I have been talking with her about what will happen as her body changes and her period that will come.
My question is, how did you all introduce this and how did you make them comfortable with the changes that happen?
She is the oldest of 3 and doesn’t want these changes because her siblings are not having to go through them yet.
What special things have you done to make them feel empowered during these changes?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you help girls feel comfortable with puberty changes?
Following my oldest is 11… she just recently started her period. I explained an Xtra outfit an what not for school but I still called school councler to give her heads up with out my daughter being embarrassed… my thing now is when do u teach them to shave?
My parents got me American girl books that explained it
My oldest is 14 and then I have a daughter that is 10 and a half. I feel like my youngest daughter will be an early bloomer, unfortunately we already had the “shave arm pits” talk and lesson. My oldest was late bloomer (moms sense these things sometimes) I started period talks with her about 9 yrs old and I made her a female “goody bag” that fits into her backpack with always teen pads atleast 5 of those, an extra pair of undies and pants/shorts. And told her to keep a hoody/sweatshirt with her so if she feels like it happens in class or anywhere but home she won’t be so embarrassed, and also to just call mom and I will be right there asap. She is very shy and embarrassed about things like this but this has worked very well for us here. I plan to do the same with 2nd daughter, also plan (at appropriate age) to teach my 6yr old son about females and menstrual and all of that so that if he notices something with a class mate he can discretely let her know.
Mine is 11 she has had regular cycles for about a year now - we went to the store and purchased different types of pads (haven’t introduced tampons yet), I purchased vaginal wash that she uses just when she is on her menstrual, we also went and bought new panties, all the old ones went in a basket for just menstrual undies. We talked about how it is natural for girls to have a menstrual, don’t be embarrassed. Some start young some start when they’re older. We talked about if it starts at school we always have a change of undies in our book bag and never be scared to ask a teacher for a pad.
Just be matter of fact about it. Straight forward is the easiest to understand. And don’t be all weird about it. I started talking to my daughters at a very early age, because they noticed when I had my period because they were in the bathroom with me. I explained to them that nothing was wrong & that is how a woman’s body works. That my body was preparing for the possibility that I might have a baby. That started the talks. And it then transformed into how animals have babies. They got to witness 2 rabbits doing their thing & the end result was the adorable baby bunnies. Great experience for children learning about what it means to be a parent. All of this talk led up to the talk about having your period for the first time. So it wasn’t a surprise when it happened. Once my oldest started her first cycle, I explained what she would be going thru more in depth. How to handle it. And yes, prepared her with a goodie bag to take with her in her backpack. I also told her that if she gets cramping she can call me on her cell phone & I’ll come & get her. Also give Children’s Motrin to the school nurse so she can take it when she’s in pain. Overall, make sure she knows she completely supported & doesn’t need to feel shy about telling me what’s going on. That the door is always open.
Explain first give it some time to process, then show her when you have it😜 taking a bath or using the bathroom.
My 10 yr old is getting hair under her arm pits i know it’s getting close time for her to be starting her period
Sit down and have a chat, maybe get a little bag for her with change of undies, pads etc for when it does come. Ive heard there are also books you can buy
I personally don’t have kids but starting my period was traumatizing for me, I don’t really know why. I kept screaming “I DON’T WANT TO GROW UP!!!” It’s funny now but it really sucked then lol.
I wish I had a book like this back in the day to help me understand because I was mortified by all of it and completely embarrassed and never wanted to talk about any of it.
However, with all of that being said it’s now been 20 years and I still hate it lol but it’s not as traumatizing as I thought. I would let her know it completely natural, it does not at all make her gross, all girls go through it and it’s normal.
Take her on a pampering day (maybe not the same exact day she starts, let her get used to that for the week but get ice cream and chocolate lol) get her hair and nails done go clothing shopping get EXTRA undies. Make it a fun experience, I mean as fan as it can be lol but I think above all else remind her this doesn’t change who she is and she’s still a kid she can still love her teddy bears and coloring book she can still play with her toys she just has to go to the bathroom a little more often. I would also get her different kinds of pads so she can see which ones she prefers better. Show her over your clothes while sitting down how to put a pad in the right spot on the undies, I didn’t have anyone to show me and I struggled for years lol kept getting them to far forward . There are also period apps that will track when your next period will come, I use “my days” it has been accurate for over 10 years. It might not track perfectly in the beginning just cause it needs to get personalized patterns and if I remember correctly you’re not that regular in the beginning.
