How do you know when it’s your last baby? So I have 3 kids with one on the way. I just turned 35. Like I want to be done but also I don’t. No judgement plz just some advice. (Not to add I have c sections due to failure to progress, this will be my 4th but I also have zero complications during them).
13 Likes
That’s a hard decision. In a way easy for me to do a tubal had a son, then a daughter but last pregnancy was so high risk I said ok have boy and girl I’m good. I’m not as much help mine was also based my body wouldn’t handle another pregnancy
I’ve also had four sections. I knew I was dome when I asked them to check my tubes and my window and was told everything inside is fine, but my uterine window was really thin and that if I chose to have another child, I would be considered extremely high risk. I would have to stay on strict bed rest and that I may not be able to carry to term without complications.
You just know in your mind and heart. I turned 35 too 10 days after I had my babygirl. I just had my 3rd. 2 boys and now have my babygirl. I feel complete. If I won the lotto, then I would have a 4th 
all of my babies c section too. The last one was fantastic highly recommend my OBGYN and hospital in Dallas tx.
When the thought of one more literally made me shudder…
My 3rd was alot more full on than the other 2 and I had had 3 in 3 years. I was physically and mentally exhausted.
I don’t really think you ever get the I’m done feeling,I’m 72 and I wish I had had more kids,I had 2,due to complications couldn’t have any more,.I had friends/family that had multiple kids,when that last baby turned 2or 3 the wanting started up.You have to decide that’s it and stick to it,its hard ,the idea will always be there
3 Likes
I thought I was done after 5 kids but 8 yrs later here comes number 6 and she’s due in October and I’m 38 I know I’m done by the way body is during this pregnancy I know it’s time to be done I don’t think I could do it again in my 40’s
1 Like
I have four kids, and have had 3 miscarriages. I came to the conclusion that I was done having children after having my last one. My 3 oldest are very easy going teens now, and have been since birth with easy pregnancies for them. My last pregnancy was my absolute worst. Iwas sick for 7 and a 1/2 months And labor and delivery was an absolute pain. My son is now 5 and a 1/2 And we are now starting to deal with bad behaviors. I made the conscientious choice to not have any more children as I know, I have my hands full with my youngest and want to provide him with the best life possible.
I knew with my third baby that she would be my last. There were 8 yrs between the second one and the third one.
Had 1 then got pregnant 2 other times an couldn’t have them due to health problems an said nah I’m getting my tubes out
I had wanted more than one. But God only gave me one daughter. I never used birth control.
I’ve had one and I know for a fact I’m done . I had complications though but my mind and body basically told me no more lol . Just the thought of another one brings me too a complete panic attack.
1 Like
I stopped after my second son. My boys are 2 years apart and that was enough for me. Didn’t think I had the energy, patience or money for anymore than 2, so I got my tubes tied right after I gave birth to my second son. I now have 2 incredible grandsons 
Mother nature decided. My son (26 in 9 days), was a total unplanned shock. Loooooning story but such an incredible gift God gave me that I didn’t know I needed. Never again did I ever get pregnant even though at one point I was actively trying so that my son (with autism) would have a sibling. He definitely was meant to be mine and is the sweetest gentle giant in the world.
1 Like
Over the age of 35 your chance of having twins increases. Just a little information that was never shared with me…until I had twins at 39…
When they say “you’ll know when you’re done.” I think it’s true. I am pregnant with number four now due in October and I know I’m done. I honestly think this is the family/kids I was meant to have and I feel done. I don’t want any more I have two boys and two girls and I truly couldn’t imagine having more…
1 Like
This will be the last, it took almost 8 years to get pregnant again…my oldest are 15 and almost 14, "non bio kiddos 11 and almost 9.
When we conceived twins naturally! After that, we both got fixed! Not chancing that again! 3 is enough for us!
After I had twins I asked the dr to donate my uterus to somebody who couldn’t have kids because it worked great I was 25 she said your too young and beautiful. No issues until the end when I had pre-eclampsia oh throwing up until 6 months. But easy pregnancy. Well 6 years later after I got rid of everything baby related I got pregnant with my youngest I was 33 my body said no more migraines kidney stones severe pain I was like never again. He’s 8 now and still nobody will take my uterus out.
