I’m a Mum of 4, my youngest being 6… I returned to work fulltime when my youngest started school after being a stay-at-home mum for years. How do working mums find the balance!? How do you not get overwhelmed with the constant to-do list? I’m so tired when I get home!! everyone is…(we leave the house at six and are back home around 4) how do you still be a great mum, spend that quality time with the kids and just generally keep it all together without going absolutely insane
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It is very hard. Stick to a routine and schedule. I set out uniforms and clothes and pack lunches the night before. I clean a little each day but save major chores for the weekend. Save errands and shopping for the weekend. Pick easier dinners in the air fryer. We usually eat dinner together and watch a movie.
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Family of 5 here and i have always worked full time. I literally clean all the time when I’m not working until bed usually. Its the only way I can keep up with it all. I clean and cook all weekend long too. I do my “deep cleaning” on the weekends(toliets, bathrooms, tubs, sinks). I have the kids do chores as well and pick up their own rooms. I do a lot of grocery shopping on my lunch breaks cause there’s just never enough time for it all. Gotta fit things in when you can sometimes.
I really don’t think there’s balance. You just learn what works for your family. Some things don’t get done & that’s just fine 
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It really ebbs and flows, as far as balance. Sometimes family takes up more time, sometimes work takes up more time. I find it helpful to keep a routine, avoid sitting down with my phone (I get lost scrolling social media), and create systems that keep things simple like decreasing clutter, meal plan ahead of time, have groceries delivered. And really, just give yourself grace…life can be crazy.
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Lower your housekeeping expectations.
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There’s a balance? I’m not supposed to be absolutely insane? Well then I am definitely doing it wrong…
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We had 3 children, 5 years apart, so, they were each involved I.
School activities
You learn what’s a “must” and what’s a “nice to do.”
Simplify as much as you can. I gave up painting my nails & long showers/baths, got my makeup routine to 3 minutes & put lipstick & mascara on in the car while waiting at traffic lights.
Also, you learn to get stuff done fast. Quick showers, toss on easy clothes, throw dinner together in a flash.
You or designated child throw wash in before you leave for school/work & switch when you get home, fold in front of the TV or after dinner w kids. Or let the wash run overnight. If you switch to dryer in the am & leave the lid/door open it won’t get moldy. Helps if you have a “delay start” button.
Kids help out with everything as does hubs. Even the 6 year old can nuke a box of mac n cheese & open a bag of salad for dinner.
Relax your cleaning standards or pay for maid service.
Fix easy dinners. Get prepped food (pre-cut produce, salad in a bag/bowl, packaged foods). Have breakfast for dinner, soup and sandwiches, semi-homemade. Muffins, toaster waffles, packaged breakfast sandwiches (or make your own & freeze) are all easy to nuke when heading out in the morning & can be eaten at the bus stop/in the car.
Cook in bulk on weekends so you just have to pull something from the fridge or freezer & nuke it for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Have versatile stuff on hand: a bag of mixed vegetables, frozen meatballs and chicken strips, cooked hamburger you can toss in recipes, a frozen Stouffers lasagne for unexpected company.
Work with other parents to share meals, carpooling to & from school/events/Scouts/games. Limit how many activities each kid can do per season unless they find alternate transportation. Kids do homework at the same time; older ones help the younger ones, you & hubs help the older ones.
Put everyone on a strict schedule so everyone gets in the habit of doing whatever needs to be done without having to think about it. If you always know what’s next it saves time, thinking and worry. Don’t forget to schedule family and one-on-one fun times with each child…
Make lists for everything and put them on the fridge or on your phone so you don’t lose track. Develop a generic grocery list of stuff you buy repeatedly so you can just check off the items you need each week & only have to add unusual items.
Open shelving, bins & drawers make it easier to clean up & put things & toys away. Do purges each season and donate/toss/hand down what’s no longer needed. Buy less stuff.
Be OK with less sleep until the kids move out.
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You may have to invest in paying for a home cleaner, I did this years ago when my boys where young. It was a chunk out of pocket but it helped.
Oh honey, you’re not alone in this. I have 3 kids, youngest is 7, and I struggle with this all the time. One thing I’ve realized is the mess and chores will still be there tomorrow, enjoy your kids. Help them with homework, go outside with them instead of running the vacuum, cuddle up and watch a movie while your dishes sit in the sink. They’re only young once, soak it up.
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I also have 4 kids and the youngest just turned 7. I was also a stay at home mom until the baby was full time school.
Take Saturday or Sunday and have everyone work on the house together for half the day or until it’s done, then enjoy your time. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be. Enjoy your family while you’re home and don’t stress what people might think. Give one or two chores to each person to do every day. My kids chores are pretty simple, my 13 year old does the dishwasher and takes the dog out. My 10 year old switches the laundry over and takes out the trash. My 8 and 7 year olds take out the recycling and sweeps and swiffers and tidies up the bathroom. I make dinner every day and put the laundry away. My husband works until late but he does whatever is left at the end of the day which is mostly outdoor chores. The house is never destroyed by Sunday when we scrub the house together since we each do little things every day that keep it maintained. Just find your balance
I only have 2 kids and I struggled. I was working 5 days and my days off I didn’t want to spend it cleaning because by bed time it wouldn’t look like I did a thing! My main thing was I made sure the kids picked up their toys, the dishes were done, and a load of laundry. I would hunker down once a month when the kids were gone and deep clean floors and toilet. Now I’m mostly stay at home mom (home 5 days teaching them and work 2 days) and I have them constantly picking up their stuff. Dishes and laundry on repeat. And since they haven’t left the house much, my floors need it bad!
I only have 1 child I work full time in the medical field and just good luck lol it’s doable but it’s HARD!
Just do the best that you can and give yourself a break sometime
Meal prepping and planning, use the crock pot, maximize your lunch hour, lower your housekeeping standards, make to-do-lists, ask for help, and don’t be so hard on yourself. Welcome back to the working world mama- there is no balance here so you just have to make due with what you have. It’s a sad reality.
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