How does custody work if you live far apart?

First off make sure your brother contacts his Attorney,this is only allowed if your brother agrees+is so ordered by the court.
Do not this woman pull anything on him without LEGAL papers.
Because it is against the law to take a child out of state without the other parents consent.

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He needs to contact a lawyer

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Get to an attorney to stop the move.

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Our order:

March break; half of Xmas break, 2 weeks in July and August
And if possible, one weekend a month due to our work schedule. We use to meet half way BUT mine in was a car accident so I drive all the way and he pays the gas.

My bonus kids fly to us accompanied minor. The flight attendants babysit them the whole time. We get them for christmas and summer.

If they share custody she cant leave unless he agrees to it

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Um- if theyā€™re unmarried, never been married to each other, no custody order, technically, she can just move. Not saying itā€™s right, butā€¦

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I f there is no custody order already in place, the technically she is allowed to move out of state. My honest advice would be for both parents to figure out how often they could send the child to visit, who pays for it, etc. I suggest avoiding custody court unless itā€™s absolutely necessary. Itā€™s expensive and time consuming. It could be a year or two before you even get results.

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I have full residential and full custody. My EX lives 3 hrs away. Heā€™s suppose to get one weekend a month but doesnā€™t even see my son or pay child support.

Im not sure where youā€™re from but in Ny you can take it up in court, I had a neighbor who actually stopped his ex from leaving with the kids by petitioning the court

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Going through this now as Iā€™m the moving mom and son is 16 so prob an easier situation but we have agreed that there is 1 weekend avail each month we will split the drive, all of summer and any school breaks itā€™s a tough situation but itā€™s possible to do

He needs to take a look at the custody/visitation agreement, if they have one. When my oldest two were younger, their dad and I had an agreement on days/times through the courts, but we were always flexible with one another. The biggest part of our agreement was that neither of us could move out of the state (Maryland). We had a house fire and moved in with my in laws in West Virginia, 45 minutes from where we lived in Maryland. I needed his permission to move the kids. I simply reminded him that we would be in another state, but only 45 minutes away, where as I could move them east or west, still be in Maryland but be hours away. I stayed with my in laws for a few months then back to Maryland. When he met his now fiancĆ©, they moved to Pennsylvania, but weā€™re only 30 minutes away. When he moved, we had the agreement that since he was moving out of state, it was his responsibility to pick up and drop off, which he did, until our kids were old enough to drive. But a 12 hour drive is kind of excessive, so I would definitely look at any agreements that they have and have him fight it, if thatā€™s what he wants to do. Otherwise, they need to draft up a new agreement as to when the child is with each parent and who is responsible for transportation. Air fare would get expensive if theyā€™re back and forth every week, or even every month.

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Depending on custody is now. I think he has to approve the move or go to court. BM did the same thing with my DHā€¦ and judge denied her move. He got majority custody, with her having half of summer, thanksgiving, and spring break, and half of Christmas. So that gives you an idea. It was actually agreed this time because she moved before and was denied alsoā€¦ The parent with parenting time about to start is responsible for transporting kids, and then vice versa. This is Colorado by the way.

Other parent cannot leave state longer than 2 weeks! Itā€™s called kidnapping.

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I just moved with my son. His dad is great but where we lived, I just couldnā€™t afford it. His dad has subsidized housing so his rent was controlled. A 2 bedroom for me was over $3000 by myself and I was working 3 jobs. I sat down and had a serious conversation with his dad. We agreed on Christmas, summer vacations my son will go visit him. Thatā€™s concrete but any long weekends or school vacations he can send for our son. And he can come visit as much as he wants. His dad is a great dad but I couldnā€™t keep killing myself working 3 jobs 7 days a week and barely make rent plus food and utilities and all other necessities.

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Iā€™m going through the same thing. I have offered him every holiday break and all summer. We have to go to court but itā€™s close to family and a job promotion for me. He only pays 326.88 in child support and thatā€™s if he pays it on time.

She has to take him to court to leave state. Itā€™s called change of domicile. If they both have joint custody, the judge most likely will not let her move over 100 miles away unless she can prove it will drastically benefit the children.

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Hell when my SO and I split for 2 years I moved back to California for his home state Louisiana but we talked about it before hand and he got them in the summers he called and inlet them talk when ever he wanted. I mean itā€™s really about communication and understanding on both sides.

