I’m due in a month and am in need of advice with dealing with difficult family members. I’m 19, and this is my first child. When I first found out I was pregnant, my mother told her bf that she’s been with since I was an infant. He is accepting of it now, but told my mom “well, this isn’t my actual grandchild”. I told her it hurt my feelings, and she didn’t see anything wrong with it! I told her, “well, I’m not his actual kid, so what difference does that make?” No response. The most recent incident was when I was talking to my mom about giving birth. She told me, “I swear to god if you start screaming during labor, I’m going to beat your a**. Yeah, it hurts, but it’s not like you’re dying.” It doesn’t make me feel comfortable, and she’s just stressing me out more than anything. How do you handle rude family members? I’m going crazy
Honestly? Cut them out. They’re causing more harm than good.
First of all: she doesn’t need to be in the delivery room with you. You do NOT need the negative energy. Secondly, your mindset should be solely focused on a safe and calm delivery for your baby. Good luck honey. It will be okay. 
It’s not rude if it’s the truth …truth hurts sometimes
Your of age don’t have her in the delivery room it’s your choice
Lol dony deal with the.
Leave. Get a place of your own. They sound toxic. Get an epidural. Don’t tell anyone when you are giving birth unless you want them in the room with you. Stay positive. In one ear out the other
Your mom does not need to be in labor and delivery room with you. Focus on your baby. There is nothing to do about mom’s boyfriend.
Yeah…id just cut them off. Why keep that kind of mess around?
Personally I’d quit talking to them!!
She wouldn’t be with me in labor and they all sound rude hopefully all goes well for you
Cut them out. N she shouldn’t be in the delivery room
Where them scissors at? Cut them off!
Oh honey. You need to get away from that. I know it’ll be hard since you’re young but you can do so much better. You do not need that. The transition to becoming a mother is hard enough with that negativity.
As for your mother’s comment, that is ignorant of her. You scream, you yell, it part of birth. It hurts and you are allowed to express it however YOU wish. I would keep her OUT of the delivery room personally. You will have enough to deal with.
If you need someone to talk to about birth or anything feel free to message me. 
Leave her ass out of the birth room and your life
Have you told them how their comments are making you feel? I’d start there. If that doesn’t work I’d disengage. Pregnant, birth, and being a new mother is hard. During labor and when you’re first getting used to having a baby you’re not going to want anything else stressful around you. I’d honestly stop talking to anyone who was causing negative feelings 
Girl, you can do this, I would have a friend or cousin or aunt in the delivery room with you not your mother. That is the most rude thing to say to someone because they are in pain their going to beat their ass? Disgusting, and I certainly wouldn’t trust her to babysit. Besides everyone’s labour’s are different, maybe hers were easy? Regardless you need someone supportive, anyone who’s not has GOT TO GO! I have cut a lot of my family and I’m so much better off. You can do this girl, you will be a good mom to your baby and strong and independent. Don’t listen to the haters who want to put you down.
Toxic family members don’t get a place in my life. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.
Rude family members are dumped, let them want or need you. You or the baby don’t need the stress or toxicity of nonsense. It’s too much energy wasted
Your mum sounds like an asshole… pick a new birth partner if baby daddy not in the picture… your mums boyfriend is a dick… who cares if it’s not biological his grandchild… why even say that? Who cares! And thirdly, you’re bringing a baby into this world at a very young age… you’ll need to mature up and ignore the rude people, get yourself some good solid support because you’re going to need it… good luck 
I wouldn’t have her with me when I gave birth. I “screamed”, it wasn’t pain but vocalizing when I pushed…
Her threatening to attack you while your giving birth is absolutely horrible!
Space yourself from them I.
I would just tell her not to be in the delivery room if she isn’t going to be supportive and if she’s going to make you feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t have to be involved. Instead, you can ask a supportive aunt, cousin, even friend to be there with you in addition to dad (if he’s involved). You deserve to be able to enjoy the experience without having to worry that if you scream you’re gonna get your “ass beat”.
Cut ties with toxic family members.
Don’t let them in the delivery room. Not if they aren’t going to be supportive. You don’t need the added stress on top of labor.
I don’t deal with them. If they’re not following my rules for my family they can kick rocks.
Don’t stress yourself out with even having her in your delivery room.
You should feel comfortable and be in a loving and welcoming atmosphere.
If you want to scream, moan, cry … you should be able to do so!
Screw that!!! Chica, go apply for housing if you can’t move out on your own and your 19, a young adult, or maybe you and your boyfriend can get a place?
