I have a question about bedtime/adult-only time. I have one son, just turned 7. He goes to bed at 8 pm right now, and 8-10 pm is my husband and my alone time for our adult tv shows, intimate time, talking, etc. I’m wondering how other parents keep their alone time as their kids get older. As my son gets older, he will want to stay up later, and I’m not sure how to get around this? As it is right now, he goes to bed when it is light outside at eight, lol, and it seems early, but I do not want him to stay up later. I do not want to lose the adult-only time we have. I get up for work early, around 5 am, so staying up later for me is not really something I’d like to do either. Do I allow him to stay up later but need to stay in his room? Does it come down to me getting less sleep staying up later myself, or we just lose our alone time as he gets older?? And this is normal? How does it work in everyone else’s households?
I remember when I was a kid I was allowed staying up later if I stayed in my room. I could read a book or watch a movie from my bed. It was my moms way of getting me to relax but still allowing me to stay awake longer if I wanted
They stay in their room, you are allowed your alone time.
My son is 10 and he is in bed at 730 school nights and 8 on weekends with tv off by 9
We have wind down time. Which is at least an hr laying in bed. Whether it’s watching tv, reading. I’d suggest just extended the “wind down” time before lights out.
My parents sent me to bed at 8pm till I was in middle school… I was allowed to stay up in my room and read books maybe they let me mess around on my computer once I had one in middle school till 9:30 when parent locks kicked me off
My older kids (11, 9, 6) go to bed 8-830 school nights then 8-9 weekends. They can read if they aren’t tired but they have to stay in bed. Youngest 2 yrs stays up until we go to bed.
When I was a kid we had a “bed time” but really just had to be in our rooms so read, tv, etc.
School nights its 8pm. When they don’t have school they can go to the room & stay up.
Parents should have their alone time. I have a 4 year old and 13 year old daughter and in my house what has happened is after my 4 year old goes to sleep around 730, 8, my 13 year old wants time with us alone to hang out amd ends up being with us most nights until 10pm or so. So eventually we told her we understand she wants time with us especially without her sister being around but some nights we just need time to ourselves so some nights she hangs out in the living room doing her own thing until bed amd then some nights we still spend time with her. Win, win for everyone.
By the time they are pre teens they probably won’t like you anyway so they will just leave you alone
Oldest is 16 and youngest is 4. You have to set boundaries. This is my alone time. Leave me alone. Goodnight.
I feel like once he gets older you will get to a point where you will definitely have less alone time each night unless you stay up later. 8pm is a great bedtime for his age, especially if he isn’t doing activities. Lots of my kids activities aren’t even over til 8 some nights so bed time is obviously later for us. They are horrible sleepers though. Alone time is a rarity 
I get up at 5am as well. I go to my room and lock the door and turn the TV on lol. My children are 13, 10, 9 and 5. The 5 year old is first one out around 8 to 830. Others lol they go to their room but won’t go to sleep.
My children as they got older they were allowed to stay awake, if they stayed in their rooms, they could read or write in a Journal(no electronics allowed).
We have a 7, 4,3,2 and soon to be newborn. Our youngest 3 go to bed around 7-730 and our oldest goes to bed around 830. We tell him to watch tv in his room starting at 730 and he gets one hour and at 830 he needs to bring the remote to our room and if he can do that until his 8th birthday then he can stay up until 9pm and it’ll stay that way for a longgggg time. But that’s how we get around it when they go to bed later send them to their rooms watch tv and turn in the remote at a certain time.
What’s adult only time!?
We have our kiddo(almost 11) go read for the last hour if we want to watch something. That way we can watch something that isn’t appropriate for her. We’ve had some push back lately because her brother (he’s almost 2 months) is cuddling with hubby or I and she says he has to go if she does. We had to explain that he doesn’t understand nor can see what we’re watching us he’s asleep.
My daughter is 6. She goes to bed around 8. Not asleep but she lays down & watches tv. She knows its not time for play.
My son is barely 2 so we put our shows on once he goes to sleep, but when I was younger, like teenage years, my parents would legit just say we’re going to our room goodnight. If we were watching something in the living room they would leave us be, and just retreat to their bedroom.
Let him watch TV or a movie in his room with a timer on it. This way he’ll fall asleep and you have your time
My kids bedtime was always 8/9 when they were older and eaten into teen years it stayed the same. But bedtime didn’t mean lights out as they got older. They could read, watch TV, do homework (teens) but it ment in your room and quiet.
We had room time for our teens. 9 pm school nights 10 pm, weekend and summer. Even through high school. There were exceptions, but it was so we could have time to ourselves.
There’s such a thing as alone adult time
My 12 year old has an 8:30 sharp bedtime. Even on weekends. And during the summer. Now if anyone knows a trick to get my 3 month old to go to sleep before 2am I’m all ears
Bed time is 8pm until age 13 then its 9 PM and you are in your room for that hour…by 9 PM I’m dead anyways 430 am starts my day
Our youngest is 11, her bed time is 9pm, I’d like it to be earlier but she would just get us up at 5am instead of 6am. Often if we want to watch a movie, we will let her go to her room and play quietly for the last hour before bedtime, sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes I check on her after the movie is over.
We usually have to start a movie no later than 7/7:30pm or WE don’t make it through (fall asleep lol).
We don’t have a lot of alone time but we all need SOME of it.
My boys are 15 and 10. The 15 year old can stay up till midnight on the weekend in his room. The 10 year old crashes at 9.
