How long should my ex be with his girlfriend before our child meets her?

Kids meet new people all the time. I would want to know who it is first so I could Facebook stalk them and make sure they don’t have a criminal record for child abuse or something like that. I wouldn’t be okay with anyone sleeping over for awhile though

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If he is a good guy and you trust him…let him make the choice. The child isn’t only your child. Dad is the parent as well. This is not only your choice. You are not the controller. And that’s something you’ll have to get used to.

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I met my step kids pretty early on, like I was with him a month, but I was just their dads friend to them, we didnt really bond until we were together longer. They were 5 and 2 yrs at the time

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People come in and out of kids lives daily it’s a movie …the only thing is say is fine go with him but no need to be touchy feely in front of your child

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I think it’s best to wait because I introduced my ex boyfriend pretty quick and my kids loved him very much and it was extremely hard on them when we broke up. My ex husband did a revolving door of women after our divorce and my kids seemed to care less because they knew each girl wasn’t going to last.

I think it’s best to wait, it’s not only hard on a child but that person as well if it doesn’t work out. So yes it’s you’re business who is in you’re child’s life. You never know their intentions. Weather they last or not he should wait before jumping on introducing his child to a new women.

Hun sometimes it’s not up to us. My ex has had 3 new girlfriends in a short period of time and all I can do is mention to him the example it’s setting for our son but apart from that it’s out of our hands. I trust my ex so I know he won’t be with anyone who would bring harm to my child but the example he is setting is the concern I raise.

How long do you wait before introducing a new boyfriend?

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Honestly, legally there is no time frame. You just gotta let it go. My ex has had 1 serious girlfriend and a wife. And a bunch of others in there. And he didnt drive for years so he used to come get the kids with whatever random person. But my boyfriend now and I have only been together for a year, but my kids knew him before we even got together because we were friends first. My kids have loved him since day one.

No certain timeframe

1 when they are comfortable with each other for a few months. 2 when you are comfortable with her, 3 when your children are comfortable around her.

Talk to him, ask him what he would be comfortable with if you were the one dating someone, and tell him what you are okay with and what not… make a plan together and both of you respect it. It’s all about communication

All he needs to do is tell your son she is a friend and not be making out with her in front of him. Out side of that it’s fine.

I would explain to the son that it is his friend…might help

You can’t do anything about it. I will say I don’t think there’s a magic number. It depends on the relationships dynamics. You can nicely mention it to him but he can also continue to do it, unfortunately it’s part of co parenting.

In a healthy environment? 1 year. However you have no control over this. It’s your ex’s life and his choice

It’s none of your business, and the more you try to make it your business the more miserable you’ll make everyone.

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I’d ask to meet her yourself and see if she’s the type of person you want to be around your son. I’d tell your ex that your child should consider her daddy’s friend instead of girlfriend until they know it’s going to work out.

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My husband told me up front that until he felt our relationship was going somewhere that he wouldn’t introduce me to his son. I had great respect for him because of that. We were together about 4 months and had rented an apt together before I met his son. We were married 2 years later. It’s best not to keep bringing different people around for children to get attached to and then just disappear.

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Definitely need at least 6 months… And for you and her to meet first, just so she can put a face to “mom”

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Personally if I was in your shoes I’d say 6 months to a year. How long would you want to be in a relationship until you wanted to introduce your child/children? It’s a two way street, hold yourself to the same standards you hold your ex to in these kinds of situations. Be fair to each other so that the child/children can see a healthy connection as parents. Also, Meeting each other’s SO’s would be smart just to establish parents stances before the child/children are introduced to the situation. Just talk with each other and find a common ground to work with positively.

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Good question. If you think this relationship is going to last then and only then let them meet. You don’t want your kids to full in love with them just to break their heart. When you think it is time you will know.

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Well how long would u wait to o tricycle someone to him? Go based on that! Also, if you’re really worried then why don’t u ask to meet her too, see what kind of person she is for yourself :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I wouldn’t suggest right away but your sons father won’t want to wait awhile to see how she is with your son. They may not work out cuz she cant handle the child. But at the same time not to early cuz it does effect them when they come in and out

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Depending on your parenting agreement, you might have 0 say in this. Your ex will need to parent to the best of his ability when he is the parent on duty…just as you need to when the child is under your supervision.

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I had 6 months written into our divorce decree.

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Ultimately it’s not your decision to make. You can talk civilly with your ex about your hopes that he not have a revolving door of girlfriends meeting your son but he is your ex’s child too.

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Quick answer. It’s his decision and his parenting time. He’s no longer yours to control. Does he tell you what you’re allowed to do when the child is with you? Relinquish your illusion of control and it will be a lot healthier for your child.

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It should be up to him and in what context they meet. This is the prob with divorce, you don’t get a vote

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Children should definitly be considered when starting a new relationship.i would not let the child meet the new person until that i knew it was more than just a hook up for physical needs. Maybe a couple months and you are sure it is def going in a positive direction . it works both ways . make sure your both being as stringent with bringing hone someone new .

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I would ask if you can meet her civilly 1st because you want to be ok with her around your child but do the same also. I think it needs to go both ways. He should feel comfortable with your bf around your child also.

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Personally I don’t think it’s healthy to have relationship after relationship involving your child. I think once a relationship seems to be becoming serious then it’s ok but kids get attached. And what a horrible thing for them to get attached to person after person only for those people to be out of their lives. I have been married 17 years to a wonderful man who had 3 kids before we met and I have one from a previous relationship. I didn’t meet his kids till 6 months went by same for my son. It just seems like when parents get divorced or separated kids going through a period of loss also and to have them go through that time and time and time again seems selfish. None of us know if a relationship will work out so why rush it.

