Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How it is having 4 kids under 6?
After 3 its the same…the more the merrier!and when they are close in age they are so close with eachother I have 5!good luck mamma
I always heard from 1 to 2 is the hardest so 3 to 4 shouldn’t be much of a difference lol
I have a special needs daughter that is 13 and quadruple sons that are 7
I have 3 and it’s exhausting, dad not around which makes it exhausting
I think if u can handle having 3 u can handle having 4 haha. im due for my forth in a few weeks and I’m 28,my oldest is 8 but I don’t think adding 1 more will change much other then needing a bigger car.
go for it mumma
I had kids 2009,2011,2014,2015 and then tube tide at the age of 26. All c section now I’m 32 i have all help around from kids now. Best part I can reuse clothing… I had no help when I had c sections plus gastrointestinal diabtes. Husband worked 12 hour job.
4 kids? Girl I’m 23 have 3 kids my oldest turned 3 in June my youngest is 7 months today. I do often watch my niece (9/10 months) and it’s hectic. Literally hectic.
You would have a buddy system and no one would be the odd one when going places. They would have a hand to hold …
I had all 4 of mine by age 24. When my youngest was born they were all under 6. It was and still is exhausting. After the 4th kid you are pushed into full blown insanity sometimes but it’s way easier once they’re All self sufficient and wiping their own asses.
We have 3 teens. They eat A LOT. Remember those kids will all need permits etc at the same time. It gets expensive.
You’re just ignoring the fact that your husband doesn’t want another child?
I let my body heal. Mine are 9 almost 10 and my middle child is 6 and my youngest is 3 weeks
I always thought 2 to 3 was the hardest, so we stopped
Mine were 6,5,4,2,1&newborn lol they are now 14,13,12,10,9&8
Yes I had a 4 ,3, 1 year old and newborn. It was hard but if you have a good partner it makes it so much easier. Things also get easier as time goes on. Now they are 8,7,5,4 and yes they are all close with each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way
All mine were little and close in age. They’re all adults now 18,21,23,25. So when they was little let’s say, Newborn, 3,5,7… that’s pretty close. I remember the 3 older ones getting on my nerves so bad while I was attempting to breastfeed the baby, I threatened to make More babies if they didn’t behave . But in all honesty my 4th was the worst, thank god he grew out of it but it was really rough. (Different dad than the 3 older kids) He had ADHD with bipolar tendencies at age 4-5 and up, tried to grab knives to kill his sister, lots of counseling, lots of meds, Dr visits, lots of stress and crying (Me ) Honestly I’m so glad he grew up, and doesn’t remember how bad he was. He’s a big hearted teddy bear now that would help anyone out. I won’t lie, I regretted things a long time ago but wouldn’t change a thing now. Good luck, and god speed
I think you might want to get your husband on board first
2 kids are enough. 4 kids are more than enough. The problem is that you will end up using the older kids to raise the younger ones. Also, you and hubby should have discussed number of kids before marriage. Most importantly, can you afford 6 kids including paying for their college education and paying their down payment for their first cars and houses?
I have four kids under 7 and would not change it for the world. My older two boys are very helpful with their baby sisters. Most days are challenging but also very rewarding. Also I’m only turning 27 this month
Idiot, your husband don’t want one, you might want to find out what it’s like to be a single mom of 4 kids.
If your partner was on board I’d say go for it … But if he is not he will resent all that goes into having another child and will not tarnish the family dynamics
I was your age and had 4 in 6 years however my ex husband was a narcissist. It was hell. Thank God they all turned out to be great adults and very successful. No thanks to him. Their stepdad finished raising them for 30 years in our life. He is now deceased . Their bio Dad is deceased also, no loss there. If you have a good husband that’s different. The only problem with that many kids is the rising cost of everything. Best wishes
Mine are 19,18,15,13(will be 14 in December)It was a little crazy but,I got a good routine.
I’m 29 & got a 4 , 3 , and a set of infant twins right now it’s not that bad , the older two help out and it just kinda flows after awhile
Honestly, it doesn’t matter how easy or hard it is when your husband is saying no.
