Just curious what other parents do as techniques to help their child get over whatever they may be having a fit about…
5 Likes
Count to 10 breathe and a hug
1 Like
I put my son in another room and walk away. I tell him that we can talk when he’s not crying anymore. It takes the drama out of the tantrum when you’re not there to participate.
5 Likes
Tell them you’ll be ignoring them until they stop and stick to it. Walk away, don’t engage (unless it becomes harmful). The 
is consistency. When they are done hug them and tell them u love them and explain that that mess is unecessary.
1 Like
I tell my kids that I can’t understand them when they’re crying and upset. If they don’t calm down within a few minutes, I send them (or take them) to their room and tell them that they can come out when they’re done. After they’ve had time to calm down, explain that they need to use their words when they want or need something and that they can tell me about whatever is bothering them. I also have a calming corner for them. Just a small space with a few sensory toys, nature sounds, and a comfortable place to relax.
4 Likes
Ignore it. When they see it’s not making you upset they stop
One of my children I threw a bigger tantrum, they got to laughing so hard they forgot what they were throwing a fit about.
2 Likes
I used to have a bottle of this specific essential oil I heard helped with adhd kids so everytime he got upset I’d get the bottle and hold it up to his nose and he’d breathe in deep a few times and count in between breaths. It calmed him real quick… I ended up getting him his own oil diffuser necklace so he could do it on his own as he got older
1 Like
I let them throw it. They get over it. 
1 Like
Ask them why they’re mad. Tell them to tell you why they’re mad even if you already know. let them know it’s okay to be mad or upset but they also need to communicate on why and if they’re mad at you let them know it’s okay to say-mom I’m mad at you because you did…so many people are quick to punish their kids for having a bad day but forget we as adults have bad days and bad moods too. You ever seen an adult throw a total fit when they’re told no? That is what you don’t wanna raise. Encourage them to speak about their feelings.
8 Likes
Ignore it and walk away.
If in store pick the kid up n leave store
Depends on thier age.
My 2 yr old has meltdowns that sometimes she can’t seem to control. She has a shopkins cookie pillow and when she hits that point of no return I ask her if she wants to yell at cookie? I will go first and put my face into the pillow and scream out what is frustrating me… she then takes her turn. After about 2-3 turns each we both walk out of the room giggling at how silly it is.
3 Likes
My 4 year old autistic child throws tantrums constantly. We sit him on the couch until he cools down.
I just say I understand you are (upset, angry, frustrated, etc) and I’m sorry you feel that way. I love you. Let’s talk when you calm down. And then I walk away and ignore the behavior.
2 Likes
Children are human too. They have a right to be angry and upset. Let him/her have their tantrum, then get down to their level and talk.
Why are you upset?
Why are you angry?
Can you tell me what’s wrong?
What can I do to help you feel better?
Ignoring children or yelling at them does not help. How would you feel if someone yelled at you while you were upset or shut you in another room.
Children cant communicate as well as us so we need to stop and think 
how can I help my child over come this? How can we do things differently? Children speak through emotion. Listen to your child 
5 Likes
There’s counting exercises. Sometimes, I just let my 3 year old run off and just pout and wait for her to come back in a better mood. Its hard to do that when you’re out though. Eventually they stop as long as you don’t give in to them. Then it’s a phase, if they’re doing it at 10 years old then somewhere you messed up. However, these tactics can differ if your child has a mental or physical disorder. Once they’ve calmed down then you can tey to discuss a solution.
1 Like
Depends on the level… if he can be reasoned with I ask him to put his listening ears in and eyes on mama. My voice is barely a whisper at that point. If it doesn’t work, I let him pitch his fit for a little bit and try again. Yesterday I asked him if he was done pitchin a fit and he responded “almost” so I said ok and walked off (to laugh somewhere he couldn’t see me 
)… he’s almost 2yrs old. He finished his fit and “put his ears in” and we chatted about the fit. Sometimes if it’s one where he.’s lost total control, I tell him to go somewhere safe so he doesn’t hurt himself and I’ll help him onto the sofa or a mound of pillows and let him go until I can feel his energy start to calm down enough to talk to me.
Key factors for us:
- my voice never gets more than a whisper.
- i use key phrases we’ve worked on outside of temper tantrums “I can’t understand you. Slow down and try again” or “listening ears on, eyes on mama”
- I let it go if he is in a safe place
- I wait until his energy level feels like he’s ready to talk and use my key phrases again.
