How do you manage mothers day between yourself, your kids plus your own mom and mil? Mom and MIL dont really get along so I cant plan an activity all together. I feel guilty if I choose one over the other on the actual day (Sunday). Would you just spend the day of with only your kids and plan something seperate for the grandma’s on another day close to date? Do you choose one over the other? I’m a mom of boys so I’d hate to think I’d be left out of the day because the daughters mom gets first dibs on special occasions.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do you manage Mother's Day as a mother yourself?
Can you do a breakfast out with one and dinner out with the other?
I only celebrate my mom
Maybe this is selfish of me, but this year I am going to focus on myself. Every year I’m in the same boat trying to run across multiple cities to please everyone and I’m stressed. So this year I am seeing my mom on Saturday and my husband is going to visit his mom early Sunday then we can have the rest of the day together.
I’d probably spend the day with my kids and do different outings for both of them on other days. That way you’re not cramming too much in one day, the day is about you too take the day to relax a bit
Spend the day with your kids and your mother let him go spend it with his you and the kids are not her kids so it shouldn’t matter if you’re there just like it shouldnt matter if he’s at your mom’s
How would you like to have been born on Mother’s Day and have to share your birthday with every other mother? I it seems on that day they have plans to share good times with their wives and children. I get maybe a call.
Plan a day with your family, and both grandmas, let them deal with it, QUIT STRESSING OVER SOMETHING SO TRIVIAL…it’s not healthy for you…
Pick your mom! What the heck😒
I will choose to celebrate my mother with my daughter, it’s not MIL day
Celebrate you on Mothers day.celebrate the others one on Saturday and the other on Monday if possible
I only celebrate my Mother
Anything for me is a blessing
I just want a quiet day. Take the dogs, child and leave. Bring some ribs when you come home
I’d do mother’s day with my kids. Saturday I would go with my mom to a brunch or something. There is actually a Grandparents day. It is the first Sunday after labor day.
I spend the day w my kids. My husband typically works that day. I don’t have much of a relationship w my mom though. We typically just buy his mom a little gift.
By not expecting the world to fall to my feet and beckon to my every whim, I just treat it like any other day. Nothing is expected, much like Fathers day, has never been anything to write home about.
Mothers Day was reserved for me, my mom and my kids although MIL got a gift and time with her own kids. Now it’ll reserved for me and my kids and whatever they have planned.
Can’t stand my mil she gets Jack shit I always take a backstep and make sure my mum has what she needs
I would let my husband do for his mom.
My mom lunch Saturday, mil dinner Saturday. Me at a local resort with a friend by the pool all day Sunday
it all depends on how it been doing for u all the other years , what i can suggest is though change everything around and do oppiste of what u have been dong now go backwards with each - or if u do what i do your mom is your mom and just do something with on mother’s day and the husband does some thing special on this for his mom and later that night spend it with your family
You should spend the day with your kids and your mother. Your husband should do something for his mother.
Lol i just tell them happy mothers day and thats it🤷🏼♀️ and i spend the day with my kids
We always did lunch with my mother and dinner with my mother-in-law. It made for a long day but was worth it to spend equal time with both sides of the family.
Nope. I’m mom. They get grandparents day lol
I go to my in laws a day before sometimes (or Fri eve into Sat) since it is 2 hrs away and she occasionally works. On actual day I go to church and then my mom. Occasionally we go to my in laws church, lunch with her and head to my mom for dinner. We try to fit them both in over the weekend if we can. Some yrs we don’t, just way it works. They have not spent much time together since they live like 2 to 3 hrs apart. But my mom is not a fan of my MIL. It is more that my MIL is not a planner and so is constantly trying to change plans I make last min on us. I pretty much tell her what works for us and shut her down fast. But sometimes we give in to her changes. She also wants to spend time with her own mom and we do too but we rarely get to see hubby’s gma with covid risk. We do what we can to to fit in both my fam & hubby’s. It is exhausting but some yrs just one gets shafted and just is what it is.
I usually get together with my mom and sister and our kids. Spend the day with your kids and mom, your husband should be doing something with his mother.
My MIL is gone, but I will see my mom on Saturday. Sunday, I’ll be home, with my husband and kids, doing a whole lot of nothing!
Spend Saturday with your mom and MIL. Do lunch with one of them and dinner with the other, take Sunday for you.
Deal with your own mum, not everyone else’s.
My mom told me the other day she saw a post and completely agreed with it and it said “once you are a mom yourself, the day is about you! If you have a daughter with kids or a son who has a child that day is now about their mother and you can celebrate on another day” basically grandmas time has already come when her kids were little. That being said I don’t speak to my mother in law so I only have to worry about my mom but if they can’t get along for the sake of a day that’s about you too then they can take a back seat.
Id do something with mil Saturday and ur own mom sunday. Or send your husband to her for the day lol
Wishing you the best! I just worry about myself. That’s what my hubby has to worry about. He somewhat speaks to his mother but not all that close. I don’t speak to either my mom or mother in law. My mother has never really been a mom.
