Count your blessings and realize that you are a grown woman not a child dependant on your mother . Pray for your mother . Go on with your life and take care of your own family. Go to church with your family and enjoy living .
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Be the mother you would have loved her to be, to your own children. There is no time to make people love u. See God has kept u this far now u have your own family stop wasting time trying to get her attention. Remember not everyone who gives birth is a mother it takes more than giving birth to be a mother.
My advice focus on your children and your husband and when she comes around be nice to her but otherwise let her go. Its clear you was a mistake to her and she probably blames u for many things.
It’s not you it’s her… Sad!
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Let her go. That is toxic behavior and you will never be enough for her. Walk away knowing you tried. Blood doesn’t always make family…I know thats hard to swallow, but it’s true
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Cut all ties and don’t look back !!! Honestly you will feel so much better for it! You don’t need her or people in your life that want to bring you down and also keep your children away for her too !!! They definitely don’t need her poison in there life
This is sad. But it sounds so unhealthy. I would cut her off, even with her being your mother (she doesn’t sound like much of one to be fair) and concentrate on your own lovely family xx
You have a lot to work through, find a good counselor, work through your feeling, set your boundaries , build your support system and develop the tools you need to live a happy life. It could get a little costly but in the end it will be worth it.
Become your own adult…let it be known you love your Mom but you need to keep yourself happy and stepping in right direction for your own children…raise your children how you WANT your relationship to be with mother…and your mom may one day realize what she is missing with her own daughter
First of all, I’m sorry you’re in this position. I can only imagine. It sounds like your mom is resentful of you for all the wrong reasons that you have nothing to do with. Did she get pregnant young? What was her relationship with your dad? Is he alive still, or maybe you didn’t know him? None of which is YOUR fault. She’s in the wrong. She’s missing out on a relationship she could have had with you growing up, a relationship she could have with her grand kids, etc. Honestly if I were you, I would seek counseling. If you try really talking to her and it turns bad again, the do what’s best for you and your kids and cut ties. It’s gonna hurt, but it won’t hurt as bad as this does, or has. Do what’s best for you, at the end of the day. You can’t be the best version of yourself for your kids if you don’t take care of yourself and your needs.
You dont need her shit you have a new family be the mother to them she couldnt be for you.
Im going through the exact same situation, except im younger. This is year 3 of not hearing from my own mother because her and her husbands kids are the only ones that matter. Its the most heartbreaking thing you can go through, and cant get over. Have faith though that God will change her heart & mind. If youre reading this comment, dont be afraid to message me! Sometimes its good to talk about it with someone who has the exact situation going on and knows how youre feeling.
I cried for you reading this. Just know it’s not you, it’s her! The best thing you can do would be to try to move on and love your children as you’ve wanted to be loved.
It will be hard but I think you should grieve her as if she died
You have your grandparents. Use them. It sucks that you got dealt such a shitty hand. But lots of people do just fine without their parents. You’re not obligated to her for keeping you alive through your childhood. I never understood that. You owe her nothing if she gave you nothing. But I was blessed with 2 wonderful loving parents, so maybe that why. But my mother died when I was younger than you. So, we all have blessings and we all suffer. If she wants to see one of your children, let her, but do it through a 3rd party so you limit your contact. Hopefully your other children have other grandparents to depend on. There’s no point in trying force someone to love you. You deserve to spend time with people you know love you. Let her be sick elsewhere. My mother had this problem with her mother on and off. She was crazy. You can’t fix crazy if crazy doesn’t want to be fixed.
U almost have to come to terms with it it’s I am still going thru my mom has mental issues but me and my brother have tried for 30 years or more trying to have a relationship and each time she pushes us away it’s hurts but it’s ur life I personally am done with my mom
I don’t have my father or my mother, even though both are still alive. My dad has never wanted to know me, and my mom doesn’t know how to love. It’s hard some days, but it makes me appreciate the people who do love me all that much more. Hugs to you 
No it’s not healthy for u to be in this situation. Ur mom needs to be prayed for by everyone. She has issues and needs therapy. I feel that love conquer all. U may need some therapy to help you deal with your mother
My mother has treated me similar to that, except she was very abusive. The best advice I can give you is to cut ties with her, no visits, calls, etc. If or when she decides to try to re-enter your life, don’t allow it. Be the mother to your children that you wish she would have been for you. Surround yourself with people who love you and your family, and never look back!
