When we go out of town or have a sitter for the weekend to get some us time, I initiate sex multiple times, normally more than he does, but it’s on your regular every day of the week where I can’t seem to get in the mood.
I’m afraid to talk to him about it because I don’t want him to think it’s him. He gets in his head about that kind of stuff. How do I “fix” me because it’s starting to affect our relationship and I certainly don’t want him to feel rejected.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you keep the romance alive with your husband?
End this please not important to the world
Does he help with the children and chores once he’s home? That may help some.
Try the shower. It will relax you. And give you alone time.
Try taking a shower. Maybe listening to music. I’ve got the same problem I’m attracted to my fiance but we haven’t had sex in 2 years.
Let him know that it’s not him … he will automatically think that it’s him and your not attracted to him anymore because that’s how we think
Is he playing equal role in the home? Count working out. I mean parenting. Chores. The stuff no one likes when they see it lol. Sometimes we get run to the ground and who wants that after a long day. I have 3 as well. It took a lot of communication. There were bigger problems we avoided.
You need to find your self confidence again my dear, get out of your everyday sex routine and think outside of the box. He on the other hand needs to let you know that you are still that sexy fire engine he fell in love with all those years ago no matter what you look like at the end of the day. So put on those sexy heels you used to rock, put some makeup on like you used to and find you again❤.
Open communication usually helps things. He’s your husband just tell him. Find a solution together
Keeping him in the dark with cause more insecurities than just letting him know how you are feeling. It turns into a cycle of both of you hiding how you’re feeling.
I feel this post down to my toes! Mom of 3, love him but goshhhhhh I just can’t get on board with sex anymore just feels like a chore
Horney goat weed and chalated magnesium, both on Amazon. 
Sex is a mind game, you got to put it in there to manifest…, during the day think about it talk about it with your husband on the phone,take a long hot shower before your husband come, snuggle up in a coach watching one of your favourites not in the bed and wait for him,after serving the dinner ask him to get a shower wait for him on the bed
TMI
I get hornier more often if i masturbate regularly
The more you have it, the more you want it. Let him know how your feeling and just reassure him . maybe roleplay a little to get you both excited. Try a new sexy outfit
Get a babysitter more often! And a housekeeper too🤨
Closed mouths don’t get fed
.and yes I’m talking about your vagina…
Frankly the problem is burn out you NEED him to do more kid care. Try having him do everything you do on a normal day on his days off, everything from breakfast until kids are in bed. For at least a month. After he goes through what you do ask if he is tired and has the energy to be intimate. You put so much time and energy into kids and house with no time to yourself it is no wonder you have little interest. And it is that way for most of us mommies especially worth kids that are too young for you to take a long hot relaxing bath or go for a walk by yourself. Dad had to step up if he wants yourbatteries to recharge for him.
Talk to him because its not all you either. He could help more with the kids to lessen your load and maybe that will help put you in the mood. A quickie in the laundry room or bathroom is fun. Maybe try that. Bring back the passion and it might help you want it more.
You don’t need to be “fixed” & neither of you is the issue. It’s the phase of life you are in. Wiith 3 young kids under 6, your brain is wired to put the kids first.
It’s not easy to switch gears so don’t beat yourself up about it. You mentioned that when you plan for just the 2 of you (organise sitter, etc) then you have no issues so it’s not your libido. Let him know so you can plan more of the scheduled times together.
The spontaneous will come back. Be patient & be kind to yourselves. Most of all, keep holding hands, keep being affectionate, talk kindly & lovingly, show you appreciate him, acknowledge his contribution to your family & remind him about just what a great man he is 
The rest will follow… Best wishes!
If he helps you to accomplish the daily routine it might turn you on. Well it does me…
Try a different time maybe? If you’re too worn out come night time, maybe see if there are other options. Or build yourself up a day you want it & hype yourself up with something to look forward to.
