I’ve been in an 11-year relationship with a pathological liar. Even the smallest things he lies about. I’ve invested so many years and three kids later I don’t know what to think anymore. It’s easier said than done to just leave. We are very intimate and say he will always be in love with me, but clearly, his actions don’t prove it: mind games, lies, neglect, mental abuse. Anyone have advice or wise words to get me through these hard times? Xo
How r u very intimate with him if u said theres mental abuse and neglect:thinking:
He has a psychological problem and no sense of control
U gave him way too many yrs of ur life
I really don see how u handled that all these yrs
If u want to leave
Make sure u process it in court so u can get majority of parenting time
He won’t change so you have to. No one should have to tolerate verbal abuse…intimacy is the least thing you should worry about
WALK AWAY. You’ve wasted enough years already.
I was in one for 10 years yes and kid and yes it was hard to walk away but also now the best decision I ever made and now I am in a loving relationship and it is amazing it took 3 years of being alone but in that time I found myself again and knew I would not settle for less than I deserved
You waited 11 years and he still hasn’t changed. He doesn’t live you if he treats you that way
You handle it by leaving the relationship. Trust is integral in a relationship and they have beyond proven they are unable to be trustworthy.
Leave or check his ass … He only treats you the way you allow him to
One question. Can you take 11 more years of this?
You have to leave. My ex husband was a pathological liar and a narcissist. He told me he was never married before… come to find out, I was his 4th ex wife
He will continue to lie and treat you badly due to you allowing it. You need to leave simple as that and i damn sure aint intimate with anyone who lies
Sounds like he has narcissistic tendencies as well. Honestly, I wouldn’t stay if I were you.
I can relate I’m going through the same thing and have been for about 4 yrs now . I just keep thinking that we have gotten so far or have made some improvement in the relationship or … like he is finally getting into the idea of our relationship our family , as soon as he turns and walks away he becomes that lying , cheating , bitch I don’t know you piece of shit. No matter how well we connect in the bedroom or as parents or as a man and woman I’m never enough to make him someone he isn’t, a real man . It’s nothing I’m doing wrong or aren’t doing it’s just who he is and I’ve realized that but last night he really really made me see that he mean and really there is nobody home he is an empty shell . I know I don’t need that or anyone else I need to repair the damages and lick my wounds and realize that I am a beautiful person and feeling like the one I love is not to be trusted or like he will make a fool out of me as usual and none of his friends are going to say anything to him ,or me about it even.if I ask… and like I’m not good enough or he would rather make me think that I’m crazy or doubt my natural gift of flash image visions by lying no none of that is good . It only gets worse because there is nobody home he is an empty shell. You deserve the truth just as much as I or anyone else does always . Take care be strong trust your instincts.
How are you going to pretty much say your miserable but dont want to leave? If your so miserable you need to leave for your kids sake not just your own …what kind of question is this? Just to get a bunch of comments c’mon now
I wouldn’t, that isnone thing I will not tolerate PERIOD!
If your partner cannot be honest with you then in my opinion s/he is not worth having around .
The best way to handle it is to leave!! Do it now. They don’t change and the lies just get worse and worse. I’ve been through it. He ended up getting abusive both emotionally and physically and that’s when I realized I was an idiot for not leaving sooner. I let myself be a victim when I knew better all along. Run now!!
Yhea get out it only gets worse
The longer you stay, the worse it gets and your kids will learn this too.
Leave. I wasted 12 years with two kids it ended with cheating. You deserve better and so do your kids.
Not healthy for you or your kids…make the leap…it will be hard but you need to be strong
It sounds like he has some psychological disturbances causing him to lie. It is time to not only seek individual counseling but also marriage and family counseling. Counseling can help him as well as you to overcome trust issues associated with the lies and enable you to assist him as he grows past this.
He ain’t changing hello! He’s proved it well over the 11 years you guys tried it. Move on…
Don’t believe a word he says
This sounds like my ex, and honestly if you’ve gone through 11 years of it already it’s not going to change. You have to be the change in your life, sometimes you need to know when to walk away. Because I don’t think you’re ever going to find the happiness you deserve with somebody who has narcissistic tendencies.
They don’t change. Trust me. And everyone deserves better then that. Does he accuse u of what he does? I’ve experienced that alot
Honey leave it’s not good for you,or the kids
Easy-leave. You deserve better than that. You need to believe that yourself. Or have him seek counseling
Mimic the behavior he’s shown to you very brazenly, some experiences need too be felt too learn how it affects all parties involved
He has you lying too. Not good…move on.
The only thing worse than 11 years of no change and dedication…is 11 years and one day
I was with one and nothing ever changed. He’s still the same way even after 5 years. Glad I’m out of that.
Common Sense. Leave. Take Care Of Yourself And Your Children!!!
Get out… It’s hard but its abuse… Your kids need normality in their lives and so do you
Yes you have invested a lot and he won’t change. It’s better to leave and I know it will be hard but it’s for your happiness.
Its all good and well to Love someone so much…but you dont have to like what they do you have to live with the psychological and emotional abuse…trust me when i say this…YOU are NOT ALONE in this…you are not the first woman to feel this way about leaving…but that is what lies and deception does to you. LEAVE NOW before it does more damage…people who are like him are capable of anything and its going to affect your family the most…this includes yourself!
repeat after me " you lie all the time I’m over it so I will too, YOUT PENIS IS HUGE *insert wink"
Clearly you dont learn… 11 years. the answer is you don’t. Wow.
It’s been 11 years? Why is this a deal breaker now?? If you are intimate conversation wise talk to him- see if you can figure out why the lying compulsion. If you mean just physically then you are most likely in a chemical romance and you are allowing the sex to cover up or forgive the other obvious behaviors you truly don’t like. If that’s the case you have to stop banging it out and get away. No sex the hormonal chemicals are clouding your mind. Once the oxytocin mellows out then you can objectively see what is in front of you. You have to trust your gut and do right by your kids. Good luck
You leave. I spent 10 years with one. Life has been so much better since. Get an amazing attorney and don’t look back.
Actions speak louder than words! Just because hes intimate with you doesn’t mean hes in love with you. I’m sorry, I’m sure this is a stressful situation for you.
U need to leave n u r not happy as a mother can be for kids! U can do it alone w/yr kids…thngs will change for u n yr kids! Hv faith n believe in yrself…God! U’ll be a happy person n njoy life n be wrong no time! Do it for yourself n yr kids!
Get out now. Your kids don’t need to think it’s ok to lie
Only you can make the right decision for yourself. Do you think going through all that is worth the hassle if not if you leave maybe your life will be a lot better than dealing with a compulsive liar
Leave. I dealt with it personally and I have 3 beautiful children. We came out stronger together.