How do you handle birthday parties with both sides of the family?

What do you all do about birthdays if both sides of the family are involved in your child’s life? Do you do mom’s side on one day and dad’s side another or tell them all to put their differences aside and do a combined party?

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If they can’t put their differences aside for the child then they need not be present. That choice is up to them.
It’s absolutely ridiculous to cater to adults that act like children, when they should be caring about one thing and one thing only… the actual child on their birthday!


There is no blanket answer for this. It’s literally up to each family and what they prefer.

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I agree that adults should be able to put their differences aside but that is not always possible. If the drama that will ensue is bad enough that you’re worried about it probably do 2 different parties. I always had to have one with each different side of my family and even to this day we split holidays. Morning with one family afternoon with the other.

Which is also another option. Have both parties at the same place (ie: your house or a park) and do one in the early afternoon and one around dinner. Cupcakes or cookies for the first and cake for the second.

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1 party - if adults can’t get along and put their differnce aside they shouldn’t come! It’s about the grandchildren plain and simple!


I’ve dealt with this for 8 years now. It never gets easier.
Do one party and have it where it’s convenient for you not for them. If they don’t like they don’t have to go.


One party where convenient for you. I am doing this now. My ex holds a grudge but also holds his tongue. We get along for the kids and grand kids.

You just have a party. If they show up, they show up.

We have only had a few parties that involved both families. It is/was 1 party. If they don’t come that’s on them :woman_shrugging:t3: The important ones ALWAYS show :sparkling_heart:

One party, if they can’t be civil for a few hours for the sake of the child then they don’t need to be involved

1 party, if they come they come if they don’t they don’t.