How do you cope with the most toxic in-laws ever? Who wants to interfere with everything I and husband has to do literally. The father is deaf and lives with us, snitches about everything to his wife who’s not even here (she’s back home) she confronts us like we’re criminals if we went out and want to be updated about everything in our lives here.And her husband bugs me all the time about many things in the house how they should be kept, what should we use in kitchen and tiny matters, and what not, Moving stuff around the house without letting me know, and then I’m looking around the whole house to find things and trying to ask him with gestures which I’m not so good at. He’s deaf and I realized and bore so much in my life due to that. The misunderstandings, wrong assumptions, snitching, dictating, I’m tired mentally I’m depressed to the point I can’t do normal house chores. And take care of my kids, I struggle mentally to shrug it off my mind but keep thinking about them, mind feel trapped all time every time. My husband loves them so much and has been the best son one can be, obedient to the point where he would think raising voice as a sin(even after being right). He would stay quite most of the time due to the fear of God. How do I cope with all the drama they create every other day, my anxiety/depression gets to the point I feel my chest heavy and racing heartbeat Recently we were back home with them I got back here and the sister In law accused of saying bad stuff about her dad infront of someone, which I haven’t. I remember for sure I have not. I just made a face that showed my disagreement on my face probably which the person didn’t see but she saw and literally lied. And went ahead snitched to my mother in law who was ready to start to blame and believed without confirming or talking to me about it. When I heard this I went into deep thoughts felt numbed, for a day or two cuz I know I haven’t said anything,… Husband supports me and trusts me… what should I do ,? My mind can’t function?
Why does his father have to live with you? Sounds like the rest of the family lives far away. Why can’t he live with his wife? I’d say, time for dad to move out!
Send him back to live with wife, she got time to be messy she got time to take care of her husband. This is not what you need as a couple trying to have a life with your kids. Let the messy adults stay together. Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel and send in law back home
Either he goes or you go. Period. It’s your home and you shouldn’t be treated like that. I know if I was in your situation, my hubby would have kicked him to the curb long ago. I wouldn’t have even had to say anything. To him, our kids and I come first before the rest of the family. And that’s the way it should be in every family.
Why is he not with his wife, he would be going back, deaf or not. Also not that deaf if he is relaying information. And if Their not paying bills they don’t have the right to tell you how to live. Send him home. She definitely has time to care for him if she is in your house causing havic.
Well he would be going back with his wife. Or!!! Send him to your sister in laws. No one should interfere with your families life
Your letting their thoughts and wants overtake your life and emotionally drain you. Who cares what they think, literally STOP CARING. I wouldn’t even justify the ignorance with a response. You can’t control what or how they decide to do and behave but you can be responsible for how you react to it. Stop giving them so much power over you. Period. Get that man out of your house and live your life the way you want. You only get one…
You should not have to be uncomfortable in your own home. Tell your husband that you’re ready to move out, as long as his father is there!!!
It’s time for him to move , being deaf doses not prevent him to move out .
Your home should be your safe place. It should be where you can relax, unwind, cut loose and not worry about what is going on outside of the four walls.
I would send daddy dearest back to mommy dearest and let her take care of him. If she doesn’t want to or can’t care for him, then let the sister in law have him.
I don’t. I’d send him back to his wife to be cared for. It’s her responsibility as a wife.
Send the father-in-law back to the mother-in-law get him out of your house and then don’t worry about what anybody says or thinks
We don’t. My husband and I decided for our mental health if all a person does is take from us (example they take our peace, or comfort, or sanity) or if all someone does is knit pick at us and it makes us feel unhappy we *snip snip cut that person out. So far we don’t speak to his mom, one of his brothers, both of my mom’s (I’m adopted so bio and adopted mom’s), a few of my sister’s and my bio dad.
We decided we are to old and life is to short to be anything but happy and secure in our lives. So if you don’t add to that feeling we don’t need you.
Why is he even with you. He should be with his wife… problem solved
If ur husband supports you why are u this stressed and depressed, simply send his dad packing then he can go dictate to his wife ,this sounds like a nightmare, u need to get inlaws outta ur life asap:triangular_flag_on_post:
My husband and I are deaf… but let me tell you, send him to his wife. Why is he even there to begin with? Your husband needs to put you first and that it’s not a sin to tell his parents to stop controlling y’all’s life. He needs to put his big boys pant on and do whats right…
It’s your life not theirs see someone for your mental health and his Dad needs to go back home and take a break from his parents a while. We have had to take breaks from MIL before
why is he living with you and not his wife, whatever the reason you should not be his caretaker, find someone else to do that job and make them pay for it or have them pay you, show then how much pople get paid to do that job
You tell them that it’s YOUR house (right? You and your husband own the house and if they don’t help, they have zero say.) And if they want to continue using you guys, then they need to respect your boundaries. They need to respect your home. And they need to stop creating drama. Period. The end.
You don’t say why he is with your family. But the stress your under needs to be addressed with you and your doctor. Your husband then needs to talk to the doctor about the stress and your health. A husband loves his parents as you love your parents. But a man takes a wife and they are to cleave to each other. Your husband needs to make other arrangements for his parents. In Jesus name.
I’d let my husband know either he is ar I am becoming an outlaw.
I would talk to the husband about them moving out and explain to him how your mental health is.
It is quite literally. ‘Either they move out in a month or 2 or I’m moving out because I can’t do this’.
Send him back to His Wife or To Sister-in-law tell hubby either he goes to another family member or you and the kids are leaving . As simple as that .
You sound so very overwhelmed and that’s not ok. Father needs to go home or you go. That’s not how anyone should live, walking on eggshells and uncomfortable in their own home. Things need to change or just leave hun. You deserve better.
Maybe not the best advice but either chuck him out, rig the stairs so he falls down them or I’d go on YouTube and pick up some tips on how to deal effectively with toxic in-laws / people. Good luck 
xx
Send him to his wife. Her responsibility, not yours.
How can you say that your husband supports you, when I’m sure you tell him what’s going on and he’s done nothing about it! Also you should have told Why his father is living with you instead of his wife? It’s obvious that they are still involved if he tells her everything going on and she gets involved. Not enough info here, but it’s time to have a come to Jesus moment with your husband!
Slap hubby in back of head and then tell him to grow a pair !! His dad needs to go back to his wife and you two need to get a life. If that doesn’t work then take baby and leave.
Just give them an option: tell them you are sorry he is unhappy staying with you, you would be happy to send him home. Or he can adjust to your home and you stop worrying about his whining.
Sounds like you guys need some counseling or the dad needs to move out. Your husband needs to support you either way