One more thing, just a quick reminder. Remember her hormones are gonna be completely out of whack she’s going to get angry/moody/sad/sassy and not know why or how to fix it try to be patient with her they will balance out…eventually…
This is a special time for our Granddaughters go through .When these changes come we prepare our young granddaughters for life changes that will come forth in their lives…We stay with them as all females in the family grandma’s , aunties , mom’s , Godmother’s…they go through endurance for four days. They ran every morning, they finish their outfits their gonna wear at the last day which is in the fourth day … Everyone helps her prepare in life teaching, values , role modeling, peers , siblings , how she will prepare in values of what comes as she is gonna be a young woman …Cooking a feast of healthy foods , no sugar, no sodas , only foods that her ancestors cooked many years ago, her great grandmother’s teaching is bestowed upon her …she has been stretched by her female relatives that now she is a graceful young woman , only words of good wisdom will be her Language…She comes forth in her regalia of beautiful outfit that her ancestors have worn 100 years ago…in beautiful satin and beautiful beadwork that adorns her …
The care and keeping of you, book and journal set on Amazon. They have it for tweens and teens.
My mom gave me a book about puberty and human body when I got to that point so that if I wasn’t comfortable asking her about something I had the option to look in the book. “The talk” can be weird and I was happy I could turn to the book for some questions. But anything she asks or what’s to know be honest and educate with the facts, no sugar coating or skipping corners.
Don’t over think it. Be kind, understanding, supportive and communicate with your daughter about everything that’s about to happen. For example:
When my oldest was 10.5 I went & bought some pads. I sat with her in the bathroom with a pair of underwear over her clothes and showed her how to use the pad, how to throw it way. I also showed her how to shave her legs. We did it together so she was comfortable doing it. She’s 12 now and just started shaving her arm pits. Being honest & direct about what was going to start happening while showing her what to do during this time & talking her through everything that may happen & what to do if it does happen has made it to where my oldest is very open and honest with me about any issues that may arise. I still have to do this same process with my youngest daughter.
In case no one has ever been told. A girl starts her period roughly 2 years after her breast buds start to develop ( per my kids pediatrician).
I was an early puberty child, books helped me a lot! I’m only 22 so not that long ago lol
Usborne doing a grown up book for girls. Talks about body changes, moods, hygiene, mental health and lots more.
I went to the doctor and he explained me with a book. Also my mom had a chat with me. In my case I was 14. Almost the last in my class to have my period so I was really happy . But I know is hard for a girl who’s younger… you’re still a child. But she ll get used to it. Don’t worry. Just make her feel confident and safe.
I put together a small zip bag for my daughter to carry in her back pack and purse, we practiced what to do when the time came, period underwear are a must, if she has a phone down load the app and teach her to track her cycle. The app is a life saver it allowed her to feel empowered because she has a tool to help prepare her for when it’s coming.
Be open and honest with her and allow her to ask as many questions as possible the more open the more she will come and talk with you. Also a good skin care routine is best to start now to help her skin and less break outs once it starts
Well you really don’t need to say to much, mainly just describe what happens inside when she gets her period as uterine liner is shed because there was no baby that month… you just period stuff. When the body follows she will probly come to you, don’t embarrass her.
Just be honest and tell her that she will become a lady soon and that she will bleed down there but it’s nothing to worry about and it’s completely normal. Show her the pads and how to use them then give her a little pack with pads, spare underwear etc to keep in her school bag and even put a couple of lollies in there for her. Tell her it’s nothing to be embarrassed about and come to talk to you whenever she wants
I bought my daughters each a special necklace welcoming them into womanhood.
My eldest is 11 and has had her cycle for 5 months now I bought her the girl stuff book to read through had a talk with her explaining the changes made her a devil pack with pads spare undies scented bags to keep in her school bag she’s been doing really well has been very confident and accepting its completely normal she’s also has friends at school experiencing the same things
When my girls first got there’s I built them each a gift basket, two different types of pads, wipes to clean up with, midol, several different things chocolate and a heating pad. Other wise we just discussed what to expect and what to keep an eye on. Of course they tell me when it starts so I can keep track. Which ended up being a good thing because my oldest would only get it once a year since she was 10, but then it stopped all together for 2 yrs, she started freaking out feeling like she was broken. Went to the doctor an learned she has PCOS.
