I was married to a man for 68 years. I had 6 kids and this was in the 50’s. He never offered to do one thing. He retired in 96 and sit on his behind till the day he died. There was times I just wanted to take off and never come back. He pass Feb. of 2021 and its lonesome with out him.
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I was spoiled growing up by my dad . . He always worked at least 50 hours a week sometimes more at a GM factory, really late, sometimes 4am before he came home. Mom worked 30 hours… Dad never slept more than 5 hours & we had 2 set days per week, Mon and Thurs for housework… vacuuming, dusting, laundry… he also did the yard work and had a great vegetable garden!!! I’ve never had a man compared to that. . .
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(Maybe he seriously doesn’t know your expectation, because your doing what you’ve always done??). If you’re expected to run the house, take the manager role and start delegating. (“Hey can you do bla” or I need you to bla) If he asks why you’re always telling him what to do, ask him if he’d do it otherwise. (Meanwhile I’m drinking coffee and scrolling on my phone while there’s load of towels that someone else washed and dried that I need to fold.)
Mom of 5 over here.
I never made three meals a day. When the kids were smaller I stressed a clean house then my mother in law looked me at and said
The mess will be there for years to come. The kids will not!
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I feel you. I have 5 kids between 14-0 and I work 8-430 and get home at 5 when I have to cook dinner and tend to the kids and attempt to pick up. I don’t get to relax until 9 when it’s bedtime. Otherwise I order oht and lay around and watch tv after work 
My so helps some when he’s home. Not much.
Tell him to do his husband duties and make enough money so you don’t have to work 
It’s unrealistic for women to do everything in the home/kids and work full time, it’s not fair and there is not enough hours in the day. If your working full time, he needs to pull his weight at home and everything should be team work 50/50. The only reason I get everything done at home is because I’m lucky enough to be able to be a sahm, if I had to work on top of that, there is no way. Start getting your husband and kids to help out, they live there to!
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Those are living in a home duties, those are called being a parent duties. Those should fall on both parents especially if both parents work full time. I would talk to him and tell him he needs to step up and help you out. PERIOD. Your children can help too depending on age and development they can do little chores to bigger chores. They live there too. Done accept it bc if you do and do nothing about it, it will continue being all on you.
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If both parties work an equal amount of time outside the home they need equal chores inside the home. When my kids were little my husband and I took turns cooking, cleaning and doing laundry while both working 40hr work weeks.
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I feel this so hard. I am expected to do everything on top of having a full time job. I work close to 10 hour days and all meals, errands, and the majority of chores are on my shoulders. It’s slowly killing me.
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It’s 2022… those are called “partner duties” now… men and their audacity
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Hire a housekeeper for 2 days a week. & Tell hubs since he don’t want to share responsibility, HE can pay the housekeeper 
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Mom duties? Girl you/he got it all wrong. It’s called teamwork. And there is no if’s or butt’s about it. Don’t let him shame you into feeling that way. You tell him to get off his ass and pitch in or else things will not get done.
Hire a housekeeper if it’s in the budget and y’all can afford it! Right now I can’t hire a housekeeper just yet but in the future I’m for sure hiring one. I’m a teacher and my husband works too. We both have very stressful jobs and are sooooo tired after work. I try to do the dishes when I do cook right after cause if not I won’t be doing them till the weekend (I know gross don’t judge me) but right now the weekend is when we both sit and clean our place. I feel you and your husband on that. If y’all can afford it definitely hire a housekeeper.
Moms don’t “always make lunches and dinners and clean up after everyone” i hope he’s not making you believe that to be true? Mom duties are dad duties too. He’s an adult isn’t he? So why can’t he help?
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We all have this problem
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Absolutely everyone should help out!
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No we dont! 
there’s days where my hunny will come home and make supper because I have my days too. We’re a team, where one may slack, the other is there to pick it up 
my hunny makes his own lunches as well and we will both do a quick clean once the kiddies are all asleep. Our older children have chores after school and wknds, the toddlers will help pick up their toys, sometimes lol but we all chip in. Home duties should fall on both partners, not just one.
