How do you love yourself after becoming a mom?

How do you love yourself after becoming a mom? And I mean truly start loving yourself. Backstory…I remember as a kid comments from my dad when I wrote sweatpants to school on a Friday (girls don’t wear that unless playing sports) and if my hair was up (girls did their hair and were beautiful every day) and so many more but im keeping it as short as I can. Honestly hes not in my life anymore but now even after getting married to someone who loves and adores me (calls me beautiful constantly, reassures me how much he loves me) we have 2 beautiful boys together so I’ve gained like 30 or 40 lbs since we met tbh. But I really wake up in the morning and hate myself and my looks so damn much and I need suggestions/advice on how to change how I view myself. I’ve tried counseling and was on medication for depression etc nothing has really helped. Maybe I wasn’t ready to love myself then but I would honestly love to wake up with confidence in myself and just need some suggestions I guess on where/how to start doing that!


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you love yourself after becoming a mom?

What made me feel better was going to the gym for an hr at least 4 days a week, and eating healthy and only twice a day. Once you start losing weight you will feel confident again. You can do it just set your mind to it. It’s a process and doesn’t happen over night, but stick to it and you will be happy!

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I’m the one in red hair at my brother’s wedding, I have days where I think damn I’m fat and ugly and then days where I think, for having 4 kids I don’t look too bad. I was at my goal weight years ago when I found out I was pregnant with my fourth and last baby with the help of Herbalife shakes and watching the foods I ate. It’s all mind over matter, but everyone I’m sure has days they don’t like themselves.

Medication won’t change the tape in your head.
Decide what you want and do it. The issue will be loving yourself enough to do the work. So, get a buddy to hold you accountable. My daughter is mine and whew, she is my child. :upside_down_face::joy:
YT has yoga and tai chi videos to start at home. Walk at a park. Jog. Find a mom groups that stay busy. Workouts at home are easier but make sure you get out in the world some.
Change the way you talk to yourself. Every time you go negative, stop and say something good about yourself OUT LOUD. Every. Single. Time. I don’t care if you say “I have cute toe nails”, anything. Your brain has been trained one way and now you must retrain it. :black_heart::black_heart:


Find one positive thing about yourself each day. Whether it’s your eyes your hair, hair color, eyelashes, your butt, the way you look in a certain outfit. Compliment yourself on it. Out loud in the mirror or in your head. Once you love that one thing find another and work from there

You bore two beautiful babies. Your body isn’t going to be exactly the same as it was before. Your body was a vessel and carrier’s get banged up some for the voyage. You can try walking around the block at least once every other day.

You created two humans with your body. That in itself is amazing. Every day, look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful, you’re amazing, you are strong. It seems silly at first but once you do this for a while, you will start to believe it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We are our own worst critics. I hated myself for so long I didn’t think I’d ever be able to look in the mirror and say “I love you” but I can now. And you can too. Focus on all the good things, the positive things. They are there. Sometimes you have to really look hard to find them but once you do, you’ll realize how amazing you truly are.

Going to the gym first thing in the morning has helped me tremendously! Not for weight loss, but I feel better all day long on the days I go. I’m 215lbs & feel better about myself (most days) than I did 40-50lbs lighter. And this may sound silly, but reading positive quotes has helped me too

Constant and consistent positive affirmations. Follow body positive folks only. Highly recommend The Birds Papaya. Love yourself exactly as you are. Every part of you is beautiful. Changing the way you look will NOT make you love yourself. Your weight, your body, there is nothing wrong with any of that. It’s the brainwashing and the trauma. You are so beautiful. You are so worthy. Exactly as you are right now. Also recommend Alicia Macarvell, Denae Mercer, Tess holiday, Elisa Meyers, jefferey Marsh.

Your problem is not that you do not love yourself , you just do not like your appearance right now and that is completely NORMAL after we have kids , there’s a lot of stuff that can make you feel different and comfortable enough with your self.
You need to find some time for yourself , try to join the gym , or exercise at your house , go out and walk/ run daily, try to eat healthy,even if you will stay home take a shower , do your hair , put a little make up on, go get your nails done, get a new haircut and maybe even change your hair color, buy some new clothes etc.
Your body will probably not look the same and that is Oky , just do not let your self go

Wear all your nice clothes, do your hair and make up pretty daily. It will eventually come you just have to put the effort into yourself

Idk if your religious but I would turn to your God, if so. Sounds like a lesson in honoring and loving your temple. Speak kindly to yourself and you will start to believe those truths! Good luck momma! :heart::heart::heart:

l Get paid over $121 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $19631 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Go to This.

Wake up pray get up dress up and show up. Enjoy your life and don’t let your father live in your head. God bless

Exercise. Honestly it’s one of the best antidepressants and it helps to get you back to where you want to be. An hour a day 5 days a week. You’ll start to feel better inside and in a few months you’ll see some changes to your body.
Your body made humans from scratch. Itll take time to love and appreciate it

Honestly I’d join a gym. Best decision I ever made. I love my body now more than ever before :blush:

Look at your kids… enough reason to love yourself

Start walking. Going for walks is very therapeutic. I’ve struggled with my weight the majority of my life. On top of that, I have PCOS, so very hormonal, sluggish and often just feel, for lack of better description, ugly. However, I find that when I start walking (on a consistent basis) I feel much better about myself. I’m happier, more confident and have more energy. Studies have shown that walking can have an overall positive effect on your body.