How do you tell you mother-in-law to back off?

How do you tell your mother in law to back off and let us live our life to spend quality time with our children as a family?


“Back off and let us love our life to spend quality time with our children as a family”

Just be honest and tell her you respect her and love spending time with her however you would like some time alone with your husband and children

Straight up no holds barred

Let your husband handle it

Easy- don’t tell her your plans, so when you don’t want to spend time with her, tell her you already have plans, but another day would be good.

You tell her, just like that.

It is what it is. For mils who respect boundaries and can go one day without thinking of a million ways to detour around that, then of course this wouldn’t refer to you and your relationship with your sons/daughters spouse. But there’s plenty of us who have to do it one day at a time because we aren’t that lucky. Tell her what’s on your mind and let her sit with it for a while; she’ll be alright.

Yes …… just say that and hurt her feelings, I just hope that someday YOUR daughter in law says the same to you…… kindness is free

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He needs to tell her. It’ll hurt but that’s his job

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Straight up. Always be straight up about it !!!
Simply say back off ur son is an adult u have raised him now let us raise our family see u bye then stand there with the door open
I’ve done this it truly does work

Tell her how it is in a respectful but straight to point manner.

I wish she would have elaborated. I’d like to know what it is she does.

I’m the type I’m very straightforward and I don’t think it just comes out
I don’t have to think esp of I’m furious.

I wouldn’t, he would do it since it’s his mother. Just like I know if we had an issue with my mother I wouldn’t expect him to be the one to talk to her, that would be on me as it’s my mother.


Depends on what the situation is


You didn’t elaborate as to what she does so it’s kind of hard to know how serious it is. If you have kids it could be she just loves being around them. If not, and she’s a menace always coming over unannounced or involving herself constantly in y’all’s business, that’s not normal and your husband may need to step up and talk to her. Expect her to get her feelings hurt no matter how kind the conversation goes. Be careful what you wish for as it may bite you in the ass. Tread lightly and carefully :))

Just say it. Let him know what you plan to say and maybe think about wording and tone… but don’t back down from your stance.


I did it just like that :joy: back the fudge off woman should be clear enough.


This sounds like an issue your husband needs to talk to her about her intrusions calmly…maybe write down some of her drop ins, keep a record of the visits?
It sucks that the situation is at this point, but it happens, and you’ll get through it.

Tell her to back off! :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Some mother in laws just do t know their place. Be honest and speak your mind. You don’t have to be rude but you can make it clear, there is a time for her to visit and there is a time she does not need to be there. If all else fails tell her what you would tell any other aggravating person in your life.

You don’t, if it’s a problem for your husband then he should address his mother.

Say it to her just like u said it here. Use your big girl voice n stop being a push over.

Would you tell your own mum to back off? If not don’t bother.

Say it how you’d say it to your own mother.


Is your husband on the same page with you? If so, let him address it. If not , you have a different problem

If you do she will probably play victim, he needs to check his own mama


Why would you want to get rid of a grandmother who loves her family?? I would have NEVER told my mom to back off and my husbands mom didn’t want to be involved.

Mine does nothing but run her mouth i just want to :facepunch::wave::joy:

Tell her I’m future she must call before she turns up if she had a key she must hand it back also have a word with your husband to make sure he has your back and to also speak to his mum if your married then your his family and you need to be able to spend time as family first and then spend time with in laws at other times which in laws will be told when and where


She needs to find her place, but he needs to be the one to lead her to it, not you.

You don’t. You include her as much as possible! My mother in law was very active in my kids lives … we would argue over me keeping my own kids for events and such, when she wanted to get them. She passed away in 2021. And my mother passed away in 2020… My kids no longer have a grandmother… I’d give anything to have my village back. It all seems so petty now… be appreciative of what you have in front of you. Unless she’s unsafe for your children, let it be.


Let her son tell her …His mother/ Same if the daughter’s mom is like that …Don’t deal with drama .

I’m going to end up having this talk with the bfs dad… let y’all know how it goes. Pray for me, I mean him lmao

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You and your spouse on the same page about it? That’s where it starts. Then you let the spouse talk with their mother, so that you’re not automatically the bad guy.

You don’t. You out live her and then have quality family time together …. :woman_shrugging:t2::blush:
:rofl::rofl::rofl: joke
Honestly you should discuss this with your spouse and let him/her have that heart to heart talk with the mom. You never know if your spouse or even children feel the same way you do. And the request may be respected more coming from them than coming from you (only because it seems you two have a communication deficiency) good luck!

You don’t. That is your husband’s job. He needs to be the one to say something


It’s probably because she’s lonely, bored and feeling useless.

Set up a regular schedule you can live with when she can visit and tell her you can’t manage to entertain her outside of that.

Then introduce her to activities where she can direct her time & make new friends—suggest she volunteer for organizations that mean something to her and then give them her number to ask her to volunteer. Animals, politics, environment, gardens, visiting shut-ins, religious institution committees—whatever might be meaningful to her. Or enroll her in academic, art, or exercise/activity classes. Often community colleges offer free courses to audit for seniors.
Maybe a book club or sewing group.

You are her “project” that makes her feel useful. Find her another project (where she can make new friends) and she’ll be too busy to keep sticking her nose in your business.

If you know any of her old friends, encourage them to call her and get together.


Open your mouth and tell her.

I’m 17 years in… no clue :joy:


Why is my question to him that his his family too without God and her you would not have a husband spouses sometimes come and go but your parents are always your parents you should be thankful she wants to be close


Just tell her that …. Back off

Your spouse is responsible for their parents

We’re not even together anymore and she still tells my kids they can’t come see me or spend time with me on their dads week. Tf they can’t woman, fight me :woman_shrugging:

You look her die in the eyes an say (HEY MOTHER-IN-LAW BACK THE HELL AWAY)

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Why do people pussy foot around shit. Tell the woman your on my dam nerves back the f** up. Honesty is key. Who cares who it upsets lmao

He needs to address the situation. By u asking her will CAUSE ISSUES