Get rid of him!! That’s theft and all he is doing is using you to supply his habits. Take him off the accounts and kick him to the curb! Disgusting. Those babies deserve better, and so do you!
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I was in a similar predicament and tried to make it work. The day I brought my son home from the hospital his dad went to play football all afternoon. How a person does one thing is how he does all things. My dad paid my rent and electric bill that month. I left after I went back to work. I should have earlier, he was like another child I had to take care of. It’s something you can do!! Never doubt your strength! My son has grown to be a wonderful man with very little contact with “him” - who still tries to reconcile with me after all that, a new wife and a different state. Still the same loser…
Honey, you’ve set the standard of what you accept.
You have accepted his shitty behavior for 10 years now. He isn’t going to change. I’m sorry to say it, but he WONT.
Time to get out. He is a namchild. You are about to have another 2 children. THINK ABOUT THEM AND YOURSELF.
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I didn’t even need to read this. If you are thinking about leaving in the slightest, that’s how you know it’s time.
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If you’re going to do bad… You can do it on ur own… You don’t need to man girl !!!
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You know. You know when you’re done and you don’t question it, you just go.
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Make sure he doesn’t see or go anywhere near your money
You will cope your doing everything now so its not a change
Hes draining you and you don’t need that around your or your beautiful babies
Make him leave he will either do everything he can to come back and be a better person or he won’t
You’re stronger than you think xx
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Bruh, kick his ass out. Get on social assistance and start from scratch
Take away his access to the money. If you don’t give him access to money, he can’t blow it on gambling and he can’t buy any alcohol. If he’s drinking like that then has has no business staying at home with the kids. That’s not a good situation for them to be in. Save your money. Make certain he cannot access any of it. Get a legal eviction on him. He’s not going to change. Tell your mom what’s going on and tell her what you need from her. Hopefully she’s the kind of mom who will do everything in her power to help you and your kids get out of such a toxic situation.
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Change your bank account so he doesn’t have access and tell him to leave he is a jerk
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You don’t have to sell anything to get away. Put his sorry, lazy, @$$ out and move on.
Reach out to your local human services office and resource agencies to see what help is available in your area. He’s financially abusive and gaslighting you. Clearly you and the kids aren’t very high on his list of priorities. I mean he’s prioritized drinking and gambling over the needs of his family. Growing a human is a hard and exhausting task and you are growing two. And here he is acting like some child who lives with his mommy still. Girl if he starts missing bills he ruins your credit and could potentially leave you and the kids being evicted
Both of which will only make it harder to find somewhere else to go.
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Hes an alcoholic and wont change unless he wants to. You might as well figure out your game plan, from the sounds of it, you’ll be just fine without him
I’m sorry you are going through this,especially pregnant. Your bf has a illness. He should be in a program for addiction. I went through the same, almost exactly, myself but I hung in there because I loved him so much. After about 17 years he got sober on his own with no help at all but that us very rare. For me it was worth it in the end. But, this is a decision only you can make. Maybe a temporary separation would help him see things aren’t good.
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You know it’s time for him to go. You should not have to take care of a grown man. He has serious life changing issues that will impact all of you and guess what he doesn’t want to stop and you can’t make him. You have to have him leave.You need a partner who can help you and build you up. Kick him out and tell him he needs to get treatment/ help . This will be the hardest thing to do but the best thing also. Reach out to social service agencies for assistance for yourself and your kids.
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Run he’s immature and your his mother. Show him the door
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Sell your house get a nice apartment and use the house money to hire you help.Either way it sounds like you will be doing all this on your own. Hes a dead weight Get rid off him
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First off. Take a deep breath.
This is stress. All of it is far from good for you, carrying. You do need the situation to change, but have patience. Wait a year to really leave, only if it’s not abusive, and save a little so you’re ready if you do decide that. Now is the time for nesting, but that can include boundaries for the nest. You can make it clear that you aren’t going to stand for drinks all night every night. That’s disrespectful. He should care. You’re going to need extra help, and sleep. Threatening to hire someone might help. He doesn’t want a night nurse all up in your house and guarantee you he doesn’t want to pay for it.
