I have a 5 year old daughter and a newborn baby really don’t get any help how do you mom’s do things around your home with children so far apart in age I have severe anxiety and trying to figure things out it’s not coming natural to me having two kids.
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Do what you can when you can. If you have a partner they MUST help, if not…they are not a partner
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I feel this. I have a 6 year old and a 6 month old and the transition from 1 to 2 has shocked me my partner works alot so feel the same as you
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Mine are 10 years apart. I do most of the work… not easy but worth it
Get the 5 year old to help! Have them keep the baby occupied while you do a task. My oldest 2 are 5 years apart and my oldest LOVED being mommies helper. I’ve always been a single mom so this is just what happened
I have 5 kids aged 15, 14, 12, 11, and 4. You can imagine what it was like when the older 4 were so young. Best advice is to forget the dishes or toys on the floor sometimes. Play or just cuddle with them. I alway thought it sounded so cheesy to say that but it is so true.
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One to 2 was hard. It’s a shock. I remember thinking there was literally no way I could do it
I now have 4, almost 5.
It’ll all work out mama!
Hang in there!
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I had the same problem mine are 4.5 years apart. Just do what you can in little bits at a time. Don’t worry if you don’t get things spotless or miss a room.
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I have the same age gap and my husbands help when he’s not at work is a god send otherwise when I do stuff around the house I use to just leave her in her exersaucer or bouncy while I done house work and I’d bring her walker outside with me when I do washing. Now she’s 1 and she follows me around the house while I clean and I sit her on the grass while hanging out washing 
seems hard at first but you will find what works for you. All the best!
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I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old. Their dad works in the oilfield 1 month away 1 week home so I do everything alone. it’s far from easy & most days I wanna pull my hair out!! But you got this! The only time I have to actually clean clean is during naps while my oldest is at school, & after they go to bed.
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I have four kids, ages 14, 11, 9 and 4. And to be honest, there’s no right answer or advice. You just do it. Your mom magic kicks in and it just comes together. Having a great support system is the best advice I can offer, and letting the big kid “help” as much as possible is a lifesaver.
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Do things when baby is sleeping if the older child is in school do things then. When child is home have her help do things with you. I used to have to carry my son in 1 arm to do things. Not everything needs to be done in 1 day.
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Prioritise hon . The house work will be there tomorrow . Do what’s important and necessary the other things I had a check list and did one each day etc till I found I could keep up . Don’t be too hard on yourself xo
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Having a routine day to day really helps find your balance.
I don’t. My house is a mess. My hair is a mess. It’s 4 in the afternoon and I’m still in pj’s and all I’ve accomplished is unloading the dishwasher and wiping down the counter and filling the sink full of water that will be nasty and cold and irritate me by the time I get around to actually washing the dishes… When you have a newborn it’s almost impossible to get anything done. Get what you can without stressing yourself out and enjoy that new baby and your bigger kid. Chores will still be there tomorrow.
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I have 3 2year old 4 year old and 6 year old it’s hard oh and baby on way in August and father doesn’t help
I have a 4 year old and new born. My 4 year old goes to preschool half the day and that gives me time to do stuff around the house. I focus on cleaning a different area every weekday. And I now only do grocery pick up
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My momma took care of us girls we were a year apart that was the first three then four years later my middle sister came then when I was eleven my baby sister was born my daddy was in the Military and there was no family around my momma didn’t get a break she raised all of us on Military pay
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I have a 4 year old and new born. My 4 year old goes to preschool half the day and that gives me time to do stuff around the house. I focus on cleaning a different area every weekday. And I now only do grocery pick up
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Just all about schedule and finding a balance that works for you.