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I dont think that matters. As long as your son is being treated well by all in his life. The child should not see much relatio ship behavior as it is. That is like saying your ex is not allowed to have friends around your son. You both need to trust eachothers judgement. In situations you believe are dangerous, court can get involved .

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I don’t think it’s necessary for mom and gf to meet. If the ex husband thinks she is good enough to meet his child then so be it. I hate ex wives sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong if the child is not complaining. My husband’s ex still blames things on him and I getting married and it’s been 7 years. I don’t dance to all the rules his ex thinks I need to. In fact, I don’t dance to any of her rules and his child still likes me.

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You should trust the father’s decision and parenting until you need to question it.

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Honestly, if you have joint custody, it’s not really up to you. You guys can talk about it, but that’s his choice and you can’t control what he does.

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you are right wait and see where it goes, it is hard on a child and might screw them up if dad and gf do not stay together and he does it again and again children learn from watching us.

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That isn’t much of your business. If you have talked to your ex and expressed your concerns then that is all. Time to move on.

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I met my step son 4 days into meeting & dating his dad. We explained that I was my husbands friend. Even now, he refers to me as “Kyler, daddy’s friend” and we’ve been married for a year.

If you try to force a decision, it’s gonna cause issues. Just be clear with what you expect, & hope that he makes the best decision for his child. I know that my husband was extremely picky about who he let meet his son, for the fact of how it affects him. They’re not the enemy, so trust his fatherly instincts.

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Honestly I would did it right away so that I could get their opinion

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It depends on the age of the kids. My husbands kids were 4 and 5 when we met after 2 months, and they treated me like I was their dad’s friend. It was no big deal

It took me 6 months of dating my fiancee before I let him meet my kids

I would have to atleast 6 months ,take the time to get to know someone before moving so fast

didn’t you move his dad out of his life?

I think that it’s up to your ex.

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That’s gonna be his choice.

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6 months unless they live together before then, then 3 months

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I would think about 3 months.

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Unfortunately my husbands ex wife made his three children hate him and of course me. We’ve been married 21 years and nothing has changed.

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I think that should be your ex’s decision.

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You probably don’t have a say unless it’s in divorce.

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Dont divorce you wont have that problem

One year. You need to know the bitch isn’t crazy or a drug addict, or whatever. Sorry my husband and I didn’t wait long but we were married 9 months later.

Y’all mother fuckin women who want to dictate who your ex can and can’t date by using your child as a means to do so need to get over yourselves.

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Never ever introduced my kid to anyone I dated unless it was a serious relationship
Year+ - my opinion of course, never had issues of the dad seeing women cuz he never brought our child around women, he’d go to there house or vice versa when the our child was with me !
Co parenting - when child is with the other, parent should be ALL about that child and not about having to deal with some new fling the man/woman has !

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Why can’t the dad… Kid. and woman go to the movies as friends. I mean… The dad can just explain her as a friend who wanted to see the same movie… He doesn’t have to tell the child its his girlfriend.

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Honestly, people are gonna come in and out of your child’s life, and theirs nothing you can do about that. It’s a lot harder to explain why a relative doesn’t come around anymore because they passed away, than to explain absence because of a break up. It happens. As long as you trust the dad, let the baby go to the movies.

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If you wait too long to introduce the kid, he/she will wonder why this person came out of nowhere and is taking up so much of their parents time/attention.

The sooner you understand that you will have NO CONTROL when your son is with him, the better off you’ll be.

When your ex decides. If the relationship works out great if not, than it’s your exs responsibility to explain to the child. Depending on the child’s age and understanding of the relationship. It’s not up to the other person.

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I don’t think there is a “calendar days” time … it should be based on each individual… how old is your son? how long has his dad been your ex? what is the relationship between your son and his father? I don’t see any issues kids meeting people, if they end up married great, if not ok the kid met a woman who went to the movies with his dad …

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When your ex decides the person I gonna be a permanent fixture.

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There is no right and no wrong. You can hope that he measures the next step by the “right time” according to the child. But whatever it is you have to be the adult about it. Make it as normal as possible and there won’t be a problem.

When dad decides it is a good time. You decide when the child meets your new partners, not his. My ex husband took OUR son camping the first week he was dating his now baby mom and gf of 3 years.

6 months plus hun I didn’t introduce my son to my partner until then and we have been together a year and half now xxxx

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3 months minimum. 6 months preferably.

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I’d say a year or two years

Agree with an above comment of when your ex decides she will be a permanent fixture. My kids’ grandpa kept bringing his gf’s around my kids then breaking up with them…I don’t like that. Don’t bring your gf to meet your family until you’re sure things will stick. My kids have experienced enough people coming in & out of their lives & if I can control that happening then I will. It’s not fair to get attached to someone just to have them not come around anymore. My 8 year old autistic son mentioned to me the other day he wanted “Grammy & meemaw to come pick him up”…we haven’t seen or talked to them in a year & it broke my heart to hear that from him. If I can control my kids hearts getting broken from people abandoning them then I will.

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When they know it’s a long term relationship. Kids don’t need people in and out of their lives. Your ex can date a different woman every night, but your kids don’t need to meet any of them. Your ex should know not introduce his kid unless he knows this person is not temporary.

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Minimum 6 months because of attachment issues and then… Poof she may be gone. Font want the child to become too stressed over a temporary person