I think you should listen to your husband
I have 6 that are 6 and under. I love it because I really don’t have to buy clothes like that every year. I keep them clean and stored away for the next. I’m also expecting another little one and I am excited. I’ve always wanted a big family. I’m not going to say it gets easier but it’s definitely an experience to never forget.
It’s tiring I have a 8 year old, 7 year old, almost 4 year old and 3 weeks away from delivery and I always feel so tired or like I’m dying most of the time lmao. Wouldn’t change it for the world at all. But if your husband is against it right now, I’d either talk to him about it again or leave it be for a while.
I have 4 kids and I am only 24 years old in couple weeks and my oldest is 5 years old & my youngest just turned 4 months old on Saturday I think it’s easy but at times it’s hard but you make it work and it’s fun too I have all boys and they make every minute worth it
I have 5 kids ages 12 9 8 6 and 15 months and just turned 31. Two of mine are Irish twins my daughter was born in January 2012 my son was born Dec 2012.
Is it wrong for some one to say slow down???
I had my 6th child a month after my oldest turned 7. It wasn’t easy by any means but always worth it. Now they’re 16 to 23 and even though I miss them being little, I don’t miss the diapers and toddler years.
My great grandma had 14 kids total…the last one was stillborn. My grandma had 3 then my dad had 4. I am on my 5th one. My oldest is 7 and my youngest is almost 8 months next week. Im due in January. To be honest, it is super stressful being the only one being the breadwinner. It is better if both parents agreed to share responsibility. Kids are great and all until you run out of room to care for them. A healthy mindset is what sets you apart from everyone else. I wanted 12 kids but am on my 5th one. People today aren’t comfortable with many people having kids more than 3 or 4. Have as many as you want as long as you can support them.
I have almost 8 under 13.
You totally need to talk to your husband first!
I had 4… 1980,1982,1983, n 1985. It was a challenge. But I had the last 2 while on Birth Control. I’m in that 2% that gets pregnant. But I would have hesitated if my husband was not on board. We got him fixed when I was pregnant with our 4th. I would not have done it so close … but they are grown up now n great people. But it was tough for a while. Just don’t get pregnant without your husband agreeing. I wanted one more after my 4th but husband said he was done n went n got fixed. We just couldn’t afford any more. Good luck
I’ve had 4 kids under the age of 5! LOL! They were born in 1994, 1995 these 2 are 10 months apart! 1997, & 1998 and then had my 5th kid in 2006!it was easier when they were younger and when I was younger! That’s for sure! It was 20 when I had my 1st child
Not a good idea if the husband doesnt want another.
My ex sister in law had 4 by the age of 20. It’s so different for everyone, she said she wouldn’t have wanted it how I did it (big age gap) because she could do the same activities with her kids whereas I struggled with mine at times due to the big age gap so they didn’t want to do the same things.
Men often stress more about the financial burden when thinking of having more kids. Then you would love to have more children but the financial stress will put them under. I would talk to your husband and see where he stands and why he doesn’t want any more children at this time. And go from there.
If your husband is against it then maybe not have another one cause it could drive wedge between you guys
I have 4 under 7 and they keep eachother occupied most of the time and are all close
1,2,3,&5 …#4 didn’t make it to the end. I would of had 1-5 it’s hectic but I manage that’s my little clan …buuut I would of probably waited lol I’m just being honest I’d listen to the husband on this one. Good luck mama!
It’s not bad. I had a 4 and a 3 year old when I gave birth to my 3rd, a month before delivery I took custody of a 4 year old.
Honestly the first year was rough but that was because we were getting used to 2 new children. Either way I wouldn’t trade it for the world. They are so close now and amazing. The older ones help out and are great siblings.
5 under 10 and due anytime.
It is exhausting, mentally and emotionally draining, physically demanding. Everything that can cause one to go into a depression. BUT worth it. Because being a mother of chaos helps me keep pushing forward to better myself and they give me a purpose to live.