Sit down and warn him. Like realistically, he knows it. But ask for a change by a certain date. Small steps. Like he needs to commit to drinking only 4 nights. And therapy online is becoming more affordable. And therapy is good, whether or not you can stay together, it’s still good for everyone.
You deserve so much better. Don’t waste your lives. Please think of your kids, they do not deserve this either. Good luck. Love you.
Leave him already, you dont need to look after another Child and he sounds like a leech . Leave him, its the best thing you could do for yourself and your Babies . All the best! 
I say kick him out get rid of him it will only get worse and make him pay you back some how for what he drained u for cause sounds like to me he is only there for housing and to get whatever he can mooch off of you
Wow throw his ass out
You are carrying twins. You need to find a way to get rid of some of this weight you are carrying on your shoulders. Take charge. Remove his bank cards from him, only give him lunch/gas money. Tell him the rules, if he follows him, he can stay. I wish you the absolute best, twins are incredibly hard, but the best blessing. Don’t let him take the joys away, you deserve to be happy and enjoy the experience without all this worry. His drinking NEEDS to stop. Prayers for you darling xoxo
Honey get out now. Just imagine if you had a man that worked as hard as you do… what all y’all could have. I’ve been in this situation. I’ve been the one working while my husband stayed home with the kids. It’s not right. I always worked so I just did it. He drank. I loved my husband and I won’t put him down but 12 years later… I’m now a widow. We have a daughter now 8. She was six when he passed. Next month will be two years. Alcohol took him. I never thought I’d make it a day on my own. I was scared, terrified, my entire world changed in the blink of an eye. You’re already supporting yourself plus another child pretty much. I don’t think you need the stress while pregnant especially with twins. I think you know your worth and I think you know that you deserve way better than what you’re getting. Us moms can make it. I don’t know how I’ve done it… but almost 2 years later me and my daughter are doing just fine. I’ve made it. Just us two! It wasn’t easy… but it’s worth it. You got this. Let those kiddos see a happy momma. Set them a good example of what a man should be. Until you find the BEST, don’t settle. Life is too short! You got this!!
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Pick up and move and do not take him. With 2 babies on the way it will be more stress on you and the relationship. Make a clean getaway and find a good church and you will find help out there government or others but he is just adding to the stress of life.
Deep breath, don’t do anything yet. Use this time while you’re off to make a plan. See a lawyer, go to the bank, go to alanon and therapy yourself.Talk to a realtor. Have your babies,make sure you have a good job lined up then stroll away when all your ducks are in a row. You’ve dealt with his ass this long hold out a little longer so you aren’t floundering when you go. Good luck,you can do it.
Weigh the end results. Kids growing up without a whole family in this world. Have you tried having a church family. God is waiting. Try God’s way. Praying for unity in your family. You can do it.
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Please please please leave him. Narcassist will not change.
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So u decided to have another child with him that makes perfect sense
I’m sorry but it’s time for him to go, he knows he has a problem but refuses to do anything to fix it, it’s affecting your house your kids and their needs. I would make him replace all the money from both accounts, change the pin and not make him a user on either account then work on selling the house and leaving ASAP. That is the last thing you need to be worrying about with 2 newborns otw
It’s okay to start over! It’s okay to start over! It’s okay to start over!
You should definitely make the decision that is best for you and babies. It sounds like you have your priorities straight and you’re a determined worker, you’ll be back to where you are in no time if not farther without having to parent your bf if that’s what you choose. You CAN do it!
