For my divorced mamas… How did you know it was time to leave?
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When he could still be horrible me while I was carrying our first child. I left for the babies safety I wanted a safe calm upbringing.
I just knew… it was a gut feeling for me anyway.
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If you’re having to ask this question then it’s time!
I left when my 3 year old asked us to stop fighting. It broke something in me, I never realized they heard or understood but they knew more than I realized
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When you have to ask this question. Its time to leave.
I knew a year before I I said “I’m leaving” I just couldn’t deal with the broken promises and the way I got treated any longer. Sometimes it’s for the best
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Every circumstance is different if there is ANY abuse to you or children leave now. If you feel like it’s a lost cause and nothing can fix it. Leave. If there is constant fighting and no working it out. Leave. If it’s only one sided. Leave
When u start asking this question
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When I realized it wasn’t a partnership but me taking care of everything by myself plus the messes they made…
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I left my first when he started using illegal substances and getting abusive.
I left my second due to communication issues and alcoholism. My second husband and I were together many years and we both had fault with the communication. There were other issues that played into it but I left due to those two reasons.
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If your askin’ it’s time…
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I left number one, because I could take the physical abuse, black eyes, bloody nose, and some hearing loss, but when it came to not having enough food for my 2 children. And the kids eating corn flakes with water because they didn’t have milk ,( I have witness to that) I new it was tome to take children and go. My 2nd and I were married for almost 50 years before he passed away. We worked together it wasn’t always easy, but no physical abuse, food always on the table
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When you ask strangers online
I knew when I asked myself this very same question, told him that same day. That was November of 2017, my divorce was finalized May 2018. If you’re questioning it, leave.
When you’re basically a single parent doing everything yourself anyways. Getting rid of the adult child is weight off your shoulders!!
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When he cheated. I realized he didn’t respect me & never would. If you’re asking this question, you’re probably done.
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I knew about a year in. I was convinced to stay. I knew 5 years in, my children were my reason for staying. I knew at year 10 after a night from hell. Then at year 11 I plucked up the courage and left for myself.
No one can tell you when the right time is.
However, I made plan. Once I decided I was tired of being used up, and then neglected, I got a job and my own checking account. It took 11 months, but I left and my life has been so much better. Not easy, because it’s not by any means, but I’d rather struggle than unalive myself and leave my kids with only him as a moral compass for the rest of their lives. In other words, he lost.
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If you’re questioning it, it’s probably time.
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When the bad out weighs the good!
Are you happier with him or without him? Is there more joy or pain in the relationship?
I’d suggest couples counseling first to see if things can get better. In any case, it can help clarify your situation to have an outside, disinterested person’s perspective.
Think hard about how you will be able to survive without his income, medical coverage, and how much you will have to do to earn enough to live. If you get 50/50 custody you get little to no child support, but he’s still paying to support the kids when they’re with him. If you wind up with child support, could you survive if he doesn’t pay for a month or two?
Don’t tip your hand and give him the chance to clean out the bank account or transfer assets. Get statements from all marital assets so you have proof of how much value was in each, including the value of your house/condo/other property and cars if applicable.
You may be well equipped to leave with half the assets (and half the debt accrued during the marriage is yours too), but plan your exit carefully.
Consult a lawyer, research where you can live if neither of you can afford your current living quarters on your own. Contact a women’s center and/or other resources to see what steps you should take to stay safe, find county, state and federal help if needed, and options for medical+ coverage if needed.
Even if you decide to stay in the marriage, this info is good to know. Expect the best, plan for the worst.
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When he choked me in front of our son while saying he was going to kill me
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When the bullshit is a bigger pile then the time you’re willing to invest, and if you’re asking the pile is already bigger
When you have to ask yourself this question.
You should never have to wonder if this and/or that type of crap is justifiable to leave the person
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When I started dreaming (specifically day dreaming) of him dieing in a horrible accident and didn’t feel like crying. Then when I was told a second job was taken not because it was needed but so that he didn’t have to be home bothered by me or the kids.
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I knew when my four year old asked me “why was daddy so mean to me” and then the day he called me the c word in front of our kids and I slapped him in the face. Usually once you start questioning it. It’s time to go.
The day I became as disgusting of a human being as he did I knew it was time to go
I left after he said…Who cares if you leave.