How long do you let your 6 year old cry when making her learn how to go to bed WITHOUT someone being with her ?
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As long as it takes. Age 6 is way too late to have started going to bed alone - should have happened long ago. Now you just need to let them realize that crying won’t change it - no matter how long.
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She should have been going to bed alone way before now. You let this go on far too long and get way out of hand. Don’t give in. Eventually she will give up and go to sleep. Be a parent!!!
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It’s a new process for your child so age doesn’t matter. Do it the same as if your doing it for a 2 or 3 year old. 15 minutes, go in and tell them theyr fine, I’m still here blah blah, leave and do it again if necessary. Don’t coddle or touch them though but soothe with voice only. It also helps you have a consistent bedtime routine and bedtime, dont just throw them in bed randomly and say “now go to bed” and expect theyr gonna be good with that.
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At 6, they can understand explanations better, but this is still a new step for her. As above, set a routine: supper, bath, read books then bedtime. Or whatever your routine is. Favorite stuffy, blanket etc. night light as was used before. She will get used to it. Go back in & talk to her but don’t lay down. Depends on your kid, 5 min 1st time, 10 min then stuck w the routine. If by have a monitor check that way. Hopefully she’s in her bed & not destroying her room!!
At 6 you should be able to have a conversation about it. if she’s acting up go talk to her explain it how it is. this is your. big girl bed and you’re a big girl this is where you sleep now and just make sure your firm. don’t bend or sway on it because she will see that as you cabing and this will continue to happen.
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While I agree that they should have started going to bed alone long before 6, I also have a daughter who slept with me until she was 6, and at almost 10 still crawls in bed with me at times. For everyone saying “as long as need be until she stops.” This is that child’s first time experiencing going to bed alone, which makes it a difficult emotion to express at that age. I would calmly sit her down and express to her that now that she’s older it’s time for her to sleep in her own big kid bed, that she is getting too big to sleep with you every night. Make sure you give her a soft blanket, (a weighted blanket maybe 3-5 pounds could help/work) a stuffed animal, and a nightlight bright enough to illuminate the room, but not bright enough to keep her awake. Reward her for sleeping in her own bed as well. (6 year olds like stickers! A sticker chart would be GREAT in this situation) and every time she sleeps in ger own bed and does not come to yours the next morning she get a sticker and at the end of the week (or every other day however you want to do it) she gets a reward. Maybe 5 dollars to go to the local dollar store with, or a sucker if you don’t give out sweets often or a park day. It’s a learning process for her and you 
Wait what? No just no. She’s 6! You talk then try actual techniques you don’t let her cry she can communicate for crying out loud and has ferlijgs and understanding.
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My 2 year old goes to bed on her own. It was a process. For months I laid with her until she fell asleep. Then we would do a few minutes at a time of her laying by herself, if she cried I’d go back in, talk to her comfort her then leave again. It took a few months but now we brush her teeth, sing a song, she lays down and goes to sleep.
6 years old is way too late to implement a bed time routine… this should have happened years ago.
At 6, she understands it’s time to go to bed. This is something you’re just going to have to work on because you’ve let it go on for so long.
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I started cio at 6 months
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6 year old not sleeping alone. It’s gonna be tough bc you started so late my youngest is 6 and she sleeps in her own bed but shares a room with her older sister but she’s getting her own room soon. Only thing she does is come down stairs every now and then bc she doesn’t wanna go to sleep.
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Have a bedtime routine n let them know ahead of time it’s almost bedtime so they get fair warning it’s almost time to settle down
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Just let her cry. Eventually she’ll fall aslep
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I have a 10 yr old who is high functioning, with anxiety and PTSD and he has fits and I just ignore it until he is over it. Whether it’s 5 minutes or 4 hours. After we have a conversation about it
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I don’t. Personally, I would never let my child cry themselves to sleep regardless of age. I will always comfort my child. I’m an adult and I don’t want to cry myself to sleep, it’s a terrible feeling. She’s not going to want to sleep with you forever. It’s gone this long, whats another year or two ? If it’s that big of a deal to you, surely there’s other ways to ease her into it.
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My almost 6 y/o still will cry and refuse to go to bed because she’s scared. And she has slept apart from me since she was a year old. At this age it is no longer the cry it out method. I make her comfortable with a night light and leaving the hall light on, providing her with other things that make her feel comfortable like her stuffy and reading her a book. And if all of that doesn’t help and she still whines and cries, I have a conversation with her and assure her that there’s no such thing as monsters and if she’s worried or scared she should pray about it. If I go through all of that and she is still refusing to go to bed, I explain there will be a punishment for not listening.
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I don’t know why you can’t be with her, I would help her sleep by staying with her and holding, patting, rubbing, singing, whatever she’s needing. Going to sleep alone is scary for kids.
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Personally, we still lay down with our 5 year old until he falls to sleep and sometimes our 8 year old. They will get to the point where they won’t want you in there so we take full advantage of it!