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Show him that if he dosent change you will leave. Take a couple days (2-3) and go stay at your moms or something to give him time to see how he is going to feel when you do leave if he dont straighten up. Some people just need a reason to change and sometimes losing it all is that reason. I’m not going to talk bad on my kids father my husband now. But when my oldest was 2 months old I walked out on him. Pack all of our stuff and just left but once I did he realized I wasnt taking anymore I’ve been with him 8 years married 3 but he has been put through hell and it took alot for us to get where we are now. But I love this man and have 3 kids with him. It’s a matter of what are you willing to do about it… find out why he is this way get to the root of the problem. My husbands was that he was scared of me leaving with his kids like his ex did, his ex took everything he had worked his ass off for since he was 18. They divorced when he was 27. She walked out on him because she said she couldn’t handle being a loggers wife. She never told him just packed his kids and left while he was at work. Not long after his divorce his daddy died in his arms at the hospital doors. So my husband was in a dark place for a long time. We just slowly worked through it. Communication is the biggest key
I’d this even real? Sheesh
Love you Meg your a strong women
Tell him to leave. Your children need a stable home. Let him worry about his next meal, how to get drinking money. Sounds like he is just a moocher who doesn’t want to work. Good luck. You can do this!
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Yes leave him it cant be worse by yourself u doing it all anyway hes just another kid u having to take care of.
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I’m sure you have talked to him till your blue in the face and nothing has changed thus far. I was married to someone for 33 yrs with the same issues, but drugs were in there as well. I left many times when my parents were alive as I had a place to go. Once they passed I stupidly stayed for another 10 yrs. Nothing was changing so I decided to tell him that we are putting the house up for sale and going our own ways. I moved away and nothing has changed on the other end and it’s been five yrs. Your BF has to do it for himself or it won’t work . Your BF has to want to change. Not for you , not for the children, but for himself. Sorry for you struggles. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time in your life where decisions are hard to fathem. Wishing you the best.
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Kick his ass to the curb. You have to stand your ground because you were the breadwinner for awhile while he was over there spending all your hard earned money on useless shit. Only you can make the better decision for you and your children.
U r better then this!
Dr .Phil has the best advice …”It’s better to come from a broken home than live in one “
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I say do what’s best for you’re kids there youres no matter what.he dosen’t seem to be helping out much and seems to not want any help.so I would leave just my opion. Look into programming for you and you’re kids theres alot of places in the states that help single moms.you may even find good housing too.
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It’s the “the next check will be all yours” comment that is a massive red flag for me, especially with two babies on the way as well as the children you already have 
he sounds very irresponsible with money and that plus your resentment towards his contribution to your relationship is gonna drive a massive wedge between you. Imagine once the babies are born how tired you’ll feel. How little time you’ll have for household chores. How much less free cash you’ll have and how much more important budgeting will need to be to make sure you’re all taken care of for a month… I just don’t see a happy ending for you 
babies are expensive and you can’t have him emptying your accounts when he feels like it or be drinking when you need him to be helping with the running of the house/family life!
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You shouldn’t be the one to pick up and leave. He has to go. If he wants to be a kid then he can go back to his momma’s house let’s see how long she will put up with his ass. I wish you and your kids the best.
I have 2 accounts me and my husband share one and the other one is only mine (not because I don’t trust him) it’s because I have a business and if something happens we have extra money to fall back on
If I were you I’d wait till the babies are born to leave and get an account that only you have access to ASAP maybe one he doesn’t know about 
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Listen Babe. I’ve been there! I was in it for 14yrs as the provider while he sat on his ass and watched me do it all and pay for all his drinking. It 
doesn’t get better! Nothing will change. Yes leaving isn’t easy. But you better straighten that crown and remember who the fk you are! You have been doing it on your own before, and you are more than capable to do it on your own! No it’s not going to be easy and you will have to figure alot out on your way day by day but don’t stay with a pos drunk just bc it’s easy. It’s not good for your kids to grow up around that. Trust me, pack up cut your loss and move on.
You can do bad all by yourself, momma. The last thing you need is the stress of a man that you have to take care of, when you already have other children to look after.