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CHORE CHARTS! And be extremely vocal that you are NOT A MAID! I am vocal with my family. My boyfriend and I both work full time and I have two kids that we are raising together. ITS FREAKING HARD. On top of that, both him and I work constant overtime each week. We both love very busy lives. My son has karate and my daughter has horse riding lessons each week.
Lots of easy fend for yourself nights. We do lots of frozen meals and easy meals to kids can pop in the microwave real quick or cereals. You’re not a bad mom for being busy! Make your family help you with busy!
I remind my boyfriend that if I get too overwhelmed and feel like I am solely taking care of the house, it leaves me no time to think about him for bedroom time ya know.
Just a thought! Good luck to you though!
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My husband doesn’t do any of the cooking… unless we are grilling. But he does help with laundry… dishes… he mostly takes out the trash. There’s really not a rule book on responsibilities… if you’re not happy about him slacking on house work where he also lives… then you need to speak up. Bro, get up and do some dishes while I go switch laundry. I make it known, I WOULD LIKE TO SIT DOWN AND RELAX TOO… that usually gets everyone moving also if your kids are old enough… make sure they are pitching in! My 8 and 11 yr old do laundry… which is a BIG help. It should never be just your responsibility especially if you’re working a full time job on top of all the house work.
This happened to me and now im divorced
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My husband is a stay at home dad, I work 7 nights on 7 nights off. On my work weeks he does everything from making food, baths, cleaning etc. I only take the girls to school (I get off at 630am and they start at 730) and work. On my weeks off we split everything, he needs a break too. I do most of the cooking (he says if I make it, it just tastes better ) and he does the cleaning.
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No its not fair but you need to open up and sit him down to talk, if you’re lucky and I hope you are my dear, it’ll turn for the better. If not then you’re doing it all anyways might as well do it yourself by yourself, and yes i know I know thats a lot to say and pretty extreme. I only say it from the perspective of what happens when the conversation doesn’t go ‘right’. First it was us and then our first baby. And while we both had full time jobs I was still the one that did most of the homework and cooked and took care of our son, now this has always been the bain of my releationship, because not only did he expect a home cooked meal after work, he came home and played video games. AND expected.us to split every bill 50/50 forget the fact that he made 1.5% as much as I did an hour, so I told him do 50% of the housework and ill.continue to pay 50% of the bills if not then hes paying 75% of them and ill.just pay the 25% and make up the difference by cleaning cooking etc So we , he did not like that so we went back and forth several times and we tried chore charts and lists and everything and he never stuck to them so I stuck to my word. Well it ended up being we were sperated for about 5 months until he came to me said he would do better and I believed him, so back to sharing everything equally, then he stopped and we were in the same boat, was up for a promotion at work so I stepped back to part time so he could put in the hours he needed so I was only paying some bills cuz i worked part time and cooked and cleaned, then somehow we ran into money problems, got back to full time and same scenario paying half the bills each and me still doing 100% of the housework and cooking and 95% of the time taking care of the our son, moved to a new place and tried chores again. Not so good. Then pandemic and I was working from home and still both full time but he believed because I worked from home I should still be doing the house work even though I was still stuck at a desk for 8 hours a day or more. Not able to leave said desk. Made no difference i was home he was not and he told me “there’s nothing wrong with getting out of work and expecting a home cooked meal on the table especially if you got out before me” though if he got out of work before me, he couldn’t make a home cooked meal while I worked? Yea… then I got pregnant with our second child and even being pregnant and everything that comes with that, I was expected to work, pay half the bills and still take care of everything else, while he worked, came home played video games, went to the bar. Went out with his dad and work buddies. Now it got to the point I had threatened to leave him again and then he started actually cleaning sometimes, cooking sometimes but most of the time that did land on me still, our son was born and he was and still is gravely sick. Hospital over 5 months of the 6 months he has been on this earth, I stay with him in the hospital because I cannot work due to his health issues, so dad has oldest im in hospital with youngest. And it continued. The couple times