I do what I can/could. I now have 4 girls. I have a now 12, 10 (split time with their dad we are divorced. They are 23 months apart. 06/09 & 05/11) I also have a 3yr and 3 month old (3yrs and 2days apart 01/19 & 01/22) the older ones help if asked (they have 2 more sisters and a brother at dads 7 and under) and they keep the upstairs clean thats where there room is and they do cat litter and feed and water cats when they are here(and they put away their own laundry). The rest is on me I like it my way (hell do dishes if I ask or whatever but I like things where I put them and so on). I work 6p-12a 5-6 x a week. Boyfriend works 5x a week (7a-4p 45 min drive)
I have too 3 year Olds and a 6 year old, I have them help me. I always tell them I am your mom not your made you made the mess you clean it lol, it might take them all day but it gets done.
My 2 kids are 10 years apart. My oldest was amazing and still is, she helped me all on her own with my youngest. It’s hard at first but you eventually manage. Involve the youngest and have her/him help.
My two didn’t wait that long. My kiddos are 17 months apart
I have a 3month old and a 2 year old and even I first came home I felt the same way but it’s gets easier and you figure it out promise
We’re working on our 4th and honestly we just wing it 
we try our best to make sure everyone gets one-on-one time & we minimally pick up when the kids are up & then tag team the house at night! Having a spouse who cleans is a must if you have multiple kids lol because we can get all of downstairs cleaned in about 30/35 mins together & then we do upstairs once a week!
Also highly recommend investing in a robot vacuum that also mops. We got the BISSELL SpinWave and it’s a life saver.
Five will help you if you ask, simple things like grabbing the wipes or a bottle of water. Good time to start teaching them basic tidying, wiping counters and such. It’ll get better 
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get the oldest to help u and do in between the needs of y6oungest
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It will get easier just start a routine routine is key
The newborn should sleep quite a bit so that should help. If it helps you, try to start a routine, for example: laundry Monday and Thursday; let the 5 yr old help you. She can fold towels, get the baby a diaper, etc. ; the 5 yr old can play with her toys, puzzles, play dough, etc, while you’re making bottles; if you nurse or bottle feed have the 5 yr old sit by you with her baby. If she’s active let her entertain you by dancing, doing somersaults, hopping, acting out animals. You are so lucky! Five year olds are so independent and big helpers. Have fun!
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It’s hard but eventually you will find a good schedule or routine that will help you I have 3 kids 5years,2years,1year
Doo room by room
Or upstairs vs downstairs another day. However u can fit in. Also don’t forget too Rest when u can with Lil one.
you will adjust mama, mine are 4 years and 9 months apart
It’s a adjustment for sure my kids r almost 8 years apart
My children are 16, almost 14, & 8. When my oldest 2 were young, things got done at night. Cleaning, laundry, etc. It sucked. I was exhausted. Sometimes things just didn’t get done. But it worked for the most part.
My girls are 7yrs apart. Some things just didn’t get done and tbh if my husband had said a WORD about it I’d have gone left. Get baby on a routine asap. That helps a bunch
Get you and them in a routine I have always got up got myself ready won’t touch anything until I have a coffee then a shower everyday do breakfast feed them while cleaning the kitchen do small cleaning through out the day i do dinner early I stop all house work once dinner is done coz it’ll be there for me the next morning I do the washing while doing dinner to keep it upto date and fold once a week get rid of any hazards for the kids around the house so they can be free and u don’t need to stress
Keep everything simple
It’s worked for me my kids are 9 5 and 3
You will figure it out soon.
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We have 4 kids that are 4, 9, 10 and 13…I couldn’t tell you HOW I did it…I just did. I’m a stay home mom…I was sleep deprived yes, house wasn’t always spotless, laundry stayed piled as I could only get to it at night and even then I was lucky if I didn’t fall asleep…it doesn’t last. Now that they’re older I miss the cuddle times…it’s rare now that it’s getting nicer out bc the older ones love being out doors
It’s an adjustment no doubt about it. Mine were 16 months apart. It was a juggling act. You develop a routine. A pac-and-play is a must. I loved having a play pen when my kids were small (only the littlest one went in the playpen for tummy time. Which was while I was busy). I could keep track of them so much easier. You will find there are certain chores you will have to let go till they are in bed for the night. I know the little one will be up periodically, but you’ll be able to squeeze things in. The 5 year old can be pressed into service for toy pick up duty. And to entertain the little one while you are finishing up a task. Enforce nap time during the day, for all of you. Have the 5 year old dust while you vacuum. Put the newborn in the pac-n-play and have the 5 year old polish the bathroom cabinets while you clean the rest of the bathroom. You can have both of them in the kitchen with you if you use the pac-n-play. Sit the 5 year old at the table while you cook or put away food. The 5 year old can also set the table for a meal. Dishes and laundry will have to wait till nighttime. Trash will have to wait till nighttime. Sweeping uncarpeted floors and mopping will have to wait till nighttime. I know that’s a lot to do, but maybe if your significant other sees you busy he’ll pitch in. If not, do the best you can. That’s all any of us can do.
