Tell your husband to help… heck my husband is gone 28 days and home 14 and he helps me the entire time. Before he went out working the river he still helped me. Whatever I was lacking he would pick up the slack…
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Do one room a day, close it off & do another room the next day. It’s good to have a schedule going.
Hire someone to do a deep clean every three months so you just have to maintain it.
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Get on a schedule…sheets every Friday,
Vacuum every Thursday, sweep if needed everyday, wash clothes like 2-3 times a week (or if needed wash a load every day and put away same day)…
Try to meal plan and shop on the weekends…that can make a HUGE difference!
When it comes down to it, you are a stay at home Mama and really, I can understand your priority is your children during the day. Maybe have the toddler help clean up every afternoon.
You should definitely take a nap when they nap if you can and need to…seriously. The days are long but the years are short. Taking care of yourself is good for your babies and your huband. Consistantly getting a rest or a night off or time alone or away can be healthy.
Your husband needs to get a reality check and realize just how MUCH stay at home moms do. He SHOULD be jumping in when he gets home and helping with the kids or dinner…or bathing them and starting bedtime routines…or doing a quick pick-up. Just because he brings home the actual money does not make your JOBS any less important or you any less of a person. Your needs should not be ignored. You have a right to have a ‘relief’ or break at some point as well.
Sounds like you are a great wife! Your husband needs to jump on board and be a teammate with you. <3
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I also struggle, I do what I can each day and hope that the next day is a better day. I’m currently struggling with a very dramatic 5 year old and a 10 month old who is busy cutting 4 teeth so sleep is actually non existent. None of us are perfect, just do what you can and make sure YOU look after YOURSELF aswell
Pick one task to do each day
But try to keep up with the dishes and washing
You are not supper mom
Your hubby needs to help out at least with the kids
And I am really, truly sorry he is treating you this way. If he is open to hearing you , definitely sit down with him and talk to him. Share with him the reality of being married and having children…and that it is about being a team. If he is a jerk about it, ask him if he’ll go to marriage counseling. If he won’t, then maybe you go by yourself and learn how to voice your needs and let him know he needs to help, and learn healthy boundaries. I hope you can figure out a way you both can have your needs met. <3
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Other moms keep the house clean? Between my kids and husband I semi maintain the house with a deep clean once a month on the weekend when my husband can help. I just can’t keep up all the time.
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Yes you do. And your husband needs to help.
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Put on music …do one room at a time.,.keep a routine…start from one end of the house then to the other… A few rooms a day…laundry one day a week if possible…clean as you go
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My opinion…
U have to do a little at a time, in each room, in-between changing diapers, bottle feeding baths and toddler feedings. It may take all day, but a little, is better than nothing.
I have one and grown with kids of her own, so that’s what I had to do.
And I know u have 2, but u have to try something. JS
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Your husband should be helping you. It’s a partnership. Both my husband and I clean cook and handle our children. Yes he works longer hrs than I do but at the end it’s teamwork
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I did what was necessary. Anything outside of that I told him he could do it. He eventually took over dinner and most of the laundry.
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Most companies have more than 1 employee working. So if you want to say it’s your job. Well he is a coworker. He should be helping and should give you breaks. How would he feel if he could never leave or have time away from work?
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I baby carry the baby for the easy stuff and I get my toddler involved she loves to help so if I’m emptying the dishwasher she helps put a few things away or if I’m vacuuming she hold the cord for me
I have a 3yr old and a 8month old and if you get on a schedule it helps so much! I wash my sheets and the kids sheets every Monday. Laundry Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
I sweep everyday and mop 2x a week.
Once you are done with a dish/meal wash your dishes! It helps SO much!!
I also vacuum everyday morning or night.
I clean my bathroom every other day also.
I’m also a very OCD person and have to have my spaces clean.
Sometimes I fail and that’s okay. But I promise if you get on a schedule it helps!
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I struggle with this as well. I work overnight shift and have 5 kids, 2 of which I’m home awake with during the day. Luckily my husband understands that cleaning is almost impossible and hardly ever gets upset.