Maybe I’m all off and you already have a place, but regardless of how they feel… DO NOT tolerate that type of condescending abuse!!!
Find a good support system and a good day care, make some goals and continue on with life!! Make some friends and build a healthy support system!!!
Every labor is different, lean on your medical staff, and don’t ever be afraid to ask for what you need. Read and prepare before baby arrives. Find out legal rights if your single for your state as well, ijs… prayers and best wishes!!
Don’t let her be in the delivery room. This is an extremely special time in YOUR life. You can’t get that moment back. NO ONE has the right to ruin it for you. After delivery… all the days, weeks, months, years after delivery, let them make the effort to be a part of your baby’s life.
Probably wasn’t necessary for her to repeat what her boyfriend said .
Also her boyfriend will enjoy your baby , just as much as he enjoyed you .
Don’t fret , I was nineteen when my first baby was born .
I was alone because husband worked out of town & my mother didn’t offer to be there. Don’t think she even had a car .
Anyway I did it alone , so if I did , if you are alone you will be ok Momma . Good luck , hugs
Tell her to shove it. And tell her partner that if he doesn’t want anything to do with his step grand child, then neither of them need to be involved in the slightest.
My dad’s wife treats my daughter like her own grand child, and my daughter was born before they even met. My daughter loves her extra grand mother 
Don’t have your mother in the delivery room. She sounds terrible
Try to go do it with your best friend.Doesn’t seem.like you are getting any kind of support at home
Fuck that. If she wants to be that rude, don’t let her in the room. It hurt and if that’s how you deal with your pain, that’s what happens.
Have the orders made by the doctor that they are not allowed in. Simple.
Lord. I was 30 with my first child and I screamed like the excorcist. And with my second and im due in Jan agsin and i know I’m gonna scream again. Have someone else in the room with you. …
I ignore them 
who cares what they gotta say
Your 19 About to give birth time to look into different housing arrangements and cut them from your life
You just take care of yourself and baby.The nurses will run her off if she gets abusive in the delivery room. I am praying for you and your family and baby.
Dude, your mom threatened to assault you if you screamed while you were in labor. Why the hell are you even in contact with her
So just be in labor by yourself
Don’t have them around if they can’t be positive and supportive around you or your child because what kind of example will that set your child later? Ive had to do the same. Being a mother changes everything.
Your mother sounds very very insecure.
By not letting them in the delivery room during my most private & painful time of my life. Problem solved.
There was a time not so long ago that the way is was
You need to take care of you. There will be crying and screaming and your mom making a threat like that is about as low as anything a parent could tell their expectant daughter. Don’t allow her in the delivery room. You don’t need the toxic atmosphere.
cut out toxic.
Girl I know that’s your mother, but you don’t need her in the room when you have your baby. My mother told me I was being dramatic and my labor was taking to long WHILE I WAS IN ACTIVE LABOR, and then she left like 3 hours before my child came and I still haven’t forgiven her (it’s been 13 months) she had 3 c section, 1 emergency one about 20 years ago, and two scheduled (which means she went in at a set time and had a baby within an hour of being there, didn’t have contractions, and was never in active labor) with her emergency c section (which was myself) they did it after 3 hours of labor, they knew I wasn’t gonna come out so they didn’t make her push or anything. I was in labor for 30+ hours including pushing, so she like actually thought I was being dramatic and that I was making it take so long (like I could control it) it stressed me out so much and hurt my feelings so fucking much that she decided I was taking too long and left, she didn’t even get to see her first grandchild come into the world. I’m sorry I went on a little rant, but I just wanted to get the point across that if you do choose to let her in the room, you might just end up super upset and you don’t need that on the most beautiful day of your life hun!
Tell her she doesn’t get to be in the delivery room. And you’re an adult. Tell them all to shove it.
you say how you feel if they don’t respect your wishes take a break from them at least till you give birth you don’t need the extra stress now and you tell her I will give birth however you feel like screaming with every contraction and push
Don’t let her in the delivery room. I didn’t let my mom in the delivery room while I had my son because I was scared she would cause me more stress. You have to do what’s best for u and your baby now. Remember sweetheart, if you’re stressed, your baby will also be stressed. Good luck mama.
Let her know how you feel about the things she says but being as young as you are I wouldn’t burn any bridges unless you absolutely have to because you may end up needing assistance some day.
