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QUESTION:
"We split up in July, got back together and moved in together in October. We were together 4 years, 3 kids together. During the course our our relationship, he has done things to intentionally hurt me repeatedly. I thought we were doing good when we moved back in together. But now I have all this doubt and don't trust him. He tells me he's going to the store, but in my mind, im obsessing if he's really at the store or if he's with someone else. Or when his phone goes off, if it's another girl. How did you cope with this? Should I just leave again? I was so much happier without this. I love him so much, but idk how to move on from the pain he caused me."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You have to choose if it’s something you can move past. It takes time to rebuild trust, it’s something he has to be willing to do. & sometimes when trust is broken like that, it’s just something you can’t get over. You can always try to make it work by having him do things that would help you earn his trust back, or you can just simply leave. I know it’s hard when you love the person, but just remember your worth."
"Where there’s no trust there’s nothing, instead of worrying everytime he leaves the door, I suggest u to leave, no matter how much it hurts now, u will see in the future u will be grateful u left when u did"
"Relationships are founded on trust. Time to end it before both sides get hurt more."
"Leave that would drive u insane"
"If you made the decision to get back together then you already decided to forgive him. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of time. You need to have this talk with him. Let him know you’re not ok and there is damage from his past behavior. If he isn’t willing to SHOW you he’s making changes, then you’re better off without him. Constantly worrying will ruin it again. It will make you sick. You shouldn’t have to live like that. Actions always speak louder than words. Have a serious conversation and then watch what he does. That’s where you’ll find your answer"
"Girl just leave and find a man who won’t make you feel insecure like that"
"You can love someone, but that doesn’t mean that they’re good for you. By going back, and staying, you’re subjecting yourself to unnecessary stress. Once trust is broken, it’s nearly impossible to get back. What he has done will always be in the back of your mind. If he has lied before, you’ll never be able to completely know if he’s being honest with you or not."
"Once the trust is gone there’s nothing left trust me. If you’re not happy then it’s time to leave cause if you’re unhappy you’re can’t be the best mom you can be and kids feel the slightest difference trust me I know. Don’t just stay together cause of the kids cause in the end the kids will pay for it one way or another."
"Once the foundation of trust is broken those thoughts will always haunt the back of your mind. Sound like it is time to just let go. You already said it you were SO much happier without him…Do what will make you happy. Walking on eggshells or living with an uneasy mind is NOT worth it."
"I would leave the relationship. You have 3 kids together and he still chose to do things to hurt you. Life is too short to have to worry about if they are faithful or going to hurt you in some way."
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