I have two and a niece and nephew and I couldn’t imagine having 4 all the time at once. I used to want 3 or 4 now I don’t.
I’m 25 with 5 biological kids age 6 3 2 1 and due in Nov. I love all my kids. I also have 3 bonus babies who’s 14 9 and 6. It can be crazy at times but I wouldn’t change anything
I think you should take into consideration the fact that your husband doesn’t want anymore children. It’s probably stressful on him too.
I would take my husbands desires into consideration. Also, as children get older, they get more costly. There’s a lot of financial responsibility that goes into that as well, and that may be a stress on your husband too.
We stopped at three, and honestly now that they’re older I’m thankful we did.
I have 3 they say the hardest is having 3 kids. I was to old to have another one, I was raised with 4 in my family. I loved it, seems like having an odd number one is always left out. This is my opinion. There are articles about why 3 kids are harder… google them it’s quite interesting.
I have 4 kids 6 and under eldest being 6 middle 3 and a half and youngest ones being 11mo twins. And on my own. It can be hard but it’s very doable with a good routine.
Depends on what your support network is like. And on if that brings you joy.
But his feelings should be taken into consideration
Make your baby if finances and all that jive. My age ranges are 18 (boy) 14(girl) (these 2 are the most alike and are best of friends, they get pissy with each other but it last two seconds) The last two are 7 (girl, poor little thing needs to grow cause bubba throws it in her face he’s the older brother cause he’s taller), 6(boy) (arrogant lil butt, but we love him) they fight non stop but is absolutely lost, like literally won’t do anything all day but ask when can we pick her up from school without older lil sister
Honestly it sucks most of the time, they’re all very bonded and close to eachother but it’s ROUGH having so many small children at one time. Mine are 7,4,3, and almost 1
Can you afford it
Can the planet afford it
mine are 2,4,6 and let me say it’s exhausting but I love them to death😮💨 I’ve been wanting another baby but then the feeling goes away so I’m still unsure and not making any irrational decision but I have made my decision if i want one it has to be before I hit 30yrs. I’m only 3 years away from 30 so I’m still thinking about it. It’s important that both you and your husband take that decision together good luck
You should absolutely talk to your husband! Especially if he is the sole provider, kids are expensive, as the get older the cost become more expensive, Look down the road. THINK about the life and experiences you want your children to have. When you have them back to back it’s all cool when thier little, the issues are when you have to pay for drivers ed EVERY year for 5 yrs,extra curricula activities, then you have prom, graduations, College . Please talk to your husband, In the economic state of our country, ppl still getting laid off, Now under threat with alot of companies that if you don’t take the vaccine you lose your job, I would bet my gremlin bell that the root reason for your hubby not wanting anymore is bc he wants to provide comfortably for You and the babies he already has .
In all honesty it may be easy for you since you have 3 already and enjoy them being close in age, but if your husband doesn’t want another then it still isn’t a good idea. If he says he doesn’t want another then having another will stress him out or even irritate him bc he clearly doesn’t feel ready for it. He also may feel like y’all can’t afford another child or maybe he feels like he truly doesn’t want anymore children. I wouldn’t make a choice simply on the basis that it could be easy or bc you want one.
I got 3 under 3… in my opinion after the 2nd kid adding others is way easier… plus I have all boys so it’s so easy for me. Stressful at some times but worth it. I can’t wait to see their bond grow as they get older.
I have 5, 4, 3 and 18 months. It is so hard but worth it also.
It’s a pain in the ass
Think about the future. You will be raising all those teenagers, and how will you afford all the school and sports fees, equipment, groceries, vehicles, and all the other costs that go along with rearing kids? Not to mention the huge expenses of college or other post secondary schooling for all those children?
What can/do you do to earn money to support the family? Sit down with your husband and go over the family finances/budget. Are you saving for retirement? What happens if you have a medical emergency? Even routine medical costs are steep but kids do stupid things and require medical care. Look into the average costs of medical care after age 40 and how much nursing or continuing care homes cost for you and your husband. Will you have enough savings to cover that?