They’ll want to spend less time with you the older they get. They’ll have their own things they enjoy that don’t include mom and dad. I have 3 teens and we’re very close but they spend a lot of time doing their own thing.
I don’t get letting kids stay up all night cuz they ‘want to’. I think 9 is a reasonable time for any age.
My child is 9. Also 8pm bed time.
Keep the bedtime the same. But as he’s older he’s allowed to stay up for an extra half hour… hour in his room only. If he comes out. It’s automatic lights out.
Uh you can still have adult time when kids are awake. In fact it’s easier as they get older because the older they get the less direct supervision they need.
You’re the parent. They go to bed when you tell them to. If you dont want to lose out on your adult time, than dont
I have 3 kids and am a single mom. I need my alone time after a long day. My almost 7 year old is in bed about 7-7:30pm and my 10 and 11 year old read at night until 8 on school nights. Reading calms their brains down for bed. On the weekends my almost 7 year old goes to bed 8 at the latest and the older two 8:30 or 9.
My now 8 year old bedtime is 9 if I put him to bed early he is up about 4 am (this has been a thing from age 3/4 to current) so we gave him a small lamp for his room to read, play cars, draw but all quietly etc. Lamp is on a timer so it will shut off if he falls asleep before turning it off. While hubby and I get alone time till I pass out lol
When I was little my parents would lock their door & I was not allowed to come in. I could read, watch TV, play with toys, color. Never questioned it.
I have grown children and both my husband and I worked. As they get older you will desire more time with them. Spend it with them now and take advantage of any extra time they give you as they get older. They do need a reasonable bedtime but when they go to school they don’t get home until the evening, have homework, bath, etc. They need more than an hour a day of quality time with their parents. No parent needs self care every evening. Try a date night a week. Don’t neglect your children for your own benefit.
Put a tv in his room and let home watch a show alone in his room when hes allowed tp stay up later or let him have tablet or something to play in his room for the extra time
My mom made it so I was always in my room by 8-9 and in bed. If I stayed up or anything it was fine as long as I was in my room and in bed by that time
My son is 10 school nights is 9 weekends is later. He knocks before coming in the room. But my boyfriend and I have tv time together. We do it with a 20 month old snuggle us. Our babes falls asleep around 8ish. We can still have our time. And if we have sex we both wake earlier then the kids and we have our time like that in the morning sometimes
They leave me alone most of the time as they get older lol
There’s a dynamic shift that happens in about the next 3 years or so where they want to spend more time alone (just…keep a lot of toilet paper on hand. Like a ridiculous amount.) And then spend more time with their friends, thus you get more alone time.
Call me CRAZY! but why does it sound like your alone time etc has to be scheduled? I think that is so crazy. I am a mother of 5 ages 25,24,23,13&7. I personally fill if I want time alone with my SO it can be in the middle of the day for 10 min. ( that’s what car rides are for, a bedroom lock etc. ) but hey maybe that’s just me. All I know is I am not scheduling my time around when my kids go to sleep.
My daughter is 10 she stayes up til 10 ish and once my toddler goes to bed at 8 thats the start of my alone time and she usually just stays in her room but maybe tell him he can stay up later but only if hes being quiet in his room with tablet or tv could help
You can change bedtime to later, but still enforce quiet time after 8pm. Have him play quietly in his room for an hour before bed.
My oldest had a bedtime of 10, but he usually goes up at 8:30 with his younger siblings and just plays a game or reads for a while. He also enjoys the solitude.
Our 1,3and 6 year old go to sleep at 7pm and are at time knocked out before 8pm . Our 8year old and 10 yr go to sleep 8-8:30 depending when we are done bible study. Couple years back before my 1yr and 3yr were born they would go to sleep when we would and it was crazy. We didn’t spend time together or they would stay up past 10 (not tired) we finally found a routine and stayed consistent so we can spend time together
I don’t think teenagers come out of there room for anything, so you’ll be good! 
They got u well trained
They need less supervision as they get older so it’ll be easier to have adult time lol. Get a bedroom lock if u have to. My son is 12 almost 13 and he only comes out when internet not working when hes hungry when he needs to use bathroom and for school lol. So good luck
They start avoiding you during most of the time. Not hard to get alone time.
Honestly you will miss it. We renovated our basement and now we see our teen at meal times …they grow way to fast …
Could someone please explain what alone adult time is?
24 years of parenting and I didn’t know this was a thing
No seriously, does it need to be so scheduled ?
Kids are only little for a short time x
Everyone one has a calm it down time in our house they dont have to go to bed but they do need to be in their rooms watching tv. Music, reading ect.
Don’t have kids? Grandparents house? Date night? Idk my husband and I didn’t really need “alone time” because we liked being around our kids? Staying up late might typically be one night a week realistically for most couples with kids. Worse if you work opposite shifts. 
My kiddos take themselves upstairs, every night, at 8pm. They do their night routine stuff (potty, brush hair, brush teeth, etc.) they know lights out it as 8:30 on a school night at between 9-10 on a weekend. Weekends they can watch a movie in the spare bedroom, as we don’t allow TV’s in their bedrooms, and hubs and I have our time. I love my girls, they are 8 and 11, but I also love my husband. Alone time with him, whether intimate or just watching TV. is important for our relationship. Just because I have children, doesn’t mean my relations with my husband no longer is. He was here first and will be here long after they move out. don’t feel bad for wanting that time with him. But also try and be spontaneous, when it allows. When the weather is nice, send them out to play and sneak off for a few minutes…get creative. 
My kids have their own rooms and they keep themselves busy in there and I’m in my room watching tv 