Please no judgment, I have nowhere else to go to ask these questions. I have a 9, 7, and 5 year old. I’ve been a stay at home mom their whole lives and I love it! Just sometimes, it wears on my mental health. I don’t have a support system to help me besides my husband who works. I’m currently in a state of severe anxiety/stress and depression and the only thing I can think of is the fact that I never get a break. My parents and my husband’s parents are about 2 towns over but never make time for them. And when I say never, I mean, literally never. I hate asking for help, but recently I did ask them for a break because I needed to go to the hospital for a mental health crisis which was stemming from a UTI and they both told us no. Does anyone else do it 100 percent without people to help? How do you keep your mental health in check?
I got on meds that I’ve been putting off for years!!! It has helped tremendously!
I was a stay at mom also but I realized that because my children were around your children’s age I decided to get a job outside of the home only part time… and I did start working out at night for my ex fiancé to watch them since he was a truck driver!! My mental was definitely not good being a stay at home mom but by me working a few hours every other day outside the home it really helped me be a better mother 
So try to see if you can find something outside of the home maybe a part time job or any extracurricular activities!!
Prayers for you! In Jesus mighty name Amene
Seek a therapist. Seriously, it’s an unbiased person to talk to and even get some help with learning how to deal with your mental health in healthy ways. Most of them offer virtual sessions anymore so no need to worry about childcare if that’s a concern. 
you should also talk to your SO about you getting some time to yourself OUTSIDE of the house once a week, time away from him and the kids will help you find yourself again. 
Well honey your hubby needs to take the a day off work for you to see a psychiatrist. I know that might be tough but yout mental health matters. I can tell you being a stay at home mom gets easier as kids get older and can help with chores and feed themselves for the most part if needed. I take meds and I still suffer but mine is from my situation and a lot of past traumas. As long as your hubby is supportive some meds should do you well. Just keep in mind sometimes the first meds you try may not work. Its trial and error for every person. It can take a few med changes to find the right one. I know from experience that depression is tough and has to be managed somehow.
I don’t have any help either even in an emergency. It does cause anxiety because knowing that no matter what happens no one will show up and care for your kids wears on you even if it’s subconsciously. I have a rare disease and have had to sign myself out of the hospital AMA. Knowing there’s no help is anxiety provoking. Try not to think about it.
I’m sorry you’re going through it. I agree with others that mention therapy but also don’t think that takes away from your need for a break. Is it possible/affordable to find a nanny or babysitter to help out even if only occasionally so that you can take some time to yourself? Your kids are school aged, I highly encourage you to get involved and make connections with other parents if you haven’t already. My Momma friends are sometimes “my village.” I would jump at the chance to help another Momma who is in desperate need of a break. We’ve all been there before. Don’t feel bad to be honest with those around you and ask if they’re willing to help. Can your husband take the kids once a month on a day off so you get a breather? Momma you can’t fill anyone’s cup if your own is empty. Prioritize finding a way to take a break. It’s not selfish, you’re not wrong for needing one. It’s 100% necessary. Good luck Mama 
Your husband could watch them also a couple times a week so you could get out and do something
Hire a baby sitter. Just for a few hours so that you can go somewhere quiet and decompress. If it’s hot or bad weather just Go sit in a church. Go buy something for yourself even if it’s just a coke and candy bar. Communicate with your husband so he can step up and help you out even if it’s just for a small amount of time. Long enough to sit in a bubble bath alone. Self-care is important for a mom’s mental health.
Try to find “free things” that you can drop your kids off at for even an hours. Bible camps, library reading hour, etc. I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. My youngest daughter is a military wife (stay at home Mom, across the water) and she would not trust to leave her kids with anyone. She would take them on walks, to the park, or the beach, and shopping. Sometimes she had a girlfriend to hang out with and they would go for walks or to the beach with the kids. If I was close by you, I would want to be your friend. Hugs to you. Seek counseling if you can. Perhaps over the phone even.
One more thing. Maybe get an at home job that will keep your mind busy. I have quite a few friends that sell cosmetics, healthy drinks, etc.
I’m sorry you are dealing with that and have no support system I would advise you to contact your primary for a referral so you can get your life on track.best wishes
If you have no family or friends to help you get out of the house once or twice a week for a few hours, surely your husband would be willing to pay a sitter…if not, I would certainly understand feeling like a prisoner. We all need more than being a mother, wife, housekeeper and cook; otherwise we lose ourself. If that’s not the answer , then go back to school and take classes in the evenings or get a part time job. You should address the mental health issues if it’s more than frustration from having no time for yourself. I’m so sorry that you don’t have a supportive family.
First of all your and your husbands family are both horrible! You need to be checked out by a Dr. Asap! Maybe it’s just a simple medication that you need. Good luck sweety your family on both sides need to be there for you and their grandchildren.
Shame on your parents there’s a grandparents they should love to take them once in awhile
Are the children not in school?
I checked in with my therapist. Sometimes every few weeks and others not for months. I was able to find the source of my major stressors and began dealing with them head on.
Reach out to groups like this. Add friends of likeminded from groups. Start talking to people online that will let you vent without judgment or interruption.
Pm me anytime 
I
Cannot
Imagine that your family’s don’t help . That is just so wrong. I have lived where I had no family around and did it all but then I have also lived where I had help . Can you afford a sitter every so often . Even a couple hours will do you good . You just have to make some time
For you .
Find a summer day care program since there school age and even if the only can go 2 or 3 times a week to give you a break and for them to have fun
Hire a sitter once a week or for an evening. Take that break.
I have 8 and no help. It’s really difficult. My mental health struggles sometimes especially as I’m 8 months pp. Getting outside helps, and if your kids are old enough to stay with just hubby maybe consider a night in a hotel by yourself just to recharge. Your spouse should help, he needs to understand how desperate you are feeling.
When that 5 year old goes to school…. Get a job. Get human contact with adults. Find things you like. Build a life that is not kid centered. You have no system because you have isolated yourself. Go get one momma.