I was able to come him while youngest was at the hospital the house was an absolute disaster clothes and toys everywhere 2 week old garbage bags and moldy food in sink, yes that bad. So while I was supposed to be home visiting I ended up cleaning making the house livable for our oldest child and liveable when our youngest was able to come home. Now this is not to downplay what their dad went through, us hours away him traveling to come see us trying to figure out who would watch our son while he worked. And then only then in 5 years did he realize how much bills I was actually paying how much work I really put into the house and the care of our oldest. You think that would change? Nope still coming to the house and cleaning up the mess thats created. Going back and forth between our sons, and also being told by him “you don’t need a break, its not like you do anything” because i spend a majority of the time with our youngest in hospital after hospital and still worrying about what ima come home to on the few days I can come home. One day he told me he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me anymore, this was a few months back our youngest still sick in the hospital and then I began to realize, if im doing it all by myself anyways why am I doing it in a home with whom I have to listen to, when I’m not listened to, with whom I have to ask anytime I want to do something in the home to someone who expects me to keep giving and giving and giving while he gives nothing back. Now its him who pays all the bills as I cannot work. It is him doing this all alone and regretting eveytime he took me for granted, but I learned my lesson this time. With help I am moving into a new home for me and my babies and he has no control over that anymore, I still come home on weekends when I can, im still cleaning the ever messy house to make sure its liveable for my babies until the time can come where I am doing it myself with no one to answer to. Now mind you my case is pretty rare and extreme but even before our second it was like this. I am in one the hardest positions of my life, so please please please please take this from someone who is on the other end, someone who tried talking to their SO and staying even though they never changed, listen the first time, if he says he’ll do better and doesn’t, do it on your own, you’re doing it on your own anyways.
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Wait we’re supposed to make all 3 breakfast, lunch, and dinner:woman_facepalming: I’m a little late to the memo, they can eat at school. Dinner of course I make. But the other 2 
naw simply because I leave the house by 6:30am and don’t return until 6/6:30pm. As for taking care of the house. My husband and I are a team. We cook dinner together. We wash the dishes and load the dishwasher. Or while he’s helping with dinner we alternate. He does the sweeping and vacuuming. And I do the laundry. After dinner he cleans up the dishes and pots and I clean up the kitchen. It’s a team commitment. I hate the stereotypes of its only the woman’s job. It’s a team job because if that man was single he would have to do it. So a woman being added shouldn’t change that.
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He needs to do his dad duties aswell lived your life for to many years… it not only the woman’s jon to upkeep maintain the chores breakfast lunches ect … if you both work both and Kidd pull there weight in keeping an.organized home
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Put your foot down and stand up for yourself. If you both work full time then the house and kids responsibilities should be divided equally. Make a chore chart and give chores to the husband and all children old enough. Go get them and make them clean up after themselves. Insist on everyone doing as much or more than you. They don’t help because you don’t make them.
Tell dad to shove his term “mom duties” where the sun doesn’t shine and get off his lazy bum and start helping with adult duties.
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Try being a single mom… Tell that man of yours to help. It’s not all on u if u aren’t single.
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On a side note… can people start posting using proper grammar and punctuation?! These posts are so difficult to read.
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It shouldn’t be that way. Marriage is meant to be a partnership. Especially if you both work. Hold the kids accountable also. In my household, we all live there so we all do our part. Both my spouse and I work. We make our own lunches….we work opposite shifts so sometimes when I’m in a hurry he will throw some dinner together n have my coffee…and sometimes I help him get out the door quicker. Idk why some men expect so much when both parties are taking on the role of a provider/breadwinner. Men can cook, clean, care for children….some just aren’t held to that standard so they feel it’s not their duty.
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Who would clean up and feed him if you weren’t there? Would he starve n be disgusting….then he can help!