My whole life…i have been going to my grandmother’s on mother’s day…the whole family goes over as well…aunts, uncles, etc…we do potluck lunch. And now i have a daughter whose bday is alwsys near or on mother’s day…we combine the day and have a mother’s day/bday party…my MIL live 3 states away…we send her a gift every year and call her.
one doesn’t need to spend the whole day with either one, spend several hrs with your MIL & then go over your mother’s house & spend several more hrs with her. Or if you have kids, the day is really about you now, so call both wish them a Happy Mother’s Day & do something special for yourself
Buy a gift for mom and mil do what I want with my kids on mother’s day
Mother and mother-in-law grow up and act civilized to each other for one day
Take one to breakfast and one to lunch.
I personally don’t do anything. Not for myself or anyone else. But my mom has dementia and my MIL has passed.
That’s a toughie. I think I would spend a little bit with one, taking her a plant. Then go to the other one, taking her a plant. Then I would bail out for my own home to spend Mother’s Day with my own family. I would either go out for dinner (lunch) or have it going in the crockpot. And have a great family day.
I haven’t really thought about what we’re doing for me… but we’re going to spend the actual day with his mom& siblings…seeing as mine has work, I will bring mine flowers/card/coffee in the morning to give her a hug and love before her day starts!. I wouldn’t think to much into it… it’s just another day! Also I spend nearly every other day with my mom, we are always together. We hardly see his. I feel that’s only fair.
Remember , it’s your day too .
Happy Mother’s Day to you
Spend time with one in the morning and the other in the evening.
I somewhat had this issue and what we did was alternate years. This year would be my mom’s next year would be his. Do all holidays the same way
I think you should do what’s best for you. Everyone puts too much pressure on holidays. It’s not suppose to stress you out and if it does, you’re doing it wrong.
I would get a gift for each of them go and take a drive with the kids and visit each of thr house to drop off gifts then do something with my own family
Do something for yourself just you and your children on the day of . Then go to dinner with either your mom or MIL on Friday evening and dinner or lunch with the other on Saturday
Every day to me is Mother’s Day
Psh I’d spend the day with my kids and my mom… mothers day is for you and your kids then celebrate your mom as well. Your MIL is your husband’s responsibility if she isn’t friendly with everyone.
Make it an event and they both can act like grown ups and get along for a few hours or not come. And like someone said also, it’s your day too love!
They need to get it together and stop being so troublesome. Surely they can get along for a day! Tell them if they can’t, you will spend it with just your husband and kids. Adults acting like children is nonsense!
We would always stop by both grandma’s houses. Always had a plant or cut flowers for them. Then the rest of the day was just for mom.
Lunch with one… Dinner with the other…
I spent my whole childhood trying to do what my mom wanted for Mother’s Day and most the time she just wanted a day to herself where she didn’t have to cook or clean up after us. Now that I’m a mom, it’s my day. I still tell her Happy Mother’s Day and bring by flowers.
My husband and son will probably do something small for me at home. This year everyone is gathering at my uncle’s house for a mother’s day lunch, for MY grandma as matriarch of the family lol. But of course the rest of us moms are still honored. We may do something separately with my own mom like invite her over for my homemade pizza that she likes, unfortunately MIL lives many states away.
I know the question isn’t meant for me but: my family always just ignored each other on any mother’s day/father’s day/birthdays. Over 300 days a year I had to see them, those days were nice
When my mom was still with me. I was with my mom and kids. My husband went with his mom. Your MIL is not your mom.
Don’t stress yourself about it. If you really feel like you need to a step something for them I would plan a gathering at your place. If they can’t seem to get along for a couple hours to celebrate all of you being mothers than you take the day to yourself. I’m taking the day off. My sons dad is taking him and I’m sleeping in and doing whatever I feel like.
Are they planning or attempting to make something happen with/for you?
It is YOUR day momma! Spend it the way YOU want to.
I’d do something with just my created family. If they can’t get along then they ruin their chances at seeing you guys on that actual day
During my mom’s life and my grandmothers life mother’s day was spent together. In my young days dinner was at grandmom’s. When I married it was at my home & sometimes at mom & dads. MIL lived distantly so there were cards & phone calls. MIL had many children & someone was always present.
We don’t make a huge deal out of mothers OR Father’s Day. It’s just a Sunday to us. We usually spend the day all together anyway I may get to sleep in a little later but that’s the extent of it
We’re doing a family thing on Saturday. If the Mom’s don’t get a long, I’d still invite them and keep them separated.
Mother’s day I plan to spend with my family.
You can always plan something the day before to see people/grandparents. Don’t cram so much into your day pleasing everyone else, that it’s not even enjoyable for You.
Mother’s day is for me…
They get flowers and a card.
My mother in law is not in the picture hasn’t been since 2018 (husband’s doing she is evil) my mother passed away I’m 2018 so I don’t have to juggle it it’s only me
Take your kids and go do something with your mom and your husband can go see his mom, or plan a brunch with one and dinner with the other, and have breakfast just you and your family. But for sure pick your mom as she is the reason you are alive and have kids of your own!
I’d call each one & say enough is enough. They are both grandparents to you children & you want the children to have all the family hoildays with BOTH of them at the same time. So tell them to please put your difference aside for the childrens sake & tolerate each other so we can be a whole family during the holidays at least.
I was just wondering this same thing today. But I also have a step mother who has been in my life since I was 5. All holidays seem stressful like this.
lunch with one & supper with other? Breakfast is yours
Wish I still had these decisions to make. Miss them so much.