I’m looking for support/ advice. I’m due to have my 3rd baby on the 17th of August, and now been told that I won’t have my mum with me in the labor room as she’s going away…I’m concerned as I hate doing it without someone being there with me. My partner isn’t very supportive when it comes to this sort of stuff, as when I was in Labour with my other two, he was in and out and sleeping on a bed when I had my second and come in when I was just about to pop him out. Has anyone else has to do Labour by them self? I am so scared as I will be practically doing this on my own.
Hugs, I have done this before due to military and not being near family. It’s not so bad and you can give all the love and snuggles to baby on your own
Get you a Doula—-best experience of my life
And good friends or close cousins/aunts you could have step in??
I’d be leaving my partner
I always did mine alone felt much easier more focused than having people there different strokes for different folks i suppose my own choice too I just didn’t want fuss
His ass would be laid out!
I had to have an Emergency Csection all by myself because my fiance was at home with our son and I had to drive my self to hospital at 2AM so we didnt have anyone to watch our son. The drs were all extremely nice and understood i was upset and scared so they talked with me as much as they could. I hope everything works out for the best.
Where you at girl? I’ll come be supportive!
I had my 2nd alone, the nurses were awesome
It’s hard to sympathize with someone who is on their 3rd rodeo and is only just now deciding that they aren’t a fan of rodeos. You chose to do this on your own after the first one. A little late to get cold feet now isn’t it? It’s not your mother’s responsibility to cover for the lazy louse of a partner you picked. Having said that, I think you’ll manage just fine on your own. Mother’s adjust for their children. We just do what needs done. That’s who we are.
Mentally prepare yourself. Think positive and give yourself great self talk and prepare for a roller coaster of emotions. Above all know that you are strong and doing an amazing thing bringing life into the world and just be in the moment with you and your baby. Im sorry you are having to be alone. I was with my last for personal reasons but i will say its tough but you will get through it.
My first son when I was 16 years old his dad was there which I was married to he was a sorry sob he even slapped me once and told me to quit acting like I was in pain after 36 hours of Labor he was not in there that I remember it was in 1988 though my daughter I had in 1991 wasn’t married to her daddy none of their family was there had to do a blood test to prove he was the father after a year my mother was there I had got there around 5:00 my mother waited a little while and then said she was going to take my son back home to leave with my brother while she was gone I had her and was back in the room she couldn’t believe when she came back because they had told her that she had plenty of time it was so funny but going through labor I don’t even remember if anybody was there all I was worried about was having the baby
Back when I had my babies, nobody was allowed in the delivery room except for the doctors and nurses.
Why even call them a “partner?” They are not.
Only ever had mine on my own but were going back 50 yrs ago partners didnt really go in with you then .but didnt bother me but i think if was now i would be nice to have someone with you
Sometimes they will let them come as a support person but they have to leave shortly after birth
But then u decided to have another child with this same man
Hell my hubby was there for both my babies and I didn’t care either way . He was absolutely no help! . And that baby is coming with or without them! You got this!
If he’s not supportive why r u continuing to have children by this man…smdh…but u got this especially if it isn’t the first time,when u r done tell the boyfriend to grow up or kick rocks
Oh my if I was close id come comfort you. Poor baby
Tell tour partner he needs to step up!
Looking for support/advice, about how it is giving birth on her own NOT asking to be judged for staying with someone!
I kind of did, baby dad got there just before he was born, I really liked labouring alone, I do better with pain without anyone around.
I had most of my babies alone… I actually prefer it that way.
Don’t do it alone! Ask a nurse to stand in there with you!
I had my 3rd by myself. My husband had to watch my 2nd. Honestly it was easier for me to focus on breathing and pushing without all the noise having someone with me would cause.
hire a doula–their job is to be there to support you–no distractions as the nurses may have, and they are trained to support you. also to those shaming her–her husband may be an amazing husband and father but not good in this area. Remember throughout the entire history of the human race women supported women giving birth–until a bit over 100 yrs ago when male doctors forced their way in, and not until the 70s did fathers start being with their wives!
I did an it was wonderful peaceful…the doc an nurses are the best support you can get…no judgement zone…i forgot all about him until he walked in the room an hour later:joy: then he brought his in an out to go smoke an sit an watch tv… …you will do great:100:
Get a midwife. Seriously!!! They are amazing. My midwife was my life saver in the delivery room
Who in your life is a calm and friendly presence? Ask them to go with you. Otherwise go for the epidural and watch fun TV while you’re in labor. The actual delivery is short and intense so you’ll just be focusing on that, and then your new bambino is in your arms!
Do you have a friend that could be with you? It sounds like you are in the UK since you called your mother “mum”. But if you for some reason are in Indiana or Illinois or somewhere close - PM me. I’ll come support you.
My ex wasn’t supportive at all. Our first child’s labor was 3 days. Our second ended in a c-section as we both almost died. He made both more stressful than had to be. I know he’s the reason they were so awful. Although I never had the privelege to be in labor for my babies alone (I tried with the second but he wouldn’t allow it. He even had my aunt get after me for asking him to not be there.) I know they would’ve been totally different & not as long or risky without his presence. (Once in OR without him I felt a sense of peace & our stats regulated I was even told I couldve delivered safely after that.) I advise you to just do it alone if you’re able. Obviously your mom is too selfish since she scheduled a trip so close to your EDD & your bf just doesn’t care about your or your child’s wellbeing.
I may be in the same boat as you If my mom doesn’t get here in time… a little worried I may be alone also, but for my son he was more stress in the room then necessary and kept asking how much longer it would take throughout the entire process- I also ended up delivering our third daughter with a best friend in the room. I prefer it
Do you have a special girl friend or family member??