I have a 4, 3, & 2 yr old. My oldest loves to help me so I guide him on helping me with the younger ones.
I had 4 by age 30 —somehow you learn to manage it all -my husband did nothing to help ( my dad didn’t either ) hope things get better for you -
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I can’t remember. I think my brain blocked it out to protect me. Lol
I have 6… 17, 14 ,12, 7 year olds down to the twins at 19 month…
every day since the twinados joined us. I get little time to do much, I literally wing it. If we all fed, watered, clean n bathed at the end of the day I’m happy…
I get done what I can the twins go to bed between 6 n 7. I do a quick sweep of the living room n any washing up n maybe put a load on…
Don’t stress your self, it takes time to adjust
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I have 5 , I get so overwhelmed by chores and up keep. The best thing I can say is write a list do one thing at a time and just do the best u can . Take advantage of when there sleeping. And don’t be afraid to ask for help
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I have 5 kids and u do what u have to do. It’s always busy but very worth it
Are the kids fed? Clean? Can you get from room to room? Good enough. It won’t be forever that things are messy. But do what you can, write off what you cannot and quit worrying about it. The world will not end if the dishes don’t get done or the floor doesn’t get mopped.
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Anymore than two, eh they somewhere? Lol
Wow, i cant believe she said its not coming natural having 2 kids 
ummmmm she needs help quick and not from here
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I had four kids in 7 1/2 years you just adjust, one passed away at 13 ,the other three have made me proud
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I had 5 in 10 years. I promise you will miss the younger years❤️ day by day, hour by hour sometimes minute by minute. Hugs mama!
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I would put my son in a carrier a lot. I have a 5 yr old and an 11 mo old
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I took care of 5 boys with little to no help from their dad. And I was in the Air Force
First I regret all my anxiety I had over the minor fussed newborn. Its ok if they cry for a few min. But also, ask your 5 year old to go talk to the baby. That way you know they have each other, the 5 year old can report to you about needs and you can finish that last dish, or whatever. Also, don’t be afraid to ask frie do for help if you need a shower, a nap ect
My twins were 5 when my son was born. They were my helpers. They would “babysit” while I made bottles, did dinner, switched laundry etc. He would be in his play pen, swing or bouncy seat and they would just sit with him to “babysit”. They also helped with him with stuff like getting diapers, wipes, clothes, bottles etc. I pre made bottles so they were ready, and we pretty much lived out of the living room for a while. I also had very little help. My (ex) husband left when I was 8 months pregnant with him. My 5 year olds were actually my saving grace. Those two girls were my saving grace with my son and my youngest daughter, who was born 5 years after my son. It’s gonna be hard, but I promise it can be done.
On a side note, You didn’t clarify why you don’t really get any help - weather it’s being a single mom or being with a partner who just does nothing. If it the latter, kick him to the curb, because if you’re gonna do it on your own, you might as well be on your own.
You’ve got this!
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My twins were 5 when my son was born. They were my helpers. They would “babysit” while I made bottles, did dinner, switched laundry etc. He would be in his play pen, swing or bouncy seat and they would just sit with him to “babysit”. They also helped with him with stuff like getting diapers, wipes, clothes, bottles etc. I pre made bottles so they were ready, and we pretty much lived out of the living room for a while. I also had very little help. My (ex) husband left when I was 8 months pregnant with him. My 5 year olds were actually my saving grace. Those two girls were my saving grace with my son and my youngest daughter, who was born 5 years after my son. It’s gonna be hard, but I promise it can be done.
