You need to get this guy outta your life!! He’s sucking you dry and living off you! You deserve better!! Your kids deserve better. If he’s drinking and gambling all the time I don’t know how it’s been okay for him to be a stay at home dad!! How has he even been able to look after the kids!!
You need to get his friends and family members and conduct an INTERVENTION, if you are not familiar with this loved ones tell him that his drinking is destroying his family and they can no longer tolerate it. The person who leads it will have set it up with a rehab for him to go in then and there. If he refuses you gave him a chance and he blew it do what you must. The goal being he enters rehab and returns conducting himself as a responsible husband and father no longer using alcohol.
If hes not helping you and just causing you more stress there’s no point of him being there. If hes gambling spending all the money are bill’s even getting paid? If not why is he even there? If you’re having to figure it out or use your savings then he really serves no purpose except stress. Are there any programs in your state that can help? Churches, salvation army, DSS? I honestly would do anything to get rid of this guy, sounds like a bum.
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I think you already know the answer. Yes it will be a struggle, but you will survive. You owe it to yourself and your babies to live your best life and provide the best life for them. The person described is not a role
model for your kids and is not a support system for you.
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Twins are alot of work, wish you would of waited since you knew he drank and gambled…
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Take away access to any accounts of value. Prepare to put him on child support. Seek help from trusted family/friend who can help you get situated with the coming twins. You deserve better as well as your children. Men/Father’s are SUPPOSED to PROTECT, PROVIDE and LEAD. He doesn’t do any of these. Cut your losses, NOW. GOOD LUCK 
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Kick him out he’s not going to get help while living with you as he think he can keep lying and that u will always accept it. Say no more ask him to leave. Give him no access to your bank accounts and if that means making new ones then so be it. I will also say my ex is an alcoholic and mixed his drinking with his medication and he went off the rails lucky for my family no one was really hurt but we were lucky. Don’t let it become like I did.
Family and friends will help you when bubs arrives and get onto Childsupport and centerlink ask for a social worker and get your payments changed over. You’ll be a lot better off mentally when your not worrying about where your money is going.
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Girl, you know the answer to this… the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be. Boot his lazy ass to the curb. You can raise your kids by yourself. I’ve done it.
Run honey, run!! You should not have to do this all alone, and I’d you do, you night as well get rid of him!!
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Leave with your kids if you have to.
Sounds like you have been in the relationship 10 years too long
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I lost my kids because of my husband drinking please get rid of him don’t make the same mistake I threw my husband out several times before I left Montana to get away from abuse and now I’m alone without my kids and I can never forgive my self my kids are my everything my heart was not strong enough to not keep letting him use me and abuse me please be strong if not for yourself then for your babies
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So sorry sweetie!!! You don’t deserve this and neither do your children. These feelings are not hormones or anything else!! This truth right before you. I left my ex gradually after my youngest was born; got myself set up slowly and moved on. Just took my time (which was hard, very hard) and did it.
If you’re already taking care of everything as it is; you so have this. Once those darling babies are born; kick his sorry ass out and look into assistance for child support. Best of luck to you!
Honey - set yourself free . He seems unwilling to change and you will only improve your life by moving on . Get a job and get your financial house in order . Do not ever allow him to take your savings again . He will not change . I know of what I speak . It will be hard but you will come
Out on top of this .
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When you asked that question. That’s when you knew. You can’t get the validation you need from us. We’re not living your life.
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Please get rid of him
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He’s using you as his ATM machine! RUN !!
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Get rid of him unless you want to be miserable for the rest of your life. You’ve already been doing it on your own, you don’t need his help. He sounds like a hindrance more than he is help.
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You cant get help for yourself and kids while hes living with you. Throw him out with the dish water (old saying) and start a new real life for you and your kids. You can get help. There are lots of places for you. He is what he is and will NEVER be any different lots of losers like that. Preying on women to keep them up. Please protect yourself from another pregnacy . Children deserve better than what he is. Children are expensive too. Just tell him your done and to leave, that’s it. Do not agree to any of his lame excuses to do better. He wont. He cant , or would have,you cant change him. Been there done that , voice of experience. After hes gone apply for all and any help and serve him for child support , do it for 18 yrs , don’t let him slide make him go to work and pay or jail for non support. Your kids deserve that. It’s for them. Good luck, hope you take good advice.