Gotta be open so they feel open with you. just prepare ahead of time with the conversations. My 12 year old started last year at 11 and my 10 year has hair its normal to get that before they start she hasn’t yet no rush lol I have 4 girls better to start early . Mine would never leave me alone so eventually as gurls they learned cause i eventually had to explain it to them . You know having 4 girls a mom cant even pee by herself fml
When she gets a period make it a happy occasion, not luke some sort of inpending doom. Some people give presents and have a cake for a first period just so it doesn’t seem like a horrible thing
tell her this is what happens when your about to become a teenager hence 10 Preteen
Am i the only one that never hid this from there children mine know about it since a very young age I never ever hid if I was my period and I always made it normal for them as it is a normal thing for girl to do so when my 15 yr old started bk when she was never scared and was like or mum I think my period started and was like well let go get u some stuff it really nothing to be ashamed of all girls go thru it just be honest with her as it natural
They take it unbelievably well, my daughter was 9 when she got her period, she’s 10 and a half now and she’s very use to it.
Sounds silly but American girl has a book for pre teen girls explaining puberty and so forth: my mom never wanted to have the conversation with me so book was what was best for me, in the end I’m glad because I never wanted to have that direct conversation with her either. But atleast knowing I could go to her with any personal questions I had was most important along with the book.
I got this from Amazon and it goes through all of the details between hormones, how to do pads/tampons and has LOTS of body positivity!
These are two books I got my daughter. As well as a small bag / wipe case with necessities. Like deodorant, and pads.
Celebrate Your Body (and Its… https://www.amazon.com/dp/164152166X?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I put together a purse with the bits to talk to school.
When they got it l gave each of my girls a ladybug to welcome them to ladyhood
I think she feels your anxiety… relax… it’s no big deal. It happens and you take it one day at a time…
Brittany Wolf Leighton
I got a “this is what will happen so deal with it” talk…but that was my families approach to everything. Just deal. It’s not like we have a choice. Periods aren’t empowering they are miserable. But we are also really open with it. No one cared if you walked into the room and announced you were bleeding like a stuck pig. Dad was go e a lot with work so it was usually just 3 girls and mom.
She’s 10 she could not get it until she’s 14 or 15 everyone is different. I wouldn’t use the word empowered. I’m in my early 30’s and there is nothing empowering about bleeding.
Exactly what you have been doing, talking to her about it.
I’m getting ready to talk to my 10 year old twin girls about this.
I’m going to talk to them each separately because one of them has autism and the other doesn’t so the conversation will be modified for each of them but still let them know what they need to know.
They also know that they can always come to me with anything.
I bought this book for my daughter and we sat down and read it together… and whatever questions she had I answered… plus I asked my mom for some advice…
I have been very open with my girls my oldest is 11 and she is prepared for what’s coming. We are so open about it in our household that even my boys know what a period is and know not to ever make fun of a girl if they have an accident. They are told take off their hoodie and offer it to the female
There are many books made for teens. Also get the essentials ahead of time
Let her redo her room big girl looking(pick her comforter, new wall decor, paint color for walls,redo it together), buy her a girly bag and put wipes, pads, tampons, her own brush to put in, and some hair bows start sending a extra pair of black leggings with pair of panties to school with her in back pack so when she starts!
I think you have a good start, I was in the dark completely and never talked to about it.
Having a kit, extra underwear, tampons, pads, wipes, Tylenol, in a fun bag in her back pack, the car, sports bag. I feel like there is never Enough places for these things.
I have heard of period parties.
I know I was. Always so anxious about it, and I hate how I never knew when mine was coming. What helped me as an adult was tracking mine on an app and has helped my younger sisters as well.
Girly box with all different size pads, a cute stuffed animal heating pad & maybe a regular one too, chocolate, comfy jammies, period undies vs/pink ones are amazing btw, black undies, maybe a gift card to her fav store or for a fav game, and a free day off school card!
4th/5th grade schools will also teach about all of this so her friends will also be in the same boat and once they all start talking about it with each other they will feel more comfy too
It could be years before it happens…I’d say relax and stop being anxious about it and pushing it she feels it and is now probably terrified. Talk about it when it actually happens
Just be open about it, explain to her what’s ahead, prepare panty liners and pads etc, the more you make it a big spectacle, then it makes them scared… my oldest is 13 and when it finally came to her first period, she was shocked, called me from school because she was like omg… but ever since that day, there is no shame in it… its natural… it is what it is, u just gotta be cool with it, like it’s not a big deal… cause it’s really not haha more, welcome to being a woman…
I got this book for my daughter and we talk openly about the female body and changes. She really loved the book and there is a second one for teenage years too!!
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition (American Girl Library) Amazon.com
Not going through it yet, but ever since I could I’ve brought my daughter in the bathroom when I’m on my period. She’s 7 and knows what it is and that woman get it. When I’m changing my pad, I show her how and tell her how often. I don’t want it to just randomly happen at school and she not know what to do. I don’t make it scary so she’s fine with it happening. That’s how my mom taught me and I was prepared at 10 when I started my period.