- I will also ask if he needs a hug. Sometimes that is enough to stop the whole fit.
2 Likes
Ignore and walk away its not fun to throw tantrums with no one watching
2 Likes
I let him have it and tell him when hes fone he gets to talk about it. " i dont speak to boys who talk to mommy in a mean way." Then he usually collects himself and talks to me. Took a while but it works for us.
1 Like
My advice is maybe try ignoring them. If that doesn’t work because now with some kids that don’t. I’ve seen some kids literally go from one thing to another because it’s not upsetting their mom and they keep going until they do find something that upsets the mom. because the first thing didn’t and the second thing didn’t and the third thing didn’t well by the time the kid gets to the 4th and the 5th now you are aggravated. I mean I’ve seen kids do it. I have a girlfriend every time her son would throw a temper tantrum she would literally make him get off the floor and go stick his nose on the wall in the corner and stand there with his hands to his side and he could not move. I had another friend that done this similar thing with all three of their kids but they had to put their hands on the wall and spread them with their legs and hold them there. My friend said about five six times the kids got tired of doing it and started listening. it also depends on the age because sometimes when my daughter gets mad and she’s 11 years old I will lock the door because she cannot go outside and play and she cannot go outside and jump on the trampoline or get in the pool she cannot have her devices Wi-Fi TV or anything until she sits down on that couch and she learns to shut up!!! see my daughter don’t have a bedroom right now I cannot currently send her to a bedroom and ground her. I live in a fifth wheel things to hurricane Michael and so my daughter does not have her own room but sitting on the couch with no toys no TV no Wi-Fi and other devices not being able to go outside no you cannot get up and if you talk again that’s five more minutes I mean really it works!!!
I just let mine ride it out.
Distract. If that doesn’t work I walk away and let em have it out.
Adults still have “tantrums” & bad days. Cant expect a child to be able to control themselves all the time or want to stop crying.
We all cry and sometimes for no reason 
I ask my daughter to take a deep breaths and I’ll do it with her to encourage her to do them, when she’s crying before it get worst. I’ve taught her at a very young age, that’s all she knows. and when she does 3 deep breaths she usually calms down enough to ask her questions about what’s going on what happened and help her find ways to solve the problem.
I get down on her level, usually sitting on my bum on the floor with my legs crossed. And I quietly tell her it’s okay to express her feelings and that I understand she’s frustrated/angry/upset. I ask her if she wants a hug and she will almost always climb on my lap for a cuddle. Sometimes she will come over and just hold my hand. I then tell her that she’s a big girl and big girls use their words to tell mummy what she wants or needs. She will either tell me or will take my hand and show me.
Sometimes she will chuck her tantrum for another 30-60 seconds before she will come to me but I sit there and wait for her.
But in my house I find prevention works quite well, I can usually see when she’s building up and is going to throw a tantrum. So then I will ask if she wants help and if she says no we change activities, go outside and look at the dogs or birds or I ask her to come and help me with something (usually unpacking the dishwasher - she loves it). We have a few minutes to cool down in a different environment and that usually works wonders.
3 Likes
Get down to their level, talk to them softly. Make them laugh. Hug them.
1 Like
Depending on why they are throwing a fit. But I will hold them or sit with them and ask them what they are thinking and feeling then we do some breathing exercises and hug and i help explain the feelings that they are feeling and how to handle them. Their feelings are just as strong as ours, but we as adults have learned how to handle ourselves. Kids don’t know what they are feeling or why and how to process them. Its so important to talk about it, and explain why their feelings are valid but their fits are not acceptable.
I count to 3 so they know to calm down. I don’t personally allow the drama added to a moment’s mood. Anger, frustration, sadness, etc are all great emotions to have but we can’t just pitch fits and tantrums whenever and wherever we please. Once they calm down we then talk it over. What made them act as such, what other ways can they do things next time, etc.
Let them have their fit that’s all I do
1 Like
I wrap my arms around her, tell her how much she is loved, and usually sing until she calms down enough to take big deep breaths with me, then a tickle fight to ensure all is well again
I let her cry and ignore her lol then when she sees that we won’t respond to the screaming and crying, she’ll stop and then come over and talk to us
1 Like
We tell our son that by throwing a tantrum, he will not get his way, and he will be ignored until he’s through.
