How do you cope with leaving your partner?

How do you cope with leaving your partner? I know it’s the right thing to do for everyone in the situation due to a severe lying problem and disagreement on priorities, and several arguments a week. I feel like I’m stuck like glue to this person. I do love him, but I’ve known it’s time to go for a while now. I’ve left a couple of times and struggle to stay gone. When I come back, I know I shouldn’t have.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with leaving your partner? - Mamas Uncut

I’m following I need help with the same situation

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You have to cut all ties. Fb , messages , any other sites and start thinking of yourself . Visit family and friends don’t lay around thinking

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I was there a number of years ago. First of all, you will know when you’ve had enough. My biggest regret was staying so long. But mental abuse and gaslighting is a powerful thing. I would see about getting some emdr therapies or talking to a therapist. Other than just getting the balls to stand your ground there’s nothing else anyone can really tell you to do.

Chances are they are feeling the same way too :woman_shrugging:t4:

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When you are ready you will know. The hardest thing ever-leaving someone you love because you know they don’t live you

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You have to look at ur future & realize that no good will come out of it if u drag it on (kids) & when ur ready pack up & cut all ties. Change ur number & get rid of them & their friends from ur social media. I even changed my job its hard as hell but get out while ur not tied to them - best of luck!

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It’s not easy just leave cut all ties it’ll hurt for a while but in the end you’ll feel so much better

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Just don’t go back. Find something really cool in your new life to keep your mind occupied and happy.

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Go no contact and give it time. You’ll be better off.

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Following I need help with the same thing except I have kids with him so I can’t just cut tie he a wonderful father just not partner

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I’m going through the same exact thing. It’s so hard to stay away. This the longest we’ve been apart.

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I always had a two week rule where I am super emotional. After the two weeks I get myself distracted. I also don’t have them on social media or anything that reminds me of them. The distraction is the part that helps the most. Pick up a hobby, volunteer, workout, etc. that’s how I deal with mine.

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Felt like I was typing this, same. :frowning:

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When u have to leave make sure u are financially stable so u do not have to depend on No one , and make sure u do not have to depend on No one to put a roof over ur head an to clothe or feed u…
Make sure u can fully stand on ur own once u have all the necessaties
an from there just move on …
Feelings etc… do things to forget that person occupy urself do things enjoyable as hard as it may seem sometimes u just have to force urself an move on…
Especially if that person constantly hurting u over an over its not WORTH IT!!!
Cause Emotional abuse is hurting over an over an which is not good for u
as much as u know there is No future with that person…

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It’s never easy. You have to constantly remind yourself of why you had to leave to begin with. Some people have no contact to help themselves move forward. It takes time. I was always told “if you love them set them free. If they come back the. They are yours.” As well as “what’s meant to be will be.” Sometimes time and space can help people realize what they really want and if it’s important. Enough to them they will make the change they need to.

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One day at a time try and remember the good times don’t dwell on the bad or you will drive yourself crazy just take time out for you go have lunch or dinner by yourself focus on you for a while it will get better each day. I was Married for 24 years it hurt but hey it was mutual but it still hurt but it’s been 7 years now and I am Good. We have 2 beautiful kids together so no conflict or problems

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I’ve been through this. And for me, it never really got easier, there was never a day where I woke up and felt “ready.” You just have to take a deep breath, make the decision, and promise yourself to stick to it. Even when you’re lonely, sad, missing them, or it hurts. Stick to it. Do it for YOU.

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Pray, ask God to help you.
Stay busy.dont let yourself dwell on things.keep looking forward towards a brighter future.

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I am struggling with this currently I’m trying to be patient while I try to find a place of my own but it’s not easy with kids

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But what if you have kids together its easy to say cut all ties no contact ect but it’s hard to have no contact if you have kids together x

Well personally I think it’s because you’re really not ready to leave him. When you have had absolutely enough, and are at your absolute limits oh, you will know. You’re in a hard situation and I wish you all the best.

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It got easier for me when I quit praying for him to do right and started praying for me to have the strength to walk away.

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Focus more on your own personal goals and things that make u happy. It’s okay to live for YOU!!!