My daughter is ten also I bought a book off Amazon called American girl and make sure it’s the younger girl one and then I went and picked her out a period baggie. Got a cute like make up bag and put wipes, a ziplock bag with clean undies, pads, and piece of candy in there for her so she can carry it at school and not be worried or embarrassed. She loved it.
Get her a personal kit with everything young ladies will need .
I explained to my girls all of the changes, what to expect, and how to stay prepared. Then I took them shopping. Bought an assortment of pads, midol, heating pad, feminine washes and sprays, underwear, a purse for travel to carry extra underwear and a pair of leggings, pads, feminine wipes. They loved the idea of being prepared with their purse when it happened.
All you can do is provide information and facts. Answer any questions and remind her that everyone gets a period. Also, don’t forget about hygiene and care. Offer options. Good luck.
My mom got a gift basket for me, I did the same for my daughter when she started. Cozy items, fuzzy socks, blanket, chocolate, a stuffed animal, bath bombs, plus the pads and midol.
I only have boys-but what my mother did for me was all prior to having my period, my mom took me “period party” shopping. She made a little a box full of shelf stable snacks and a couple things I might crave, I got to pick out my “period panties” too, she got me a cute little wristlet bag and filled it with pads, pamprin/mydol that fit in my backpack discretely that I could take with me to the restroom, it also had a spare change of panties in a ziplock bag just in case I started at school or somewhere other than home, I had somewhere and something to keep them in until I was able to get home. She bought me my very own heating pad to ease the cramps and then it was just a waiting game. Being prepared for it is the best thing you can do to make her feel comfortable, talk about it often and make it normal in your household including dad too. I have all boys, my husband and I have normalized periods in my home because I get them and I want my kids to understand that just because they don’t have to deal with them. the women in their lives will. Periods are normal and need to be treated as such. Good luck, i know they suck.
I made her a little period bag. Used a pretty make up bag, put new panties, a couple pads, and had her carry this in case she started at school. Just be really open so nothing comes as a surprise to her.
My mom gave me the what to expect talk at 9. I started a month before I turned 13. When it happened I was just like “uh mom, come here. I think I started”. She said yep & showed me how to put on a pad. We went to Walmart to get pads & she told me the details about when to change & whatnot & that was it. We didn’t make a big deal & I didn’t freak out
Okay, apparently we have some immature females here who find this post for advice humorous for some reason… grow up.
Your doing good already as a mom.
My daughter is 9. Oldest of 3… I had the talk with her about changes with help from her lady Dr. So there wasn’t any confusion… explained that every girl goes threw it at a certain age. Boys go threw some thing different. I plan to have a lot of girlly items for her to help her relize it’s not a bad thing it’s something it’s just turning u into a young lady!
Have the talk. Find videos about it on YouTube, there are a ton. Make sure to explain why it’s happening. I have a teenager who is turning 16 this year and still doesn’t have her period… so it could be a long way off. Breast development and hair usually come before that tho, and those have purposes too. Make sure your daughter knows she won’t be the only one going through this and that boys go through puberty as well!
Love the little bag idea. Make sure you have a heating pad. Do a girls date with you and her
I would definitely discuss the basics of sex Ed, about her mental health and how her hormones can mess with her emotions, and make sure she knows how to insert tampons or have pads ready for her, or you can use those fflex disc from target (they help with cramps). Like others said, it could be awhile until any of this happens, but its an awesome that you are going to explain it to her so she is prepared. When it does happen, take her out to get some of her cravings and explain that it’s just something that happens. I would just make it a time for her to really take care of herself and get face mask, fun things…I would just give her the basics and leave it alone until it actually happens
My mom left it up to family life in school to explain everything… I won’t do that to my girls. My oldest is 7 and I know the puberty talk is coming up. I found a cute book and I’ll be making her a little bag. She’s homeschooled so atleast there’s no worrying about kids at school picking on her. Shes just starting to get boobs and I know the hair will follow and then probably the period. I’m actually more worried about the talk with my Boyd than the girls lol
My mom took me to get my ears pierced on my day of my first period it was amazing and made me stop crying and really is the part I remember looking back now
We learned all that in health class at school. Don’t they do that anymore?
Honestly my daughter just knew what to do, I guess it depends on the child, I would agree to have “supplies” available, my daughter didn’t tell me right away, the next day she was just like “I used one of your tampons” like it was no big deal