The only other thing I would suggest besides these other suggestions is to see if your husband would be more willing to help if he has 20 to 30 minutes to decompress and change clothes before engaging with you and your family.
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Eh, nobody with kids has a clean house unless they’re neglecting the kids to constantly clean or they have paid help to do it.
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You guys give me so many tips for when I do become a mom 
love y’all uncut mamas
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I simply don’t. I gave up and do what I can but I just hire cleaners and struggle in between.
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If he’s unwilling to help (more common than you think) and you are behind every day then stop napping. I have a 2 & 4 year old, it gets easier once the younger one can entertain themselves.
As it is I’ll start cleaning once I’m done with coffee (8-9 am) and don’t stop unless I’m cooking or playing with the kids, until before I go to bed at midnight.
We had a tight routine and schedule when ours were little, we both worked full time with a commute. We started teaching ours when they were about 3 y/o how to do simple, age related chores. As they got older their chores changed, they could pick up their clothes and bring to the laundry room with me and my dirty laundry. Pick up toys and put away, that being said, we also taught them when they’re done with the toys they’re playing with to put away before getting more out. 7 pm was bath time, while one was in the tub with myself or husband, the other parent was reading a book and lights out, then bath baby, read a book and lights out…by 8 pm, very few exceptions. From 8-10 pm, we caught up on supper dishes, laundry, whatever needed done that day. As they got a little older and were in scouts or rec ball, gymnastics, dance, we still had our nightly routine, except we hired a housekeeper for Saturdays to do the floors, bathroom, kitchen, vacuum, and laundry. 2 years later we moved to the East cost, we resumed our regular schedules, by then they were 10 and 7, they had supper duties setting the table and clearing the table after supper. This was when we started working on some independence, they knew their bedrooms had to be in shape, otherwise, they did whatever chore they saw needed. We maintained that schedule and routine when we came back to KS when their dad was deployed, I was a SAHM, when they were home all day they played outside, I started meals, nap time was either reading books and resting or napping. Don’t try to do it all by yourself, even as a SAHM you need to take care of yourself, full time mom’ing isn’t easy. During that 8-10 time frame we were able to spend couples time together if the house was picked up. We felt like it was very much key component to our relationship to have us time. Sometimes he had things to do and I’d have things to do, this way we did something we enjoyed. I realize there may be some unnecessary content, but this is how it worked out, as one thing leads to the next. Start now with your toddler, if there’s any fussing, sing the clean up song, make up songs, have fun with it.
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Routine is the most important starting from waking up in the morning…
Housework do what needs doing everyday don’t let things mount up cause it’s harder to catch up…
Load washing everyday or second day… wash dishes everyday…
vacuum every week… broom floors every day… get toddlers to help clean up their toys…
Meal plan so you have 1 weeks dinners sorted…
You will be surprised how much better it is 
we can not all be perfect human beings… just do the best you can:point_up:
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Be glad you are still young. Wait until you become an older senior. Everything is gone and you can’t do much any longer. Enjoy while you can. Do what you can. Don’t condemn yourself for anything that doesn’t get done that day.
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I don’t just do a Lil more each day lol
Cut the nap and get what needs to be done on yr day. Then it’s yr hubby’s turn . So that day you can nap.
Ummm… he can suck it. Being a mom is a full time job. Being a mom to a baby AND a toddler??? That’s a pretty crummy person to be upset the house isn’t clean. Do your best and what isn’t done, Isn’t done. Being a good wife shouldn’t be about just caring for the house lol and he should be contributing as well your full-time job of taking care of the babies while his is going to work house chores can be a shared Responsibility
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You need a routine… I had three children aged four and under and I’d never of managed wothout one… My house ran like clockwork but it was always clean and everything was always always done
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Hey…hiya I’m the same as you it’s hard work…I know I normaly start by making the beds and work down stairs…its hard work I know as well as trying to play with the two little ones…just because house work is there doesn’t mean it has to be done straight away…my partner is brilliant mind you by the time he come home from work everything is done…but the days that have been extra hard he never complains and helps.
