I’ve raised my stepdaughter since she was four months old. She is now 6. My husband and I fought in court because BM was on heroin really bad, and BM ended up getting every weekend supervised visits under grandmother’s supervision since SD was three years old. In September 2019 (this year, still fresh), BM died of a heroin overdose. SD went through a traumatic anxiety phase and couldn’t sleep well at all( she had these problems previously when BM would pop in and out for months at a time) grandma would lie to us and still tell us BM (her daughter) was still showing for visits so that she could still see SD on the weekends. Her therapist suggested we cut overnights at anyone’s house for the time being because she couldn’t handle the different routines & structures at bedtimes. It has worked tremendously, and my SD has done an entire 360; her anxiety level at bedtime dropped, and she was able to leave “fun” places (she has separation anxiety) without freaking out. So we still let grandma see her every other weekend (being nice since she just lost her daughter), but we did not allow any sleepovers (following two pediatric therapists advice) the visits where every other weekend from Friday 12 pm-5:30 pm, Saturday from 9/10 am-5:30 pm & Sunday 9/10-5:30pm. We even let her have her thanksgiving day from 9 am-3 pm…Grandma lives a stone throw away, so we didn’t worry too much about the dropping off and picking SD up, giving that grandma does not have a license. She only Ubered a few times or got rides a few times. Majority of the time my husband or I was doing the picking up and dropping off… anyhow grandma was very upset about us cutting the sleepovers & I tried telling her that the therapists that SD sees weekly advise that the sleepovers be cut since they are over whelming for SD (grandma lets her stay up late, eat sugar for breakfast lunch and dinner, and lets her sleep in her bed with her) I get it she’s grandma she’s suppose to spoil, but I don’t agree that it should be designated weekends with grandma because again it’s overwhelming for her and she’s correlating that with love. My SD has a brother and sister (my biological kids). I don’t see why she’d want to tear them apart! It’s been almost three months since the passing of BM, and my husband was served paperwork by Grandma after picking his daughter up from grandmas apartment. We were told by grandmas boyfriend, who served my husband the paperwork that grandma is going “crazy” and he caught her yelling at her self in her bedroom the other day (he thought she was on the phone having an argument) you can tell he felt bad serving paperwork to the BIOLOGICAL father! She wants shared custody! I couldn’t believe that she’s really that selfish over sleepovers when they are not good for SD and she has seen the improvement in her anxiety/ behavior, it just to me is very selfish! We live in the state of PA, and I was wondering, are grandparent rights hard to get? We’ve heard from her therapists & a social worker that it’s incredibly hard to get but wanted to get other options on the matter. My SD has a loving home my husband and I have always done what’s best for our children & I can’t help but jump into momma bear mode, SD has already been through so much I don’t feel it’s necessary to put her through more. Grandmas is using her as a band-aide for her deep issues; it’s very sickening to me. SD=step daughter BM=bio mom
Poor grandma, lost her daughter and now losing her granddaughter.
I don’t know the laws there but normally with therapists and doctors notes sent to the judge that they know what is going on, she still probably will not get the overnights since it is not okay for the child. I understand she just lost her daughter but that isn’t a reason to try and take her granddaughter from y’all. Especially since he is the biological father. Just keep with the day visits for now then follow the judges rules once you go to court
The judge might look into the face that the therapist says no overnight visits. Maybe have her therapist write something along those lines so you have proof
In Ohio theres no such thing as grandparents rights. Subpoena the drs and therapists that recommend this and have proof she still gets to see her and have contact consistently. It’s an awful situation but it sounds like you’re doing all the things you can and are trying to be as loving and supportive of the kid as possible.
Different states have different laws. I would consult a family attorney and see what they recommend.
I don’t see this working out for the grandmother. The child is in a happy, healthy home and overnights were stopped due to doctors advice. She still gets visitation so I’m not sure what the problem is to begin with. This woman seems like she has some emotional/ mental problems. She should see someone instead of ruining the child’s mental state.
