I am thinking about leaving my husband. We have a 15 month old. My husband is a great father and my son absolutely idolizes him but our marriage has become really terrible and I can’t put up with it anymore. Although I am the primary caretaker, my husband and I both mostly work from home and so my son is used to seeing mommy AND daddy a lot every single day. I’ve read a lot about how psychologically scarring it can be to divorce at this age, especially when a toddler has to move or switch between 2 homes. We would be sharing custody but it would obviously be a huge and upsetting change. He melts down when we travel or sleep somewhere else or when he’s away from either one of us for too long. Anyone have experience separating with a toddler? How did they handle it? Would it traumatize him not to see both of us every day and totally disrupt his routine to go back and forth between 2 homes or do they get used to it? So heartbroken to do this to my son
For better or for worse. Communicate… Babies are hard. Mother’s have 9 months to get use to the idea, where Father’s cling to the “pre-kids” life and struggle a lot at first. Being a parent is a thankless job and a toddler really increases the stress level.
Take time to remember why you fell in love, take time for yourselves to heal your wounds together. The rut of life can wear you down and make you feel unappreciated but remember, he goes through the same thing. He’ll feel invisible in the house. In saying that… If there is abuse, leave.
Not a toddler, my little boy is 7 months old. I recommend if it’s not working out don’t force it, everything will fall into place as it should. A toddler will get used to it, waiting will just make it worse in the long run as it can scar to divorce the result of you’re child watching neither of you being happy would scar more. At the end of the day it is your choice, but never stay in a bad situation bc of your baby. Your happiness will effect theirs, I would definitely say keep the peace from a distance work out a different routine. You’re son will love the both of you the same❤
My daughter was about the same age when I left her dad… I also stuck it out as long as I could it’s rough at first but than it becomes a normal routine thing but staying with someone just because of a child is unhealthy for all of you good luck
Try therapy if you want to maybe make it work with your husband. If not, do 50/50 custody so your son sees both of you as much as possible. Split the week. Or do one week with you, one with him. He will get used to it. Good luck!
My son is 13 months old and his father and I aren’t together. He spends every other weekend with daddy. We have a great relationship and our son is our number one priority. I think the relationship that follows the split is what determines how your child will handle it. If you two can remain mature and keep it as loving and happy as possible for your child everything will be okay.
Me and my boys dad separated after 5 years together, we weren’t married but we lived together. We broke up in jan 2018 and my boys are still having bad separation anxiety having to go between two houses. We have shared custody.
What exactly is so difficult? Relationships go through changes and stages and you have to decide if you are willing to be there in both good and bad times. Get counseling talk to your partner before you make decisions that may change in a few weeks or days .
You’ve not said what issues there are with your marriage but if there’s no abuse involved I’d suggest giving it a chance . Do counseling , date nights . Having a kid shakes up the relationship and it’s really hard the first two -three years . I almost gave up each time I had a kid but eventually things thankfully got better. You have to make time for yourself with girls night out or mani-pedi , do date nights so you can see each other more as a partner than your co parent.
My youngest daughter was two when we separated. As amicable as it was, she still has issues, 8 years later. If you can avoid separation, I recommend it.
You know what will traumatize him more? Seeing his parents unhappy. Move on- he’s young. Sure he will cry for his dad but it will get easier. Maybe you guys get him every other day so he sees y’all equally.
I was 3 when my parents divorced and I only have small flashes of memories from before(nothing bad). I’m 31.
He would get used to it. It would be hard but he’s too young to remember it.
Not much different than if one of you got a job away from home.
They will adjust trust me. The child will realize that somethings not right between mommy and daddy and can cause them issues as well. Never stay with someone for the sake of a child. My son has always lived with mommy and went to daddys every other weekend and he adjusted just fine. Kids bounce back so quick when they are that young. Itll be tough at first but they will adjust. Just make sure if you end it with him that your sure thats what you want so that youre not confusing the child. Best of luck 
When my ex and I split my kids were 4, 3, and 4-5 months. They adjusted fairly quickly.
There’s no good age for a child but it’s down to the parents to make it easier… It doesn’t always work out that way… Put your kids first xx
Ok but why not try to work on the relationship vs just leave when you hit a speed bump
Better or worse right?
Relationships/ marriage take work not bail when times get tuff
Did you try TALKING TO HIM?
I was happy when my parents divorced when I was 12. They fought every night for two years before the divorce and before that they fought fairly regularly. Not physical, just yelling about things ALL the time. If your marriage is truly “terrible” and there’s no hope of fixing it where your child can live in peace, it’s better to leave.
So do it and start play therapy.
There’s no good age, it’s what yall do after the breakup that will determine how he does. My parents divorced when I was 3. They remained friends and that is key, we still did family things with both sides of the family. They fought to make our lives normal and it worked. They Co parented fabulously and did until my father died
Going thorough this now … I have our son during the day and bring him to his dad when he gets off work which can be anywhere between 5 and 9 PM then I go back in the morning before he works and get him …hes 2yo