Hi, can you please post? I was wondering how does 50/50 custody of child work. When the child is first born does the days get split right when the baby leaves the hospital, or do they wait a little while then split custody.
Depends on the situation, but usually it’s a slow transition from birth. Overnights do not typically happen with the father right away. Usually it takes a few months
And it depend on if the baby is breast or bottle fed
Mothers have rights to breastfeed. So if you do that then the guy gets visitation but won’t get much alone time/overnights until the baby is older. Even then 50\50 doesn’t mean 50% placement. Depends on how your court agreement or child arrangements are
Get it in writing!!! Some plans are a week on week off. Ours was every other weekend plus Wednesday overnight.
Every case is different
I’ve never heard of overnights starting before a child was 3 years old. I guess it depends on your state and what the judge says in your custody hearing. You don’t just have to hand your baby over. Make sure you go to court.
We didn’t start 50/50 till a year. With breastfeeding it makes it hard. He only had the baby during the day until 6 months and then slowly worked up to 50/50 by 1.
Everything in writing or prepare for the games. Does he want 50/50?
My son was 18 months when we started the 50/50 and we did it weekly
If the baby is bottle fed, it’s only fair that 50/50 custody starts right away. If breastfed, maybe an hour or two with father at a time (daily) and no overnights til baby is no longer feeding at night. It of course will be super tough being away from baby, but one parent is not more important than the other and the child deserves time with both parents. Just think about how much time you would want with your child. If you wouldn’t want to only see your child every other weekend, don’t do that to their other parent. Maybe while baby is small do two days at one parents, than two at the other. As child grows do longer, like one week here, one there. Also, if you are on good terms with the father maybe have him stay at your house/apartment after birth for a couple weeks to help your with recovery and so both of you can bond with the newborn )as long as you both are comfortable with that) Good luck and congratulations on your little one!
If you can agree you dont have to go to court and dads matter too its not just her child it is both of theirs…I am so over hearing that it is only the moms child…just saying…if its a new born I would just see if yall could agree on hrs and take one day at a time…kudos to the moms that agree both parents can raise children and co-parent for the kids…that needs to be the normal instead of dads being part time parents
My boyfriend started getting overnights at 2 months and she was even breastfed. The only reason he didn’t before that is because the mother didn’t let him and so he started the court process. Finally had their hearing at 6 months and he was granted complete 50/50. We are in Missouri. So it really depends on what your wanting and taking it to court.
50/50 equal or fair… however you 2 get along, a slow transition into 3/4 day alternating before school starts. Newborn all depends on feedings and ability to provide. From day one, having dad come over, or take the baby for a bit so you can shower, work, nap, whatever… that time will benefit everyone.
Should start right away. The father is entitled to the early bonding just as much as the mother
I am so impressed with all the women agreeing to 50/50, both parents matter.
50/50 custody doesn’t/shouldn’t include infants. S/he needs to be fed by their mother. His parental right shouldn’t exceed the baby’s need.
You won’t get a custody order before you leave the hospital. Don’t worry about it. Love on your baby. Wait for him to file for custody. You carried & gave birth to a baby. Let him take some responsibility by filing for rights.
My favorite amswer to this is…would you restrict the baby daddy from seeing the baby if you guys were still together, would you not leave the baby alone with him if you were together…so why deny him if you guys arent together
Depends on what the judge says
Most judges wont do 50/50 unless both parents agree on everything. Also judges do not like to do that on a child under 3.
Judge ordered my boy to stay with me full time till he was over 1, (day visits, but no overnights), then overnights could start from 2yrs, depends what judge you get, and if there are any safety concerns, I’ve never heard of a judge ordering 50/50 care from birth, have seen bubs 6m doing weekends with other parent, so Friday, Sat and return Sunday evening, all depends how bubs takes it, and what works for you and their dad.
They made me do 50/50 while breastfeeding and I had to deliver the milk ( complete bullshit which lowered my supply a lot!! Then after a month they changed it to Friday-monday night. But my supply never increased back to where it was, if you breastfeed I’d fight to wait for the father to have the baby for so many days in a row and be extremely strict that you are breastfeeding!! Because anymore they seem not to care about the child and just the rights for the father to see said child. This is my opinion and a few others I know went through the same thing ( ohio)
I have never heard of a judge ordering this with a babe under a year. There is so much a babe needs from their mom in the beginning and there is a lot going on with a woman who just gave birth. I can’t imagine a judge ruling that the 2 be separated initially. That’s not what’s best for the baby in my opinion. If you guys are amicable then maybe he could come help you in the beginning and come visit at your house. That would be my best option. Also your hormones are so crazy that I’m not even sure I would agree to anything until the baby is born. Who knows how you’ll be mentally and emotionally after you give birth. Wishing you the very best mama.