When you still think about it … You aren’t done. I just had baby number 3 6 months ago and the thought of him having a brother close in age makes me consider it despite the pain and recovery I have a wonderful partner that helps every step of the way . Although I can’t guarantee it… we still consider it .My husband and I spoke about surgery after this child and then we decided to wait it out since we are under 35. We didn’t want to regret it . We will see what our future holds and leave it in gods hands . Honestly , It’s a hard and personal choice because it will be permanent.
Ps you shouldn’t care what anyone says . If you have the money and time to raise multiple kids that’s between you and your partner not anyone else . If they aren’t taking care of your kids or feeding them who the hell cares.
1 Like
For me, it was the fact that people will babysit one but not two so I’ve not had any me time in 3 years and I think for some people for your own mental health you need a break, I also find it alot harder with two so now my youngest is starting nursery I am looking forward to 2 days a week for me.
You just know. I knew and don’t regret getting my tubes done at all. I love having older kids.
1 Like
Well I was told I could never have kids when I was 16 due to medical complications when I was younger. So I accepted I was never having kids. At 19 I married someone who didn’t want kids. At 20 I found out I was pregnant. I was a high risk pregnancy due to my existing medical complications. I had never felt better than when I was pregnant. Even considered having more kids…but when the 8th month came, something just clicked inside me that said I was content with having just the one. I had a C-section and asked the doctor to tie my tubes and I was told no because
- I didn’t have more then 3 kids
- I wasn’t at least 40 yrs old
- I hadn’t been married at least 10 yrs to the same person
- I didn’t have my husband’s written consent.
I’m 32 and I haven’t had any more kids. I still have the option, but I’m content with my son and how our life (just him and I) has worked out. I just felt at peace. I didn’t feel like something/someone was missing from my life.
I knew after my four DAUGHTER I was done but I now regret having my tubes done because I never got the chance to have a son but my oldest is sixteen my youngest is 3 years old all girls u just know when ur done
I have 3, my youngest is 10 months and I’m already so sad and feeling like I need just one more.
Hun if you want to stop having kids
Do it
It sounds like you already have your hands full
I have 4 and thought I was done. But it makes me cry to think my last is my last. I don’t feel complete or my family complete. We plan on having one more in a couple years. The number 5 sits right with me. My family is also blended. The first 2 are from exs, my other two from my husband, and he adopted my second child (my oldest Dad is active in her life). I’ve always wanted a big family and have an amazing husband who loves our children and is supportive of another.
I wanted a girl. Got my girl. Done
That’s an awful lot of scar tissue if you’ve had 4 sections. I’ve had 2 and have been told a 3rd section could cause my uterus to burst… that stopped me from more…
I never had this choice or option but I am so happy I was blessed with one. She is amazing and makes my heart full. If I could have had more when I was younger I would have had 2 kids
Your body and mind will tell you that you are done. I was done after 2 but then my boyfriend and I talked and we wanted 1 more so now I have 3 kids and after she was born I knew I was done. I couldn’t handle any more than 3 and my body also knew I couldn’t handle being pregnant again. If you believe you want more and believe you can do it, then go for it! If you know in your heart and your body that you are done, then be done. I got my tube’s removed so I know I can’t have anymore. 
My 3rd I was 30. Knew second I got pregnant that’s it. I don’t want to be responsible for another baby/toddler after my last and I knew it so I’m fixed
I just had my 3th in May my 1st C-section after 3 all natural unmedicated births, 1st girl after 2 boys. Ages 6 (7in Nov), 2(3 in Nov), 1 (2 in Feb) and 3 months. She came emergency C-section due to arriving at hospital fully dilated attempting not to push and she was breech coming out butt first toes to nose. I 100% don’t want any more babies. I’ve had some sort of complications each time…my oldest I hemorrhaged quite bad, my 2nd I had a miscarriage and ruptured ectopic that I lost my left tube with and nearly died from (Dr didn’t even know if he was going to be able to save me) within a 4 months period before finally conceiving him, they had to break my waters with him even though I was dilating along fine it was blocking him from coming out, my 3rd the waters were in front of him again needing broke, then the C-section this time. I don’t think my body could handle another pregnancy especially with last 3 only having 15 months between each birth.
