How do you get over being cheated on?

How do you get thru being cheated on by your husband. I dont know what to do. I feel bad because im bout to be moving without him and my son is obviously staying with me because hes not a good parent but the reason i feel bad is because my son is almost 11 months old and loves his dad but hes not gunna be around him everyday anymore. Hes with his dad every day and i want him to still get to see him every day while im at work but he said hes not watching him if we arnt living together. I feel so bad

19 Likes

He is trying to control the situation. No real man would say I’m not helping take care of my kid during the day if we are not together. Run girl. He should be the one feeling bad. Do not let him manipulate the situation

33 Likes

So basically he’s saying he only wants to be a parent and love your son if he can control you. That’s not a good father, that’s someone who is a manipulator and uses a child as collateral to get what he wants. Leave while you can and be thankful you didn’t have anymore kids with him.

27 Likes

He knows he can’t control you anymore. Best you’re leaving. Be glad your son won’t be with a parent who doesn’t want to be a parent.

6 Likes

I went through this with my baby daddy. Anytime I tried to leave he would do the whole “I’m not helping with the kids, don’t call me ect if we aren’t together”. I stayed for 8 years because I didn’t understand at the time. We’ve been separated for 4 years, he went to rehab for 2 of those 4, when he got out, he stayed in the town he went to rehab in, doesn’t hardly see the kids and I had to take him to court just for him to help with the kids. Trust me, it is better to leave him behind and don’t deal with him at all

2 Likes

A good father doesn’t abuse the mother of his child. PERIOD!

8 Likes

Your STBXH is responsible for fostering the relationship ship with his child. Since you’re being supportive of that relationship and he’s saying no he’s the one to blame here. And you don’t get over cheating. He has to do some really hard work to uncover why he’s so broken inside, heal himself and then start the rebuilding process for the relationship ship that he broke. It can take years to properly work through it. If he doesn’t want to put in the effort then there’s no point. Move on to a better life for you and the little one. Don’t let him drag you down.

2 Likes

Feel bad for yourself and your son. He didn’t just cheat on you, he betrayed his family. Wave goodbye.

1 Like

Sometimes you don’t and you leave.

1 Like

He’ll change his mind,if not his loss

Sorry you’re going through this. You’re obviously young, and so is your son. Start over knowing you can do better. Don’t bad mouth your ex in front of your son, and know that there’s a guy out there that’s going to think you are the greatest thing to ever happen to him.

2 Likes

Man, that whole “he’s not watching him if we’re not together” thing burns me up. Mfr you are a parent, not a babysitter. Throw the whole man away, there’s nothing worth feeling guilty over here.

3 Likes

He wants to control you. Hence he won’t watch his son unless you live together that is also using your kid as a weapon

1 Like

First you need to go to court and get custody
Second you file for child support
Third depending on how long you been married file for alimony
Fourth ask for supervised visitation

1 Like

Speaks for itself, if he is saying he’s not watching his child if you are going to stay then why should you feel any guilt . He is showing you what he is . Get your child away from him .

3 Likes

He’s a pig and putting your child in the middle. BYE

1 Like

Hes manipulating you “im not watching him if we’re not together” thats messed up, he is using thr baby as a pawn to manipulate and control you. He is not remorseful or sorry. Dont buy into the manipulation.

5 Likes

That’s pretty toxic of him. He’s not going to parent if you’re not with him? Sounds like manipulation to me.

7 Likes

Seems like the POS hubby is putting this side chic more important than his own, and if he doesn’t pay attention to his own son now at 11 months I’m sure he probably wouldn’t bother later on either. Can’t change nor force someone to love and put their own family first if they didn’t bother to do from the get go, do yourself a favor and leave, BTW cheaters don’t change over night nor next week, or next month. If I was in your shoes I wouldn’t take him back either. I’d be better off

2 Likes

You have absolutely nothing to feel bad about mama! And what kind of father says he doesn’t want to watch his own damn son? This man is not cut out to be a father and the sooner you get that kid away from him the better because you do not need a man like that teaching your son what it is to be a man because clearly your husband is not one. 

He should feel bad for failing his family, not you

8 Likes

It’s not your fault if HE doesn’t want anything to do with your son. He’s mad that he got caught and you won’t put up with it. He’s now trying to take it out on both of you. That’s not yours to own!

Don’t let him.

9 Likes

i’d heavily suggest you go to court to set up child support and custody and visitation cause if he’s saying he won’t spend time with his son cause y’all aren’t living together then he’s not gonna help you financially either.
As far as getting over the cheating, it’s gonna take time and there’s not a time frame on how long it will take.

7 Likes

Remember…there is NOTHING wrong with you. There was everything wrong with him. Consider this a blessing. Take time to heal and move forward. There’s better out there for you.

4 Likes

Why insist on your husband seeing the child if he’s not interested ? The boy is very young and will get over it not seeing him. Better to be safe than sorry. Have him pay child support so the boy can have a better life

9 Likes

He cheated on you… in your words, he’s not a good dad… I’m sorry, but what was the question? Sounds like the trash took itself out :unamused:

He will get away with what you put up with…

8 Likes

Move on, get your child support and hope he grows up

That’s on him. If he wants to ruin his marriage AND his relationship with his kid, so be it. Hope the side hoe was worth it all

4 Likes

Leave an don’t look back he won’t change I have been there

6 Likes

Move on your son is too young to remember right now

6 Likes

I think you have your answer. He is a terrible partner and an even worse father…why would you want to stay???

Sorry but cheating is where I draw the line…if he does it once he’ll do it again. Not only that but he’s broken all trust and that’s very hard to get back. If he says he won’t look after his own child so be it kids are very resilient and they get over these things. What, it’s okay to cheat and there be no consequences, I think not…

When he says stuff like that it is called manipulation.

1 Like

So why is he punishing his child for his stupid mistakes. It will Take a awhile for you to get through it especially you have a child with him. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Take one step at a time. Wish you and your son the best.

You don’t get over it. You move on and do what’s best for you and your son. When the time is right, you’ll meet a man who will treat you and that baby the way you both deserve and you’ll never have to question it.

That is what’s being called an emotional hostage. Your ex is responsible for his relationship with his child. I understand the guilt but please try to keep in mind that 1, you said he is not a good parent. That leads me to believe that leaving the child with him during the day may be questionable. 2, You are being what a parent should be by keeping yourself secure and emotionally stronger without him, and therefore able to be a parent your child can count on. It’s a hard situation but hold your ground. I would strongly recommend a child support order be put in place. That protects both you and your child and keeps things very clean in more than just the financial department.

He is playing you. Move on.