Been in labor twice by myself, n prefer it that way, both born natural, n both breech births, 1st baby birth 4/1/2 hours, 2nd birth 5 hours
I had my 3rd and 4th myself because my husband was watching our other kids at the time. I had csections and it wasn’t too bad. We were all together shortly after
You need to have someone there in case of am emergency.
I technically did with my 4th. I didn’t want his dad there. he was pretty much just sitting there and doing squat, we were knee deep into a separation and divorce at the time. he stayed just long enough to hold him for a few minutes and left. I didn’t see him at all the next 48 hours I was there. He didn’t even know his name until we were discharged. the nurse felt so bad she kept asking if I wanted her to take my kid so I could sleep (I was running a low grade fever) but I declined. I stayed up most of the night telling my last kiddo that he was definitely wanted and he’s my sunshine. almost 17 yrs have gone by and his dad has been in and out of his life since, he’s not living a good 1600 miles away. he’s not invited to his son’s high school graduation next year.
Truly, the nursing staff was amazing for mine. My doc was gone for a holiday when my first came early but it was as if I’d known everyone my whole pregnancy.
Meeeee!! I’m not bright and did it twice… The nurses are amazing and I’m sure your doctor is great. Midwives are amazing although I’ve never had one
I had all 5 of mine alone for 2 of them he was out of town the other 3 he stayed in the waiting room. I did just fine the nurses were great. get a midwife if you want to I had one with my first baby and she was awesome she got up on the bed with me to help me haha
Get a new husband and get a doula
In my day nobody was allowed in so you had to do it on your own
I wish I went into labor alone!
I also recommend hiring a doula, even if it’s just virtual support!
Just keep your head up mama, you got this.
I did it by myself because at that time, you didn’t pre-fill your paperwork. Hubby was filling out paperwork while I was giving birth. Why not contact a birth Doula.
I agree get a new husband. What kind of man can let his wife go through that alone? How can you even have sex with him after he abandoned you during the most important time of your life. He should be supporting you! He should want to see his child born. Leave him
I prefer it alone. Don’t have to worry about extra people looking at my lady bits.
I have 3 under 4… my second dad got there right when I popped her out and my 3rd dad worked all night and slept in the chair next to my bed. The nurses woke him as she was coming out.
Easy fix, do you have a close friend or relative who would be there with you, if so tell hospital the person is your coach, can be with you the whole time
You are very strong, you got this. I had both on my own and did just fine.
Oh lord I wanted to be left alone for labor so I could focus and I don’t like being touched while in pain. For me personally it’s much more peaceful. Quiet, relaxed, focused. All about me and baby and doing what I needed too. My husband was there but only him and he knew to just sit back and stay quiet unless I really needed him. That was the support I needed. I guess it was nice knowing he was there if I needed him but he respected my space as well. You can do it. Just stay focused and let your body do its work.
I preferred being alone. I stayed home as long as I could.
I was induced and gave birth on my own in sept and it was probably the nicest calmest birth of any of my babies, once the midwives realised i was going to be on my own they sent one called wendy and she stayed with me all the way through and delivered my daughter, as sad as i am that my partner wasnt there it definitely was a really nice experience x
Well, I had a similar experience with my son’s dad; he was basically NOT there the entire time I was in the hospital. Either “stepped out” for hours or was sleeping or just who knows where. I relied heavily on my OB & nurses and it was the best experience!! They’re completely invested in your experience and are there for you every step of the way… esp if you’re by yourself. You can do it!!!
Ask him if he is willing to be completely there for you. Labors can go wrong sometimes because as a mom you are at risk too. My SO has always been there but one time he didn’t make it but my nurse was the best I could of had. Find a person who loves you to be there for you. Not sure where u live but if ur in California I would be there to support you. You can do it though! Get a support team!
I had my second alone the nurse I had was wonderful and sat on the bed with me and rubbed my back did my hair let me cry and I was lucky as I was the only one birthing at that time so she was able and willing to stay with me I didn’t realize at the time how special that was because I was busy but I look back and wish I remembered who she was but she held my hand as I went into the theater when things took a turn for the worse and although you will be alone u will have a team with you dont worry too much
New husband
And personally I never would of missed my girls birthing their babies nothing is more important . Can your mum not change her plans
I had my 1st and 3rd on my own it was fine 1st time Was great third time Was a little scary as it was only last August xxx
Due to covid in june last year . I was induced and delivered by myself!
I loved it. Felt lonely during some parts so id just facetime my husband.
I also got tf out asap
its ok ur to busy to worry when ur getting near the end
See if you can get a doula.
Nope why is your husband even there if he’s not even supporting you I would be so damn mad if my husband pulled anything close to that girl you need to sit down and talk to your husband funny thing is I hate being touched when I’m in pain but my husband is sitting right by me the entire time and is quick to grab me something or help me get in a better position and when its time to push he helps hold my legs and he is happy to cut the umbilical cord sorry girl you feel like that do you have any friends that could help
I delivered all 3 on my own. I was so nervous. I was married, but hubby did NOT want to see anything. Disappointing, but accepted it.
I had one of my best friends and both her and my husband got me through it.
I think that maybe once you’re ready for the pushing part you won’t care who’s is the room, just care about pushing the one that coming out of your room . However, that messed up that your husband goes MIA while your in the process of giving birth.
Ask about getting a doula or maybe asking another close friend or family member and if those things fall thru ask yr doctor or midwife if they have any ideas I’m sure there are resources cuz even tho I have a partner other women give birth alone all the time
Enjoy it! I had my last baby on my own,and i wish id done it with all my babys lol
Um just pop the kid out and move on with your life