On a side note, You didn’t clarify why you don’t really get any help - weather it’s being a single mom or being with a partner who just does nothing. If it the latter, kick him to the curb, because if you’re gonna do it on your own, you might as well be on your own.
You’ve got this!
I have 8 kids, ages 22 to 3. 6 boys and 2 girls. It’s rough, but we manage!!
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My first two are 4 years apart, I baby wore the little one a lot. That helped. Also involved older sibling so he felt really included. They have a great bond now almost 2 years later.
Teach her to do as muck for her self as she can and praise her. I had 6 and that helped.
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Ask your daughter if she wants to watch a movie with the baby. Put baby on the floor or in a bassinet by the couch and turn on a movie.
Or you can get a baby carrier/wrap and wear baby around while doing things around the house.
I had my son when my daughter was 4. She loved to play with him and hold him while I did things. Obviously where I could see but she helped. Most of the time I didn’t have to ask her cause she would take him without telling me sometimes if he was in his bed in their room when I was cooking or puting clothes away. I’d go to the bathroom and come back and he would be gone out of the swing that he was buckled into and she would have him with her on the other end of the room. It’ll get easier over afew weeks.
I practically raised 4 kids by myself. Their Dad was a commercial crab fisherman then he went salmon fishing in the summer. He was also a hunting guide. It was hard especially since we lived in the country in Montana with wood heat. He’d be gone up to 6 months at a time. It was hard and frankly I’m tired. Lol. But my kids are my life. It was all worth it. Time goes by so quickly and before you know it, they’re grown up. If I was to give one piece of advice? Enjoy them and don’t sweat the small stuff.
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I had girls back to back almost. They’re 2 & 4 now and it does get easier when they’re both old enough to walk around and play but it’s still hard. I remember having such bad anxiety that I didn’t want to kill myself necessarily but I didn’t want to be alive anymore. Its likely PPD rearing it’s ugly head. I also didn’t have much help if any at all. Stayed home with them and never got a break. I just took one day and a time and half or more of those days ended with me sobbing at some point.
I’d suggest trying to reach out to your OB or a doctor about PPD and then try to get someone to help once a week even or join a mom group to get some socializing.
We’re not meant to do this on our own and yet so many of us are.
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I just did it. I hardly had any help either, my husband was always at work. I had three under the age of four. Now they’re almost grown.
Have playdates. The older will be distracted, possibly someone to hold the baby, and then you do simple chores like straightening the living room or folding laundry while talking with the other parent. I started with folding laundry while talking with friends and me and my friends got so comfortable with it during the pandemic that now we do all sorts of cleaning while having playdates and it’s so helpful. Also be realistic with yourself, it’s not going to be as clean as you’d like until the baby is a bit more self sufficient, my second is almost three and I’ve finally gotten back on top of my house recently. It’s hard but things will get easier as the baby gets older.
I am single mom of four. I let the oldest watch the youngest. Yes a 5 yr old can watch tv while the baby is on swing or play pen. Don’t hold baby all day or you’ll never get anything done. I always had a swing or playpen. Put them on a schedule.
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I think you are really lucky. A 5 yr old is more able to do a lot of things by themselves than a 2 yr old !! And I am sorry you are going thru this. I do hope since this is very hard for you, either you or your husband got fixed so this won’t happen again.
Oh & my kids are 2 yrs apart & I left my POS husband six months later & have raised them by myself.
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I always used a wrap or sling!! Then I was hands free to play with my other children, clean, cook ect…
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At 5 your daughter can help with stuff…
Show how to help put clothes in dirty clothes bin, to fold towels n separate. To do some helpful things (boy or girl can do these n its quality learning time). She can possibly, hold a baby for baby (depending on child), get diapers n clothes for baby.