If your kids all do sports or other activities like scouts or ballet or music, how will you be able to coordinate driving them all to practices and games, especially when the schedules conflict? How will you support them for their big games or recitals or exhibitions? Think about what moments you may have to give up by having more children.
What would you do if your husband divorced you or died? Could you raise them alone while working outside the home? Or what if your husband and/or you lost your jobs?
Babies are fun, but they are still yours when they grow up. Talk to your husband about why he does not want anymore children and see if you can resolve his objections. Maybe marriage counseling to help each of you see the other’s positions.
See if there are other options for your “baby fever”: work in the nursery at a day care or your religious institution, or get certified to run a day care center in your home, volunteer to hold babies born with addiction at your local hospital, or get a puppy or kitten. And when does it end? Will you want to have a new baby every year? Will your existing children feel neglected or not good enough if you keep having kids?
I’m not saying don’t have more children, but you and your husband should think through ALL the consequences and expenses you will incur over your lifetimes with your current and any future children.
If your husband doesn’t want another child you will foster resentment and a feeling of being trapped in him if you go ahead and get pregnant.
Your hormones are telling you to do this. But as a child of a five kid family which ended in divorce when I was six, I wouldn’t recommend doing something like having another child without his 100 percent support.
Unless you’re both enthusiastically on board with this decision, he will come to resent you for it, and possibly the child as well. Be careful.
Take his feelings into consideration honestly.
Please don’t do this if your husband isnt keen. To be fair you have alot on your plate and alot more expenses coming your way with a growing family… If he is the sole income earner than you need to be grateful for what you have atm… Review it in a few years, it isn’t all about what u want. My brothers wife wanted a large family… My brother wanted only two children… They ended up with 5 under the age of eight, some with special needs. Its caused a lot of grief and hurt in both families now they are going through a nasty divorce… Be careful what u wish for.
I have 4. They are 5,3,2 and 8 months and it is hectic but I wouldn’t have it any other way! It is great. I am a working mom and my husband stays home with the kids as that is what works for us and it’s great! I love seeing my kids but he wanted to stay home
I had 6 by 29 years old and my little girl passed away at 18 months when This Mommy was 28 years old between raising my children and a very sick baby girl I went through the loss of my beautiful daughter with the help of my other 4 children without my other 4 children by my side along with their father I don’t know what I would have done Hardest time of my life losing my baby girl and all I could think on was I need another baby very very much I remember saying I can’t handle this without another baby My husband agreed 100% with me The day I buried my little girl I come home to the phone ringing and when I answered Doctor said test results are back and this baby is also a little girl and she will be born without sickness A miracle We all cried for joy our baby girl was coming home even my children cried with joy as young as they were they wanted another sister and so did Mommy and Daddy want a baby so badly This made us parents of 6 at at 29 years old and I would not change a thing if I had life to go over We lost a piece of our hearts when we lost our precious daughter/sister and we sure leaned on each other for strength and support So with this said yes have as many babies as a family wants cause Mom and Dad need there children as much as their children need their Mom and Dad <3 God Bless My point of view Money means nothing when raising children You can not count up 20 years from when the baby is born to when the child will begin college or invest in a car just remember times changes and so does the pay checks
It’s extremely hard and still is mine are a bit older now 13,12,11,10 & 6
If it was on the other foot we’d be criticising the male for wanting to do something you font
I got 11,9,5,2 and 2 months and its hard but would not change it for nothing. My house is hectic alot but its life. Just talk with your husband about it. Good luck
I have 4 kids
2 years and a few monthsj
There are factors to consider. Will u be getting assistance with the kids?wil u be a sahm that sees to all the kids incl household duties, does cooking etc fall on u? All homes are run differently. Does anyone go to school at this point? How physically exhausting is your hubby’s job? Will sharing tasks when he gets home be an issue
My challenge is when one gets sick… Then we all get sick in a row. Due to breastfeeding u can’t take much meds so u basically hang in there dying but carry on with mum duties.