I have 5 kids between 9-4 and I am the same way. He wants it to be everyday like it used to be and I just want to unwind and relax cuddle and catch up on quality time. I’m exhausted emotionally physically and mentally. He tries to be understanding and he helps out a lot with the house and kids on top of having a full time 3rd shift job but i just am not in the mood every day
Me and my husband have the same problem. Communication is key. I hate it, but I talk to him and he gets it, and he has got to where he helps more with the kids than he used to and he realizes that it helps the mood. I told him I find him even sexier when he helps me more too.
Change your schedule. Sometimes things can wait.
Also, get blood work for hormones & vitamin levels. Stress can miss with them.
Also, talk to your husband. Work thru it together.
Ask him to start putting kids to bed while you go take a bath or unwind for a least hour then go to room together you’ll be more relaxed and maybe that will help you be more in the mood.
I’m in the same situation
I flirt with my husband the moment he walks in the door. We kiss every time we pass each other. Setting the table and we brush up one another we stop for a couple seconds wrap our arms around one another and just kiss, full on high school make out. We are both on the same page that at night we are both exhausted. 5 kids, work, everything but sometimes 20 minutes is all we need for a round of great sex. Especially with all the flirting, touching intimacy etc. I’ve also noticed I sleep way better and wake up more rested afterwards.
I feel this I got to the point I didn’t want to be touched with 3 boys 6 and under total burn out and I told him multiple times to help with the kids and when he finally did I wanted to be touched by him let him know how you are feeling or just leave him with the kids for a day on one of his days off
This is me. We work opposite shifts and when we do see each other he’s all over it where I’m like no let me sleep 
And he will think it’s him. I’m in the same boat. Mine has to do with depression, kids, work, all after school things and my weight. But somehow he thinks it’s him. Talk to your OB. It’ll get you some answers and maybe some help. Best of luck to you❤️
Get your kids settled, go to do Landry and let him bend you over that washing machine while the dinosaur chicken nuggets have 10 min left in the oven!! 
If you want it just as much as him, make time for it during the day when your not so tired. It doesn’t have to be extra all the time. Just do a quickie here and there and then maybe you’ll want it more at night? Good luck!
Doesn’t really sound like a libido problem. Sounds like a tired, touched out, overworked mama. Totally normal. Just try to find some ways to relax around the time the rids go to bed like a nice essential oil infused bath, reading, a short walk, etc.
We have alot of morning sex, too tired at night after work, kids etc…
I feel you. I have 4 kids oldest being 15 and youngest being 3 work full time and deal with the upkeep of the house. My kids do have things they are responsible for but during the week with school i don’t push much on them as they are buried in school work… but At the end of the day when I finally get my youngest down, things done for the next morning lunch and backpack, get the animals taken care of, and lastly shower. Its usually 11 pm and I have to be up at 4am. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and go to sleep. Most days I feel like I’m on auto pilot. This impacts my relationship greatly and I usually don’t have the energy for sex. I told mine if he wants more from me then I need more from him. More often than not nothing changes. There isn’t enough effort put forth by him. We don’t have sex on a regular basis as I’m not usually in the mood from being irritated and tired. I hope things get better for you. I’m sorry I don’t have any advice, just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
Start with asking him for a back massage. It relaxes you so much and gets you in the mood. Works for me every time
Choreplay is real. You’re going to be less exhausted and maybe more in the mood if he does things like cleaning up after dinner and taking garbage out. You’ll have a minute to breathe and you won’t be rushing to get the kiddos ready for bed.
You do not need to be fixed. You do not need to train your libido to match his unless you want to. This is a season of your life with young kids and you are tired at the end of the day understandably. If he is not understanding of this then he needs to change things so you are not so tired.
