I understand I am much older now when my kids were younger little I don’t know how but the house stayed a whole lot cleaner even though I went out and worked everyday sick sometimes seven times days a week now that I’m older and I got all the time in the world I just can’t seem to get myself up to do it a lot of these people are right more than likely depression I got to pull myself out of it too so if you figure it out find a way let me know I’m with you all the way
Get the kids involved!! Focus on keeping dishes done and have them wipe tables and counters. Have a dirty laundry hamper and clean laundry hamper. When they’re full fold the laundry, have kids put it away
So…I once heard that motivation comes from actually doing the thing. So now I literally just make myself for 20 or so mins and if I’m still not feeling it I try again later or even tomorrow. It usually works tho. Literally just stand up and pick up some toys and see how ya feel
I can’t really get myself to clean either. My fiancé has to actually send me a message of stuff to do for the day and then a few hours later he messages me a reminder to do the stuff incase I haven’t done any of it yet. Been like this my whole life. I thought being a mom would fix my problem but it didn’t. Having him message me with things to do is the only way I get stuff done… maybe if you had someone willing to message you things to do and remind you about them at least once throughout the day. Or set reminders on your phone that go off often enough throughout the day.
Getting rid of stuff so there is less to clean has helped me.
I’m in the same boat as you and you’re not alone! I don’t want to take the medicine either. Music helps motivate me and try to make yourself get in the present moment. Once you get started with the cleaning you’ll find more motivation.
Maybe have a professional come and help with the organizing/ deep cleaning to give you motivation to keep it up daily! I know another lady that obviously does daily duties but schedules herself one room a day to deep clean/ organize
Breaking thing up into smaller tasks/areas will make the job seem less daunting. Toys for example, do a big clear out and then organise.
You’ll get motivation along the way by the satisfaction you get when you’ve completed one of your tasks
Since I’ve been on depression meds, I’ve been doing much better keeping up with the house tidying. I just put on music and go. I take 6 minutes break about every 30 minutes, mainly for my back. Having people over for dinner helps cause then I’m forced to clean up lol
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Listen to Christmas music it always makes me want to clean idk why lol
If you can’t clean a room clean a corner etc… apply this to all areas of your home break down your tasks using a note book things you can do quickly and things that will take time and then choose some tasks either by looking at the list or by sight… I set an hour timer every evening and put music on once I finish work and whatever I get done gets done the rest can go on tomorrow’s list and slowly tomorrow’s list becomes smaller because its surprising how much can be done in an hour… good luck
play music, do what you can. I can get the same way but I always target high trafficked spots like bathroom and dishes. some days it can take me doing jobs periodically all day, or sometimes I get into it and get it done. then, there are some days where I just don’t and go enjoy my family.
I think I’ve spent you much time in cleaning over the yrs vs really just enjoying them. plus I’ll get the kids to help with some tasks if they’re home too.
My go to tip is, make a solid plan of what you want to get done in each room. Gather up new storage bins & organization items & have them ready.
Then dont plan anything outside the house the day you want to clean & organize. Then get a good nights sleep, get up in the morning, take a shower immediately, PUT SHOES ON (even just house slippers- for some reason it puts my mind in go mode 
), make a good strong coffee or tea, turn on some old favorite music you haven’t heard in a while, & start in the farthest corner & work your way out, one room at a time.
I start by taking curtains down & wash them, wipe baseboards & windows, dust, & put stuff away where it goes, vacuum that one room & by time im done in the room, fresh curtains ate ready to go back up & i move to the next one.
Dont sit down, look at your phone, or have people around as they are all too distracting. Just pace yourself & praise yourself! Once you get going it’s easy to keep going.
i watch clean tok (cleaning videos on tik tok) something about it makes me wana get up n do it too
Just concentrate fully on one room a day…just one… bathroom and kitchen are most important to me… but pick whatever your priority is… maybe ask someone to help you fold, hang up, put away laundry…
I have some similar issues. Number one it’s way more under controlled when I don’t bring in anything but food. All that random stuff just adds to the chaos.
It’s just something you have to do. You can’t wait for motivation, it really isn’t a thing. You just do. I checked out the audio book atomic habits from the library and that with a few other self help books and minimalism/ zero waste books have helped me immensely. I’m definitely not perfect, but I’m a lot better than I was. Once you see why you do things, and the impact it has not only on the earth but your mental health it really helped me to make certain habits a part of my daily life.
Personally, I centralise when I’m overwhelmed with a room/s…pick one n start there. I put literally everything in the middle of the room so I can wipe down surfaces then sit on the floor and sort/organise while I watch a movie on my phone or listen to a podcast. It looks worse before it gets better lol but once you start you have to finish it by the end of the day for the room to be usable. Doing it this way is my spring clean times so that literally everything gets a solid clean and reorganised properly so after that it’s only maintained with lighter duties for a while. Normally I’d go room to room over a week if I’m off work or I do it on a weekend so the family can help out. But you could do this over how ever long you need.