That age span is actually a good span, make it fun n don’t freak over not finishing laundry or perfect folds. Enjoy 
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Hardest job in the world. Much love to you.
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Ask her to help! I have a 3.5 and 2.5 year old as well as a 1 month old and the oldest girl loves to help with the baby. I have to worry about my 2.5 year old son breaking the baby tho honestly going from one to two is the most stressful than any additional kids but it gets better once you get into a rhythm. 5 should be easy enough as she should be pretty self sufficient at this point.
Don’t stress over trying to be perfect or having the cleanest home - as long as it’s sanitary and safe for the family. Enjoy your kids, let the dishes sit sometimes and take a nap with them. The dishes can wait, your sanity can’t. Don’t let people pressure you to be a “perfect” mom.
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I raised 4 and tried to be perfect and now I don’t even remember things from that time. While I was trying to be the best, I forgot to fully enjoy them, to rest, to savour every moment. Now, they’re all grown and all I have is a tired body and mind.
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You just manage. You find your routine and everything that works for you.
Organize and routine. Everyone needs a routine. My kids are 16mo apart…they are 4 and 5. They have had the same routine since they were old enough. And they clean up their own mess.
I have an 8yo, 5yo, and 4 month old all boys with no help either. If I need to pump baby’s milk, do dishes, cook, or potty/ shower it’s rough but sometimes the boys will sit on the couch to hold him in their lap or play with him on his mat or rocker or push him around in the stroller for a few mins so I can do a few things. I also taught the 8yo how to change him so he’ll do that sometimes if I’m pumping or something. Other times I have to just hold him in my lap with one arm to pump or pee bc he will scream. I try to not get too overwhelmed but my anxiety gets the better of me sometimes too so I feel you. I try to say okay, such and such needs to be done today (example dishes) so if that’s all I do (besides taking care of baby and kids, feeding them etc…) Then I know I accomplished what I said I was gonna do. That way I don’t get overwhelmed by setting unrealistic goals. Also try to stick to a routine and have the older one help do little chores like taking out trash, wipe tae, bring you things for you and baby, clean up toys/room etc…
It’s okay to set the baby in a safe place like a bassinet or crib while you get somethings done. My kids would cry for 10 or 15 min then they would fall asleep or start playing with their toys/hands and completely forget they were even upset.
I am a SAHM with 6 kiddos. 11, 9, 8, 3, 1 and 4 months. Best advice I can give you is to let your 5 year old be as self sufficient as possible. Also let them help a lil bit with the baby so they can feel more involved and also be more comfortable around baby. That way they’re not feeling too left out either. Mine literally just play all day. They make their own food ( with the exception of cooking on the stove without supervision) and the. toddlers always want to be involved in whatever they’re playing. My oldest are super helpful. Honestly some days I couldn’t make it without their help. Even tho it’s not their responsibility I’ll still reward them occasionally and tell them it’s for all the times they help me without even realizing it. It’s not easy but it is possible. 
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I clean where I’m at and deal with the kids right there. Or I get them a snack I’ll clean up. If they are preoccupied by something I do everything else around them to keep it up.
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The farther apart in age the easier they are to handle. My kids are 13 years apart so my son was a huge help when my daughter was born. Since you have a newborn and a 5 year old you can easily set the 5 year old up with a craft craft or lunch and tend to the newborn. The newborn sleeps most of the day so you were able to do your house cleaning around that also the 5 year old is old enough to get excited about tricking him into helping you clean lol
My son took big pride in doing for his brother he learned to make bottles and put his brother to sleep and they both thrived off each other mean while mommy got a much needed break my boys are now 10 & 3 if that helps
Your five year one can help you with little things according to her age , and you do not need to hold your newborn all the time . But also do not stress about it, take it easy and if you need help ask for it
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I have a 16 yr old and a 5 month old… I homeschool 16yr old. Trying to do anything around house is a chore. Oldest has health issues so hardly get help from her. When she does help with brother I may get 20 minutes because he’ll start crying. God for bid she help outside her own room and normally I have to help her do it. So now I try the swing with baby until he gets upset then play with him then he sits in his walker which he can’t use cuz him short and little but I stuff a blanket around him and I push him around so he is watching me do my work and he loves it. Or we use his sitting thing if I’m in room putting clothes away. Will he cry occasionally yes but momma has to get things done and he is literally with me all day every day. If lucky I get a total of an hour with out him. Dad works at 3 am and home at about 310 in afternoon.