Him being upset is 100% not your fault. You birthed 2 humans and are taking care of them 24/7. If he can’t help a little after work without throwing a hissy fit then something needs to change. It is most definitely not your job to keep the house spotless. Your job is to care for your babies. Your husband is more than capable to help you with household stuff. Mama is allowed to nap with her kids, it’s fucking exhausting having a baby and a toddler.
I have a 3 n 4 yr old it gets easier just keep ur kitchen tidy at all times, let the kids play I’m their own corner, and tidy at night , if they sleep you should too, don’t worry about a messy house at all times if u can then u do it if you can’t let it be ur husband should also understand having two Lil ones is never easy but as they grow it changes
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Start by taking out the trash, sometimes you just have to throw the whole man away
It doesn’t matter if he works and you don’t, he is still responsible to help around the house and if he doesn’t see it that way, well then, you have my answer
Routine routine routine!
I use to keep the house super clean, then my kid turned 4 and idk what clean is anymore. I see a glimpse of it sometimes then it’s trashed lol
It’s not your job to clean the whole house. He lives there too. Your “job” while he’s at work is taking care of your babies and that itself is a BIG job. Next time he gets upset, tell him to watch the kids for a day and ask him to clean the house at the same time. He’ll change his mind real fast.
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I do the best that I can and as long as I know I did as much as I could, then I don’t really care what anyone else has to say about it. 
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Budget for hired help at least once a week
Have him take care of the kids and house for a day. Heck even a half day, he will be calling real quick.
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Make a routine and stick with it and make your self do it.
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I told my 3 year old daughter to pick her toys up or I’ll throw them away🤷♀️. She picks them up now but only when I or daddy tells her, still works.
Get up early enough to start🤷♀️ this my routine.
I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 20687 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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Oh my some if the comments , children and your well being cones first housework will always be there
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Let him switch jobs with you for a day & he will shut the hell up. This job is not easy. #mamaof4
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Get a house keeper or someone to help you out, also you can do a room a day
You got this
But please Please please don’t let your husband stop helping you
Its a partnership…he works but so do you…you both work, you both should help around the house. Find a routine,make “cleaning” fun.
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Make a routine
I load the washer at night and start it. Morning transfer it over
Same with the dishwasher.
I’m the morning I empty them and reload if needed.
Load dishwasher after lunch and start when full.
Down size on the toys. And teach toddler to help pick up.
Folding clothes. Give toddler socks to play with and baby gets tummy or get them down while toddler is playing at the high chair.
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It’s really a hard time to be young and with busy little ones. Can you afford a sitter sometimes? It would do you good to take them a couple days a week to clean sleep or get your nails done. The good news is this time in your life is much shorter than you think right now. Hang in there Momma!
It gets easier as you learn a routine. Def get rid of anyyyy clutter/unwanted items or clothes that you all have, children’s included. Donate any toys that aren’t actually played w, etc.
as someone else stated though, your kids & yourself come before housework. If you want to nap when they nap, take a nap!! If your husband is upset about the house, ask him honestly, would he like to be trapped in the house caring for two small children & trying to clean a whole house all by yourself?
If you still find it overwhelming I would hire someone or try to break it down throughout the week. Run the dish washer every night after the kids are in bed. Clean the kitchen every morning & one or two others chores each day. Like dusting, sweeping & vacuuming one day. Then the next clean the bathrooms. Then the next do laundry. Stuff like that.
Good luck mama! 
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Stopped reading at “my husband gets upset.” He can clean too 
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Set a timer for 20 minutes and clean during that. Or do two 10 minute timers. I clean before my kids lay down for quiet time because during their quiet time is my quiet time where I can eat lunch in peace, catch up on a show or even nap if I want.
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I try to do an hour of cleaning when I wake up everyday. My toddler is usually busy playing since he just woke up and it distracts him for a little while. I drop my oldest off at school, come home, turn on cartoons, my 2 yr old plays while I do dishes, laundry, clean the kitchen/living room. The bedrooms don’t ever get done daily. Like once a week, I’ll do a quick “pick up” of a few toys/clothes or whatever else if I can. My fiance stays home with the kids on weekends and I work, so he realizes I’m only one person, cuz he “can’t” get anything done with the baby 
lol
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It’s a bit sad that he gets upset about helping you out it is his house too after all. Try making him book a week off work and make him stay home with the babies whilst you go out everyday for the exact hours he is gone for work and let’s see how much he managed to get done. I’m willing to bet he won’t be so quick to complain.