And unless your mom has made a habit of assaulting you in your life I highly doubt she truly meant she was going to do so while you were in labor. Sounds more like she is inappropriate and needs to learn how to communicate without being an ass
People say a lot of dumb things. Don’t bother getting upset. I promise it’s not the worst. Their thoughts should matter to your none. Just think of that beautiful baby you’re going to have soon and keep it moving.
Please do not leave your child alone with either of them!
Honestly cut both of them out of ur life u don’t want ur child around people like that… also make sure u tell the nurses when u do go into labor u don’t want either one in the room or even at the hospital period… is there someone else in ur family that’s NOT drama or stressful that u can live with? Or can u find a place of your own? My son is 4 and I’ve cut a lot of people out of his life cause of how they act cause he doesn’t need that kind of crap in his life…
Well, your child is not your mothers boyfriends grandchild so he is correct there. You are not his actual kid so you are right there, no issues yet… oh and if your mom acts like that now then I for sure would not allow her in the delivery room! Tell her if that’s how she feels then you wouldn’t want to cause issue with her by actually making a noise during delivery so she could wait in the waiting room with the rest of the family or just not come at all, her choice. And my husband was the only person in the delivery room both times so it’s not like your mom HAS to be in the delivery room or has some right to be there, only you and your husband.
You don’t have to let them in the delivery room. Your the Mom now. Even if your baby isn’t born yet. Sweetheart there is people that will help you. Contact social services.
If she Gon be loud and Rude she Don’t Deserve to be Around that Beutiful Blessing!!! Neither You or Your Precious baby deserve that… She’s ignorant if she Don’t see the baby as a Blessing!!!
Let the nurses know who you do and do not want in the room with you during delivery, sounds like your mom might make your delivery stressful. Do you have anyone else you can have with you? An aunt, friend, or boyfriend someone who will be calming and supportive noth threatening to hit you.
Just don’t have her in the room with you, or around, o even in the hospital 
And her BF, even if he hurt your feelings, what are you gonna do? Even if he takes it back or clarifies what he “meant”, you already know how he sees things and how he feels inside 
Don’t let her in the delivery room!!!
Looks like she might get to meet your beautiful baby after the birth. 🤷 I am sorry you are going through this.
U are over 18 and can make your own decision on if u want the epidural shot or not. Only person that needs to be in the delivery room with you and medical staff is the father of the baby. The rest can wait in waiting room.
Just don’t talk to them about your pregnancy and if they try to say anything rude just walk away.
Only talk to the ones who want to be positive about it.
Talk with your Doctor Of Who And How U want things to go. Your Choices Not nobody elses.
I wouldnt have her there for labor. 
Walk away go back to your own apartment / house and ignore them. If you still live with them they think they get away with more because you are living under their roof. Just have your husband or baby daddy with you in labor she doesn’t have to be there. As for your mom’s boy friend of 
19 yrs its not his grandchild not everyone likes babies and is probably letting you know he doesnt want to be responsible taking care of it.
U may need to distance yourself from both of them. Distance doesn’t have to be forever & it doesn’t have to be a negative. I had my oldest at 19…u can do this Mama!!
If he ever disciplined you growing up then he acted like your father. And the would make your child his grandchild. What he is being like this now? And keep your mom out of the room. Scream loud enough so she can hear from waiting room
My mom told me if I screamed she’d leave. Not quite as drastic but the pain is something you’ll have to deal with. As for him being the grandfather tell your mom you don’t want him around your child if he doesn’t want to be and you won’t be bringing the baby around while he’s there.
Well your not supposed to scream during contractions your supposed to breath thru it otherwise the baby is not getting as much oxygen. In the car I screamed a few times on the way there but don’t have her in the labor delivery room is she stressed you out.
pick another coach for your delivery
I would not have her in the room. End of story.
Be careful around toxic Grandmas
yes you will do great. do breathing baby classes
Well, first of all, you need to throw your mother out on her ass. She is not a mother. And her boyfriend can go with her. I urge you to try to get out of the situation I’m get help to get your own place.
my mum was the same didn’t say that though but she was by my side the whole way through my labour even when I was a nasty cow to her
Keepthem far far away
When you get to the hospital, let them know that what you want during labor. If you don’t want anyone in the room, they will kick everyone out.
And to your mother, SHE CAN HOLLOR, YELL, SCREAM, CRY, whatever she has to do to get this baby out safely. You do not have any right to threaten to beat her for screaming during the most painful experience of her life.
