How do you move on from someone that has been lying to you from day 1. We been married almost 5 years and last night he showed me how much I really meant to him. I really hate when I’m being used the way he used me these last few years. I can’t stop crying now. Thought i found someone who actually loved me. How very wrong was I.
7 Likes
One day at a time, therapy, self care, self love. Rebuild your relationship with yourself, remember who you are and what you enjoy doing, hobbies. Exercise:)
read the Bible,
2 Likes
You take it one day at a time.
Hugs momma
1 Like
The hardest thing to do is realize that his actions & behaviors were about him & not you. Don’t let it define you. Don’t let it control you. Let that be his problem. You tell yourself that it’s his loss & you deserve better. You deserve love. The second hardest thing to do is not let his actions & his behaviors define your future relationships. They aren’t him. They deserve a chance. Don’t take it out on them. Consider yourself lucky that you found out who he is now. It could have been 5 or 10 years from now, or never. Let yourself be happy. Let yourself love. That is the best revenge. Don’t let hate, anger & jealousy be who you are. That is how he always has power over you. Don’t give him that power. Have a good cry. Then let it go and be happy. Go out with friends, take classes, enjoy hobbies, maybe find new ones. Don’t concern yourself with what he is doing or the unfortunate person that he may be doing it with. You deserve to be free of him & be happy.
2 Likes
Two Sentences to live by…
- You can only be treated the way you allow someone to treat you!
- When they show you who they are, BELIEVE them the FIRST time!
You can’t go over or under this…you have to go THROUGH it to be done with it. YOU ARE GOING TO HURT…PERIOD…so don’t prolong it thinking you’re not going to later…get it done, NOW! Be easy on yourself but DO NOT get stuck in the hurt & anger…just ask yourself this…If a man did the same thing to your daughter, would she be deserving of that treatment and let herself stay?
And Finally…FUCK HIM GIRL!! I PROMISE YOU CAN DO THIS
Figure out the lesson you were meant to learn from this experience. Credit yourself with being observant, clear-headed, and discovering his lies vs. being oblivious. Now you are armed with new information to help you move forward.
Build yourself back better. Work with a therapist and define your future. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship you thought you had unapologetically, but don’t wallow or get stuck.
Take things in small increments. Five minutes at a time if a day or hour is too much. Note your growth and progress. Keep a journal so you can see how far you’ve come over time. Understand there’s light at the end of the tunnel and believe you will be in a much better place this time next year.
Don’t get into another relationship until you analyze what you’ve learned about yourself and life from this experience. Get to know how wonderful and multi-faceted you really are.
Have a number of identities/facets so the loss of one (like wife or girlfriend) won’t crush you. When I lost my job I reminded myself that I was still a wife, mother, dancer, friend, daughter, gardener, cook and volunteer, so I still had a lot of positive roles to boost my self esteem to offset the loss of one.
And once you go through all the stages of grief, continue to be open to new people. Be observant and do your due diligence, but don’t automatically distrust all people. Now you know red flags to look for, but don’t assume all people are the same.
I split from my husband in April I had to make the change an move on for myself my family and my grown adult sons our relationships had become severely strained and I needed them back in my life. I just realized one day this has to end I’m losing myself financially socially and mentally…he chose other things more important to him then me you will move on things will become clearer and the weight lifted will be amazing and you will eventually feel so free
If you knew from day 1 and its been 5 years… then why are you still with this person
You cry your eyes out and then you wipe your tears, pick yourself up and do you!!