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I have a routine we do bath time brush teeth favorite pjs - my son is the same age he loves his 10 stuff animals tucked in with him in bed, we check under bed and close all doors - too at night time he has his sensor night lights for potty - and astronaut galaxy night light for the room - he expects me to lay with him but knows ill go back to sleep when he does - we read a book of his choice.
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At 6. She should already be going to bed by herself. One story. And bed.
I believe in letting them cry. It doesn’t hurt them. Not allowed to get out of bed at all.
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Give them some wireless headphones and spend some time on audible or at the elibrary for some bedtime stories. Implement that in your night routine. Could be by now they are used to the one on one attention at that time. They can listen themself to sleep.
You don’t period…I have severe emotional trauma from being forced to cry it out alone in my room as a small child…I am almost 40 and I vividly remember being that petrified child bawling my eyes out…my daughter is 15 and I have never not once made her cry it out
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Mine did this so I bought her a walkie talkie and now she may call me once to turn on a light or get her a snack
Talk to her and find out what exactly she’s scared of (strange noises or the dark usually) and try to make her room feel like a safe space so she is more comfortable sleeping in it. You can always lay with her until she falls asleep, the crying it out method may not be physically harmful but can cause mental/emotional issues. You can choose how you parent crying it out is obviously not illegal but i do recommend doing some research on it because it’s proven to have negative effects on children. Good luck with the transition, it takes patience! 
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I don’t believe in letting them cry. She’s scared,alone and frustrated. She needs reassurance mummy. Lay with her until she sleeps. I still do it with my son. He has terrible anxiety… so instead of the drama, I lay with him.
All kids are different and it is NEVER to late to start a new routine. This mommy does need to be judged, she is asking for help. If you got it right with your kid… kuddos to you. I still lay with my 12 year old at times. He struggles with anxiety… I basically work at his pace. For now, I just love the extra quiet time with him.
I never did cry it out but I’m an older mom with older children
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Have you tried a weighted snuggly? My 7 year old got one last year and it works a treat, worked so well it lives on the end of her bed cause she doesn’t need it anymore.
You don’t. Also, try making bed time when she is actually tired.
A space night light, if they have a TV put an aquarium on. My kid loves the dori reef cam. Assure them they are safe and you will see them in the morning
I never let my kids cry it out. They were typically scared, don’t want to be alone, or just want to be with you! They’re only young for a few years!! Enjoy those years cuddling, you’ll miss it once they’re grown
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as long as it takes. at 6, they’re too old for that.
I’m sorry your struggling with this it’s normal. And sorry so many rude comments from so many professionals mothers what works for one may not work for the other. Every household is ran differently and every child is different. My son is 8 and he has slept with me forever and idc how anyone views it. He has finally choose to start sleeping in his own bed few days ago it shocked me but I encouraged it and he’s been good so far. Every morning I have awakened him for school i tell him how proud i am hes being such a big boy.and keep it up. I make it a big deal that he slept all night in his bed. I hope it gets easier for you. Good Luck momma.
I don’t. I comfort my children, read with them, play a lullaby on repeat and have a night light so they feel soothed and safe. And I either sit there until they fall asleep or I tell them I’m going to leave and come back in 2 minutes which is actually 5 minutes and gradually tell them I’ll come back to check on them in a “few” minutes which could be like 20-45 minutes until they learn to fall asleep on their own without me being there. And if they wake up in the middle of the night and climb into my bed, I let them if it’s 2AM or later and let them fall asleep then carry them back to bed. Eventually they stop getting out of their own bed. If you let them “cry it out” all you’re doing is traumatizing them because they feel alone and scared and you’ve shown them they can’t count on you to be there for them when they need you.
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At 6 years old i was terrified of the dark. I didnt want to tell my parents because i would feel embarrsed and didn’t to burden my parents. When it was time for bed i would get tucked in, lay there for hours on end some nights waiting to fall asleep always thinking something was going to crawl out from beneath my bed and get me.
Never. I never let any of my kids “cry it out” without offering some kind of comfort. I personally hate that system.
One time. I couldn’t stand it. I never let her cry it out again. She’s now 18 and on her third day at Loyola. She’s brilliant, happy and well adjusted.
I will never understand why parent do the cry it out method.
I’d never come to this page for advice because other moms make you feel bad for your decisions!
You can do all the things comfort them, talk them etc and sometimes nothings works!
Sometimes kids will cry just to get more attention. So letting them cry it out after all else fails is not a big deal!
Sometimes you have to set that boundary and keep it like that or else it will just never end!
Getting your child on a good schedule is important, comforting them and showing them it’s not scary is important but hell let the kid cry it out.
Now if it just continues and continues for weeks then yeah maybe consult with someone
But moms shouldn’t shame other moms for letting a kid cry it out Jesus Christ
I don’t. My son is 6 and still wants snuggles at bed time. No he won’t cry and carry on if I don’t but I also have to remember sooner rather than later he won’t want that from me anymore so I am taking advantage of that while I still have it. It won’t hurt anything by helping them fall asleep. If anything the older they get they’ll remember you doing that and appreciate you for being there when they needed you. Something I wish my parents had done for me at that age.