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My bonus kid and parents have this. My husband has physical custody ( long story) but he goes to mom every summer. She also can come here and visit him every other holiday. Husband opted out of her paying child support. Itā€™s not ideal for anyone but being in the military there is no option. If they can work it out without lawyers itā€™s easier on everyone. I would still put it through court. With covid mom has opted out the last two summers because of her husbandā€™s job. So we will see. She can call whenever. But doesnā€™t. Technically in this case she needs permission from court to move. Unless dad is 100% ok with it

She canā€™t move without a court order in place. If there isnā€™t one, he can keep the child and send her on her way. If there is, it has to be modified. And will mean each parent will split the cost for transporting.

If he doesnā€™t agree then they have to go to court

He needs to take her to court. He has a say. She canā€™t just decide sheā€™s moving that far away with their child.

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The court visitation rules would have to be modified after the court approves the moveā€¦in many cases they just move without letting the court know

I donā€™t know how it is in every state, but in Illinois, I cannot move my kids out of state without their dads consent.

She canā€™t move without a plan on how SHE will help keep their relationship strong. It needs to be done through court. She has to prove good this so better benefit the kid as well as the whole family. He can contest the move completely. Can he take care of him full time? Would the child staying with the father work? Could be an option

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If they have a custody agreement he would have to agree to allow her to take the child out of state. My brother chose to live with his dad in another state so he would come for the summers to visit and maybe some holidays.

In Michigan if thereā€™s a custody agreement already in place, she has to ask the judge to be able to move out of state. I canā€™t move farther than a hundred miles away from my ex-husband without permission from a judge. If he doesnā€™t have a custody order in place, I would tell him to file as soon as possible.

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After reading these comments, Iā€™m glad I have sole custody. Good luck! Lol

Typically they would get every other holiday and summer. I know dadā€™s who have prevented the mom from moving and preventing the child from living a better life. Many times parents move states to be able to provide a better future for their child.

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In Michigan, you canā€™t move more than 100 miles without parent consent AND a court order.

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In my case, the father has to sign a paper agreeing to move out of state through the court. If he doesnā€™t agree, she canā€™t leave the state.

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My sister will let her kids go with there dad for bout 2 weeks, even a month, cause he is 8 hours away, but thatā€™s what they had drawn up with the custody agreement!

Iā€™d fight it in court :slight_smile: I think its wrong to move away from the other parent.

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If they canā€™t work it out she has to go to court. In most cases ive seen here in Florida they make you stay within a 100 mile radius. There are exceptions to it tho

She would need to get permission from the courts if they already have a custody agreement.

He needs to get a lawyer and fight it if he wants 50/50. In most cases judges wonā€™t allow it. Unless they can settle outside of court, but that can also settle outside of court but with lawyers so they can come up with a written agreement

depending on what state you all live in he can file a motion and go to court that she cannot move more than 200 miles from current location.

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Fight it in court. If she does go she. May be required to pay for transportation for all visits

If court aproves it it would something like
Odd number of years 2021, 2023ā€¦
Xmas, spring break if the school district has it or easter vacation.
Even number of years 2022, 2024ā€¦ Thanksgiving and what ever other hokiday they list. The have seen 6 weeks summer vacation depending on age and relationship they did 2 weeks break for 1 week 2 weeks break for one week and 2 weeks again for summer. Thatbis with a 20 hour drive distance. Also that is due to father not being involves even after he took me to court and we lived in the same town he disnt see her much and she was not confortable to thats the reason i think for summer being like that.
Also court did mom claimes chikd on taxes on even and father on odd as long as child support disnt have any back pay owed. Another thing i want to mention and again I believe the judge dis this because the father took me to court and the first hearing the judge addressed visitation scheduke until trail date and for the next 9 months he didnt show up to alot of visits and so the judge put in the degree that he had togive me dates of summer visits.

Most states will not let the parent move without the other parents consent. If he doesnā€™t agree, she would have to take it to court and most likely would lose. Depending on the age of the child, they get tired of traveling and being in a place where they have no friends to hang out with. So even if he gets his son all summer as he gets older he wonā€™t wanna come back. My kids traveled for a long time and they just got to the point where it was a constant fight to get them to travel and if he starts playing sports, his visitation time will be cut into for that too. I wouldnā€™t recommend it.

If they have 50/50 custody she has to ask permission from both the father and judge. My friend had moved out of state and her kids father reported her she had to move back out here since she never told the court about her moving.