Look at your state most no such thing as grandparents rights
Every state is different.
If a state does have Grandparents rights, they look at how much time the child has previously spent with the grandparent.
My heart breaks for grandma.
There’s no way she would get shared custody. At the most they may allow her an overnight visit but all you would have to do is present evidence from the therapist suggesting that it’s not a good idea. The father has full custody and that’s how it will stay. No judge is going to turn around and give a grandparent shared custody. She’s lucky she even has visitation to be honest with you. It sounds like though she doesn’t have court-ordered visitation and that was solely for the birth mother and she just took advantage of it? If that’s the case you can very easily stop visitation . Then she would have to go to court and argue why she should be allowed visitation and honestly it’s going to be very hard for her to get . You have to do what is healthy and right for the child and it sounds like that’s what you’re doing so no judge is going to overrule.
Lot of States don’t have grandparent rights
Depends on the state. In PA the grandparents don’t have a chance IF both parents are alive. However once one passes or the parents separate, it is a different story. I just recently went to court as my fiance’s mom was trying to take custody of our children, she’s mentally ill so we had stopped speaking because of things she’s done. But the judge told her she has absolutely no standing. May be different for you as the mother has now passed away
- The grandmother will not get shared custody without bio father agreeing, unless she can prove him and/or your home to be unfit. 2) Each state is different, however grandparents generally do not have ‘rights’ unless in extreme cases, like the death of a child. In this case, that would qualify, in NY anyway. All that would mean is that the grandparent(s) may petition the court for visitation, which would be granted if the home is safe, etc. This usually only happens if the child of the deceased is being withheld, which does not seem to be the case here. 3) A judge will likely understand this is a transition for everyone and as the therapist has suggested overnights stop for a period of time, the court should agree to that.
You havento request for a psych evaluation and also ask her therapist to vouch in court as well.
In indiana there’s no grandparents rights
So depends on your state
In WA my mom couldn’t get custody of my nephew even with proof of drug abuse in the home. It’s extremely hard for grandparents to get rights. She’s in a great home!!! Get all the Dr’s recommendations in writing.
Why cant the Grandma sleepover there every blue moon.
I really dont think you have anything to worry aboutn
You have the therapist and drs backing you up. Maybe get a lawyer to help. But, you should be fine.
Think about it from the Grandmothers point of view. She had to go thru her daughter dealing with a drug problem. There’s no telling what her daughter put her thru. She probably didn’t have alot time to be close to her and now she has passed away. The only thing she has that’s close to her daughter is her granddaughter. If the granddaughter wants to see her I don’t see why that’s a problem. She lost her daughter now she is losing her granddaughter too
I didn’t read the entire thing. Your SD is seeing a therapist. Your following the advice of the therapist. IMO a court will take the welfare of the child first. What’s best for the child, will happen. You didn’t cut visitation off. You just modified them to not include overnights, because of the PTSD and trauma the child suffered.
Her father would have full custody. A court wouldn’t mess with that, unless he was found to be unfit. You and your spouse are doing everything to protect and provide for the child. Meeting her everyday needs and emotional ones as well.
Grandparents rights are granted when being away from grands causes an emotional distress on the child. She could argue after seeing her every weekend for 3 years that the child should still get those visits.
I think you need to be more considerate of the grandma though… she lost her daughter and feels she is losing her granddaughter too. She also loves your daughter. Don’t go into this with the intention of taking all rights from her. Try to work it out with her, maybe have her come speak the the therapist too. I think there is a way to solve this without taking someone else out of the childs life.
I will also say that if she is granted court-ordered visitation they will probably rule that she must arrange for that and without a vehicle it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be too reliable. It’s very nice that you’re offering to take the child to and from her home as it is, but you’re under absolutely no legal obligation to do that. If she wants to see her granddaughter that badly then she’s going to have to figure out a way to come and get her.
I just looked this up. I think the court will rule in your husband’s favor but I would cut off weekend visits immediately.