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Make things easier on yourself mama. Make easy breakfast for the kiddos our favorites are the protein waffles /pancakes w fruit lunch can. Take one thing at a time when it comes to clean up idk how old the kiddos are but we incorporate household chose with the kids the rinse dishes my oldest does silverware/ toys my youngest has a little broom with a stand up dust pan.
And ask dad for help with things some times men need direction and for dinners make it easy on yourself too soup crockpot meals and every night before bed even if you are tired do 1 load of dishes. I work 12 hr shifts with split days off. I know it’s hard but when you establish a routine it becomes so much easier. You got this mama!!
Parental duties. Not mom duties.
Same holds true when dads watch their own kids. They aren’t babysitting they are parenting.
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I’m not a believer of “Mom” or “Wife” duties. In fact I can’t stand those sexist remarks. Newsflash, in the days where men thought they were entitled and to be served, most woman were not allowed to work. I have purposely not done these things at times because I worked 2 jobs and still was the main parent or only responsible one. Why don’t people start acting human and just do what’s needed. If it’s expected from me than sorry not gonna happen
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It’s not fair… Everyone helps
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Kids can help, he can help. If you are drained it can wait. Sometimes I say, defend for yourself night. Which means this mama is tired and I’m not cooking. Teamwork works a lot better and is better for us mom’s especially when we are both working. Kids help out too. Don’t know how old yours is but mine is 14, 11, 10 and 6. We all do things which lightens my load. We all mess so therefore we all clean.
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Oh my my house is always in a disarray. I’m not home much to clean due to working alot. Days off are the only time I have to clean. My hubby works just as much. Our teen girls have chores. They both know I’m not home much and do try. It’s frustrating having to provide for my family but it works out. I just do what I can when I can. Thankfully my hubby is amazing and doesn’t complain because we work at same job and he knows how much we both work. Good luck to you all and keep being you and doing the best you guys can. Hang in there!!
I’m so distracted by this run on sentence with zero punctuation, I can’t even think!
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Yeaaaah, this thinking is antiquated. My husband and I split duties and when he’s dropping the ball, I communicate that with him. We give leeway for illness.
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Are you pregnant? Because you missed SO many periods. 
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Not every mom does all that. Delegate, delegate, delegate. Sit down and divide housework or hire a housekeeper. It sounds like he’s far more traditional than you are and has no clue how much time and energy things take.
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Mom duties are dad duties too it’s called parenting and he needs to help you with it just as much as the maintenance of the house
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My mom worked a full-time job and Ihad three kids and a husband. She taught us to make up our beds every day and put our clothes up when we took them off. She made dinner and we wash dishes. She helped us with homework. My father helped us to when he was around he made breakfast and dinner. He did what he could. Now everybody has learned how to take care of themselves at home 
. I also washed clothes. Everyone got their clothes and put them up. It all work great
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These are life duties period not mom, not just parents life. And you know what sometimes your just not going to have the time energy or care to get it all done, and that’s okay. If your in a relationship that’s were the other person is supposed to start picking up the slack. Relationships are not 50/50, some times it’s 10/90 other times it’s its 80/20. But the partner should most definitely be helping out and doing just as much period.
I’m a single parent, work shift work and 3 jobs to boot… Trust me sometimes my home is spotless and 3 meals a day, other times it’s a cyclone went through and take out for dinner. It’s your life, your home, it’s not up to society to tell you what it’s got to be every day, and it sure isn’t your responsibility to clean up after a grown man period. He’s an adult and supposed to be a partner tell him to put on his big boy pants and do his share.
Your doing just fine and don’t ever think every other mom has it all figured out. We don’t we wing it just the same 
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Yall need to decide who will do what, rotate chores, etc. Yall can fix this, it just sounds like you both are kinda overworked
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I would tell him he needs to start being an adult and help his partner that it is not solely your responsibility to clean the house. He can make his own lunch and he can help with evening meals. That he lives there too and he needs to help take care of the house. You’re his partner, not his mother. If he wants someone to pick up after him and cater to him he needs to go live with his mother.