Ride it out… comfort after 
or just hug and kiss the shit out of him/her 
I think tickling helps too
We do calming breaths and squeezes. My son loves head squeeze from his under armor beenie and deep pressure massages to his hands and feet. I use lavender oil on my hands so there isn’t any friction and it’s hot a calming scent. Always helps him.
…i cried back into their face as they screamed at me telling them their tears dont work on me… But only if it was a tantrum that had no cause. Just ill attitude
1 Like
I get down to his level and explain what he did wrong and then tell him what he can do to correct it if that don’t help i sit him either on the couch or steps until he calms down and tell him he needs to fix his attitude. He is also 4 years old so he understands
The best result was when I got down next to her and yelled and kicked my feet. She stopped.
1 Like
My kids are grown. I have 9 grandkids. Thank god none of them ever threw a tantrum. They knew if they did they would get their butts tore up!!!
4 Likes
It really depends on their age. I feel that once they have the right words to use they won’t have to throw a unnecessary fits. Fits weren’t really allowed around me (or other adults).
1 Like
I have 5 kiddos and I walk away. Once they see they are not getting the attention they are seeking the tantrums subside. Then when they are calm and collected I tell them I love them and happily listen to what they have to say.
I ensure their safety, but ignore the outburst.
When their safety is compromised (ie:hyperventilating, physical aggression) I hug tightly, applying pressure, rock them, and encourage them to follow my breathing in and out. I tell them when they can express themselves respectfully I will listen, but I will not “give in” to stop them.
I often explain to them when the temper has subsided that I understand they have big feelings in their little bodies, but words are always the only way I will accept expression. Tantrums will NEVER get me to change my mind. Conversation sometimes might.
1 Like
I’m a mean mom in so many ways. So old school, don’t hit or spank. ONE time, ONE my daughter at 3 years old threw herself on the floor at the grocery store because she was told no. Within 30 seconds I was on the floor screaming, crying and yelling until she stopped. She came over to me and said mommy why you screaming. I stopped and said I don’t know why were you. She didn’t know either.
I would like to say I was embarrassed by all the people looking at me, but nope. My daughter is almost 7 and has never done it again.
1 Like
My son isn’t talking yet and I can’t bring myself to fully ignore his tantrums just yet. I don’t give it attention and wait a couple of minutes before I get down to his eye level and speak calmly to him and ask questions. I will reach my arms out for a hug or to hood my hand. If he takes it great, if he pushes me away I start the whole process over again. I am trying to teach him that it’s ok to come to me when he is upset without either forcing myself into the tantrum or enabling bad behaviour when he pushes me away.
Try to redirect talk about something else ask a question that will distract from what their having the tantrum about
Sit quietly in the same room so they know I’m there and they can come to me when they’re ready
I tried to stop them before they started. My son has anxiety and ADHD. In the house if he was doing something wrong I took the toy away instead of putting him in time out. Time out was horrific screams kicking and couldn’t stand still at all. After 15 minutes I asked him to come over explain what the ball did, why it wrong, what it should have done instead. Then he had to apologize to me for the ball. Only then could he get it back. This worked for us. He is 17 now and about to graduate this year. Some children just learn different. Think outside the box you will find something that works.
We had a “safe place” with a couple big pillows in a corner area. At first I would take by the hand and lead there, after a few times she went on her own. The only rule for the safe place was no communication from anyone. When she was ready to come out she did, we did a couple deep breaths and talked and it always ended with a hug and I love you.
2 Likes
When my kids threw their first tantrum… I calmly told them they were doing it all wrong! A proper tantrum is to lay on your belly, kick your feet and pound your fists while screaming at the top of their lungs. I demonstrated the proper techniques. They looked at me like I lost my damn mind!!! Worked great!!!
2 Likes
I’m a daycare worker, with toddlers. I give them time to vent, then ask them if they want to sit on my lap and talk about it. They usually calm right down.
2 Likes
I wish I had some words of advice but, I’ve tried everything in the world to stop mine from throwing tantrums and screaming at me or his dad. Granted he has ODD so things are a little more difficult. All I can say is I hope you figure out what works best for you all.
for my daughter , who honestly didn’t know how to throw a tantrum, I would be like wow wait a minute put your leg higher, wave it up more , hold your arm up and your not wiggling your fingers, shes was and is very mild tempered. she would start saying like this and she got to the point she would laugh at herself. It probably wouldnt work for alot of kids but for her it did like a charm.