Check the laws of your state.
In my state it’s almost impossible to have grandparents rights legally inforced. The only real time is of there has been regular visits and overnights and then all contact stopped. But with your daughters therapist suggesting this and grandma still have visits, I don’t see her winning! It’s about what’s best for the child, not what any adults want or think they’re entitled to!
Get all medical personnel to write letters, school etc on how she’s coping. I’d consider stopping visits at grandma’s house and only see her in a public setting and supervise (she sounds like she’d do anything and I’d want to monitor what’s being said)
My husband’s GREAT grandmother got grandparents rights to our kids. It’s one weekend a month. No worries
I live in nj. My ex husbands family took us to court in 2017 trying to get grandparent visitation because my ex went behind my back and his wife’s back and signed paperwork saying that his family could have my daughter and his other kids on certain days. Needless to say. His family couldn’t prove that my child was going to suffer psychological harm by not seeing them and they were denied. Then his family appealed it and once again got denied. His family has locked my daughter in bedrooms to question her. Feed her nothing but junk food and talk bad about me in front of her. They haven’t seen her in over a year. Thank god. Unless stepdaughters grandmother can prove that she’s going to psychologically harmed by not spending the nights there. Then she doesn’t stand a chance. Don’t sweat it.
I would talk to legal aid or call an attorney in the phonebook that specializes in family law. But, I see this grandmother creating a bunch of drama. Wasting money and time in court. When she should be healing from her daughter’s death.
I could be wrong but PA didnt have grandparents legal custody rights if the birth parent is alive and capable of caring for the child. You didn’t keep the child from the grandmother and are following the therapist advice I dont thing the court would go against the therapist of a child
I think grandma lost her daughter and her granddaughter is all she has left and has basically lost her too. That’s probably why she is reacting the way she is and yelling at herself is probably her grieving.
Very few states have grandparents rights. I’d get with a lawyer and go over your situation. Regardless, her therapist can submit something with his recommendations.
It is hard for grandparents to get rights in any state unless there is abuse in the home. They would not give her shared custody, if anything it would just be the visits she’s already getting. I wouldn’t worry too much since the Dr and therapist agree that she has anxiety issues and it’s best to not have overnights and such. She can try all she wants.
What ever you do. Just don’t be a bitch🤷
Not sure how PA works but here in AZ they always look at the child’s best interest. It sounds like you can prove that you guys are what’s best and you can easily prove that with those therapists. Grandparents rights are usually just visits, not custody and with her “going crazy” I wouldn’t worry too much. It’ll probably just be a pain in the butt & a headache.
Check your state most states dont offer grand parents rights…
Family isn’t what it use to be. Maybe there’s specifics you didn’t state but why would you want to stop visitiation with her grandma? Unless the trauma is coming from her?? Maybe I misunderstood or missed something. Any person that is loving, not a threat or danger, and is a part of the child should be able to show them love and see them. Why would anyone want to stop a grandmother from seeing their grandchild?
As long as your not ripping her away, then your doing the right thing for the time being:) just stay with your visit times. Your very kind and hopefully grandma will come around to that after her trauma also settles.
Firstly, you are wonderful and a great step mom to love her and care for her this much. Secondly, I’m sure the grandma is terrified that she wont get to be apart of her grandchilds life now that the mother died. I’m sure she is still recovering from the loss. So that’s probably her perspective! I would try to make her understand that she can have sleepovers again when the child has calmed down and is ready 
From experience with a situation like this. But this was in the state of missouri. Grandparent received 8 hours a month visitation court ordered. No overnights. Child was involved with a therapist. Dont stress to much. Just get a lawyer and statement from the therapists and you should be just fine. Even if she gets visitations courts should not go against what a therapist says due to the mental health of a child being very important. But I would stop the visitations immediately until the court decides. Because if your stepdaughters grandmother decides to not give her back to you on a visit thats a whole other issue
I’d get a lawyer, and make sure the therapists are BOTH available for IN PERSON court visits. I hope this is just her grief talking. If she loses… maybe don’t let your hurt feelings over this convince you that she shouldn’t see that little girl. Both their heads need to be in the right place first, though.