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It should be 50/50. My husband I always took turns cooking. Whoever cooked didn’t have to clean, the opposite person cleaned afterward. We went on date night once a week. We divided the chores. Our kids helped us. Once they were 10 they got more chores but it was a family responsibility
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Make up a schedule for chores and designate them on a rotating basis. That includes dad. Stick to your guns. If they don’t help they have things taken like no phone, no TV, ect. If dad doesn’t help let all of his clothes get dirty and refuse to do his wash. Cook for yourself and no one else. They will get the message pretty quick.
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Single Mom has no choice but to do it all. Men are lovers of money. And mostly don’t care about anyone else but themselves.
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Nope !!! It’s a Family Home… everybody helps !!! Kids can clean: do dishes, etc. Mom and/or dad or even eldest child can help cook. Everybody… and I mean EVERYBODY cleans up after their self
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How old are your kids? Might be time to look in to a chore chart for them. It’s helped my household a lot.
Make a duty chart of EVERYTHING and initial by what you both do. Point out to him that he’s done one thing while you’ve done 15.
Mom duties…yes for small children…not grown men…some, but not all men believe or feel that their wife…is their Mom…Mom made dinner, kept the house clean… laundry…the list is never ending…while the kids (husband) ran out side to play, after school…You are only one person…and it feels as if everyone wants you to do this…that…home work…there’s not enough of you to go around…you only have two hands and there busy… trying to keep up with everyone’s demands…plus working out side of the home…you need a holiday…You need to tell your husband…I am not your Mother…I am one person trying to carry the load of many here and I’m wore out from it all…Both ( Parents ) have to help…so man up …child and pull your own weight… because the burden is heavy…on me…
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I’m curious … all of you that say the man should kick in and do the housework you don’t feel like doing …. How many of you cut grass and help with his “duties”…?? My husband passed away and I do it all now … inside and outside …
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If the kids can walk they can have chores. There is no reason why all cleaning should be only up to you. Everyone even your husband should pitch in. If you cook dinner your husband should do dishes. Everyone should pick up after themselves. Give your husband the choice eother he helps around the house or you become a stay at home mother so you can keep everything cleaned and do all cooking, that would mean loss of your income.
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Maybe approach it in a manly fashion. They’re family duties, not mom duties, and he needs to man up and take care of his family where he sees the need (even when it is housekeeping, cooking, etc.) The division of labor can and should be flexible, but when one family member is doing the work of most of the family, that is not fair nor reasonable.
You are the only one that can change this. Make a chore list. Take things away if the kids don’t help,and as for your man… If u talk to him and he doesn’t help … what difference is there between what all you are doing as a single mom verses being with him? Stop doing so much,so they can see how much you are doing and step up.
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Do you want your children to think, when they grow up, it’s on the woman to do everything? If not then show them better. Everyone lives there and everyone should pitch in. I have 2 daughters and I don’t want them to grow up to be a slave to the ones around them.
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My gramma used to say “you’ll end up with whatever you’ll put up with”, and boy are you the poster child for that old saying, drop the hammer on that crap right now
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Life will never be fair! Woman always will give more to the marriage than the man. These are century old facts! Chores can be shared. One washes dishes one day, the next is the other one’s turn. Same with the other duties. But on the same level… both should hold jobs and both should work as a team. Life is about compromise. And you trade tollerances for desires! Leave the emotions out of it. Whining and fit throwing is not maturity. Everyone has to do stuff they don’t want to. Get ovet it! That is why its called ‘adulting’.
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Men need to stop thinking we live in the past. Things are much much different now and a house hold should be 50/50 share of chores cooking and anything else. Women are tired of being slaves and working their asses of at jobs while the men just work and get to come home and relax while we get off work and go home to our second jobs. It’s not right to put everything on the mother/wife.