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He needs to help too.
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First off its not JUST your job. You both live there and you both make messes. just bc he works doesn’t mean he doesnt have duties there as well.
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I usually just sit them down with something to do and quickly do as much as I can, sit them down to eat, finish what I want done that day and just parent the rest of the day I found if you put music on while you’re cleaning, it makes it easier for me and every time I walk past the kids I’d dance if or sing with them and then continue so they know I’m not ignoring them …
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Just do the best you can and I promise it’s good enough. We are much harder on ourselves than anyone else possibly can be. Explain to hubby that if he’d like to trade places for a few days, so he can see what you do all day…he might be a lot more understanding. Guys don’t get it…being a SAHM/working mom is a thankless, non-paying job that never ends. We don’t get breaks or sick days. We don’t get nights & weekends, or PTO off. If he has to help lighten the load when he gets home from work…guess what, that’s what he signed up for when he chose to be a hubby and dad.
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Stop thinking of it as just your job. Your main job is the kids. Housework is for both of you. Start woth the area that bugs you the most and focus on keeping up on that, do other stuff as you can, once that becomes habit add another area. Also find what helps you clean, a show to watch at the same time, a certain type of music, podcasts. For me it’s jonas brothers music, it’s peppy and keeps me going, i have a play list just for cleaning so i don’t get distracted trying to find the right songs.
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I have 3 kids, almost 8, 6 and 3yrs old. Truth is, I don’t keep up with my housework. There’s no way I, personally, could do that. Toys are always all over the place, and blankets/pillows thrown about and dishes are always in the sink even if I just did them. I just focus on food spills/liquid spills and try to keep the kids from destroying each other. And that’s on a good day. All you can do is try your best and if your husband doesn’t like coming home to a messy house, he can pitch in to clean it. Trying to do everything takes a toll on your mental health. I know from experience. I’ve been trying to learn to let go on some things and not stress about having things being perfect. I still struggle with mom guilt and feeling like I’m not a good wife because things aren’t perfect all the time. But I know my kids are loved and happy so things don’t need to be perfect all the time. You’re doing such a great job already, mama. Just focus on those babies and do what you can when you feel like it. Momming ain’t easy. <3
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I always do everything once they have gone to bed, it’s just pointless otherwise as they just trash it all over again. Enjoy that nap mumma you deserve it
It’s hard!!! Keep doing what you can momma!!!
I clean everyday and then deep clean the whole house on sundays. So that means cleaning my kids rooms everyday before bed (it’s usually just my sons) my daughters older and hers stays pretty okay, laundry daily, clean the kitchen every day/night. Then clean bathrooms, floors, etc on sundays. But, you also need to sit him down and have a conversation bc just bc he works doesn’t mean he can’t help. Too many men have that concept of I shouldn’t have to help bc I work.
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The less stuff you have, the less there is to mess. 
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Lmao story of my life and when I do actually get to clean. It winds up same as it was 20 min later. Lol and my infant isn’t crawling or walking yet. Can’t wait to see how much worse it will get 
and my husband doesn’t care. He knows how crazy it is. He’s been home during the day enough to know what I deal w and he helps. Yours should too
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I didnt when they were little …I had baskets of clean cloths the dishwasher was always full the floors always needed to be cleaned we always needed milk…but my kids were happy learning feed and enjoying being kids I stayed semi sane also napping when the kids did soooo give and take I guess ask ur hubs what more important? It wont be like that forever and the time it is like that is short when u look at the big picture. now the kids are big and in school. I hate cleaning but as a stay at home mom its my job and what the hell else am i gonna do lol
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Get a new man a real man would understand some days it just not going to happen
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Have less stuff and get it organized. Then it’s very easy to keep a clean and orderly home. Teach the babies to help pick up. Have a routine and stick to it. Eventually it becomes second nature and you can’t imagine not doing it. 