It’s pretty much impossible in most states for the grandparents to win like this especially since you are still let her she the child while at the same time following the advice of her therapist
I’ve looked into this bc sadly I was threatened with grandparent rights one time. It’s extremely hard for a grandparent to get rights if the child is in a solid household and being taken care of and if they end up getting rights all it ever is are supervised visits with the child’s legal guardian(s) present.
It sou ds to me like you are already more than fair with grandma. You have followed everything that the courts and therapists have suggested. I’m sure therapists will testify on your behalf. Its doesnt sound like grandma has a leg to stand on she already gets more than enough visitation. Your doing everything right
I know somebody that lost their daughter she was married with 3 babies under 3 yrs.old. They were young parents.But the dad couldn’t handle his wife passing. He left & left the babies with his mother n law.He stayed gone almost 3 yrs.when he came back he picked the kids up after a few visits.he took them & never said " thank you…kiss my butt…or nothing- just took the babies & never brought them back for a visit - no phone calls nothing. She took him to court but in Tennessee theres no grandparents rights. Its sad what some parents - grandparents put their babies through. Good luck. I don’t think your husband has anything to worrie about.
She can fight but she most likely won’t win weekends as grandmas don’t typically have weekend visitation when both parents are alive. It’s not as important as having a relationship with parents.
She can get visitation ordered depending on the state because the mother is deceased, but it typically isn’t at the same level as a parental visitation. Only meant to ensure that her mother’s family is still allowed a relationship with her despite her mother’s death.
And even IF it were to make it to court a GAL would be speaking to the therapists anyways and helping to ensure that any visitation is in the best interest of the child.
It’s always best to speak to a lawyer but I don’t see any judge siding with grandma over a therapists advice
Two fb pages that might be able to help you
The Addict’s Mom- send a message and they will direct you to the page that will help you better since you aren’t the mom of an addict.
Stepmothers support group
In Indiana there is no grandparent rights per the courts.
In Tennessee the only way they can claim grandparents rights would be if the child had LIVED with the grandparent for an extended amount of time. I wouldn’t worry about it at all
Okay, I think she needs therapy. Not court papers. Therapy first, court orders later. That’s still her grandma. Shes still family to your step daughter. and family takes care of family.
Therapist only go by what they hear from the party that is paying them. I doubt that grandma is bad influence. I think stepmom is overstepping her authority. Stepmother need to step back. Grandparents have rights.
State of Florida if one parent dies it is up to the other parent whether they allow child to see grandparents most states no grandparents rights at all
OK, so this advice is based off of the laws here in NM, but all you would have to do is show the Judge written statements from your step daughter’s therapists (you can even subpoena them to Court if need be) stating that the overnights are not in the best interest of the child. If you have proof (texts, emails, etc…) that you have told the grandmother about your concerns and about what the therapists said, you can even request attorneys fees. Considering what grandma’s boyfriend told you, I would request that grandma have supervised visitation with the child until she can prove that she is psychologically stable.
I’m in Texas and the only reason my parents got grandparent rights for my niece( my brothers daughter) was because he was locked up. So they basically served as her guardians until he got out. Her mother was her legal guardian and my parents were basically “my brother” until he got out. Now the rights rolled over to him. I think it’s only certain circumstances and her just wanting more time or sleepovers is not going to get that child taken away from you. Especially if you have documentations from the pediatrician AND therapist stating that they recommend her only having visitations and also that her mood has improved now that she spend most of her time in y’alls home. I cannot see why a judge would take that from you guys. And the grandma yelling to herself…sounds like shes having a mental breakdown and I wouldn’t want my child around that until that is taken care of.
- your post is way too long…seriously we don’t need that information and 2. the lawyer who helped the grandmother with custody papers just pulled the wool over her eyes. Grandmother has no rights. She wouldn’t have rights even if her daughter was still alive.
