How has sports helped your kids?

Let him pick his own hobby, dont push him to fulfill a societal norm.

Does it have to be sports he spends his time on ? Why don’t you ask him what type of hobby he’d like to do.
I was forced I to cadets and I absolutely hated it and if my mom had just asked what I wanted to do I would have actually had fun

Find a club that suits the things he’s interested in, I have twin boys same age, ones really active and the other isn’t really into much but both love building models… current ones are Lego cars! Talk to him and find out if there’s anything g he really enjoys, if not then maybe you & his dad could take turns on doing different things with him so he can learn new things and see what’s out there.

I don’t force my kids into things. But if they choose to start something, then they’re married to it until the season is over. My oldest played baseball one spring season and one summer season. Then he decided he was done. He started playing an instrument in the 5th grade. That I wasn’t letting him quit no matter what because in high school marching band, he will find life time friends and it will keep him out of trouble. He is a senior this year, and I was absolutely right in not letting him give up his instrument. You have to find something he will enjoy then nurture it.

I wouldn’t push it on him. There are more options then sports. Sounds like the dad is being more supportive then you are. It’s not about how you feel or want it’s about how he feels he’s getting to the age where that starting to matter.

Maybe try a singular sport that doesnt depend on being on a team like karate, swim, or chess.

If he doesn’t want to do it then don’t make him that should be his choice.

I agree with your husband. Maybe it’s time to let him decide.

If he doesnt wanna do it let him be a kid. Let him explore other routes.

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Ask why he doesn’t want to play then try volleyball tennis etc

Let him decide what he wants to do. Don’t push the kid cause the more you push the more he will resist.

Sit down and talk to him. Don’t talk at him because you think you know what is best. Find out WHY he doesn’t want to play anymore. And go from there. LISTEN to him and actually HEAR what he is saying and expressing.
He could be being bullied, he could have been made uncomfortable by a coach or other adult involved with the sport, he could be interested in something else, or any number of other reasons.
I personally know grown men who where abused by a coach, tried to quit the sport, but too afraid to tell, and their parents forced them to continue playing, and by doing so subjected their child to years of more abuse.

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I don’t force my boys to do sports but I do encourage it and I make sure they are in something each season. They get to choose so I think that helps. We have done wrestling, baseball, taekwando, soccer, football. There has to be some sport or activity or club that he wants to be a part of. Look at options give him choices and let him decide.

Karate. My oldest was never interested in sports. I signed him up for summer karate camp when he was 13 and he fell in love with it. He’s 30 now, with 2 second degree Black belts and an entire “family” for life. (The local karate community is pretty tight knit).

Uhhh if he doesn’t want to play sports he doesn’t need to? I’m confused. I never enjoyed sports and my mom never pushed me to do anything with my time. She let me just enjoy things I was interested in at home…music, coloring, technology, etc. I didn’t leave the house for any activity and I turned out just fine. It would have pushed me away to be forced into something just because my mom felt like I needed to be involved in something. That’s not cool.

My kids only 4 months old. But I did rodeo when I was younger. It made life long friends, I got to travel, and it taught me responsibilities. It also got me a scholarship for college.

It definitely keeps mine of off games and the streets. I have both of mines in basketball and volleyball every summer. If keeps been busy and out if trouble.

There are lots of different activities besides sports… what else does he like?

Our rule is any physical activity is fine, you choose what it is (organized). My son is choosing tae Kwon do this semester, daughter, ballet.

If he don’t wanna do sports so what!!! The fuck? This lady is PRESSED. Ask him what he’s interested in and go from there :face_with_raised_eyebrow: freaking weirdo

If they want to play cool, if not cool

My kids act a donkey when they don’t have a sport. They do better in school, at home, and socially during sport seasons. I think it’s super important for them to stay active and have something to work for.

:purple_heart::yellow_heart:blessed be momma
Support and listen to your baby take a step back stop asking why and observe. Listen to your instincts and what he is NOT telling you… Peers & outside influences are clever and resourceful more convincing then his own knowledge or moral compass. :two_hearts:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How has sports helped your kids? - Mamas Uncut

There are many benefits to kids playing sports…but your son will not gain any of those positive things if he is forced to when he has articulated that he is no longer interested. Maybe encourage him to try some new things he finds interesting.

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Let your Kid pick for himself. Mine chose to do the RFS. Which was completely unexpected

I’m all for athletics if that’s what the kid wants to do. My oldest played soccer for 6 years then decided to stop. She’s also really artistic so she’s taken things like drawing and art classes. My 10 year old does tumbling, cheer and softball and loves it but she loves other stuff too like science and art. There are so many things for kids to do. I think sports helps in certain ways but if a child doesn’t want to do sports, it’s ok. I think we just need to let them decide in the long run.

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Every child is different, 6 of my 8 loved sports and play several at a time but 2 of my children didnt much care for sports so I encouraged them to find something they love and supported that. One of my children really enjoyed cooking and baking so we found classes and groups that helped grow in that, the other child is really in to art so we signed her up for art classes, pottery classes and found local groups for her to get into. Children do need activities no doubt we just need to listen to their needs and wants to make sure we properly support them the way they need.