I found this book validating: How to Keep House while Drowning. It’s short, concise, and I listened to it on Audible. Hope it helps!
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I literally clean all day, everyday. If I work nights, I work until midnight, I clean again as soon as I get home before going to bed. I have 5 kids. I literally never stop moving. I don’t suggest this as I’m exhausted. Do what you can mama. Nap when you can. It’s not going anywhere. It will be there when you can get to it.
This is my house right now . We have a 4,3,2 , almost one yr old in two weeks . They have designated playing areas their bedroom and outside period . We have a routine 7am wake up , get dressed breakfast cleanup , 11 am lunch clean up noon nap . 4-5 pm dinner clean up . They must pick up all toys take their dirty clothes to the hamper . Kids need structure period
Pick a room a day. spend an hour cleaning house. Organization helps too. Toy bins, hampers, junk drawers, nik nac bin, snack bucket etc… I’m OCD so I feel like I never stop. But don’t be too hard on yourself, ain’t nobody perfect and your house don’t have to be either. Took me a long time to get that thru my head.
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Step one - tell the husband to shut it.
Step two - self care
Step three - take care of the babies needs
Step four - do the best you can every day. If you can’t get to something, it’ll still be there tomorrow
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Routine and schedule. Everyday one room, I also include my toddler, play music,make it fun. Also, let toddler help-they love it, and just wear a baby or leave in a play pen. That helped/helps me a lot!
More and more in reminded I married “one of the good ones” as he never really got upset when I was a SAHM if the house had some messes or I told him I had a rough day. Especially after I had my second child. I had severe PPD. It got easier as time went on. Then we both started working full time he worked more hours than me job wise. I was working 8-5 and then taking care of the kids as he left for work at 7/7:30am and didn’t get home till 8/9 pm. I got up with the kids every morning (they are usually up at 5am. Then asleep by 7:30/8. I was really struggling and it was causing a lot of issues. He did make a couple snide comments about the hose being messy and I told him I was exhausted. I am doing my best…
. Then my hubby had a heart attack back in January and he’s been on medical leave. He wound up having a triple bypass. The last month he’s been doing all the house hold chores and taking the kids to the appointments and stuff since I was the only one working. He actually apologized to me and said he sees where I was coming from. Especially trying to recover from a c section and trying to take care of two kids. He said he couldn’t imagine how I felt trying to take care of an infant and a 3yr old after surgery. I think he needed the reminder. 
. We make a good team now.
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Leave him alone all day with the kids one day so he can get a taste of your day.
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Get up off the chair and put the phone down, do one room at a time, then go to the next room, I would also go see your doctor and see if maby you might need a B 12 shot
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Let him clean if he chooses to clean! Take your naps! You’re not on anyone’s timeclock but yours. It should be a family affair. Everyone eats, not just you. Everyone wears clothes, not just you, etc. Sometimes that mess can wait and someone can just be a lil mad, or help out, if it bothers them that much. 
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1 room a day. Pick one room and clean it from top to bottom. Whether it’s a bedroom, bathroom, toyroom, kitchen etc and just pick up the clutter from the other rooms. Once you’ve completed every room at least once, you’ll find the housework goes a lot smoother and the cycle repeats itself so each room in your house gets the attention that it needs without overwhelming you. Routines also help.
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I adjusted my expectations when I became a sahm. Theres just not enough time to handle child care and do all the things. I’m lucky because my husband has never once complained about the state of the house. He helps out. He lives here too and I’m teaching my boys that if you live in a house you have to help take care of it. It gets easier as the kids get older, don’t require so much of your time and they can also do chores. I do one big chore a day, keep the kitchen clean and pick up the toys after the kids are in bed. No point in cleaning up the toys if they’re just going to keep playing. But once their old enough (2ish) have them help you pick them up. Start them early!!! This is my cleaning schedule:
Monday:
Bathrooms
Tuesday:
Sweep and mop main floor
Wednesday:
Dust and vacuum
Thursday:
Sweep and mop 2nd floor
Friday:
Errands
Saturday: wash bedding
Sunday: Nothing
This seems to work for me. Hopefully you find something that works for you and your husband lowers his expectations while yall have young kids.
