Moms, how do you help your child through friendship drama?My daughter is 10. For the past few years, she has had a friend who she considered her best friend, and they had playdates most Sundays after church.Recently, however, this friend has spending time with a couple of other girls from church and excluding my daughter. While my daughter understands that her friend has other friends besides her, she still feels hurt, especially as they all attend the same small church.Today, for example, my daughter was sad after church because she watched the girls all get into a car to head off to an activity. She’s quiet about it. She doesn’t get mad, just sad, and I don’t know what to say to help her feel better. How do you moms help your children through feeling left out?
Friends come and go. Find an after church activity for her where she can meet new friends or let her invite over someone from school that doesn’t attend church to her house to play. She doesn’t have to stick to just church friends on sundays
Oh it is so hard ! And breaks your heart . It doesn’t end even when they are grown ! Just pray and pray and invite ALL the girls to your house when you can . Also , invite one at a time .
Been through so much of this. It gets worse when they get a little older and get their hearts broke. You just love them through it.
Just remember, a friend is one with whom you can be yourself be particular 
That is hard. Maybe tell her to talk to her friend she may not realize she is doing it. And just listen to your daughter. I use to talk to my mom about this stuff and her just listening telling me she has been there helped
Nothing can fix it , no words. Its just a lesson of life and human behavior. The only bitter sweet is finding a new friend.
That’s so hard!! I have three girls and it always broke my heart for them. Try to expand her group of friends if possible. It’s so so hard at that age. I don’t think the girls are being mean they just don’t see it. Just make sure she knows it isn’t her. I would always try to plan a day of fun if I knew my girls wouldn’t be with the friends that day.
This too shall pass. But dang it hurts when your going through it.
Good luck Mama!!
I taught mine what real friendship is, and what it’s not.
I also taught mine Red flag behavior, abnormal behavior, and abusive behavior.
This later taught them to recognize and deal with situations better: bc they recognized what was going on and confronted the person doing it (communication + emotional regulation! Ha ha!)
Eventually they learned to not hang with people that behaved negatively, respected themselves more, and set standards for what they allowed in any relationship (friend or otherwise) they had.
Sit with her, listen to her, and ask what she thinks she should do. Right now she needs this, and to feel out how it effects her.
Then start teaching her the above - one step at a time - so she has the tools she needs later.
Life happens in phases and it’s good to have a wide net of people you meet. I have different friends who meet different needs and I don’t alway invite everyone to everything. Let your daughter know if it hurts her feelings she can try to talk to her friend about it but also to remember this is time for her to make new friends also and to expand her experiences. I think it’s important not to try blame the other girl just because she is also making new friends and socializing. We should never put all our eggs in one basket is all
Id tell her that as people grow and become older, they will meet other people who may have more similar interests with you. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to be your friend, but having new friends can be exciting, especially for that age. Let her know that you’re there for her and you’re sorry she is having to witness that, but sometimes other people get to enjoy things that we don’t.
I usually take my kids for fun activities during this time to distract her and I usually tell my kids friend come and go and that’s life, I try to tell them when they go to high school their friend changes, when they go to university their friends change, when they start working their friends change.
Have your daughter invite all the girls to an activity
You tell her exactly how you would feel if that happen to you. There are better friends to find. Give her examples of what a true friend is like. What qualities to look for in people. The qualities that you don’t accept too. Teach her what friendship means to you.
It happened to my daughter too when she was younger. I think it hurt me more than it did her. I was more shocked on how exclusive church friendships could be and I was definitely taken back from it. We’ve (I have) accepted it and expect nothing from my daughter’s church friends. I’ve learned to speak truthfully and raw to my children which I don’t know if the raw part is always good, but it helps. My daughter is now 15 and she is a wonderful young lady who truly loves God and people. She doesn’t look back on the exclusion or miss her acquaintances, that’s what they really were, not friends. My daughter is loving and very inclusive. I am proud of her and she does have true friends who are younger from church and true friends from school. But those gals who excluded her are still her acquaintances and I’m sure that’s how it will always be, but it’s okay because we’ve accepted it and moved on from that association. Unfortunately girl friendships in the church is a bit more challenging than friendships for boys. On the other hand, my son never lacks friendships at church or feels out of place, but yet my girls experience has been a challenge. All that to say, hang in there and have her make friends with some other little girls from church or other believers in your area.
I tell my daughter in these moments that if she’s willing to hurt her feelings, then she wasn’t much of a friend to begin with. Comfort her and she can find more friends. Chances are none of them will be around when she’s 30. Friends Come and go. It isn’t a reflection of her.
Friends come and go as we grow. People change, people move away, people start liking different things etc. It’s a crappy life lesson unfortunately. Just be sure to teach her what a real is.
Help her broaden her friendships . We all go through this and it sucks! Good luck!
“People change as they grow up. Sometimes they even change friends.
It’s nothing you did.”
That’s life. There will always be a better friend/employee/partner than you. Now she knows and can avoid them and find other friends. Seek non church friends for meeting real genuine people
Can the other girls try and include her ? Can she meet other girls in church -I would take this opportunity to expand her circle and try setting up play dates thru girls from
Her class at school. This is super common at this age and it seems like certain girls do this quite frequently with dropping other girls to hang with more exciting shiny girls. My daughter is just like yours and is super loyal and would rather have one true bestie than a new one every few months but she’s learning that a lot of girls are quite the opposite. Hugs! And honestly also use this time as a way to connect w your daughter to spend more quality time w her bc time is so fleeting
How did u handle the friendship drama when u was growing up?
Invite some other girls to come home with you guys once in awhile to do activities .
Get her new friends but I’m different I don’t recommend best friends. Friends you meet at the park and leave at the park are better. It’s always drama with girls that’s why I don’t do friends
Explain to her that she will meet a lot of people in her life and have a lot of friends. Not all make the life trip. But someday she will have true friends who are there to stay.
My 11 year old has been known this for years since her so called Best friend (also our neighbor) had a birthday party and did not invite her. She watched through the window and cried. I want to cry just thinking about how hurt my Baby was. Needless to say we do not get along with those neighbors since that day.