I have lots of guilt trip where I wish I had more time with all of them bcz the truth is we all get so caught up with doing basics such as cleaning cooking and just making sure they safe and alive.
There’s night where u can have two or even three of them waking up in a row. So u may be breastfeeding and rushing to make a bottle for the other smaller one… Abd due to crying some other Lil guy may be v cranky cz his sleep just broke. This is early stages with a newborn.
Kids don’t share. Skip looking at toys that are age apt u jut gta get st versatile so all of them Have the same thing… Boy or girl.
U will have multiple tantrums in your house tthru owt the day… You will use the f word quite normally in every mother context. You will aim to be the best mother in the world b4 the sun rises… Yeah cz u breastfeeding and u day started from like 4 15 but b4 sunrise you will scrap this thought and stick to as long as everyone is fed and alive
How involved are u with your kids. When I had my first two boys I loved making their days fun… Running at home with them,doing lotsa crafts, baking tgda etc etc when my girl came along this just couldn’t happen as she grew up cz even reading a book with her was impossible… Literally everything gets gripped tossed and torn. I was told v seriously by my eldest that he thinks we should leev her back at the hospital
Fast forward to having a 6 month old… My Eldest is super caring so he doesn’t like the baby crying… Thus he will always try and play with him and keep him happy for anything so he asked me the other day why we have so many babies cz apparently he has to take care of them all(in his head)
Wearing sneakers once you jump out of bed in the morning is v normal as it’s go go go
We have 4 x the love the hugs the kisses the special days special moments and they all super priceless. I can’t imagine my life any different if anyone not been there. I can’t handle my house been So quiet at times when my two boys stay over at their grans house. Challenging but worth the memories… If u v family orientated and love big families… It’s fir u
But also look into what works mentally for u, your husband and your family as a whole.
You have to have things in place to cope
I have a helper to assist me 3 x a week with cleaning and I meal prep on these days so I dont cook when she’s not there. I just take care of the kids.
I don’t go shopping… I not carting all these Lil ones who want to run in all the aisles and play hide and seek. I msg my husband a list for the weekly shopping. This works for us
You have to plan your time outs and mental breaks. Alone time to unwind is good. Time for your spouse is important. One on one time with each kid per day is important too. Having trusted family near so u can juggle important appointments is a bonus too.
Hi I have 4 kids my two older boys are 7 and 5 and my girls are 4 and 2 and it’s pretty amazing the bond that they have best of luck
I have 5 and just turned 23. (G)11 weeks, (B)18m, (B)4, (B)6 and (G)7 I have found the more you have the easier they are… does cost more and it’s a struggle when bub is learning to sleep through but other then that, not much changes
First and foremost, always make that decision together… never make a huge decision like that behind your partners back.
Second, your young and still have some time, I know you want them close in age but that’s juggling a lot. A few years is still close, my sister and I are 5years apart and have a great relationship, always have.
Plus do you work? Does your husband work ? Who watches them while you guys work? If your a stay at home mom then adding another is going to make you lose it. I think, especially bc your husband already said he didn’t want another one, wait another year or two and see how’ve you handled them so far. Then talk about it again to him.
You may just like the IDEA of having another baby…the cute stage and all…but like others have said…if husband isnt on board dont do it…have a discussion about it if its still no, ask him if yall can have the convo again in one year to see where he stands…
I have 4 kids under 6, im 23. Sometimes it’s easy, Sometimes its hard. Establish routine, budget an priorities its the best advice I can give.
I have 4 under 8 ( 8,5,2, newborn) life’s crazy but manageable. I love my crazy life with my big family!
I had four kids in 6 1/2 years and I loved it.would do it again in a minute
Go for it. It can’t be much harder then what it’s like for you now. I only ever wanted 2 but working with elderly and seeing how lonely they can be when their kids only visit so often makes me wish I should have had more. Also watching all my sister’s kids little they are too cute. Big families are great. I’d have more if opportunity came about honestly.
Ive got six let me tell you, under 11yrs of age its a dream! Yes can be chaotic but happy. Then come the teen years now thats a whole Nother ball game.