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I clean kitchen in morning right after breakfast, while I put him to play n watch a movie. Then I play w him awhile. Then nap time I use to clean furniture n floors. Then in the evening when my husband is home I can clean a bathroom, but it feels most my day is cleaning. I just do a few minutes at a time n play with my 2 yr old in between so he doesn’t feel neglected.
Routine definitely helps!!!
You know it’s Your job to clean house:woman_facepalming:t2:
have your husband help you and with his kids too!!!
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If he has a problem with it he can help with it he lives there too or he can take the kids while you clean when he’s off work. I have the same problem I got so sick of cleaning and and trying to keep up no matter what I do turn around have to clean again so I stopped for a few days decided to go on walks and get out of the house instead I guess my partner got tired of it because he started helping to clean
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Set up a routine…. Its not that hard
I am in the same boat I have a 2yr and 5 and neither wants to help mommy clean…
I have a 6 week old a 3,7&11 it’s extremely hard can’t get 20 minutes to do much of anything right now
When I was growing up n we had a family of ten. My mother was a stay at home mom. Dad worked 60-80 hrs a week driving semi trucks. House was always clean, bills payed breakfast lunch n dinner always made n she kept herself up. Plus running kids around for different sports. She n many like her did this back then. No complaints either. It’s keeping schedules n not slacking off to sit on a comp or in front of a TV half the day. I’m assuming some laziness is in there somewhere. Sorry but get organized, do what you’re suppose to n enjoy your family time after all is said n done.
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When I was a stay-at-home mom and had a baby. I get that sometimes you cannot put the baby down. Babywearing helped me a ton! That way I could get some stuff done while still “holding” my baby. Then it also allowed for me to nap when they would nap. I highly recommend getting a Moby and trying it out. Also make a game of pick up for the toddler. They can help pick up their toys.
It’s his house too. If he has a problem instead of opening his mouth he can pick up a broom. Caring for kids is full time too. Actually double time since who actually gets sleep with little ones and who gets up at night with them?
Buy a robot vacuum, I did (expensive) but it one less thing I have to worry about. 
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I have children toddler and baby too I have to put music on and get on with it then nap when my 3 year old goes nursery for hour and half then back to school run
Ugh I used to have the whole house done by lunch. By the time my husband got home it looked like a bomb went off. My twins were like cyclones. So I gave up. Hung out with them during the day. Did most the housework but saved the living room for later.
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I get paid over $ 130 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to do it but my colleague makes over $ 16249 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is limitless.
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Wow. Some of these comments are awful. First, give yourself some grace. Babies are hard work. Try making a list of all chores and sort into daily, weekly, monthly, seasonally tasks. Then prioritize them. What things have to get done vs what can wait a bit. This is the hard one for me but declutter. Talk with your husband about what exactly his expectations are. It may be that he is feeling overwhelmed also and it’s not really about the housework.
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When mt kids were little I brought toys to set around the sink for the toddler and put the baby in a seat and sat it next to the sink and I was able to play with the kids as I did dishes. Sometimes I let the toddler play in the sink as I did dishes. Of course making sure there was no glass or sharp objects in the water
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Tell him to help it’s his house he lives in his children he’s picking up after. I let the messes I pick up what I can. They aren’t going to be little forever one day there will be nothing on the floor. Make your memories now. Worry about what you can when they are occupied with something
Unless he can do or is into doing the night feedings it’s important for you to rest when baby does otherwise when do you rest?
I never ever wanna clean. I try to clean as I go. Like if I’m in the kitchen get everything to the sink at least and wipe off counters. I have no hope in toys they help pick up but then they make the mess again. I pick up everything as I walk past it like dishes to the kitchen or clothes to the hamper shoes in their right spot. It does get overwhelming and I absolutely hate cleaning. But as long as it looks tidy it’s OK. Some days my house is sparkling clean and others it looks like a tornado went through it
It’s not your job to care for the house… he lives there too, those are his kids too and his mess too…
Leave him alone for the weekend with the kids and see how much cleaning he gets done…
fricken boys…
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