You unequivocally just know and be certain.
There are many reasons you can choose to be done from space available in the home, finances, age, difficulty in pregnancy and delivery, medical advice but knowing is just knowing and I don’t think you can explain how you know.
Idk how to explain it, I just knew. I was 29 and stopped after baby 3.
After my last baby (I have 2 boys) I just sort of decided. I’m 34. I want to enjoy life with my husband when my boys are grown and on to do other things.
My last one was hard and my body barely made it. So there’s that.
But more importantly, I feel content with my two healthy happy boys.
I always wanted 3… 2 girls and a boy thats exactly what I wanted…I never liked being pregnant so when baby #3 came I never once hesitate to get my tubes tied…I am 43 now all kids are over 18 and you couldn’t pay me enough to start all-over again.
Felt the same. It’s you hormones. Once baby is here wait about 6 months and then ask yourself if you want another. Felt the same until my twins hit about 4 months and knew no more
If you were done you would know. If you’re considering it just do it! 
you’re both on board, so why not?
4 Likes
You would know if you were done
If you’re unsure you’re not done
3 Likes
Totally agree with Lisa, you just KNOW when you’re done. If you’re unsure then you’re not.
I am currently pregnant with no #6 and girl I’m so done 
I couldn’t imagine falling pregnant again, I don’t want to have to look after another newborn after this little one, the idea of starting again at the beginning gives me anxiety and stresses me out. This last little bundle of heartburn and joy is my last bubba, my heart agrees, my body without a 2nd thought agreed and my head can see the logic in the two agreeing and agrees also.
You. Just. Know… it’s really a weightless feeling of relief and complete peace.
3 Likes
Like what has been said. If you were done you’d know for certain!
If you have to think about it, your not done lol.
Crunch the numbers including sports uniforms, Halloween costumes, school & sports activity fees and any enrichment classes from tutoring to ballet to swim classes yo baseball clinics to pool memberships.
Do you both work outside the home? What would happen if one of you were out of work for 6 months? Be sure to budget for that.
Think about navigating the teenage years, and what kind of post high school education might multiple kids need, and how much would you want to financially contribute to that?
What’s on your bucket list? What do you want to do as empty nesters? Will either you or your husband need/want additional education, and how much should you budget for that? Do you want to travel?
What happens if you get divorced? Be sure you have enough money for a good lawyer stashed away just in case. You never know what the future holds. If you never need to use it, great! But if you do, you won’t be as financially trapped.
How much help does your husband provide with the kids? If it’s all on your shoulders, maybe think twice about more kids. Are the 4- and 5-year-old in preschool?
Are either of you at risk for illnesses (diabetes, heart disease, cancer, dementia, etc.) based on family health history? Might want to put some $$ away for health expenses for in your middle or senior years. Invest it now so it’ll grow over time.
You’re still so young. Maybe wait until you’re 25 and then decide.
1 Like
I keep seeing something that says you will never regret having another child if you’re on the fence but you might someday regret not having another. I believe that is totally true
1 Like
Think about how you’d react if you took a pregnancy test and it was positive. Would you be happy and excited? Or would you be scared and unsure?
I think you just know. We have 4 boys and pregnant with a girl and my husband and I both said we are done. This pregnancy has took me down and we both said they ain’t no way we can go through it again.
The fact that you’re entertaining the idea is proof you’re not done.Have the baby.When you’re done having babies you will definitely know.
1 Like
I’d go over all the logistics… quality of life for all involved, daycare cost to consider… what you all do for work, and in your free time… do you have the health for another… energy to handle a 3rd… if you both have good responses for all… can afford it I would say why, go for it… it will be fine either way… personally would love another but God had other plans, just have to learn to live with it… I have the daughter I so badly prayed for so I’ll be okay!