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If you ask yourself that question it’s time
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As a single mom who divorced my ex when our daughter was about a year and a half old, you’ll struggle a lot less if you leave because if you stay not only will you be caring for four kids, you’ll be dealing with unpaid bills because he spent your money, living with an active alcoholic… Basically you’ll be caring for five kids.
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Why did you stay with him so long if he didnt marry you, years ago?.
Sounds like my ex husband… it took me a long time to finally be done done for good… but I’m so much happier now… yes, I struggle from time to time… but it makes the relief feel so much better now that it’s been some time… I hate hearing things like this. It can get better… but consistently is the only thing I asked for over and over and even now, so many years later its just gotten worse… but the best part is, I don’t have to worry about it.
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Sell ur house… take ur kids and run… start over elsewhere. He is a grown man. He’ll figure it out… ur kids are ur priority…
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Leave. After ten years he ain’t changing. You and your children deserve better. Talk to your mom tell her you need her help temporarily so you can better your life!
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Don’t sell your house and move. Just kick him out tbh
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NEVER PUT MONEY IN BOTH OF YOUR NAMES. Put money away in just your account and he can’t touch it. Better yet a safety deposit box. Leave him. Go for child support and be a single mom. I have four kids and I’m single. I prefer it. Kick his butt to the curb.
Keep your mind open for a side gig you can do from home. It will save you piece of mind for saving up again. Message me if you’d like. Keep your head up Momma
Been there. Done that. It’s actually well past the time of leaving. They are all empty promises now and he isn’t going to change. Just telling you what you want to hear. Will be hard but you’ve got this!
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Open a new bank account for your money that he has no access to. If he’s not working and can’t be trusted he doesn’t need access he already proved that. I would send him packing
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Are you waiting for his permission to leave? Go, Go Now. You are enabling him and he is using you as well as taking away from your kids.
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What’s the use of keeping him around other than stress. At this point you cant even trust him to watch the kids
You said it would be hard to do all this with two new borns but you do everything yourself anyway. Pack up, sell the bourse and leave his deadbeat ass. Your stronger than you think
He’s got a drinking problem and you left your kids with him while you worked? 
That sounds super safe… Just kick him out. Problem solved. Not like he does shit anyways. You’ll struggle a lot less without paying for his bullshit.
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It’s time for him to go. File support and visitation , change all of your bank information (close the accts if necc.), tell him to leave, file for any govt assistance you can.
Life will be much easier when you don’t have a lazy active alcoholic and gambler to deal with every day. It’ll be better for the kids too. Sell the house if you really want to it is a sellers market in a lot of places.
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Why on earth would you put him on your bank accounts?
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Why do you keep having kids with this loser? Women can choose what losers they sleep with, children can’t choose their fathers and this is who you’ve set them up with 
Words mean shit, actions mean everything! He’s a lazy, entitled, grown boy child I would be embarrassed to tell people he’s the father of my children and that I’ve been with him for 10 years while he gambled my life savings away.
Yo! He’s not going to change sis. He might get a job but it won’t be a good one and it won’t last. He won’t work on his addictions (gambling/drinking) because he’s shown you clearly that he doesn’t intend on making any effort to, he won’t help around the house, because again, he’s lazy af. 
I divorced my version of this in 2019 before I ever got pregnant THANKFULLY, and shocker, he’s still a loser. I promise you, you’ll feel about 200lb lighter when you get rid of all that dead weight in your house 
P.S. to blame it on your hormones is manipulative AF 
He literally brings NOTHING to your table. Time to start eating alone 
I think you already know you’ve stayed too long and your kids will suffer if you don’t get out.
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Change your account, so he has no access to it , tell him, you did it so you know your bills will be paid and he can’t gamble or drink it away ,see what he reactions is ,
Get rid of him
He’s dragging you & your kids down.
Your kids don’t deserve that.
You cannot allow your kids to suffer bc of him. If you do then you’re allowing this behavior.
Your kids are 1st & he’s not prioritizing.
One thing I learned, men only do what you allow.
No it’s not your fault that he makes these weak decisions, but if you put up with it he will keep doing it and nothing will change.
I’d give him a 30 day eviction notice & I would even feel bad for him.
I’d be hurt but I rather hurt then my kids to be put last.
Take care and prayers to you and your babies.
Run. Take him to court to help support all the kids. Stop Having more kids. Kids should not be brought into a negative environment.