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Simple: pros on one side,cons on another, look at paper then decide…shouldn’t be hard…keep with you at all times till you are convinced

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If you were in love with him you couldn’t leave. You love him and there is a different between the two. Maybe you don’t feel loved.

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if no kids the you gotta cut off all contact…no phone…no social media. no mail. no email. go to therapy. no mutual friends till youre over it…all offffff it. move away if ya gotta but one things for sure…live your life and dont be miserable

You need to just tell him, get closure, and just Leave. cut ALL means of communication. Keep yourself busy in the beginning so your not sitting around dwelling on it. With some time and space things will get easier. Best of luck

When my ex husband left I was a wreck he left me for another woman. I sat down and asked myself what is so special about him. I wrote down his good qualities… It was a shorter list than I expected. Then I asked myself which of these can’t be replaced by anybody else… Not one quality was unique to him.

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Maybe he needs mental health help? Maybe meds try everything to make it last if u can. Because believe me grass isn’t always greener on the other side … But go with your heart and genuine feelings. Because your gut instinct is what is right for you no matter what!

Best decision I ever made for myself and my children. Did I love him still? YES! Did I have to leave? YES! And I told myself everyday.

He’s not gona change until he’s ready to change.

It took a year, and we got back together we’ve been going strong 3 more years almost 4

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I had to make an actual list when I left an abusive partner. Things I want in a relationship and things i wont tolerate in a relationship. The things I wouldnt tolerate side was chock full of stuff…I tolerated. I looked at that list and thought about my daughter and would I want her dating this man. I just had to keep reminding myself that being alone is WAY better than being lonely IN a relationship. Take all the abuse out of mine and I was still lonely as hell. I had to stop watching movies and videos with happy couples in them. Missing being part of a couple makes people go back so I had to cancel that for almost 2 years!

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Focus on you it gets easier! Trust me it really does!

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I’m in the exact some boat.

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Be strong. Do what’s best for you. If it’s leaving that’s best, don’t look back.

I’m going through the same thing…in love and I have never felt so comfortable with someone…plus he does a couple things I’ve always wanted in a partner and never found but did in him…he has an issue that he won’t change and I can’t take anymore

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with leaving your partner? - Mamas Uncut

It’s called Trauma Bonding. Do some research & maybe see a counselor that can help you put a plan together. I think you’ve made the right choice to leave, when you say it’s the right thing for everyone involved. Focus on you 2 years from now & work towards that goal. It’s hard & there will be rough spots but in the end it will be worth the accomplishment. You will be so much happier!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with leaving your partner? - Mamas Uncut

Girl when you figure out that secret let me know. I left in December, I’ve stayed gone this time but still talk to him daily and seriously considering going back. And we have the same issues where he lies and is an alcoholic

That shouldn’t even be a question !!! Pack ur sh×t and walk straight out that door. Don’t u deserve better ? That should be the question !!!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you cope with leaving your partner? - Mamas Uncut

1st of all it sounds like you’re trying to prepare yourself mentally n that’s great but you definitely need to prepare yourself financially……make sure you have a nest egg to make that transition….get storage unit n make purchases for your new place peace by peace that will bring no memories of him to your new home … they do not have to be new just new to you and no strings attached to him…thrift stores are amazing !!! Your standing rule as you prepare to leave is you take nothing materialistic or personal that he has given you (gift or not) to your new home… jewelry? Pawn or sale it to the pawnshop… this is call start a new chapter in your life with a clean slate!!! When you walk out the door you should only be carrying suit cases or boxes of cloths/ family pictures. If you find yourself with too much time on your hands get a second job to stay busy!! Block his # and if you get 3 phone calls @ work tell him to stop making contact or your filing harassment charges n going for restraining order….tell him his choice… you have a right to be happy n he’s taken that away n you’ve allowed it so now it’s way past time for you to get pissed n take back your life of happiness…I don’t want to sound mean because I’m not I just know the hurt/pain you’re suffering … I did it for 16 years n these are the steps I took n I had no problem or desire to go back n never cried one tear because I got pissed at him and myself for letting it happen … Stay Strong You are Woman Let’s Hear You Roar !!! God be with you on this chapter of your life :heart: