How do you manage as a single mother?

Does any other single mama with no dad in the picture feel like you have to over compensate for the fact that Daddio isn’t in the picture?


Yes! & the kids are now 10, 13 & 17 & I STILLLL try my best to make up for what’s lacking. The additional family get togethers my kids don’t get invited to. The gifts they don’t get on holidays/birthdays. The guilt never goes away, but it WILL get easier. You get used to it :pinched_fingers: You’re going to be ok, I promise!

Yes. I relate so much to this. But I have learned overtime I can’t fix it. I can’t make their dad step up. I can only focus on raising them to be and choose better. Kids crave structure and discipline. I’ve learned this recently with my boys the more structure and rules I give them and follow through with the more they thrive. It doesn’t mean they don’t test their boundries as all kids do, but I don’t need to be trying to over compensate for their dad not stepping up. I need to raise them the same way I would with or without the help of their dad.

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I’ve honestly never felt like I’ve had to “overcompensate”, but it does get bloody exhausting and challenging.

I made a decision that I can only do my utmost best…it’s that’s person weight to carry…the weight of conscious…
All i know is i do my best everyday…furthermore…it is what it is

Always. I feel guilty 24/7. I want so bad for my daughter to not feel the hole in her heart that I can clearly see that I do anything I can to keep her mind occupied but I know it will never be what she needs. But I do know she’s healthy, happy and taken care of and that’s all that matters and I can ease her hurt.

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been there.
you’re doing your absolute best :blue_heart:

I used to. Dad was abusive AF and I won sole custody and he had visitation rights but never showed so they were terminated. He took off when son was 9 months and during visitations and until my son was about 7 I felt I had to pull double and triple duty. He just has me. No dad, no grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins (he does but they all come from estranged troubled histories) so I was trying to do it all. He is now 10 and ive apologized about him not having more then me and if he wants I can try brining these people into his life for a relationship and he just hugged me and said “mom I know who matters. It’s who shows up for me everyday without being asked” and he walked away. It broke my heart and made me happy too. Because I am there for EVERYTHING no matter what. And I make it all happen and he sees that, he maybe doesn’t fully get it but he sees it. I’m there so much other kids in his classes come up and say hi mom because they don’t have anybody showing up. I used to feel like a complete failure 24/7 but I got a little easier on myself and somedays I still struggle feeling exhausted being the only one there but I would be there even if there was more family anyway

I had a mom, she abandoned me when I was 8. My parents were divorced (I was a very sick baby and their marriage couldn’t take it) and Mom had two more babies with my stepdad and she dropped me at my dad’s for my 3 days and never came back. I’m 31 and it still kills me to this day, what did I do wrong that she loved my sister’s and kept them even after she divorced their dad but didn’t keep me. When I was 16 I reached out because I needed to know and the answer cut like a knife but once I heard her answer, I knew I didn’t do anything wrong and I’ve learned to do better and be there. I spent many day waiting for my mom to show up for my even at regular pick up time from school and I didn’t have support or compassion from my dad or stepmom, but I learned in time it’s their loss, not mine