Girl no. It’s not mom duties it’s house duties everyone that lives there should help keep it clean. When he makes comments tell him to get off his butt and help. We are not superhero’s and we can’t do it all
I would set balance, I like one comment on a chore board in this post. Show his chores, kids chores, and yours. It’d also be worth noting the hours you both work on the board, that way it’s clear what all is being done. The argument “it’s the woman’s role” is so tired. My husband and I balance things out, if one cooks the other cleans, we don’t have anyone specific assigned because one is a mom vs a dad. That also includes outside chores, it’s a collaborative effort for us, my husband doesn’t sit on the couch and watch TV we do the chores together and we couch potato together too.
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Ughh
I don’t understand where the stigma come from
It’s a different time where all women did was stay home and take care of the home and children
I’m home alot and no matter how much I clean or pick up
It’s still going to look like a mess
Iv learned only time the house is actually cleaned to perfect is when it’s holidays and got people coming over
Dont Stress to much and maybe your man does need to get up and help
The fact you both have jobs
Well you both should share the chores in the house
Young one - don’t enable them. Stop picking up after everyone. Make a chore chart with names of chore and baggie with $$ for person who does job - right- if it’s half-a$& they get half the money. This way you teach them they have to work for $$ . As far as your husband - communicate- it took two to make babies - it takes two to mind the house and a village to raise a child. If they don’t learn now- you’ve got a whole lot of work down the road. Remind your husband - how you two work together - models what your kids future relationship will be based on.
Ummmm yeah efff that! It takes 100%, not even 50-50, for relationships to work these days. Back in the day, women pretty much always stayed home, these days we work. You want me to stay home and cook and clean all day, you better make up the 40-50 thousand dollar a year difference. I would tell him, dads have duties too and not just yard work 
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Hubby has made you the house manager where he “helps” and probably expects praise when he does. Meanwhile, the house only works because you never stop. It isn’t fair and you have the short end of the stick. He has put you in the role of doing those things and probably just got married to have someone take care of him. Congrats, that’s you. This is why women file for divorce. And that’s where this is headed if he doesn’t realize he lives there too and that you are waking up to his bullshit.
Mom duties…hahaha…what if he was a single parent? Time for the hubbie to grow up. Being a father is part of pitching in. Clean up, wash a load of clothes…something besides wait for the maid to do everything.
Maybe he should do his grown up duties. Would his mommy have to clean and cook for him if he were single and living alone?
Prioritize your life. Play with the kids, talk to them; create a safe space for yourself to relax; don’t do more than your partner. It’s not a competition. It must be even Steven so talk to him and get his agreement to split the chores. The kids need to have chores too, but more importantly, the parenting has to be split 50/50. If he doesn’t make your breakfast and pack your lunches half the time, then don’t do it for him. It is up to you to set those boundaries and to not compromise. If he is a good person, he will agree to share everything. If he doesn’t agree then let the house be messy. Let him fend for himself. Go on strike until your boundaries are respected. Don’t nag. Don’t argue. Clearly ask for what you need so you aren’t overwhelmed and get his agreement. Men need clear direction from their spouse or they treat us like mothers instead of partners. Be strong. You can do it. 6 months from now, your life will be better and your relationship will be healthier.
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Sit down whole family and decide who does what every day. On weekend do it again. You don’t need to be superwoman. Don’t care if anyone needs to be pulled out of bed to do their chore. Put it in writing. Review on the weekend. No screen time for everyone till something is done
And or one room a day
Preplan meals. Crock pit when possible. Any of age can out ingredients in bowl the night before. Soup and sandwiches. Keep it simple. You both work you both attack and kids help too
Oops. Preplan on the weekends and post with or without checklist. Not everything in one day
They’re not “mom” duties. They’re “parent” duties. You have a deadbeat spouse and father. Demand better for yourself and your kids. You’ve been allowing it, you’re currently allowing it and unless you’re going to stop allowing it, shit up and accept that you’re accepting this for yourself and your kids.