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Dont walk away
Run away
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It sounds like a very hard situation. But I think if you own the home I would make him leave and you keep the home. In most areas right now rent is higher than house payments. And perhaps you could find a way to make money with your house like rent a room or garage to a reputable person and add to your income. I’ve even seen where people rented part of their yard for someone to grow a garden or store a trailer or motor home There’s always ways to make a little money on the side. That way you always know you have a home for you and your baby’s. And you would be building equity. It’s just a suggestion . Wish you the best.
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What would you tell your best friend or daughter? Do that!?
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Your kiddin me right? Bring on the flak but, Where do guys find stupid chicks like you?
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Boot him out! You should be stable at home, instead of selling.
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Girlfriend I believe you already know what you need to do just want confirmation from a few people that is on the outside looking in, my advice to you would be to do it. You will soon have four kids to take care of and you don’t need a immature man making it any harder, take it from me (drugs and alcohol destroys families); kick his tale to the moon and don’t take him back no matter how much he whines I’ll change (they never do)!!! Living experience of that.
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Get out. If he won’t leave/ if you can’t make him, YOU go. As a single pregnant mother, you’ll have plenty of resources to help you care for and house you and your children.
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1st things 1st…DONT HURT THE KIDS,BECAUSE THEY DIDNT ASK FOR ANY OF THIS! 2ND-IM NOT saying stay for the kids,BUT…At least TRY! TRY TO HELP HIM…TELL HIM TO GET CLEAN,MAYBE HES GOING THROUGH SOMETHING THAT HE CANT HANDLE…If he refuses to get help and go to counseling and maybe take a class on budgeting,then leave…But if I was you I would try to better my family and the parents to my children before I left…You and him can fix this and turn this around with a little work…IF YOU 2 WAS TO SPLIT UP NOW,who’s to say his drinking problem doesn’t get worse,then your children are going to be even more heartbroken because not only did yall split,but now daddy won’t come around cause he has an addiction…I would think about your children 1st…Better yourself and the father to your children and do it together as a team…Marriage is hard, noone ever said it was going to be easy by no means…If the takes where turned, would you want him to try to help you? Would you try to get clean and better yourself for your family and kids? Give him the ultimatum that your going to leave If he doesn’t show you that he will go to rehab and do drinking, yall take fault counseling because I’m sure you both need it after 10 years,and show some effort in putting back money…He may not like it,and he may even be stubborn but kick him in the a$$because he needs to man up and be more responsible and be around to help raise them babies that he helped make… Yall save your family, yall don’t give up just yet…At leastIF YOU DO END UP LEAVING,AT LEAST YOU KNOW YOU CAN SAVE AND BELIEVE YOU TRULY TRIED TO SAVE YOUR FAMILY…YOUR KIDS WILL HAVE QUESTIONS 1 DAY…
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When you’re questioning if it’s time to leave, that’s when you know it’s time to leave
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Bro you’ve had him living the life of Riley for how long?! 10 years?! He’s got demons he can’t/won’t fight for the sake of you and his kids…you can try to drag him to counselling but he may not be willing to face them yet…conjure up a few scenarios and pick the one best for your babies, I’m hoping your mother is understanding of the gravity of the situation and will step up if needed
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Maybe look into working at home, an online job or something similar in the meantime… Save in a separate bank account (don’t give him access to that one) save as much as possible until after the babies are born and then leave… In the meantime talk to a family lawyer to do things the right way, sell your house and look for resources, get ready… I’m sure you might be able to find some support in your state for daycare (in my State we have a program called action for children to help out mother’s and families with daycare expenses, there might be something similar in your State)
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Very very similar situation here. It is hard at first, but it really does feel better to just leave the person. 4 years, he has a drug problem, drained my bank account, and didn’t contribute to any expenses or have a job. It was a huge weight off my shoulders and I felt better immediately. Has not seen my daughter since she was 3 months old and she is 8 years old. Now we have someone great who loves us and helps contribute. Best of luck to you!
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And why is it you stay with this lazy alcoholic??? First gather your self esteem and self respect and kick him to the curb quick. You’re dragging around a dead horse that is holding you under water. Besides all that, your kids deserve better and he is a piss poor role model for sure. Wake up girl…get out while you can!