I have been through really the same situation. My mother has been in and out of my life and I am now 41. The last incident had nothing to do with me, I just gave my sister a ride to her house. She cussed me for everything I was worth in front of my children. That was my breaking point. My mother left me at 16 to grow alone and find my way. I forgave her and helped her get off of drugs. I lost everything in the process but she is clean. All I ever wanted was my mother’s love but have realized she will only give love on her terms. And I am worth more than that. Today I live for me and I am ok with it. You have to decide does your self-worth mean more to you than another person’s vision of you.
Take care.
You can care about people from a distance. It is the only way sometimes. But I would also cut her off from all your children. Toxic is toxic.
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Its ok to let go of toxic people, that includes family. It may hurt but it will be better you and your children in the long run.
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Don’t seek her out. Walk away. Focus on your children. ,
You need to invite her to dinner lunch or breakfast somewhere that be is neutral and get to the bottom of what’s bothering her if you can’t get anything settled the let Go of this tragic situation for both of you
Been there, done that. 
I’m 48 years old. my mom started her crap with me when I was 17 years old and is on going to this day. We will go years without talking or anything, I am always the one to reach out and she treats me like poo. I’ve pretty much given up, given in, crying, wondering. I’m never gonna get it. I’ve grieved her death for alot of years now and she isn’t even dead… You will also come to that point if she doesn’t change. I’m sorry it hurts and it sucks. Cry your tears, someday they will stop, you will make peace with it and move on. I feel for you…just don’t take too long, because you will miss out on other things, unintentionally, just grieve and walk away.
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Been there sweet girl,… Im 36.5 and my biological mother hates me and has since before I was born… My grandparents(her parents) raised me as her sibling… Unexpectedly her husband(supposedly my dad) passed in July at 56 yrs old… In October my dad died and things got ugly at the funeral between us… She has often wished me dead… Its very hard and difficult to cope but you find ways… If youd like to talk my inbox is always open
I figure if my mom wanted to be in my life she wouldn’t have kicked me out of the house at 18 just because she didn’t get child support anymore ( which I figured out on my own ). Then she wouldn’t have told me not to visit her because we now have a cat and there might be cat dander on our clothes and she’s allergic and can’t take a chance. I’m like ok it’s been a little over a year since we’ve communicated and I’ve made my peace with it!
Let her go. I been there done that Its much easier for you to just let her go
Let her go she doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions. Sad she don’t bother with her other grandkids but that’s her loss.Maybe going to talk to someone would help.
Been there done that girl, being family or not once someone is toxic and makes you question such things it’s time to just let them go move on and show them your just fine without them. I have dealt with the same thing my whole life and honestly it feels great not talking to my mother, no drama, less stress and less heartache. Head up you’ve got this 
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Read the book, Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. They have se eral in the series and other resources available through their website. My mother and grandmothers were difficult women. When my daughters were born I decided to break those chains of my negative family system. It has been 40 years and I am so thankful that I did.
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Really hard to read some of the comments. Can’t imagine how a mom could do this. For all going through this focus on your families and don’t allow this to hurt them in anyway. Protect them by cutting them out of your lives.
Sometimes you just have to let someone go. Its obvious she depresses you and makes you feel hurt. Your most important thing in your life is your kids and partner now. All this does is bring you down which plays a role on your family. I wouldn’t let her near my kids to mess with them the way she did you. Its your job to protect them by not letting her in your life. Sounds like she calls the shots and you need to stand up and say enough. She only brings you down so just don’t allow it and I wouldn’t play the game where she pretends to want you in your life only to one more time disappoint you. Focus on your family and show them live and laughter and how a mom should be.
Walk away.