4 Likes
My aunt would clap and tell her what a great job she was doing. After the second time, she never threw another one. Was gonna use it with mine. Never had the chance. Guess he didn’t want to try me.
I honestly let me kid throw their tantrum and i ignore it. When they’re ready to talk, we take a few deep breathes together and talk.
3 Likes
First, I made sure he knew with 100% certainty that the only thing a tantrum would get him was a heap of trouble. Then, I taught him deep breathing exercises and mantras to repeat (for example, he’ll take a deep breath and tell himself, “It’s ok to be sad, but it’s not ok to throw a fit.”). Works like a charm, but you can’t skip the first part.
2 Likes
If at home, let them throw it. I have my boys, 3yr old twins, go to their room. When they’re done crying they can come out. Thankfully we have yet to have a fit in public.
Grounding techniques like breathing or hugging or just grabbing and holding them til they calm reminding them how much they’re loved
I tell him to come talk to me when he’s done. And he will and I’ll explain why whatever happened, happened and I tell him I understand why you’re upset but you can use your words… if his feelings are hurt I know it’s hard for adults so you can imagine how kids feel. He is very open with me on his feelings since I’ve been doing this since he was about 3/4 and he’s 6. He’s ADHD so that’s why he still has tantrums. He’s very verbal about his feelings because I do daily check ins, I put my hand on his heart and ask him how he feels inside there. I’m happy to raise a boy who can talk about feelings.
2 Likes
I remember my little sister was having a big tantrum in the kitchen. My grandma threw a glass of ice water on her.That was her first and last
3 Likes
My 9 year old used to do them when she was much younger. It got to the point where I threw myself down on the grown with her and started throwing one and she stopped. Hasn’t done one since
3 Likes
Usually totally ignoring them works well. When they realize they aren’t getting attention they will stop.
4 Likes
Walk away I did at Walmart had one on the floor screaming I walked away looked back no crying and there he was following
3 Likes
40 50 years ago, mom picked up a hot wheels track, hanger, wooden spatula and paddled our butts. Don’t remember a lot of tantrums in my family.
1 Like
My mom would just take of her slipper and give me good butt whipping or completely ignore me and walk away. Worked like a charm.
If at home throw one with them. Watch them stop n watch u! Lol in the store I tell them if u don’t stop I will walk away sure enough I here they come running
When we r at home I let them cry it out and if we r in a store I take them to the bathroom and stay there until they r done
I ignored mins or got in the floor and threw a fit with them. Lol hey,it worked.
Why the toddler? My son had outbursts til he was 10. Hes very emotional, overthinks things, and blows his top. I would watch, remind him he always gets a migraine, and remind him where the ibuprofen is. Hugs and apologies and a discussion after.
Ignore them. They will realize they aren’t getting what they want and stop. YOU have to be the parent and stick to when NO MEANS NO.
It depends what the tantrums about really. Is it because they arint getting their way, or from being sad over something genuine.
1 Like
You got to try to talk to him and him trying to use his words his problems it’s not easy but you have to try. It could be anything right now between growing and other things who knows
Ignore them works every time just walk away!!
Ignore them. Wait til it’s over and them ask them if they are ready to talk.
My mom would make us get over really quick, damn good spanking
Time out alone in a corner.
Walk away. Don’t engage, ignore them.
Ignore them and walk away.
I tell my daughter… “when you’re done, you let me know.” Then I walk away. It shows her that I’m not angry but also, I’m not willing to feed the tantrum.
Depends on what’s going on. Sometimes ask them to tell me what’s going on, sometimes have them go take a rest break until they calm down, if I notice one of them just seems to be getting upset about every little thing, I ask if they want to go take a relaxing bubble bath and that gives them some time to just chill
Two schools of advice… Walk away no response. Or some books say they may be acting out and need hug.
What I did with my daughter is I brought her to the corner and I would her down to her eye level and say I know you have big feelings but this is not how you handle them. You need to use your big girl words to tell me what’s wrong. Then after she calmed down she needed to give me a hug and say she was sorry. It works everytime.
A good spanking gets their attention
Over tired, hungry, will sometimes start them. I was told that small children usually have them because they are over frustrated with something and don’t have the ability to handle it. Doctor said best way is to ignore it. Just make sure they can’t hurt themselves