I know in my state id you are brest feeding full time or on demoned they woint do it they will give max 2 hours at a time no over nights at all but all caes are diffent but most case id your breastfeeding just hours like 2 hours at a time food luck
I would keep the baby with me. If you are breastfeeding the baby should stay with you mostly in the day and always at night for at least the first few months. Any guy who cannot understand that is crazy. If you bottlefeed it might be a different story. Can you offer the dad a room in your home for a few months so he could sleep there?
Most judges do not want a newborn away from the mother for longer than a few hours at a time. At around 1year the guideline is 12 hours. 2years up to 24
50/50 is generally not suitable for a newborn baby
Talk to a lawyer my ex husband didn’t get our one daughter until she was 1 it depends on the state and that was coming from a lawyer
In the parenting guidelines for my state they don’t do overnights until they’re 3, the other parent would get them for up to 10 hours from like 9 months until their 3rd birthday. And my ex can barely handle having our 2 yr old for more than 4 hours on his own. He brings her back around the 4 hour mark every time.
Where i live 50/50 doesn’t start immediately. It’s gradual. A couple hours a day and slowly progresses depending on age and if the baby is breastfed and how active the dad has been in the children’s life ect.
Google your states parenting guidelines. It has ages and time ect.
If you’re amicable, like we are (sort of), we wrote it out ourselves. It took A LOT of compromise on both ends but it’s doable and both parties walk out happier than if a judge decided everything. If you are breastfeeding however the judge will let the child stay with you mostly until you’re not anymore.
My children were 2yrs old and 4mos old when the custody agreement was made
Most judges won’t do split custody until after a year old especially if baby is breastfeeding
I wouldn’t do 50/50 until the child is much older. I’d start off with him coming to the house for visitations or u bringing the child to his house for a visit if u plan on breast feeding most judges won’t allow newborns to be away from the mother for long period of time. I personally wouldn’t let my newborn away from me for a day or longer even if it was with the father. Baby needs that bonding time with mama
If ur breast feeding the judge wont do 50/50 depending on ur state
You have to go to court and get a custody agreement that you two can agree on.
Depends…do you have a court order yet, is dad on birth certificate or in babies life, ect
We just went through this. We got to see the baby for a few nights a week for a couple hours after she was born. Around 1 month old we got to keep her over night 1 night a week and by the time she was 3 months old, they had went to mediation and agreed on how the days would be split and now we have 50/50 custody. But if one parent can’t or won’t agree in mediation then it can go to court.
If you have a court order they will tell you.
Depends on what is worked out in court or between two parents who want to compare to for the child’s best interest.
I will say I am a supporter of a child having equal time with mom and dad (assuming there is not a danger to the child to not have that time) during this important time of binding and leaning to trust.
I’m not sure how it works but I’m assuming breastfeeding can play into it too. It’s hard to separate an infant from a nursing mother for awhile until the baby/mom gets the hang of it and for the moms milk to come in too to be able to pump enough for an overnight.
Since I soley breastfed, he didn’t get overnights (to ensure i had enough supply while I worked) until after the 1st year. I am lucky and having his son is inconvenient to him, so i have my kid a lot more than 50% and since we don’t live in the same city his 50% are weekends.
I believe it depends on the state you live in, as every state has different rules. Also, you have to have an agreed order signed by a judge. That is the best way to protect all parties rights.
No overnights for breast fed babies
Some cases it could be different, once you go to court it is established and a custody agreement is agreed too.
Normally baby with mom for a couple of weeks with visits allow. But states are different .50 50 can be split in several different ways. It will be hard on you at first but sooner you start better the child will adjust. Good luck and congrats on baby
That’s a question you would need to consult with an attorney, because it varies by state and specific situation.
Depends on the child custody laws of the state that you live in
Don’t quote me , but I think there is a waiting period before dad has child especially if nursing and not when discharged from hosp, don’t stress momma
Depends where you live and the circumstances. Most times what I’ve seen is that baby stays with mum for the first 6 months with dad having days in the mean time. This is usually for mat leave and breastfeeding reasons
There’s also someone called primary parent in 50/50 depending on where you live.
It really depends on the state. But most states don’t allow 50/50 u til the child is over 3 unless the 2 parents agree on a schedule
We had 50/50 with our son at the very first court date. He was 4 months old and yes the mother was breastfeeding at the time.
I had to do 50/50 as soon as my ex filed which was at 4 weeks and it was super messy. There is no guarantees what a judge will say. He didn’t care that I was nursing, still on maternity leave, and had a protection order against my husband, he got the baby half time anyway! 4 years later we are still 50/50 and we live 16 hours apart. Custody sucks!!! Get a good lawyer
Basically, it can work 2 ways. You and the babies father can work together to arrange a realistic schedule that works for both of you and allows bonding for both of you or you can fight each other on everything and end up having some judge, whose in a bad mood that doesn’t give a crap about your schedule or his tell you what you all are going to do for the next 18 years.