He should get the child for most of the summer and split up holiday breaks

Can stop it if he wants to but long hard fight

My ex and I live about 9 hours apart, technically we have 50/50 custody but our agreement says they live with me during the school year and spend spring break and summers with him and we trade holidays

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I live in Idaho, and my sonā€™s Dad is in Florida. He gets him every summer. & We do Christmas off and on. And we do back and forth spring breaks. :smiling_face: He has to pay for the flights. I pay for the schooling, etc.

My sister does summers with the kids dad and school years with her. They live about 15 hours apart.

She has to have like a huge life changing reason to be moving so far away. So fight in court. If she wins and they let her moveā€¦he might get summersā€¦and Christmas break kind if custody. :disappointed:

One sides gets the school year the other side gets the summer and spring break. If you have something arranged through court you could try to fight the move.

One will have during the school months and then the other gets them for the summer.

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Yes, he needs to go to court and fight the move if he doesnā€™t want to lose time with his child. He can file for primary placement if mom refuses to stay in the same state as dad. Mom WILL have to PROVE to the courts why her moving that far away is going to benefit the child. If she doesnā€™t have VALID reasons the court wonā€™t approve the move with the child. The courts may say you can move but the child is staying with dad.

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She has to get permission in court to move that far

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My daughter and her ex both thought of moving and still may sometime who knowsā€¦of course it was in different directions!!! They spoke about it and agreed to have a halfway point for each to drive. But they both have bought homes here now so I think it will be awhile before it may be brought up again but it definitely wasnā€™t going to be a problem they work well together!

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Sheā€™d have to have an extremely good reason to move that far usually. Heā€™ll most likely only get them a couple times a year like the longer school breaks and most of the summer. I live 6 hours from my kids dad and we meet halfway every other weekend so he can spend the weekend with them BUT heā€™s not really a great dadā€¦if he had been I personally wouldnā€™t have moved cause Iā€™d have felt badā€¦

If there isnā€™t anything in the custody agreement saying that the child canā€™t leave state then the parent can move with child. As long as parent has custody.

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He needs to get a lawyer and file. She canā€™t just move the child.

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Call and ask your LAWYER !
You will get the RIGHT answer for your situation!!

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Anytime child is off school, goes with opposite parent. Agree on who pays for transportation.

In order for her to move out of state it has to goes back to court and he has to physically agree to it. If heā€™s super active and interferes with that the judge can tell her she canā€™t go. I step-daughter lives out of state we live in New York she lives in Arizona typically we get her for 5 weeks in the summer and during her holiday breaks mom has to provide all transportation to and from because she is the one that moved out of state. However if the child is older the judge will ask if the child wants to move and the childā€™s opinion of it and that has bearing on what the judge agrees to

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My custody agreement in Texas states if we live over 100 miles apart, the non custodial parent gets the kids 1 weekend of his choice every month, their entire Spring Break, half of whatever holiday breaks the kids get from school, and an extended summer visitation (45 days). We must meet halfway for pickup and drop off. Also as the custodial parent with exclusive rights to designate where the kids reside, I do not need any type of permission from their father to move my kids with me. Luckily my ex and I grew up in the same town so weā€™ve never had to deal with that.

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When I moved 1200 miles awayā€¦ The judge said that one pays for our child one way and the other parent pays for one wayā€¦
It worked out very wellā€¦
His father got every other big holiday and two weeks in the summer

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My husbands ex took their daughter across the country. She went through the courts but they granted it bc her husband was in the military. They lived there for a few years and he got his daughter every summer for a month and some holidays. They eventually came back and she lives locally now thatā€™s sheā€™s over 18.

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Time gets cut back drastically with the non custodial parent. And most need court permission to move so far awayā€¦

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I live in Iowa. My older two kids father lives in Wyoming. Basically we alternate holidays and he gets them up to a month in the summer and any time in between that we agree to. We meet half way. We donā€™t follow our agreement, we just go with whatever works for us at the timeā€¦we get along well.

My boyfriend on the other hand. He lives in iowa and his ex lives in Wisconsin with their daughter. He is ordered the 4th weekend of every month in the county she resides. Alternate holidays (we can bring her back home for holidays) and he gets two three week periods during the summers with a week in between. (We also can bring her to iowa in the summers) He goes to get her beginning of his possession and her mother is to pick her up from us at the beginning of hers. She is only almost 3 so they are doing whatā€™s considered a step up plan firstā€¦then by the time sheā€™s 5 itā€™s a standard or expanded standard plan.