1 Like
You just kind of know you’re done. You’ll add another baby and then your body feels like your family is perfect and complete. If you’re both on board I say do it.
Had my baby 11 years ago I was 25 fast forward to now I am 37 weeks pregnant at 35 … hubby and I never thought we were done 11 years ago but life gets in the way you buy a house and next thing you know 11 years past … best decision we have ever made to have one more … my girls are currently 15,13,13,11 so a age gap for sure !!!… would not have it any other way ! Less than 3 weeks till we meet baby girl number 5 !
You will know when you are done. You ain’t done yet cause if you were you wouldn’t even be thinking of maybe another kid. You would say like he’ll I’m not having anymore and you will keep thinking that
My parents made the decision based on what was affordable. They wanted us to be able to play sports and/or instruments,etc, and to be able to attend university. My Mom wanted more but in the end they stopped at two. However, they did take in foster children which gave them more kids without added financial pressures and they were able to help a lot of kids.
2 Likes
You’re not done if you’re wavering this much. You will absolutely know when you’re done. No one can tell you how you’ll know because everyone’s journey is different but you will just know. Also if you are still this young and not completely 100% decided it will be really hard to get a Dr to sign off on and perform a tubal at least in the US and if you choose that route for permanent BC.
I was 19 I had my first one which is a girl then at 21 I had my second one which is a boy. I was definitely done having kids tied my tubes because of c section I was afraid to go thru it again with no help and a lot of pain. My first marriage was a nightmare and very painful and messy.
Divorced. 10 years later, my current husband want kids so untied my tubes, had my third child which is boy at age 30 then age 33 I had my biggest surprise 4th child which is boy unexpectedly. Now this time I am definitely done having babies because I had multiple babies that they all didn’t make it( lost twin boys 2006, lost quads girls 2009, lost twin girl and boy 2012, lost 2 babies that they were triplets which is my 4th child who survive thru my pregnancy 2013, lost single baby 2015 and 2017thru my tubes tied but found out missing one tube isn’t tied so I’m on iud for the second time now. I’m grandma now I have 2 grandkids.
We started to enjoy our children’s independence and this stage in our life. We also looked at what things cost and what we want to be able to do for our children. I absolutely could have had another and been happy with that choice, but I’m also really happy with my two and where we are as a family.
Pregnant with 3rd knew I wanted this to be my last. He’s 4 tomorrow I got fixed day he was born . Very happy about it.
When i was done, there was no question in my mind.
With how my second pregnancy has been going I’m done 
if I started in my twenties maybe I’d go for three but everything is so expensive now and I’m 34 and I want to be able to afford to stay home and raise the kids
You’ll know.I have 7(4 earth side)and,Im done.I love my children and to be honest,I am struggling money wise.I just started back to work so,things should be better soon.I am also enjoying not having to deal with a screaming baby,being able to get up and go and not have to worry about packing a diaper bag.
1 Like
I’m 36 and contemplated “just one more” if I ever got married again. I have 3 already and started dating someone in March. I’m now 29 weeks pregnant with my 4th and final. It wasn’t timed the way I would’ve planned, but I know 100% that this baby is the last one. I’ve always heard, “You may always regret not having one more but you will never regret having one more.”
1 Like
If you’re questioning it then you’re not done
 There should be no question in your mind
I just knew. After the last one (I had my 3rd at age 29), I was just done physically, mentally and financially lol. Got my tubes tied after and no regrets almost 18 years later.
I think women occasionally want one more. I have 3 bio kids. 6 step kids and let me tell you, I still think about 1 more. But I’ve had a hysterectomy so that’s a no
Like everyone else has stated, you honestly just know. I knew when I had my first that I definitely wanted a sibling for him. I knew before I ever got pregnant with my second, that would be my last. I only ever wanted two children. Everyone has a different ending point. You know how much you can handle and afford.
Give it some time. I had my babies young is 22 and 23. Was sure I was done. But now mine are older. I’m like… one more! Lol