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QUESTION:
"At what age do you start to have adult children help with household bills if they are still living at home and not attending school? How much should they help with? I struggle with this. I know they need responsibility but for some reason, I feel bad having them help with household bills. I just can’t see having a 21-year-old home not helping pay house bills if they aren’t attending college. Help me out, moms. I’d love to hear moms' thoughts with adult children."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"They should have their own insurance and phone bill (paying their part of a family plan if that’s the case), and any special groceries they want. If utilities have increased significantly, the extra. That’s how I was raised. It really all depends on the situation though."
"At least enough to cover the uprise in utilities and a portion of the other bills. Also depends if they are saving to eventually move out"
"I think once they are out of school and earning they should help pay bills…nothing in life is free and they will learn the value of money and when they eventually move out in their own they will know how to manage their money."
"My mom never made me pay. I bought my own house at 23. Looking back I wish I would have given her something to help. But I paid my own cell, my car note, my car insurance and anything else I wanted. I also worked full time and was a college student at night full time."
"Told my oldest that once he starts working he will pay his own cell phone bill and help with car insurance. He wants to move out, so I want him to save for that so once he is ready he has a nice savings stashed away. My mom never made me pay rent and I wont make him either."
"A few hundred a month and then take that money and put it in a savings account for them and keep it to help save money to move out. (Don't tell them what you're doing) I think it’s important to lend a hand and help your kids as much as you can, the world is already hard enough as it is, try to do what you can to help them get on their feet."
"My guys are 20 and 25. Both still live with us and both work full time. We charge them $30/week plus still do chores. They pretty much take care of all the yard work and do their own laundry. We use the “rent” for groceries or dinner on occasion. Can we afford our bills without it? Absolutely. But they do need to learn how to be an adult. There will be no unproductive people I put out into the world who cannot take care of themselves."
"My mom never made me pay rent, and I wouldn’t dream of having my daughters pay rent when they’re older. But, with that said I did start helping ny mom with smaller bills such as internet, electricity, etc. when I was 19."
"When I graduated high school,my parents charged me $100 a month for rent, I had to get my own cell phone plan, and what it cost to insure my car because it was on their policy. Plus I had to help with chores around the house. My brother had the same rules when he graduated also."
"It sounds like you are just trying to teach them accountability rather than that you actually need help with bills. I would have them pay their cell phone and car insurance. No more then about $200 a month. I would take that money they pay and deposit it in a savings account and give it to them when they decide they are ready to move out. That way they have some money saved for that time."
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