Tell him to see his attorney immediately. I think she needs have the move approved - in court.

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I would imagine it depends on the state they live in. In Florida it it 50/50 custody unless there are valid reasons not to. I doubt moving far away here would be allowed. I would say speak to an attorney for correct info.

Why are all these comments about stoping the move? She asked for insight how to cope and make it workā€¦ Yea it sucks but google way to be long distance parents. Write letters, write emails, schedule phone calls, facetime, zoom, virtual time doing something together, send care packages, gift cards, plan the trip for certain times or holidays or school breaks. Be creative and consistent!!! Its harder but its neccessary to keep the bond with kids and show you are still very present in their lives!!!

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The dad can get custody if the other party moves out state in most states

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Typically there has to be an agreement in court before something drastic like that happens

In some States she would have to get permission from the Judge to moveā€¦ She will have to meet him 1/2 way

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Get a court order for visitation ASAP. Then the mother will have to prove to the courts why moving the child away from the father is more beneficial. If she canā€™t the judge can deny the move.

Otherwise you will most likely get the child on school vacations only. Unless you go the entire way to visit.

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She might need permission to leave with him. Every state is different tho.

My kids dad is in the military and he gets summers and every other Christmas. He moves a lot

He can take her to court and judge wonā€™t allow her to move he should do that if he wants to see his son often or he can do summers .

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She canā€™t move that far without him letting her. My brothers kids live out of state. He is supposed to get them on holidays and over the summers

In my state u have to get approvement from other parent and judge to move u jist cant move

Canā€™t move without fathers permission

Maybe it can be arranged through the court if you were married

Summers and winter break

Get a lawyer donā€™t let her move period and get the custody order in your state. If she moves to another state he can get sole custody of the child.

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One parent gets full custody and a parenting plan for visits has to be agreed upon. Just went through it with my kid

Typically your brother would get the kiddo every summer and every other holiday.

Are yā€™all saying That the dad gets the whole summer? This has been an issue in my coparenting relationship in Texas and would really like some insight.

She has to go through the courts to get approval to move (if there is a parenting plan) or give up custody.

If a parenting plan isnā€™t in place after she moves - after 6 months she can file for one. At which your brother would have to do the traveling.

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I do not think the child can leave the state, unless agreed upon.

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I honestly donā€™t know why patents put their kids through this. I would love nothing more than to move but my kids dad and their family is here so why would I do that to him/them. A friend of mine has to put their kid on a plane solo every holiday and every summer. Thatā€™s no life for a child and provides no stability what so ever.

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Ok, so how far is it acceptable to move?

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You have to go through courts to get permission to make the move if Dad appeals ā€¦ everything needs to be done in a timely manner ā€¦ is she is out fo state for more than 6 months without Dads petition then when he puts papers in motion he would most likely get Full summer and winter breaks and anything else he can negotiate in deal ā€¦ seek Lawyer immediately and get papers rolling

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My brother would get his son for 2 or 3 weeks over his Christmas Break and then all summer.

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Contact an attorney.

Depending on whatā€™s in the paper work. She may not beable to leave the state.

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In my state he would need to approve

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Unless your brother approves of the move, then the mother canā€™t move and will need to go to court for permission to move. He can also say that he will have the child since she wants to move away and she has contact during the school holidays

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She cant take their kid/kids more than 100 miles away without the dad agreeing unless she takes him to court and the judge decides its ok for one reason or the other. He should go to the court before she moves bt if she leaves without him agreeing or having a court order she can get in trouble parental kidnapping.

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In Florida you canā€™t do that without the other parentā€™s written consent

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Summer with dad. School time with mom. Dads for minimum of 1 week for Christmas. If school has fall break and spring break he may get them too if he is willing to pay for the transportation for these two. Best wishes for your brother and his children.

Dad gets half the summer vacation and every other holiday break (Easter and Thanksgiving one school year; Xmas and new years the next school year- split the transportation costs)

It depends on the state he lives in and that they have a current child custody order through. Tell him to consult a lawyer and find out his rights and what can be done.

He can have it put in the papers stating she canā€™t move out of state.

She needs to have full custody if sheā€™s taking the kids out of state otherwise she cannot move out of state without that kind of custody otherwise have been 50/50 then they have to write it in a plan the judge has to sign it and then you go from there

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He definitely needs an attorney