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If you find out, can you
let me know?
I know the feeling hun. Not easy. Hugs. We find motivation in the things we enjoy and love. . Push the rest aside. FIND YOU AGAIN!¡
TOOK me years… don’t wanna ramble. But hugs… It happens
It is a constant struggle for me. When I do tackle cleaning, I have to have music that I enjoy and can sing along with. Loudly. 
I’m on medication and in therapy but we haven’t touched on these issues yet. I just know that this is what really helps me get it done. I definitely don’t do it often enough. I tend to wait until it gets bad instead of staying on top of it so it doesn’t get bad.
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I don’t, lol
I just get angry and go
I’m the only one
If I don’t, we’ll live in sqaller
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Ever tried cleaning in the evening on a day when you and the kids are not busy? I find that if I just chill in the morning and take it easy then I get motivation to clean later. If I start taking kids here and there , then I don’t feel like doing anything.
I am so very sorry . Please consider medication. It has helped me so much . I also have a hard time doing tons of stuff as I have many health issues but I definitely know my antidepressants help me a lot !
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When I know I’m gonna have company.
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Do a little each day. There’s tons of planners online for free w daily schedule and then just maintenance after it’s sorted. If needed hire someone a professional organizer to do the bulk for u then much easier to maintain
Welcome to my world. My daughter has attention deficit disorder and autism. She is 40 and doesn’t see mess or help around the house. Add in we had to move into the house we inherited before we were able to clear it and you get mess central. Get one room, the bathroom and kitchen straight and then peck away at the mess in other rooms. Don’t try to do it all at once. Don’t feel guilty, let it overwhelm you or be ashamed of it. You can only do so much. Don’t forget to give yourself me time, even if it is just a five minute cup of coffee or staring into space. You can do this eventually. Good luck.
Sit down with your boyfriend and ask for help in drawing up a plan where “everyone” helps,what chores they can help with and enforce it……if they are old enough to help,they should, it is teaching them what is is like to be part of a family,a team, life is work. Set a time for 15. Minutes before you relax for the night……tackle 1 drawer,1 pile, 1 anything.
Also,plan your meals for the week, have kids help with set up and clean up….don’t be so hard on yourself….and if someone comes over, so be it….you are trying. Best of luck to you.
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Where do u live? I love organizing id come help you if u are close!
Meditation daily, if only for 5 minutes… helps imensley
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Hi there. Im so sorry to hear about what u going through… My story may seem minor but i recently had my helper say “i look poor” because i hadnt done actually invested in my home(buying new bedding n stuff) . Its clean but cluttered.my bedding is 8years old and worn in. But i always loved having a nice home. I got distracted with life. I started with adding some extra storage. That helped alot. Picking a room and reorganizing everything. Giving away stuff i didnt need. Im still working on it. Still working on what i want decor and space wise as it all costs money
Call it a responsibility not getting motivation… We DO our responsibilities, we try to find motivation.
Declutter. If the house can’t be kept up with a small 30 min clean there just might be to much stuff, more stuff more mess.
If the kids (and boyfriend) are old enough to make a mess they are old enough to clean a mess.
Focus on one task, set a timer 10 -15 mins and dont leave the task until the time goes off or you’re done.
Lastly, and most importantly, don’t be so hard on yourself, give yourself a break. Give yourself patience and kind words and love.
If you went to a friend’s house and they said “I’m so sorry my house is a mess, I’ve been so tired and my depression is getting worse, I just can’t keep up”, would you say “omg, that’s so gross whys is your house dirty” or would you say “it’s no big deal and I don’t care if your house is a mess, I’m here for you not to judge your cleanliness”? I suspect you’d say the 2nd because basically everyone gives more love, kindness and grace to their friends and family. It’s time to give yourself the same love you’d give anyone else. 
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You obviously aren’t functioning very well. Id start with speaking with a doctor- if meds aren’t an option- the right meds can be a huge game changer. If you haven’t already- get a counselor- nothing will get better if you don’t address the trauma/problem. The root cause of the mental illness.
You mentioned your kids being older- I’m not sure how old but there is absolutely no reason they cannot help in completing household task.
If I schedule stuff on my calendar (we are an extremely busy family)- like a deep clean- I have time to put a game plan into action- I create a list of what needs to be accomplished- I break it down into smaller areas (usually by room) and I assigned a said child or husband to that area.
Also, if you can afford it- hire a cleaner whether it’s a weekly, bi weekly, monthly or every 6 months. It takes a huge weight off of having to do a deep clean and I find it easier to keep stuff organized.
Once everything is back to where it belongs- its easier to maintain. Children need to be taught that it takes a lot to maintain a home and there isn’t anything wrong with them helping.
Time to get the boyfriend and kids on board with cleaning. My 2nd oldest is 11 (Helps w/ all chores) & my younger 2 are going to be 4 & 7 next month and they help load the dishwasher, start the washer, fold/hang up dry clothes & put away, clean their room & bathroom. Start them early so there aren’t problems later! Everyone in the home should be responsible for their own messes.