It’s going to be okay.
You are going to be okay.
This behavior isn’t you, this is her behavior. What can a child do to earn everlasting parental wrath? Nothing.
Please know that you are worth better and never should have been treated this way.
Surround yourself with people that love you, let them bolster you as you come to terms with this and heal from it.
Raise your children as you wanted and deserved to be raised.
Be at peace. You will be okay.
…while your at the business surrounding yourself with love, adopt another mom. We’re everywhere and many of us would love the opportunity to have a daughter/son from another mother. I have quite a few and it’s wonderful 
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Sometimes you just have to walk away, take care of yourself and your family and it’s better for your children to not have to deal with the stress situation
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I miss my mother every day, but I talk to her and she is always in my heart. That will never change .
Maybe you look like your dad and she can’t stand that…whatever the problem is, it’s her problem…let her go, take care of yourself and your children, break the cycle and let your kids know how much you love them unconditionally… Focus on them and you …someday your mom might try to reconnect…maybe when she needs for you to take care of her…
You are breaking your own heart by continuing to seek her out. That’s a terrible mother. Don’t waste your time anymore she is the one with the problem not you. Good luck
my mother bullied me, put me down, used me, etc
…you need to tell this woman how it’s gonna be, your way or the highway, no if and or buts, she either does it your way or sees none of you
Your health and children come first
Yes our poor soul howcanyourmum be like that
This made me cry! So sorry! It’s not you it’s her and her loss! Prayers!
Just because you can have a child does not make you a mother, my own mom treated me badly her whole life, unless she wanted something. She died not knowing the love she could have received from me. But I chose to stay away because my self worth wasn’t measured in how she loved me but God’s love for me. I forgave her, but only after she was gone, because even to this day I know she would never have shown me the love a mother is supposed to show her child. Please walk away so her poison doesn’t affect you and your family. Just know that God loves you, you are his child, and his love is eternal. Prayers for you and your family.
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It’s time to say goodbye to her and hello to your good mental health
If any other person was making you feel or was treating you this way, would you put yourself through it, I’m guessing probably not, just because she has that “mom” title doesn’t necessarily mean she has to be in your life. Be the best mom you can be to your kids, and this cycle will close and the future will be so much better! Prayer for you, for healing!
You really need to keep your daughter away from that toxic woman, and just focus on being a better mother than she was.
You’re definitely not alone. My mother hasn’t been there for me in 30+ yrs. She married a guy (3rd marriage after my dad & another guy) & he has 2 kids & a granddaughter. She has always been in that little girl’s life. Funny because she’s the same age now I was when she divorced my dad. She was in & out of my life growing up. She never calls my son to say happy birthday. But she’s there for my brother’s kids & her husband’s granddaughter. So low & behold it’s Christmas & I’d rather not spend it with her this year.
I’m so sorry that you are hurting. Mothers are suppose to love and care for us. That’s what we’ve been taught but that is not always the case. She may resent you because of your father.
What ever the case maybe it’s her problem and not yours. She’s probably a freaking narcissist and they are the absolute worse people. It seems as though you have a desire to still have a relationship with her even though currently, it’s toxic.
I would see if your mother would be willing to go to counseling with you. One form is called unification therapy. If she’s not willing to go. I would suggest that you go in order to learn to live with the grief and move on with your life. It’s also important that you protect your children from at all costs, especially if she doesn’t get help… If she’s a narcissist. then her wrath is not just limited to you.
Honey Child, walk away from them all. Never beg anyone to love you or like you. Their loss. Personally, I don’t stick around where I’m not wanted. Forgive them and move on.
As for your mom’s cheating husband, believe me she knows. Your mom can smell her on him.
She can’t pick and choose which grandkids to see! That’s beyond 
. I would cut her off toxic is toxic no matter who it is.
Stay the hell away from her love your kid’s raise them the right
Cut all ties with her!! Including your kids!! If she is that way to you imagine if she started to be like that to your kids!!
There is nothing wrong with cutting all ties with family if they are toxic to ur well being, mentally or physically!!