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Sorry you’re going through this. Even just being pregnant with twins isn’t easy. In my point of view, if your spouse isn’t supporting you financially and isn’t helping with anything around the house, they don’t need to be your spouse anymore. Divorce is not cheap! When you can go back to work, save everything you can so you can leave. Start a new bank account with only your name so he can’t drain it
First off, change bank accounts so he has ZERO access.
Second, don’t sell your home, you can present him with 2 options. He moves out, gets sober and a job and if y’all want to work it out, do so. Or, tell him he needs to move out, get an eviction notice for him since he legally lives there, separate and divorce. Don’t give your home up especially with 2 more babies on the way. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, best of luck 
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I know you’re exhausted. I’m tired from just reading all this. You’re raising a man. He’s another child literally you’re taking care of. I was once in a relationship where I was the breadwinner (2 years) and NEVER will I do that again. I don’t know how you’ve done it for 10 years! It’s a man job to be able to PROVIDE for his family.
He’s comfortable because you’re enabling him to be lazy he’s not going to do better because he don’t want to and he knows you will be there by his side.
Please get rid of him. Move if you have to. Use the money from selling your home and start over! It should be enough to sustain you until you get back on your feet after having the babies. Praying for your rest, peace, and happiness. You and your kids deserve better!
Bounce girl, leave! There’s no changing that situation unfortunately, you were better off without him .
W h y d i d y a 'll n o t u s e p r o t e c t i o n. I f i t h a s b e e n g o i n g o n
F o r a w h i l e ? S t a y i n h o u s e
A n d f i l e f o r c h i l d s u p p o r t.
P l u s t h e r e i s a l o t o f
P l a c e s t o g e t h e l p. E v e n
W i t h d a y c a r e. G o o d l u c k.
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Yes I did.
It’s not an easy thing to do, to leave someone, but if you’ve done everything you can such as talking to your partner about all the issues you have & still there is no positive results from those discussions, then he is not going change. You said you’ve been with him for 10 yrs, so in all this time if he’s never lifted a finger to help you out around the house/garden etc, what makes you think he’s suddenly going to change now? If he’s the type to help himself to the bill money without your knowledge then you’re better off without him. Believe me, he’s probably been doing this along time, robbing u blind & making excuses for it. Sounds like he’s already manipulating you by saying you’re over reacting & the rest of the B.S he accuses you of.
So you to stand strong girl 
you need to brave & do this for you & your kids.
First you need to get legal support as you mention that you want to sell your house. You need to find out if by moving out do you lose rights to sale of the house & what your entitlements are especially if you’re not married.
Next you may need to get court orders for intervention order. (Depending if you feel your life or kids life could be at risk.)
Then you need to find a safe place to go too. You can get help through women’s refuges. They will take you & kids, but usually not pets.
Once you find a place to go too, then get a few of your friends together to help you pack up yours & kids stuff. This will be quickest way. Make sure you have plenty of bags or boxes ready.
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U can do it! Set up daycare get some public assistance and save, make a plan and go! If he wants to change he will for u, stop being a stepping stone, if ur unhappy make urself happy and go, if u love the man give him the ultimatum to get a job or go, can u make him leave? Keep ur next moves to urself
Your being an enabler get counseling
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Don’t sell ur house u wouldn’t b able to pay rent these days… a lot of places won’t take single women with kids
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Why have you not changed your bank accounts so he doesn’t have access
Wait till he goes out change the locks and leave his belongings on the step you and your children are more important than his selfish behavior
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You can get a work from home position and be self sufficient. Join the work at home lounge on face book. There is all solid leads on legit wfh positions.
Drop the excess weight. If he’s acting like this now, I don’t foresee any change. Once someone starts a behavior such as this, it’s all a downward spiral from there.
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Question is do you love him? If not, leave.
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RUN 
it’s going to be hard and a struggle but that’s a horrible situation for you and your kids to be in. Get on some assistance until you get on your feet and get your life back. Also girl you poor thing twins with this dude I would have been on some heavy bc if I was with him.
If you have to ask it’s time.
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I say, LEAVE NOW! No regrets girl! You need to look after YOU for you’re babies. Your partner needs to GROW UP!, WITH or WITHOUT YOU! Yes it will be hard if you love him but it won’t be for long. It will probably be the best thing you could do for you and you’re babies. Loves 
Tell him to get it together or get the fuck out. Plain and simple. Change banks so he can’t get into them
You must be exhausted and so stressed . Im so sorry you’re going through this especially while pregnant.