Shoot, I when threw my first without pain meds and I was screaming like crazy lol I remember the nurses looked panicked and I’m pretty sure I scared everyone in the unit!
The hospital staff is there for you and ONLY YOU. Good luck.
You gotta hold family members with a grain of salt. They won’t always be who we want them to be for us. My father walked out on my high school graduation and my wedding as soon as the ceremonies were completed. Only reason he stayed for my college graduation was cause it was on the other side of the state. Does it still hurt me? Yes. Do I still love him? Yes. It will always have a negative impact, especially since he’s likely to do it on my next big life event, but I at least learned the lesson that while you don’t turn your back on your family, they won’t always have mutual feelings towards you, just like with friends and dates.
She is toxic just get away from her. And bring someone else to the delivery room
yours parents may have drama between them
You probably won’t scream with the shot , so I would just have the nurse in there. Mom can wait until the baby is born. If the father is in the pic.he should be the only one in there if you want.
First, find someone else to be in the delivery room with you, because if she says anything that’s not 100% supportive, she will be kicked out. Talk to the hospital ppl ahead of time. Tell them to note your chart that she only stays if she behaves. Yes, it’s going to hurt, but if it was too awful we wouldn’t have second children! You can do this! She’s in some kind of sick competition to be tougher than you. Some sad women are like that.
My mom use to say what would Jesus do .
I tell rude family members to fuck off out of my face until your attitude changes
Your “family” is toxic and they need to get it together or cut them outta your life
Don’t let them have anymore than you want them to have. If it is stressing you about her being in delivery then don’t let her in. That is your choice. It is gonna hurt a lot and if you wanna scream then do it and don’t worry about what anyone thinks.
I screamed during childbirth. Lol. It’s different for everyone so don’t think too much on it. If you have any questions or issues, you can ask me. Family members, yikes. I do not know. It sounds a little mean, but if he came around then maybe he overloaded his mouth and I’m sure he regrets it now. Just say how you feel and if it’s not something that no one is going to agree on, just walk away. It’s not worth it to get worked up and upset. I have family like that and when I had my son, I was too tired to deal with the petty stuff. He kept me busy which is a good thing.
Honestly I would have an adult convo with both of them… Put your feelings out and if they can’t see what they are doing/saying is affecting you they do not need to be in the delivery room or around you/the baby
Distance! Childbirth is painful… and you do you in the delivery room! And if that man was a real man he would accept you and this baby as his own. I’m so sorry you have this negativity in your life!
Don’t let her in the delivery room!! And say to hell with them!! My step dad was thrilled when I had my son he’s took care of me since I was two hr claims me as his kid same with my brother blood or not he’s cared for us he should be thrilled even if your not his real child
Having a baby is beautiful, your having it not her. Yell if you want to. Its her loss not your’s. Pick someone to be with you that loves you. Becoming a mommy is special, becoming a grandma is too. Do not let her ruin this special time in your life.
I wouldn’t have your mom in the labor room. I’m a labor and delivery nurse if you need to have your nurse tell her that they dont allow visitors during active labor. Labor is difficult enough you need support not someone who is going to upset you. Your nurse will be there to help you and support you through the process
Don’t go into giving birth with pre conceived thoughts. It is painful but it’s the most precious time of your life. Keep toxic away and focus on the good. You have this baby to focus on don’t need to worry about outside stress and don’t allow it to be there. Prayers for you
I screamed a lot. It hurts like hell and I wanted to die. I was also put on pitocin which makes it even more painful. But I have a low pain tolerance, so…
Why does it matter so much if you scream or not? Geez some people are so toxic and ridculious. The baby being born is what matters at the end of the day.
Have your nurse kick them out. You are not obligated to have anyone in the room that you don’t want.
If my mom ever said that, I’d tell her to keep her ass at home. My stepdad claimed all my kids as his grandkids. Honestly I’d tell her she’s not welcome in the room if she’s going to be like that.
I had my first at 19… took my mom months to get used to it but I didn’t live with her. My family has been extremely rude with this 3rd one though saying things like “it never should have happened” and other hurtful things… I got them to stop by telling them it’s not their child and they’re not the ones raising our children.
My FIL was the rude one when it came to my first labor… told me my husband’s mom was 17 and didn’t cry like me and I should act better (we did live with him but even though I was 19 my husband was 26/27) I just screamed at him til he took me to the hospital and once there his whole attitude changed.
You just either have to big girl up amd tell them what’s what or keep them out of the picture.
Tell her not to bother being there how inconsiderate is she