Moms… how do you manage to make it through the week with no help. My hubby and I both work 40-59 hours a week, we have 3 kids and all the duties. I do 100% of the house work, I do 98% of the cooking, I do all the laundry, laying clothes out each night for all of us, I pack the bags for school, etc. how do you make it through without resenting your significant other for not helping at all
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If I’m doing everything, I might as well be single. We both work, we both clean, we both cook and we both raise kids. Otherwise, I’m resenting my spouse.
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Have you communicated this to your husband? He will continue not helping you as long as you allow it. Sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. Work out a way to divide chores up. If the kids are old enough there’s no reason why they can’t help with chores. Draw up a chores chart for the kids( and maybe husband too).
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If you don’t talk this out with you spouse and he can understand where you are coming from and decide to do his share of the chores,you will end up resending him
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Tell him or stop doing it
I think hubby is old enough to pick out his own clothes. Stop doing everything. Let it pile up and when he sees it tell him you need help.
You teach the kids to do their part.
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He’s going to have to end up helping you or you’re going to have to just be at peace with how things are. You should probably look into seeing a family therapist. Maybe your spouse will feel less defensive if you suggest therapy. Your husband is either completely clueless or He’s happy you’re doing everything
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Children old enough for school are old enough for chores, even little tasks if the kids are little. Husbands and children should be capable of laying out their own clothes. A man is able to do housework and raise children.
You don’t manage it, you stop it.
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First, start training your children to do basic housekeeping. Everyone should know how to do laundry. Even a 6 year old. Husband and kids should be able to lay out their own clothes. You might have to check a few weeks, then they are on their own. Children can pack their own lunches at a young age and they will pack what they will actually eat. My daughter never liked sandwiches but would eat meat, cheese, and crackers. My boys, when they were in high school wouldn’t even think of eating a packed lunch, they waited until they got home to eat. You’re doing all the cooking? Ok. Hubby and or kids do all the cleanup. It seems like you may have inadvertently enabled your family to rely on you doing everything. It may take awhile to change , but baby steps add up to major changes
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Honestly … concentrate on kids and there stuff if the hobby’s clothes don’t get washed or some of the house work doesn’t get done that’s ok… if he kicks up a fuss tell him to get off his ass and help more… if he is one of those who doesn’t know what to do to help write lists of things that need to be done every day/night and put it on the fridge… if that doesn’t help then seek counseling. Kids are hard and I know I could t do it all by myself so I wouldn’t dream of anyone else doing it
Ask for help. Write down all the chores and ask him to pick half. Decide which chores the kids can do and let them choose and divvy them up. Everyone can do their own laundry, put away their clothes and lay them out for the next day. Take turns in the kitchen including the kids, supervised. Frozen pizza and a bagged salad is do-able for kids if you help with the oven. Or do a charcuterie board with cold canned green beans with a splash of olive oil and vinegar.
Have family meetings weekly to assess chores & any other issues that come up. We find having an object for the speaker to hold is helpful: if you don’t have the object Raq to hold Post a chore chart (you & hubs too)) and award gold stars for completion. It’s surprisingly motivating even for adults and will make the family realize how much you do and how little they do (or did).
I struggled with this ALOT. My 7 year old assists by helping make beds (they like to tear them apart and play “ghost” with the Sheetz and blankets), picking up majority of toys at end of each day (I don’t bother with cleanup throughout the day as having 2 toddlers it’s completely pointless), and cleaning up and garbage around the house at end of each day or as e sees it. My 3 year old recently decided he wants to help set the table, clean up table, and assist in washing dishes. My 2 year old does what the others do as he’s still learning.