Give birth and start your exit plan. Hide $ a little at a time. Prayers little mama.
Kick his sorry ass out. U don’t need him
I would research support for single mothers in the area. I’m so sorry you are going through this alone. You are so strong for getting this far dealing with him. I would want to leave but I understand your fear of not finding child care that is affordable I would figure out a plan and talk to a daycare as well be upfront about your situation most people are willing to help someone trying to Better there life and children’s lives.
Oh honey, get rid of him
Your doing it alone already.
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I would kick him about and apply for child support. This man is a leech and he’s draining you dry because you let him.
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This whole thing literally screams END THE RELATIONSHIP. You even said you wanted to do it as well. In every relationship needs to have compromises. Its been this long with none made on his part and you doing it all. Its past time. It might be hard at first but i have faith you would pull through for your babies. Good luck mamma
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Kick him out and build your village. Those babies, your children are worth more than that. Think for them. Time to roll up your sleeves.
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You’ve been doing it alone already
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Promises without change is malicious. Don’t take talk when you need action and if he can’t match the talk then he isn’t sincere. He showed u who he is, now you need to believe him and decide what to do. Personally he doesn’t sound like any kind of support system for you. He sounds like he does what is easiest and the bare minimum to get by and say he did enough.
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Think about what it’s going to be like if you don’t leave. Tell him it’s either therapy or you’re leaving. Maybe you can file for short term disability or unemployment
From your message my dear, u already know what to do. All the best
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Walk away from it,just do it.
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I’m a runner if it’s going bad I packed the kids and left which I had to do to many times .but never stay in a unhealthy environment if not for you leave for the kids…it’s so hard on them when they’re is non stop stress
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As a mom and woman you need to put yourself first!! If you have talked to him about your issues and he is not willing to change then he never will! Also you don’t want your kids to think or know thats okay. I’m saying from experience but you know what’s best for you and your kids 
Best of luck for you and your children. They deserve the best
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I was in the same situation. After 10 years, I had to make a choice and left. It was hard but best decision I ever made.
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You should have left him a long time ago. And you should have been more careful and not have gotten pregnant. Good luck i feel for you.
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You’re basically doing it alone. You have babies on the way and the last thing you need is a big man baby with issues he does not want to get help for. Keep the house, get rid of him.
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If he refuses therapy or to even work on it and has the nerve to blame his actions on your hormones at that, then dont even bother… he wont change.
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If you read your post you will have your answer. People like that will suck the life out of you. Whether you realize it or not you are already alone you your kids. Make him pay child support or go to jail. Time for him to grow up and you to move on.
U should have left a longgggggg time ago and not get pregnant again by that loser but too late now run fast!
Leave him right now, look into help from your country!!!
Don’t let your kids suffer
PUT HIM OUT!! YOU GO STRAIGHT TO COURT! Get yourself child support & anything else you can!! HE WON’T HAVE TIME TO DRINK ANYTHING NOR AFFORD TO DRINK! WAKE UP!! IT’S ABOUT YOU & YOUR CHILDREN, NOT HIM ANYMORE! If & when you decide to go back to WORK HE can contibute…CONTRIBUTE TO CHILDCARE!! NO MORE SITTING ON HIS ASS WHILE YOU WORK!! MOVE FORWARD NOT BACKWARDS!! SENDING PRAYERS TO STRENGTHEN YOU! AMEN
Oh my just after the first few sentences I could tell you need to leave that blood sucking leech. He is using you. You need and deserve better!!!
I’m in a similar situation minus being pregnant and no kids. I’ve been with my bf for 3 1/2 years,we both work but he doesn’t pay any of the bills I pay everything. Well recently things have gotten pretty bad,he treats me like crap but blames my feelings and attitude on menopause. It’s called I’m tired of his crap. I feel he has used me for a place to live and transportation. He’s a liar and I feel he is cheating also. I’m fed up and ready to leave but I don’t want to give up my home cause if a guy again.