He needs to man up, get help for his addictions and start being a partner instead of an additional child
If he wont turn his life around …
New Bank accounts in your name only
New locks on all doors
Pack his bags and put him out
Maybe it will give him a shock and force him to seek help…or maybe he’ll end up homeless because he’s not got you to carry him.
Either way its his choice and not your fault . You dont need the stress
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Luckily he’s just a bf easier to kick him out since you’re not married. I’d give him 30 days to get his shit together just to be nice and then threaten him with child support to see if he’ll change but honestly if he drinks most of the time he can’t be trusted alone with children
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you know it's time to end a relationship? - Mamas Uncut
As soon as you are able to save up the money, get yourself and your children away from him…DO NOT give him access to any of your accts. Open new ones that he knows nothing about. He clearly did not give any consideration or thought to you and your children when he drained both of your accounts. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself and you and your children need to get away from him
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Sounds like you already know the answer! If you’re looking for validation from others, you don’t need it momma. Do what you need to do, it’s been too long for you to be questioning yourself!
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Leave. Him. Get out!
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U need to run as soon as u can, an apology without changed behavior is Manipulation, this is not a man and u and the babies deserve better
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When you ask the question, you already know.
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When do you know when it’s time to end the relationship? When you post online asking….
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Girl enough is enough take him off your accounts take his cards away, and leave him you done made him too comfortable he don’t and won’t change and he says you are overracting and overthinking because he is taking the blame off of himself and put it back on you…your time is now after you all had a discussion abiyt and expressed your concerns so your time is now
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It’s your house!!, kick him out!!.. open your own account, and girl!!!, get that next check from him first… he gets nothing but gas money to work to give you the next check
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Dump him, dump him now!! Kick his ass to the curb. Why should you have to sell your house you worked so hard for, make him leave immediately. Also, how did he gain access to your accounts? You could possibly take him to court for stealing from you. He needs to go, the sooner the better.
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Why have you given him 10 years of your life? It sounds like he takes and takes without giving anything in return, he is an alcoholic, he doesn’t care about the welfare of his wife or children and if you allow him to stay around, your children could follow in his footsteps. It sounds like they have a good role model in you and although it may be hard to go on without him, it’s hard now going on with him isn’t it?
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You know the answer, only advice I would give is to prepare without him knowing
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If you have to ask how you know it’s time to go…IT’S TIME TO GO.
It sounds to me like you know you need to let go it’s just the matter of making it happen.
Get you ducks in a row and move TF on… this situation will not change
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Do what is best for you and your kids. You said it, stop watering dead flowers…
Only one way to teach him a lesson and that’s kick him out…gotta hit rock bottom to learn. You and the kids deserve way more.
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It’s sounds like he’s mostly just making things harder.
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I feel you know. It’s when you can finally be honest with yourself to say I am done with this
Oh my. I feel like although it would be harder for you, it will eventually be the easier option. As soon as you said you quit your job and your bf got a job spoke volumes to me. This ‘boy’ is only holding you back! You know what you have to do
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Run do not keep giving him money or your the problem not him quit enabling him make him step up
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Know your worth! You don’t need our validation to know this. You can do it!
Being the only Male to comment so far, if he doesn’t make sure the family is financially secure and try and make life easy for you it’s time to go. I was a stay home dad cooked cleaned made her lunches and did side jobs to pay for smokes, beer and build a yard for the kids. Apparently I didn’t do it right but it sounds like he’ll only change when he knows he’s out of forgiveness with you and you’re gone.
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Seems like you’ve answered your own question here. Read it back to yourself and go with your gut.
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I know it hurts to hear but you need to call it quits for your children’s sake and yours mama
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Leave him. He clearly doesn’t “love” you if he drained both accounts. And if he has this issue why the heck would you allow him on them or access to them anyway? Especially when you have TWINS on the way. Either leave or tell him he needs to get his act together or leave. Give him the ultimatum you and the kids or drinking and gambling. If he doesn’t change, leave. Don’t give him an option.
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Two kids and two on the way and he won’t commit, nor contribute? I think you need to analyze yourself first and not worry about him.