Mine were almost 4 years apart, I’m not sure how to answer this because it wasn’t a problem for me. You adjust your routine and schedule, and stick to it. I am trying to figure out why it’s so difficult? What was life like before you had baby #2
Its ok u can set the baby down in a safe space to get things done crib, bassinet, or swing etc. U just need to establish a routine that works for u. My kids are 14, 11, and 7 now but the boys was 6 and 3 when we brought my daughter home from the hospital.
When I had my daughter my son was four , I would wear her in a moby wrap around the house to get things done ,
i just learned to do everything with one hand or in short spurts when i got a chance until everything fell into place naturally.
I have no idea that’s why I’ll never have another
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When I was 24 I had a 3 year old and a newborn, it was HARD. But every night I made it a must to wash the dishes, the bottles, and have coffee ready for the morning. As long as those things were done nothing else mattered. And remember, it’s okay to let the baby cry for a few minutes while you’re doing something. Take a little bit of time to yourself each night after they’re asleep. Even if it’s only 20 minutes. Parenting isn’t easy and some days are very hard but you got this momma!! One day at a time. My babies are 9,6 and a new one on the way now and life is significantly more easier now that they’re older. It won’t always be this way.
Bring them both out in the morning for a walk and the park. Tire them out. Serve lunch and nap time. The older one has to have quiet time on the couch watching a movie. During the quiet time either rest as well or do some housework. Make this a routine. Kids need routine and will get used to it. That will be your quiet time as well. Make sure the movie is at least 90 minutes.
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I could have written this! I manage but having a new baby has been very hard 
having my 6yo for many years and having a nice routine has made it a bit trying. I have no advice apart from not being to hard on yourself if things aren’t always done
Pick and choose your battles. Let the 5y vacuum or mop. Wont be very well, but at least it gets done!
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I lower my expectations and babywear if I need free hands to get stuff done.
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When your 5yo sits still for a bit to have a little screen time or a nap, if they still nap, that’s when yiu do things you need to, and when the baby naps. That’s when you pick up or make something to eat. Try not to think about what you’re not doing. Even if all you did was make them food and feed them for the day you’re doing a good job I had a 3yo and newborn, it wasn’t easy, that’s also when I had my first c section. Just take it day by day and little by little. There is no right or wrong way to do things. Don’t feel bad for not having a tidy house either, do what you can when you can
Relax. Enjoy them. It is not easy, but you do what you can. It doesn’t all always get done. Do the most important. A home needs to be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. Wish I had followed this advice when my kids were young😊
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I prioritized and did what I could. Children came first. As soon as they can, teach them to help.
I have 5. 14, 11, 7, 4, and 2. You do what you can when you can and things can wait. It’s chaotic but manageable most of the time.
Keeping all our kids on a schedule has always been key for me. Once you get your routine down, it’s easy. As for housework, maintaining is much easier than catching up. Your oldest can pick up toys and do small things, such as cleaning her bedroom. I do one load of laundry each day, instead of waiting until it’s out of control. Cleaning your kitchen as you cook will leave less mess to worry about later. You can also prep and freeze a few meals for very busy days. You will do great. Remember, you are still adjusting. Don’tbe hard on yourself.
Sart making extra $500 per day online. i just got my 3rd paycheck of $17508 and i gave this work only 1 or 2 hrs a day using my laptop. simple and easy work. go to this web right now for more information.
I had my daughter and then my son 4 years apart I put my son in a play pen with toys so he could play with his toys while I was cleaning my daughter was cleaning with me with her own broom and dust pan
If it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done and I just have to try to be okay with it. 