Can a lawyer we can’t tell you what you could do good luck
I am a grandma who is raising a 14yr old granddaughter myself. But I am having problems with child mother, my daughter. So I can understand some of what grandma is going thru. But if the child has you and her bio dad and therapist telling her what is best and she sees that it’s working , then she has some serious issues. I think that time with grandma should be cut down some and if she doesn’t change then entirely. It may hurt the child for a while but with the therapist she will be alright and maybe even progress better and more secure of herself. You should get documents from the Therapist and doctors. And document child behavior before and after her visits with grandma.
Make sure to gather sd paperwork from both therapist. Make sure to inform the judge that grandma’s bf said she was screaming at herself in the mirror. I don’t think anything will come of it but gather the paperwork, court order the therapist, grandmas bc, and hire a lawyer. Make it clear if she wants a fight that you are cutting off everything until the judge rules and that you guys were being nice. Protect that baby at all cost. Most states don’t have grandparents rights. My guardians tried this crap and got no where. They aren’t even allowed to see my kids without my say so now. Explain to sd that she will see grandma later bc you don’t need grandma kidnapping her. If she is yelling at herself in the mirror she is not ok in the head. Make her take a surprise physiological evaluation. Have it written that until she can complete that that she won’t be anywhere near her granddaughter. My guardians tried this bc I cut out overnights too. I laughed told them there was no such thing. Cps and dcs come out often bc they call over stupid reasons. Last it was bc my daughter didn’t tell her hi. Yup so I have abused her apparently. Forget the fact she was 6 and there was food where we were heading. Dcs and cps just show up and laugh anymore. Last time my daughter refused pictures saying she was over it this is the millionth time this year and they had enough pictures. Only been the 12th time. But they can’t take her pictures without her saying ok. So ya don’t worry to much but get all your ducks in the road and be prepared for grandma to retaliate bc she is getting exactly what she asked for. Nothing.
Same for pa, no grandparent rights
My mother died when my brothers were 2 and 4 and i was 9 months her parents were bitter and tried to get shared custody and visitation and my dad had to fight in court for SIX years they were ultimately granted nothing but left me and my siblings with terrible anxeity issues and separation issues its so hard on the kids so grandma is definitely selfish
At best she gets visitation, which bio dad can request be at a visitation center.
You need to get a lawyer and search the state you live in.
Maybe you should tell the courts grandma has been yelling at herself in front of the mirror and her visitation can be changed to supervised if she wants to play dirty.
The child and her mental welfare is so much more important than grandma’s wants. She gets to spend time with the child without a court decree. I don’t see a judge going along with grandma’s tantrums. Get paperwork from child’s doctor’s and take to court with you.
In nc were we live grandparents have no rights at all
Grandparent rights are normally only if their child is deceased and they can prove the other parent is withholding visitation. Reasonable visitation is like once every few months though. Also she will have to prove she will enrich the child’s life. As long as you have all of that paperwork from the therapists, she won’t get anything and she’s going to owe all of the court fees for losing maybe even your lawyer fees
I wouldnt take grandma away. Shes already lost her mom.
First off stepmom has been raising the girl since she was 4 months old. So I feel she has some say and most courts would also hear her out. Secondly Mt where I live grandparents rights are incredibly hard to get unless there are circumstances where the mother and father are deemed unfit. In my state if the parents are sharing custody the child sees the mother’s parents on her time and the fathers parents on his time. The courts here will not take statements from counselors or therapist they have to be present in court. So I would get a lawyer to help you. The fact that you are still allowing grandma to see her will work in your favor. Also since bio mom passed away I would look into adopting her. Since you’ve been raising her all this time. It will help you have a more legal leg to stand on when making decisions for her. I hope everything works out for all of you.
In PA grandparents rights are incredibly hard to get they would have to find you totally unable to provide a stable home. They will more than likely just set up a type of visitation schedule. Which would have to be agreed upon by both parties.