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How old are you’re kids? Maybe they can have daily chores
Following because I’m in this exact situation and I hate it 
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Please talk to your doctor about getting help.
I spend 1 hour a day doing all I can. I turn the music up and just go. I thankfully have a husband who realizes that we both live here and does just as much as me if not more. (Though I’m usually busy with baby and toddler while he does.)
I have all of my energy in the morning. I sweep, do dishes and tidy up after work during the week so my house doesn’t get really messy but i get up in the mornings on the weekend and do most of my cleaning and laundry because that’s when i know i will have the energy for it
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I download an audio book from the library. Then listen while I start picking up.
I believe it helps to set a realistic daily goal for the day and then move on. Happy with your daily accomplishments .
As I read this, it is like I could have written it. I’m in the same situation basically. I miss my house being “clean” I do my best but it just never ends. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Hope all works out for you!
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my husband does the organization and i just clean lol i know not everyone has that luxury and it took a long time as a married couple with alot of kids to find our groove. finally after 14 years i think we have become a good team but theres still always something to do… especially laundry and dishes
I just do it one day a week, my self and husband know that everything has a place!!!
I do timed spurts. 15 minute intervals.
Cleaning is not my favorite activity! I force myself to choose one task to complete and reward myself when completed. I put on upbeat music and try to dance myself through. It’s tough going, i admit…Breaking the tasks into smaller increments does help. It’s never ending unfortunately.
I raised 9 kids and my house was always so neat and tidy, now it is just me and my husband and what a mess it becomes. I have no motivation either but lately due to the basement flooding I have to get everything out of there, find room for the stuff in the garage–which is also packed full due to us moving here and the house being so small and it is overwhelming. I hate the way it makes me feel. I set small goals for myself–like organize the bathroom closet, go through all the books, empty 4 boxes, clean the bathroom, clean sheets on the bed, etc. It helps on most days.
In my house if I don’t clean it doesn’t get done. My kids help but it’s above the dad’s pay grade apparently. So my motivation is get it done because I’m tired of looking at it
What I find best for myself… is to on the weekend before make a short list for each day of the coming week of things I want to get done. Something about checking off a task and seeing it on paper, helps me out. Start small… maybe 1 or 2 things per day to accomplish and go from there. I would also just start with one area of the house to focus on. Ex… Kitchen… Monday- organize Tupperware and medicine cabinet Tuesday—organize under kitchen sink and cups/glasses/plates/utensils Wednesday—organize junk drawers Thursday— clean refrigerator and oven Friday—clear off counters and sweep/mop kitchen floor.
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I live alone so you would think I should have a “good housekeeping” looking home. Well, I don’t. I recently have just started cleaning something extra… something more than I have “messed up”. Hoping this, along with getting rid of things I no longer need or love, will soon have me spic n span again.
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Get your boyfriend to help with the cleaning. If there are things you don’t use have a garage sale or donate to red cross, goodwill, or a church group. Have the kids keep there room clean.
Dedicate 15 minutes per day to tackle an area. It doesn’t take much time, just consistency
I try to do one “extra” thing a day. I can’t do it all at once. I saw someone said to peck away at it. I think it’s the same concept. It won’t all be done at once, but if you just do ONE thing extra every day, you’ll eventually have a tidy room.
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I dont I just do it cause I have to I complain the whole time haha
I used to practically spring clean every Friday. After losing a child & having the daughter move away, l seem to lose interest My husband is wonderful to help with anything but l think that not having family dinners & such has caused me to be depressed much of the time. Friends dont make time for friends much anymore.
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One room at a time!! Do not stress over mess!! Always have get well soon cards available! If u get visitors and have a $#it tip pop them up ! Xx
I own a cleaning service mom of 5 grown kids.my youngest is 17.dont beat yourself up.my house has become cluttered disorganized and overwhelming as we have been focusing on the bussiness.if you can afford to hire a service(usually 2 hr min I would atleast once.youd be surprised what we can get done in just that amount of time.if you can’t call a close friend or sister and ask for help.usually you can keep up momentum better with an extra person.your house may be the cause of your depression or a result of depression mental health does play a role in it.eather way sounds like your holding your own in the basics if dishes are done.get up and make your bed every morn.before anything else.you won’t want to mess it up staying in bed and that completed task will lead to another one.
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Company expected, vet tired of mess
Focus on one room a day. If you are feeling down, maybe consider talking to your doctor? I found that antidepressants really helped me feel motivated and energized once again.
Get your kids to help. Even young kids can fold socks and towels, put clothes in a front load washer, take clothes out of the dryer, sweep, clean the toilet/tub, etc.
Get off your phone and the TV and turn on some music! Just pick one small thing to start with. Then you won’t be overwhelmed. Hire someone to help you if you can, it can be super motivational.
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