How do you deal with bitter other parents?

Does anyone or has anyone dealt with a bitter baby mom or bitter baby, dad? That it’s so bad, they are controlling what happens in our home between us? How do you stop it? What steps should one take as a stepmom or stepdad? help


Id tell them it aint none of their business what happens in my home until they pay my bills they or anyone in that matter is gonna tell me how to raise kids or stepkids in my home


Pray ! Lots of PRAYING!

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I did for for years… and years. My stark advice that you shall not take as I didn’t. If its constant and prolonged (a year or more) leave. It will be worse for child(ren) and you if you don’t. Those scars last. You can’t solve it. No matter the love you give (or financial support).
If you chose to I hope you defy the odds.


Stand up to them! I’m sorry but as long as there is a court order custody agreement the “other parent” can not keep the kid or kids away from the mom or dad just because there not abiding by “there rules” Its your life your house not there’s do as you will! And if the mom/dad is letting this go on and not putting a stop to it then I would in my opinion walk away!

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They can’t control what goes on in YOUR home unless you allow it.

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Took it to court, I dont play those games


We did for years. You control what affects how you are in your home. I used to get very upset by my husband ex and how she manipulated the kids and affect things in our home. You need to make a conscious effort to push his/her bs aside and know they will never change and you can’t let them affect your family in your home. You will be so much happier. We ended up back in court and have custody of the children and things have been much better but it was a long road. Hang in there and fight for your family! It will get better.

You cant. My ex has been jealous for years. He went as far as manipulating the kids and falsely accusing me of child abuse. Now, my kids are older and want nothing to do with him or his girlfriend.

Long story short, I was the girlfriend of my now boyfriend and his babymom for a little while. She needed up leaving us and I stayed with him. She was bitter at first. And it was really hard to deal with her. She acted as if I wasnt good enough to be around her daughter but had no problem with me taking care of her when she was still with us. Its going to be hard but try sitting down with her and having a heart to heart. Let her know that you care about her child and that just because you are in the picture doesnt mean you will try to take her spot. You have to learn how to co-parent. It might be hard but its the best thing for the child if you all get along.

Tell them not to contact you unless it’s an emergency with your child, or if it’s something concerning your child, other then that they have no say on anything else. It’s real anything, but once you stand up for yourself they know they can’t control you.

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It’s kind of hard to judge this situation or give advice without specific examples of what is going on and a little bit of history. Sometimes they act this way because they are immature, breakup wounds are fresh, they don’t trust one or both of you for some reason but in the end they really can’t control what goes on in your home as long as you are taking care of the children. I was the step mom once and all the dad is now my ex and my stepson is a grown man, his mother and I are great friends and we’ve always gotten along because we both communicated and loved her son. When his father and I moved in together I asked her out to lunch so that she could get to know the person who would be taking care of her child. We met together at a McDonald’s with my daughter and her son. The ex and I were only together for 4 years and were divorced 19 years ago, the only thing that I’ve ever gotten mad at her for is not warning me what a gigantic POS her sons father is😂

Stay out of it and let the parents figure it out.


The first thing you do is stay out of the parenting decisions between biological mom and dad. Love the child as your own but, try and stay neutral. It might sound harsh but, believe me, things will run smoother and the other parent won’t feel like they need to be on the defense. It’s not your fault that they are but, we’re talking about a broken family and all the drama that comes with it.


There was a short period of time that I realized that I was being the bitter BM. And it was because he was still banging me while claiming to be in a relationship with HER.
I was now the side chick.

2 years later…
She’s gone and are back together and had another baby.
Btw… this us a man with 2 masters degrees and a well paying career. So anyone can act a hot mess.

Mind ya business. It may not be that they’re bitter. You need to know both sides to it.


I saw both sides of the story and tried to stay out if it as long as I could. Until I had had enough of the bm getting in my boyfriends face every single time it was drop off. And then telling his parents whom are the caregivers, when things where their business and when things weren’t. She came to our house one day and I gave her a piece of my mind and she tried to have an RO against me. Hahahahaha. The joke was on her when my lawyer advised the judge that this was the same mother she had sentenced to months of anger management for physically assaulting my boyfriend. Needless to say, she’s changed her tune :wink:Now she knows where my place is. I take care of the child as if she were mine. And that just burns her up.

Boundaries…healthy boundaries and if they cannot respect healthy boundaries then you are dealing with a toxic person. When it comes to their child let them sort that shit out… but when it comes to your home, your kids, your spouse and it doesn’t involve their child then they are over stepping boundaries and kindly needs to take a few steps back because they are overstepping into your territory and I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if you reversed those tables now would they? I’m banking on a no here. It’s okay to be civil and still tell someone to back the hell up when you need to.

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I have seen too many GOOD MOTHERS being referred to as Bitter Baby Mommas usually by the father’s new GF bc she somehow has convinced herself that she should be held in the same regard. WRONG… You need to understand that playing house with the father DOSEN’T make you Mom/Stepmom, being around THIER child/children for 2 days every other weekend dosen’t make you an EXPERT on THIER kids or family dynamics. RESPECT the fact SHE is the MOTHER of his children and has DEVOTED her life to those children, and just bc they aren’t together dosen’t make them any less a FAMILY, She has EARNED her place , you have to EARN yours too, ESPECIALLY WHEN children are involved.

Stay out of it. Offer advise to your SO ONLY if he asks for it or brings it up first, other than that all you can do is be supportive of you SO

If it gets too bad run

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if its controlling your home, you need to speak to your significant other. you can’t control what their ex is doing or saying, but if they are allowing it to effect your home… its not the ex that is the problem

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First off sit down with the kids father and agree upon a list of behaviours etc that are acceptable to you in your home. For example bedtimes,chores,tv shows,clothing,and other routines. Then give the list to the kids mom and get her to add things to it as she sees fit. Combine the two lists and you should have a list of rules,routines and discipline that works for all the adults and provides the kids with a secure environment regardless of which parent they are with. It may take some work on his part but he can always text it if there is concern about it being an issue.
Once the list is complied there is no reason for the step parents to be in conflict with the biological parents because the biological parents (with Imput ) from the step parents helped establish the list

I agree with letting the parents deal with their child…but what I don’t agree with is the other parent wreaking havoc in my household. They do NOT have a say so about what goes on in my home as long as their child is well taken care of and treated fairly and not exposed to inappropriate people or situations. It would not be tolerated. And if my Significant Other could not get a handle on the situation then I would have to rethink our relationship. You do not deserve to be miserable in your own home because of his/her past issues. That crap should have been taken care of before moving on to someone else.

Stay United with your husband and let them know nothing will shake you. The only time you should have contact is if it pertains to the child other than that zero communication with them.

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Do not communicate with the other parent unless it’s about medical or exchanges. If they make rude comments or make remarks , don’t respond! Eventually they will get the hint and stop doing it .

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My ex won’t hear a peep out of me! Only the three f rule! Fever, fracture or fatality :+1:

Following! I’m dealing with a bitter baby mama that tries to control everything in our house. Pfft. 5 yrs of hell

Don’t listen to what they have to say. You house your rules. If they say anything bad or negative to document it. They can be spiteful littles turd heads. That isn’t going to change anything. They just need to grow up and realize that they have no control over you or the child’s other parent. It’s ok to co parent, and exchange information about the child. However them telling you what to do with the child while they are in your care, is not ok. Unless is medical, you don’t have to put up with they bs. Just ignore them. Nothing pisses off a spiteful parent, the. Getting ignored cause they are being jackasses. Lol