Depends on if your state has grandparents rights or not. There’s not many states that do. Especially since you guys are already allowing the child to see her and not keeping her from them and make sure you get something from her therapists on there recommend sleep arrangements a judge would most likely find her visitation is already more than enough.
In my state and a few others in the case where a birth parent is either deceased, incapacitated or incarcerated. Grandparents can apply for rights and unless they are unsafe themselves they are almost 100% granted.
this little girl is only 3 yrs old & she is having problems??? That alone I would worry about. They can not be any shared custody with the grandmother because her daddy is alive & she is living with him & you !!! But the grandmother does have a right to see her grandchild. And how do you know the grandmothers boyfriend is just being a asshole & causing trouble.??? You stop to the house to bring her granddaughter to her, how is she acting?? And I really don’t think the boyfriend as any real paperwork stating she is crazy. NO Dr would give him this…it’s called HIPAA
You can have her therapist show the papers too the judge or tell them that it is not good for the child and let the courts know the gmas bf has seen her yelling at herself in front of the mirror. The judge should look at the child’s mental welfare and not what the GMA wants plus grandparents have no rights in PA especially if a parent is still alive. If neither parents were alive it would be different
I would have the judge request the psychiatrist medical records along with a testimony.
Better yet, have all those papers ready and enter them as evidence in your case.
Hopefully, you’ll have a decent judge whom will take into account the medical recommendations of the psychiatrist.
Document EVERYTHING. Keep a diary and write an entry every day of her behavior and we’ll being. If you can have her start one it would be best. You can search for kids mood diaries. You can also enter this in court as evidence.
Depends on the state. IL doesn’t do grandparents rights anymore
Maybe she sees her daughter in the child, and its what’s keeping her going? Sounds luke a sad situation all round, I’d try to sort something out of court if possible
While grandparents rights ARE a thing in PA the courts will take the recommendations from the child’s doctor’s as well and will likely keep everything the same as you have it now (day time visits with no overnights)
You are her mother. Yourve raised her. All credit to you. Seriously. What a amazing women you are. It is never easy raising kids especially kids that aint biologically yours.You put your foot down and let the courts know grandma is unstable do what you have to do.
In the uk grandparents have no rights however it goes on behalf of the child’s best interest
Ok I’ve read this properly and I doubt grandma will get shared custody, it’s out of best interest the princess stays with you, and may I just add that I think you are amazing, reading this made me feel so happy that not every woman is bitter towards there step-kids and I find it so beautiful that you have raised her as your own, and if a judge has any sense he will definitely see that also, grandma is probably having a meltdown having just lost her daughter and wants to console in her daughters daughter, which I kinda get, can grandma not spent the night at your house? Or maybe you stay at her house with SD? Just an idea, I always stay at my mums with my daughter and sometimes she stays at mine too, x
She is still her family. The child is 6 ask her if she wants to go stay the night with grandma. She has been though enough already let her stay if she wants. A late bedtime isnt worth breaking a family apart like that.
Have you told her in the future she could have an overnight here and there? I’d say taking away her grandchild from her overnight for forever is pretty awful. Imagine if you had your child overnight for weekends then all of a sudden you can only see her for a few hours on the weekends…
Grandma needs to understand this isn’t in this child’s best interest. She will need to demonstrate how her having shared custody IS in the child’s best interest. The judge shouldn’t entertain a request simply Bc Gma wants it. Stability is key for children. Especially children who have experienced trauma. Visits here and there are fine. And that’s more than enough to maintain a relationship. Overnights are not necessary. Fight for what is in this child’s best interest.
Depends on where you live! In Alberta Canada we dont have grandparents rights but we have access you can apply for
She may get weekends (with sleepovers) but id be shocked if courts gave her shared custody. Shes the grandma not the mom.