I have a few questions Is the house in your name only or is his name on the deed as well. If he is not them ask him to leave. If it is then you leave and go to a shelter. Get a new bank account and if you stay in the house change the locks. Good luck and enjoy the stress free living. He is no help to you so why keep around? Tell him man up.
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It will be hard but it already sounds like you are a strong and amazing person. You got this! Show those babies they have a momma that gave up everything to make a better life for them. Hugs & Prayers
Girl you and your children are worth more tell him to hit the road that’s your house:disappointed_relieved:
Try therapy on your own to help you sort it all out and make a plan that includes securing your and your children’s futures. Either he will shape up and hop
On board or he won’t. But securing a future is your job.
Some don’t understand the power of prayer or the miracles that can come from a tiny seed.
Tell him u want to get married to be husband and wife , tell him u want ur children to understand and feel the love of thier dad . tell him he is their protector and provider their teacher and that they will always need him as a seed needs water and sunshine to grow and prosper . then start talking to the one and only true king with him . Time for friends , family and people u don’t know to start a prayer chain for ur family .
I don’t know u so I will start .
Father God in heaven I come before you in the MIGHTY NAME of Jesus Christ and ask that you please touch the heart , soul and minds of thus family and bring them together as your children , forgive them , love them , change them , give them strength , hope and guidance , wrap them in your arms and show them the great plans you have for them as a family and as your children with the inheritance you have promised .
I ask these things in the MIGHTY NAME of Jesus Christ
Amen !
I think if you reread what you wrote you’ll see it’s past time to remove him from your life.
When the day comes where he chooses alcohol over diapers, youll know you stayed too long. You dont have a man you have 3 children with 2 on the way.
Take him off the bank accounts ,your not married! Look at churches in the area for help. Do you get snap or assistance from state, contact them for help. Since he is working - kick his ass out! Is the house yours or both or are you renting? There are alot or resources for women and children just do your research and get out of there♥️
Maybe if you kick him out he will change. By letting him stay and not forcing some kind of action or way of making him help, it is causing him to be content. Think about it, if all he has to put up with is hearing you complain and gripe to him, (and you have every right to and more) then why would he be concerned. If you take drastic action and make him leave and get a job, either he will change and realize what he is missing or you will be better off without him, if he don’t want to change. And my God get your own bank account without him on it with no way to access it. If he’s the stay at home dad, and can’t do right with your money, give him an allowance.
People only change when they want to. Usually, they only want to when their current situation hurts worse than changing. He’s got it pretty easy right now.
He’s not gonna change, you already feel taken advantage of because that’s exactly what’s happening. Cut your losses and tell him to get the fuck out
As soon as you have to ask that question.
Lose the loafer. You are supporting all his bad habits. You don’t need him adding to your troubles.
Dear, I have been in your shoes. 17 years. Due to childcare, deaths in my family, etc. My divorce did not happen until I hit the 17 year mark and my youngest was 13. I subconsciously waited until they were older. It is easier to tell u to leave than actually doing so. I did get away and file for divorce thanks to my father’s help in another state. He died suddenly on Xmas Day and I needed his help. We owned the house I had bought before we married. I was back to work when my babies were 1 week old, I had to. Finally, I found a woman close by who loved my kids and helped me so very much. I have worked at home and brought newborns to work with me. I had a problem with it and could not work very well. (3) My best advantage was I owned the home, so we would never be homeless. (I had payments) I was a very strong woman. Now, all are grown and we were divorced in 2006. He passed away in 2018 due to his lifestyle and heavy drinking. Very young. He had his faults but, his children loved him. Of course it was very hard. I could tell you some crazy things he did. He changed a little, managed to get a job after the divorce filing 12 years prior when my dad died. A sad life he had, his biggest accomplishment was his children. Unfortunately, only the last days in hospice did everyone make amends. The point is, I do not know how you will make it with the newborn twins. Hold on and do what is best for your children. I waited and am glad I did. Look for opportunity anywhere you can. God Bless. He was not on the bank account.