You know exactly what you gotta do girl! You have two babies and two on the way a family doesn’t always mean mom and dad together im sorry but you gotta be strong and moverse por on without him. At some point something has got to give.
Time to leave. Time to take care of you and your babies
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This post was directly under yours and i think its too relatable.
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When you have to ask… It’s time to move ahead!!
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If he is not a partner then he is a pet, because he certainly isn’t one of your children…it seems like his sole purpose it to take with no regard for his children or you…that is what a pet does…you love them and take care of them. They are only there for your benefit ,to have something to take care and love…the thing is a pet loves you back, he doesn’t seem to love anyone,but himself…you don’t need him… it will be easier without him, because he will only keep making things harder by continuing to take from you and from the kids
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If your asking hun I think you already know your answer I’m sorry you have had to go through that
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I’m a just be honest with you …being a single parent of twins (they 18 now )this is not the time to leave him…you gone need every hand you can use …I know your tired and frustrated but if you then held on for ten years you can hold a little bit longer …I say that because handling two babies at a time is not for the weak …at least hang on till that 6month postpartum mark and you get a routine down packed then leave or whatever but I’m all about keeping families together
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When a man says he knows he needs to change and makes zero effort to change, especially when yall have been together for 10 years, it’s time to leave, he isnt what’s best for you and the children. Hes putting his gambling and drinking before yall, going behind your back to take your money. Making promises to give you the next paycheck when chances are he wint with those addictions. I’d say it’s time to find something new. Father of your kids or not. He isnt worth staying anymore
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I went through the exact same thing when I was pregnant with my twins as well. I’m sorry that you are going through this. I ended up leaving the relationship when my kids were a year and a half. This was the eye opener he needed to change I left for roughly 6 to 7 months. He made the changes necessary and stopped all his bad habits we have now been back together for 3 years and he hasn’t relapsed. I hope things change for you as well being a mom of twins is not easy especially when you are going through something as difficult as this. My thoughts are with you and I hope everything works out for you.
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Sounds like you’re done…Set boundaries. Cut him off from your finances. He needs to pay for his own bad habits and contribute as a father…I totally hear your frustrations and get it!! If I was in your shoes, id try to maintain a positive coparenting relationship with him and encourage him to do better in a nice way but obviously don’t take his shit… He’s bound to keep being deadweight if he gets talked down to or constantly told what’s he’s lacking…try a loving, positive approach…and if he doesn’t get it together then it’s clear it’s time to move on.
I was married to a man for 20 years who was the father of my 2 youngest kids. I was the one who worked and payed for everything including his drug habits. He would steal my bill money and I struggled for years to have a place to live and food to eat. It was so exhausting but I loved him. No matter how much everyone said that I needed to leave I would let him convince me that he would change or listen to him tell me how awful I would be if I kicked the boys’ father out and how they would hate me for it. Finally I came to a point where I had finally had enough. He had stolen all of the rent money I had that was due the next day. There I was knowing that we were fixing to be homeless and at that moment I realized that if he really loved his sons he would not do something that was going to leave them homeless or without food, he would want to make sure that they were taken care of. I left and never looked back or regretted it. What I did regret was all the years that I wasted on someone that only cared about himself.
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Im kind of in the same situation myself but weve been together for 2 years and he doesnt work and kind of refuses in a way . I would tell him to get his shit together and see what he does . If he doesnt do it , leave .
10 yrs?? Gurrl…That boy knows you ain’t serious on leaving him. He’s had it too cushy for too long. He “knows” you need him to watch the kids… And “hold down” the fort so you can bring in the money. Not saying staying home and watching kids and cleaning isn’t a hard job… but sounds like he’s taking advantage of you big time… excusing my judginess but still …
You are a powerful woman…
Start looking for single mother resources. Change your locks put his sht outside. And don’t communicate unless it’s about his daddy duties. Ignore all his drama and nonsense he’s gonna say.
And do you and you’re babies.
Take the advise that works best for you and run with it.
Actions speak louder. If he ain’t acting on what he says he’ll do. Bye!
Or. Let him know you’re serious. Give a time frame if there are no consistent changes. Then he’s got to go… Sell your house. Buy and Rv cheap. Fix it up. Keep the rest of your money as a nest egg. Fulltime RV life groups all over Facebook. Even just woman groups.
Good luck and hope everything works out the way it’s supposed to for you. 