Not sure. But get custody yourself asap! That’s your baby and you should be able to fend for her. You AND dad
At least in cali grandparents dont have rights unless they can prove the parents are abusing or neglecting the kid. It makes no sense to me why she would even get weekends. Esp. If you tell the judge this idea was brought on by a therapist. She will be laughed out of court at least here she would be
I would have the therapist chime in with some documents of SD behavior durning the changing of overnights and progress and such. That help your side of not getting overnights. It seems you all are still providing a sufficient amount of time with the grandmother. Some grandparents dont even see the kids that much.
No judge is going to give her any legal rights.
That baby has been thru enough and your above and beyond efforts are documented.
She has a good stable life in your home, something that was clearly robbed from her early on. Do not stress. It wont happen
I would start adoption proceedings immediately to give you more clout. Grandparents can get visitation rights but I’ve never heard of one getting shared custody. If you adopt your SD you’re mom period.
Here in Illinois, grandparents can get the same rights the parent has/had. Only If their child is deceased.
You definitely need to try and adopt her ASAP.
Quit calling her step daughter and adopt her legally.
It’s great you have Dr/therapist documentations. I say grandma is lucky for the time she gets. One weekend a month is what I’ve heard of grandparents getting. I really think she is pushing it and it’s going to come back and bite her in the ass. Good luck…Maybe looking into becoming a legal guardian or possibly adopting
The only way grandparents get rights is if the have a significant POSITIVE impact on the child’s upbringing.
document everything. record phone calls, visits, anything her boyfriend says, make sure the therapist put in every detail in her report, and get a lawyer who specializes in custody cases.
As long as you guys are still allowing SD to have a relationship with BM family they wont win and have the doctors and therapists testify that it’s there recommendation that sleepovers not happen and where we are even if you win grandparents rights you only get one weekend a month. Were from Michigan though.
Here in pa the only way grandparents get any rights is if their child (childs parent) died. Other then that there is no longer grandparents rights. (At least in pa)
Here in the Carolinas when a parent passes the grandparents can get rights as long as they can prove they’ve been in said childs life VERY actively I know this because my husband passed and I made sure to make sure his mom didn’t get any rights to our children. Idk how it is in pa if I were yall I’d go file for legal custody asap
I understand where the grandma is coming from in a way
She just lost her daughter and maybe having her granddaughter spend the nights helps with the loss
I get it,
i just lost my nana who I was very close to, she basically raised me, it’s hard and it does take a toll on you mentally
You need to try and adopt your stepdaughter and try and get the therapist to write a statement and sign it for court and to show the grandmother that shes not mentally ready right now
maybe you could have the grandma come and stay with night with you on the weekends sometimes that way all the kids get attention and love that might make your stepdaughter a little more comfortable and it might help her.
I’m not disagreeing with you but I am trying to suggest things that might make this easier and might make it to where you can get the case dropped
The grandma might have alzheimers or dementia though so be careful with that cuz people who have symptoms of it have violent outbursts sometimes
Hopefully things get better
Take the therapist notes and that should be enough to fix everything they will mostly let them see eachother but take all that paperwork in for her state the reason why no spending the nights and you should be fine
So I am going to disagree with every single person on this list.
If we all died would we want the step mother of our children to try to hurry up and adopt our children so our mothers can’t have a relationship with our children?!
You may not like how this grandma does thing but that does not change the fact that this grandma is her blood. Taking away overnights all together is absurd unless she is a harm or abusive. Talk to her and say a healthy breakfast, sleeping in her own bed at night and so on is what is preventing us from having her stay the night and I bet she will change her routine to see her grandchild.
This child may grow to resent you very much for taking away the only link to her mother.
This grandma sounds traumatized by life’s events.
This is all coming from a stepmom who helped raise her sd for 8 years. You always do what’s best for the child not ourselves.
I’m not sure. But you need an attorney. Unless the father and you are proven to be unfit, I don’t see grandma winning. Keep proof of what the therapists and other doctors have to say especially concerning sleepovers as that seems to be the biggest issue. You seem to be on the right track though. Good luck!