Any grown ass man WILL DO HIS SHARE…OR HE WOULD NOT BE LIVING IN THE HOUSE.PERIOD
I agree he should be helping
Nope. He lives there too. He eats as well. He needs the clothes as well. He helped make the kids and chose to be a parent.
He is not a child that needs to be taken care of. He is a grown a$$ adult who can help take care of the house as well. Tell him he needs to help as well because you are not his slave.
Quit making him food. Quit doing his laundry. Let him start doing his own shizz if he isn’t willing to help so his part in caring for kids and the house
Hire a cleaning lady and treat her nice she should clean all the bathrooms vacuum dust no windows how ever you can leave a note if there is somthing you want her todo
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It’s not fair with her working a full time job. Just picking up their own mess would go a long way. Pick up your stuff and wash your stuff and they will get the picture.
Just a suggestion but split the work, divide and conquer and it doesn’t have to be everyday y’all could set certain days to do certain things and if he doesn’t agree to that then it’s time to hire a maid and maybe then when he has to pay someone else to do it he’ll start helping out lol
Screw that this isn’t the sixties …tell ur man to man up n help u out…
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How old is your child they can learn to make their own lunches. Give your kids jobs to do before and after school. I had a person who came in twice a week Thursday and Friday morning 3 hours to clean the bathrooms and kitchen dining area she was really awesome because my kids were in primary school 7 and 5 years old. My boys attempted to tidy their toys and put them away. They grew older and washed their clothes and put them on the washing line outside.
Speak up and put him in his place. Depending on how old your children are, have them help too. Seriously, just because you’re a Mom/wife doesn’t mean everything defaults to your responsibility.
Every person that lives in the home can help keep it tidy . hang up your coat ,pick up your books, make you bed.—it won’t kill dad o help either. Don’t everyone come home and sit and watch tv while mom does everything.----it is Not fair.
I’m going thru the same thing and my other half is laid off and still does nothing to help! It gets so overwhelming!!
Teach them to wash their own clothes and put them away. Pick up after yourself and everyone should know how to cook. If the kids are little they can at least help
Make some signs and go on strike…they will learn. Put a list of demands (help) …pick up after yourself and if you see something that needs to be done do it !
Hire a maid. Not a sexy one. That might open a whole other can of worms. If he says it’s Mom duties not maid duties just say she’s a Mom too. Was wondering what dad duties are? Does he help with the kids? If the car breaks does he take it to a mechanic? Your house is broken so you bring in the maid mechanic. Times are a changing and life like Father knows best doesn’t exist any more. If that’s how his family functioned that doesn’t mean his family will. Share responsibilities. It’s called being fair.
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If you both work everything should be split down the middle.
No questions asked
I dont make my husband do stuff during the week cuz he works and im a sahm.
But on weekends hes expected to do his part.
stop making him lunches. write out a chore chart for the whole family.
It’s not fair why are you tolerating this?? Please don’t allow this to continue and or allow your children to grow up thinking this is the way it should be because it is absolutely not ok maybe 50 years ago when women stayed home and didn’t go out to work but not today!!! I slave after my kids until I have taught them to do it themselves and then they do it… I am most definitely not slaving after a grown man and treating him like a king whilst I’m seen as the help the maid
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Beta. Leaning lady once a week she will vacuum dust no windows. Lean all the bathrooms
A game changer for me is to do a little bit of something when I’m overwhelmed, instead of everything. I communicated the same concerns, and brought this “let’s just do a little” to him. Now if there’s a sink full of dishes, I’ll unload/reload the dishwasher and whatever doesn’t fit I leave in the sink. While I’m doing that he’ll clean up trash, have the kids pick up their toys (usually requires adult help bc they’re toddlers & my 9yo doesn’t make a huge mess lol) then I’ll just sweep instead of vacuuming too. So we’ve both done a little, but really a lot still got done.
Stand up for yourself it’s not the 50s have a family meeting tell them they all need to help and I would also hire a cleaner xx