As they get older so does their attention demands.
Bear that in mind.
Personally was much easier with two or three after that it gets a bit harder. I currently have three young teens under one roof one girl two boys, boy oh boy aint running short of entertainment here!
I should add i wouldnt change a thing I love them all dearly.
It’s fine. My kids were born in 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2007. Some days I looked forward to bedtime too much. Or nap time… Or school days. But what I wouldn’t give to have anyone of those days back. Now that they’re older, they’re a big help to me and each other. And I did it all alone. Even when I was married to their dad, I did it alone. I made him leave our house right before I found out I was pregnant with our 4th. I couldn’t let him come back because he’d had too many chances with various issues and that wasn’t the life for us. I was always like, what’s one more? I have 2 boys and 2 girls and I absolutely love the life I have with them. There have been hard times, but the good outweighs them~:blue_heart:
I would make my decision based off my financial situation
Why the rush to have another one so soon ?you are still so young,but If it’s what you want we’ll go for it your choice😃
You are 22… have your 3 babies for now and wait until you are older like in your 30’s! You are juggling so much at such a young age already, take a breather and think how busy your life would be with another child. I had my first when I was 20 and he was hard work, now he is 7 I’m 28 and I would love more babies now that I am older and have more knowledge of what I am doing, also remember if you choose to have another it’s not just your decision it’s your husband’s choice to and if he doesn’t want another you may have to just deal with having 3 beautiful babies. Your doing a great job mama
My Gramma had 12. Forty-six when last one born.
A friend had 11; last one born when she was 42
If you love your life as a mom and you can make perfectly healthy babies, provide them with a safe home, you’re capable of creating a life, why not? Also if you can afford another baby, (I dont know which country you’re from.) Go for it!
I had my 4 in under 4 years. Going from 3 to 4 was a huge difference. I wouldn’t change it for the world but I do wish I had spaced them a little because now they are at school everything is going by so fast and straight after each other.
I have four boys and when last one was born I had a newborn 2.5 yr old,4 yet old and 5 yr old it was hectic but it’s nice with them being close together and still is now my eldest is now 9 and youngest is 3.7 yrs
Im 31 i have 6 children 12,11,10,8,4,3,2 its hard work but youll never be lonely xxa
My girls are 15, 5, 4 and 2 weeks old going from 3 to 4 has definitely been the most difficult adjustment…but I love my girls and wouldn’t change it
If your husband does t want another dont push it, he will resent you if you purposely get pregnant after you told you no.maybe talk to him about it again in a few years
22 yrs old, 3 kids, nervous about having another, husband doesn’t want more…That speaks volumes. For now, just be happy with your family, build with what you have, grow and mature, then when the time is right, revisit the idea of having more children.
Or…just enjoy and give your all to the 3 you have…then in a few years…have 3 more…you have plenty of time…
I feel like after 2 who cares. It’s just one more
Your husband doesn’t want another. And maybe one day he’ll change his mind, but he has a right to not want to bring baby #4 in the mix as much as you do want too. Before deciding if that is the magical number, I would have a serious conversation with your spouse and accept that he may be perfectly content with the children y’all have now.
I had two under two by time I was 19 and that was really hard for me personally but I am itching for a third with my partner of a year as he’s amazing with my boys and I really want him to experience that with his own baby but he’s said no for now so I won’t push him because pushing for something you want and the man doesn’t want will just push the man out of your life & you’ll be left with 4 kids all by yourself and can you really raise a child knowing your 4th baby wasn’t planned by both of you and just you? Yes your husband can change his mind once baby’s here but yous both need to be certain. I’d hate to be 30 crave another child and already have 3/4+ children. Don’t wish your children’s lives away by wanting a third just now. My mum and dad have 6.5 years between my brother (middle child) and me & we argued like cat&dog but we have a decent age gap not to clash. Xx
I have a 6yr old a 5 yr old and two 3yr Olds (twins) and I wouldn’t change it for the world I love how close they all are…especially during this pandemic it was great they had each other. It was easy because you are already used to no sleep lol