Same I have 4 kids and he works all day and it’s rough but we changed up our routine a bit and have the kids in bed early and I get some me time…and then he and I do something together we usually play video games it’s kinda out night thing we do together and rub each other’s back and feet and just be there… then we either watch a movie together as we fall asleep…or we have sex…it’s been alot more frequent since taking the time to do us…and the massages why we talk about the day or whatever has also been something intimate without being sex…esp for my man…he loves getting his back…legs…and feet rubbed why I ask about his day…he talks about his work( he is an electrician and don’t know half the stuff he is talking about ) but just rubbing on him and talking has alot more intimacy then you think…it’s led to sex more often being relaxed and being on that level after each of us take the time to talk and just be there…but it’s nothing you need to fix about yourself…I totally get the tires and ready to be done with the day…esp if you are literally doing everything for everybody all the time like me…it gets rough…but after taking the time to make time for me and my man each night for us…our relationship,our respect/ appreciation for each other seems better…and the sexual or intimacy between us and the mental and physical feeling since taking our time has been incredibly helpful to our relationship and personal self in the realtionship…don’t fix anything about you…but maybe change the schedule or routine to where your last hr before passing out if for you and your husband not the kids…and take the time to massage him and talk to him…and honestly you may have to ask for your massages but hey most men aren’t aware it can go both ways lol…haha but take that time to rub each other…non sexual and just see how natural and freeing and better it makes things…it’s helped me and my realtionship so much more …after 4 kids insecurities and are slow sex life were playing some games in my head but since making the time for us…I don’t feel insecure I feel completely different…but try it out…I know your tired…I usually am but I sleep better after winding down with a good massage…pillow talk…and often sex…it’s become a routine of our own haha good luck girl
Pure Romance “o”!! Best stuff ever. You might not want to do the do before, but you will after you put that stuff on.
Following and dont want to loose the post! Since im in the same boat… And my man doesnt care about my feelings when i tell him i dont want it… (Which i get cause i would get mad too) and he always thinks im cheating when i dont give it to him. (which is another reason i dont want sex cause thats such a turn off)
I struggled with this myself. My fiance has a very high sex drive and I dont. He needs it like once a week or more where i can go weeks without wanting it and its caused problems so we set up a time to be just us and have time for ourselves and thats usually whe. things happen lol. We have a 4 year old so alone time is difficult
Try having sex first thing in the morning, when you’re rested and before your day starts. My husband and I have been married 12 years, have 4 kids, and it is rare we go a day without sex of some kind, whether it’s in the morning, a quickie before dinner or late at night. We make time. Yes, I’m exhausted and sometimes he has to initiate it and be ok with me giving minimal effort.
Same goes for me when he’s tired. However, I promise the more sex you have the more sex you’ll want regardless of energy. I honestly have a hard time sleeping without sexy time.
I am totally in the same boat
Definitely fill your husband in on how you are feeling, I worried about telling mine for the same reason but it honestly helped him know what I need more of from him and we finally found a level place were we both want it just as much as the other. It’s always a good thing to communicate
Tell him the truth. It’s not about him it’s about how tired you are.
Communication is the key. Tell him how exhausted you are at the end of the day. Maybe he could do more to lighten your load. Most of these issues happen when one spouse isn’t doing their share of the work load at home.
Be open talk to him and go see the doctor. It’s hard with young kids.
You’re not broken, you’re tired. And that’s totally valid.
I’m the other way around… nothing happens unless I start it and even then he just lays there like he’s paralyzed he finally burst out that I dnt turn him on because I sleep in his boxers and his shirts I say when I wear thongs he doesn’t take my clothes off to check and if I never started it we’d never do it why would he even want to be with me if I’m not attractive to him I dont get it
Communication. Communication. Communication. Biggest, most important thing in a relationship. Start there.
My hubby is you. He just wants to go to bed. And you know it really makes me feel unwanted. When I’m the one always Initiating sex he never turns me down. But I know there’s times when I won’t even try for fear he will reject me . It is hurtful when your partner is never in the mood. I know it may be difficult but you have to try sometimes. That doesn’t mean have sex if you don’t want to. My God don’t ever do that. But ask him to Initiate some foreplay. That will help you get in the mood rather than jumping right to it. You should talk to your Dr about it too. There is supplements that can help increase your ssx drive.
Talk to your hubby cause he needs to know…also have a female check up cause your hormones levels could be off
Go see your dr. Ask for testosterone cream. Use as advised/directed… you will be more than in the mood. 
I feel you. But it’s opposite now with us. Been together almost 8 years. My husband never wants to. We haven’t since July. He says it’s him but idk.