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You can’t force your child to be an athlete. Try and find what interests him and encourage him to do what he enjoys.

Try martial arts, parkour, or something that he also enjoys. Lots of places will let you at least come visit for one class and see if it’s a fit. Our Rec Dept does lots of stuff beyond sports-there are community volunteer options that he could participate in as well to just see what he can find to interest him-like helping out at local animal shelter…

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Not all kids are gonna be inclined to play competitive sports and that’s okay. If you force it you’re only going to drive a wedge between the two of you. There are plenty of non physical things he can do with his time. Of you’re worried about exercise maybe you can go on family hikes/walks or go to the pool. Then he’s getting some exercise and you can use it as an opportunity to bond with him. Good luck!

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I’m a marching band kid. Pushing sports/athletics when a child is telling you they are DONE is not a good idea. Lack of interest and care leads to a lot more injuries because kids who don’t care won’t pay attention to proper training techniques.

Your kid is 12. Give him some choices - art, music, writing, archery, whatever your area has. Make a list and let him pick one and try it for a year.

Sports aren’t for everyone. Maybe they want to do something more academic. Look into science camps or something like that.

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Have him volunteer at an animal shelter or similar during his free time if you’re worried about him having too much free time. Or band, which helped me far more than sports ever did. See what he wants to do instead and what his reasons are for bot wanting to do sports. Maybe it’s just for right now…maybe he’s being teased? Maybe he wants to do something non-competitive?

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I pushed sports on my oldest since he was 5-6 at 15 he was done didn’t want anything to do with sports which is sad cause he was a great football player and even did kickboxing. I was sad but I blame myself for pushing him so hard :woman_shrugging:

I had told my son at that age, he had to do something… He chose the band, all of his friends were in the band… he met his future , awesome wife , in the band. Best move !!!

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Ask him what he wants to do! Karate, gymnastics, whatever…

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He might just be burnt out for playing sports so much and might have other interests , it’s good for kids to take breaks. If you push to hard, he might not play again. Hes a kid , he needs to be a kid. I have the opposite problem with my son, hes never played a sport and has zero interest, he’s a gamer and inside kid but we finally agreed to him playing baseball in January so we will see how it goes

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Not everyone enjoys playing sports, and that includes adults, the same as not every one enjoys school, but instead are brilliant working with their hands. I’m agreeing 100% with your husband…
Perhaps your son would love to learn music for example…have you ever asked him what he would love to do, or take part in. Listen to what he says, and accept what he says. You may have to give him time to think about it. As a mother of sons and grandsons, they need time to think about. Don’t nag

At 12 let him try something he like.
My rule as been do something. Volunteer work, library, sports, build something with wood, crafts anything you choose spend at least 12 hours a week doing. This has worked on my 4 kids and 2 grandkids and 1 great grandkid

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My daughter has is 14 and has played soccer since she was 6. The rule in our house is you can’t just sit around and do nothing. Some type of physical activity. Not all kids are the same but for my daughter it has definitely helped her to be more organized with her time. I’ve noticed when she isn’t playing sports she doesn’t keep up with chores and such bc she has no sense of urgency. During the season and school everything is done bc she has very little time to get things done.

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My children have learned how to work hard, keep their commitments, be part of a team and how to be decent people thru sports. They have made long lasting friendships and I couldn’t be happier with the people they are becoming. Maybe he’s just not interested in those sports anymore which is fine but I agree, he needs some activity to keep himself occupied rather than just video games or sitting inside. Find something new he likes it is interested in and try something else.

Track helps with all sports. My daughter was a total klutz before track. In 7th and 8th grades she participated but never really placed. Though hard work with a great coach she started placing and now is heading to college on scholarships for track and academics.

I am not a fan of sports for kids. It teaches them to be to clicky and this gang/team mentality. I am actually very happy the only sport in my kids middle school is flag football.

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I agree with your husband. Maybe consider doing something as a family. Have one on one time with him. Get him interested in doing a hobby with you to help create a stronger bond.

Umm maybe you should let your kids decide what they want to do. Don’t force them into sports. That can cause burnout and some aggression towards you. He’s 12. He may not want to do sports now. Maybe he just wants a break. Let him. I bet in a few years he’ll change His mind again.

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If you feel he needs something to do with his time maybe get him interested in reading or crafts maybe some kind of instrument would be good like drums or guitar.

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I never played sports-hated playing them growing up. I had other hobbies, mainly reading and acting. I obtained two degrees from a great school after graduating high school and have a good job now. I still don’t enjoy sports.

If he doesn’t want to participate he isn’t going to get anything out of it … maybe look into something else … swimming, chess club, youth theater, art classes

I would say he has to do something with his time. My daughter is about the same age & she knows you get a sport or you get band, but you aren’t spending HS sitting on your butt.

Same issue. Had my kid in sports since he was bout 6, now at 17 he’s not interested anymore. I’m not sure what happened/ why?

Have you offered other activities (other sports) or arts or music instead?

Maybe look into scouts for him?

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Have you asked him why he feels that way?