If he is a difficult person to deal with make sure you communicate in some form of writing, I.e. text or emails, I would suggest postal mail however unless you pay to get a return receipt he could say he never got it. Never say anything that makes you look selfish or unreasonable in how you would like to do it. Be open to his suggestions and willing to compromise. You won’t get every way you want it but if you can show you have been reasonable while they have not it will help, slightly.
My suggestion if he is a difficult person to deal with, hire an attorney or a mediator. If you haven’t already, try to find one that’s licensed to practice in your state but typically practices in a state over. Most of these family court judges and attorneys see one another frequently, which is a plus to know who your dealing with but as long as your attorneys are going to be making money they will tell you what ever you want is possible. This isn’t true at all. Most I have encountered like the catch phrase “Well, we can always ask and see what they say.”
Next, start researching your states laws. There are “guidelines” set by each state and there are actual laws. Most of the laws will only address abuse, neglect, and some finances, typically the financials are meant to protect any entitlement or interest the state may have in that money. Most of the guidelines are regarding visitation and they usually have a disclaimer line meant to protect the judge that reads along the lines “each case is different and could be deviated from if the judge feels it’s necessary or the parents agree to something outside of it.”
TBH, it’s been my experience that most of these laws and guidelines are set in away to remain impartial so they do not infringe on the rights of either parent and additionally to allow the state to retrieve any financial reimbursement they may be entitled to from it.
I have 3 separate court orders by 3 separate judges in 3 different counties and non of them are in conjunction with the guidelines outside of the standard lingo. We utilize the child support office to handle collecting that but even they are reluctant to pursue anything they are more like accountants and keep record of what has been paid, what hasn’t, and if the state is entitled to any of it.
My best suggestion would be to discuss it. Try and put your differences aside and work out what is best for the baby. Even “consider” offering the dad to stay over at your place on the sofa a couple of nights so they can help with nights (not always do able I know). At the end of the day, like it or not you share a kid. I’ve had to fight through my own hurts, frustrations and anger so that my kid will have the best of both parents. Again I know not all situations are the same but if you both agree to work things through for the kiddo, it’s a little easier
I think different in every case. If your breast feeding it wint be for awhile I would assume.
You have to go to court. Until a judge orders 50/50 (after it is agreed on) sole custody goes to the mother until then.
This is mostly a way that no one pays child support
If you nursing baby I’d think it would have to wait because they need mom. Ask attorney.
50/50 isn’t always fair for a child… it’s only fair to parents… It’s hard for them to be split like that especially when young. Having a consist stable home is important!!! I was told when
I went to court for my kids custody, that they don’t really endorce a 50/50 unless kids are older and teens. 5050 can be settled in mediation. If it gets to The judge, they would decide who sole coustody. parents are. We tried 5050 with my husband’s ex wife before we moved to a better place. Switching from dad’s house during the week for school … to moms. We lived really close at the time. But parenting couldn’t be more different … The other half of the week. Was. Inconsistent the teaches could notice patters of behavior that is NOW enveloped this poor kids life. Hes I’m therapy and programs now. Is the kid a pawn.?? Or should the child having a stable consistent childhood.
They usually wait til baby is about 2. But it depends on your judge
both parents need to have bonding time with the child… you can breastfeed and still split time… you have to find a way that molds to your family dynamic
I would ask for 50/50 right away. Baby needs both parents
Both parents are entitled to equal rights regardless of how baby is fed. Someone I know just went through this . Judge told her “that’s why breast pumps were created”. Mom is no more special and entitled than dad. Judge was a woman who was divorced with kids. Right is right and wrong is wrong.
Talk it out and discuss it. Each of you discuss your concerns. Compromise. Give and take.
If you can work it out to what works best for you do that first. We did every other week and now its every 2 weeks
When I talked to an attorney they told me that 50/50 custody starts when the child is off of breast milk, usually around a year old. Dad will get rights to see the child during the day though. If the child is bottle fed, then 50/50 starts right away unfortunately. That’s why I tried to breastfeed as long as possible.
A lot of things are dependent on what the situation is. If you can work something out between you and the other parent without going to court it makes everything a little smoother. That also depends on if you trust the other parent or not as to if they will up and run while thier visits. Me and my sons father have an amazing visition set up (not all are like this and I understand). If you must go to court the mother has full custody if the child was born when both parents were not married. Until paternity is determined. Then custody will be introduced and visitation established. It is a process and the other parent will not get 50/50 right off the bat.
My ex and I have 50/50
I was very uncomfortable with that right out the gate so he got weeks and some days here and there until she was a little older. We coparent very well and are very involved in each other’s lives. 50/50 is really hard when you’re not a team. It creates much more involvement with each other and needs great communication
You need to go and file for custody permanent placement with you and custody. But if you are at a agreement between the father and mother then you don’t have to go to court
A new born baby should wait until it is a,little older to be going house to house. You can ask the lawyer if he can arrange that. If the other parent wants to see the new born they should come to the house to visit. Not healthy.
If the mother name is the only name on the birth certificate then the mom has full custody until it’s proven who fathered the child.