Don,t make him do it maybe he has something else in mind

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Don’t force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. That will only cause him to resent you

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I wouldn’t push him to hard.

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Why does he need something to with his time? Why can’t he focus on school, friends, or other hobbies; and just be a kid while he is only 12? My friends who’s parents pushed like it sounds you are ended up being angry with their parents for years and HATED the activities they were pushed in to. So how about let him just be a kid and calm it down some. He doesn’t need every moment of his life scheduled and that is a huge issue with kids today. They are burnt out before they even graduate. So maybe listen to your husband and back it off before there is resentment formed from something this foolish.

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Have him do something else - like guitar, drawing, etc. don’t push him to do something extracurricular that he doesn’t want to - it’s supposed to be for fun.

Oook so ask what he wants to do then.

Sports should be fun.

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Maybe he’s not a sporty kid. Or doesnt want to be a sporty kid right now. My son was like that for a long time. I never pushed him, as I would never want someone to force me into activities I didn’t like.

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Why force him? Why not find something that interests him?

So my oldest plays football and wrestling. I couldn’t imagine how over weight he would have been of he didn’t stay active. He is currently 6’2" 250lb at 16. He is very well rounded. He played the Violin for 2 years. All honor classes, honor roll student. Wondering If there was a problem with the team or coaches. I had my son signed up at one place and he was miserable. He went to another football league and loved it. Went from crying before, during and after practice and games to having to be 15 minutes early. Mine also did after school clubs during spring. I would see if there is a reason behind why he wants to quit. But they offer so many different sports or activities to keep kids active.

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You really need to foster what he is into, not what he isn’t. He will resent anything you MAKE him do. Even if it was something he enjoyed before. Kids are like that. He may like something else like playing an instrument or martial arts or swimming. Swimming with a team or without is a great way to get in exercise.

Simple: every child needs their own space just to grow

My mom didn’t let us quit things we chose to start. And sports are one of the biggest learning opportunities I have ever been offered. I would just want to know his reasoning. If it’s not legit, I wouldn’t let him quit.

Forcing kids to play in sports can be harmful on their mental health. They gain nothing from it if they don’t enjoy it and often resent it.

Sports made me realize I wasn’t that competitive and kept me from making friends with intrests like mine. See if you kid wants to get into a computer club, or join a dungeons and dragons group. There are hundreds of other things to do. When kiddo is old enough, try fencing or join the SCA if you want them active, it’s much less toxic that football. Try pottery or blacksmithing, take horseback lessons, learn to sew or take a sustainable farming class and let kiddo be responsible for all the salads you eat next summer. Just because a child doesn’t want to be in sports doesn’t mean they’re lazy.

Growing up I was always allowed to sign up for anything I wanted but if I signed up for it. I wasn’t allowed to quit. I had to finish the season being I made a commitment, I had to stick to my commitment. It was great, I think at 1 point I was on every team and club my school had. Besides football and chess club. In doing that I found my passion teaching kids. Now being a mom I will raise my kids the same way. They have freedom to sign up for whatever (as long as schedules work to be picked up after school) but they must finish the season.

Why does it have to be sports? Why can’t he join a hobby or a club he’s into? Maybe he’s not into sports, maybe he’s into debate team or something

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Not every sport is good for child if tbey end up " sitting on the bench " or sidelines while the more athletically talented kids play. Perhaps an individual sport like karate or a hiking , running group or biking group that encourages personal training and “personal best times”. By the way, I am a 71 year old female who did long distance running up until a couple years ago… I still walk daily. The habits you develop when young CAN continue your whole life. It doesn’t have to be a team sport but something you enjoy.

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I let my kids decide what extracurricular activity they want to do or don’t do. Don’t force him or make a big deal out of it!

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You could consider him trying tennis, swimming, cross country, gymnastics, piano, theater…these are just a few things that my son likes instead of the popular football, baseball, basketball, and soccer!!

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Around 12 my daughter wanted to stop playing softball. She played since the age of 6. Not such a big deal, but her reasons were. She wanted to quit to spend more time with her friends that didn’t play sports. She’s 16 and thankful that I pushed her.

My son just turned 13 in April. He was interested in like baseball when he was little and 11 years old, but hasn’t played since. He loves music plays in his middle school band on clarinet ( symphonic band) and keyboard ( for Jazz band) , he lives writing, and drawing. His goal is to learn ever instrument. He taught himself to play piano by ear and made jazz band for this upcoming school year. My 10 year old son he played football for 2 years before covid. He’s not playing this season since things are normal again because he needs better behavior in school and a bit more focus on academics since it is his last year of elementary school before going to middle school and he’s been unfocused and not really wanting to try .

I think you need to watch the new space jam movie. It is actually about this topic. We’ll this topic us in the movie. Dad tries to force basketball on his 12 year old son who is interested and doing something else non sport related.

I hated my mom for making me play soccer, I hated soccer, I hated the type of girls that played soccer, I hate feeling watched. -thoughts of a 10yo me

I’ve never force my kids g/c play sports even though they came from a sporting family, when you grew up in the islands you must play rugby it was the ultimate play it or end up being call a sizzy