That’s how most men are
You guys are a team so he should be helping out as much as he can. It’s his kids also so he needs to be involved.
A marriage/relationship is 50/50. My ex used to say “my hands don’t fit no broom” so I said. “Your hands can hold your d*** from now on then” and I only cleaned and cooked for me and kids. His clothes piled up. His stomach growled. If a grown ass man cannot get off his butt to help take care of home you both live in…and help take care of kids you both made then he needs to find somewhere else to go.
It does not matter if he works outside the home or not. Once he steps inside. It’s his responsibility to help out.
I like to do most of the disciplining. Because my husband likes to yell. He is a great father but he just referrers to yelling 99% of the time. I just have a lot more patience than he does so I just like to be the one that takes on that responsibility. But everyone is different
50/50
Although husband is not allowed to yell at our kids or I yell at him. I get protective of the kids and he’s never done wrong it’s me not him
We have an understanding
Ur husband should be helping it’s called parenting and working as a team. I’d sit him down and tell him this is how it’s gunna be… my husband has been helping with our son since the day he was born (almost 6 years ago) even though my husband is still recovering from cardiac arrest back in March and having surgery cause of it he still gets up and helps with our son while I go to work…
Well we are blended family here and my older son does not take it well when my husband disciplines him as in grounding or telling him things. It actually always causes fights. But have a narcissistic ex husband filling his head with things makes it difficult too. But my youngest son calls my husband dad and thinks of him as his dad so he does help me with him! Good luck wish I was of more help!
I’ve only been with my man 2 years and my son is 8 he helps me out
My husband and I are 50/50 with work , chores and parenting.
You should talk to him.
No. My husband does not “help” me with OUR kids. He PARENTS. He is their father and is 50% responsible for their upbringing.
I do the punishment my other half doesn’t and honestly I don’t want him too he is way to cruel
Mine helped with nothing. And now he’s no longer here lol
All men r that way…he knows you will handle it just fine so hes letting you discipline…as far as house work and chores just talk to him …good luck
You should be doing the same amount of childcare especially if you both work. What, should the kids see only you as the ‘real’ parent? He needs to be involved.
In the last 25+ years my husband hasn’t helped do anything except tell me what to do. Idk how his sister’s husband got conned into doing the house work for all of their married life. No disrespect intended but her mother never did house work either or laundry. Mine won’t even take his dirty cup to the kitchen
Honestly I do most of the enforcing rules and reminding but sometimes he steps up with the more firm punishments/reinforcement and they do listen better for him.
My husband cooked for 35 yrs now that he is aging we now share it
My husband is amazing…helps with my 2 boys that are not his…cooks and cleans…he’s amazing
Yes. My husband, is my kids’s step dad. He helps with them. Like they’re his own. He takes care of them while I’m at work during the morning(I’m off by 2 usually). We’ve been together 8 years. Married 4. We seperated for a little, not long ago. He still came around to see the kids. He helps with them. Punishment. During school, getting them off to school. Bedtime. Doctors appointments. Dentist appointments. Literally everything s parent should help with.
Home/work divided up however suits your family, yet parenting should be equally shared whenever both parents are available. Parenting is not your ‘job’, it’s your responsibility.
This is long, sorry - but may help… This worked/works for us, now my hubby has always helped, but this is a trick we learned that worked for us… 4 kids 13-26. We chose what we were “taking care of”. Now things have always changed, but for the most part it’s worked. I did sports and school, he took care of lunches and consequences, punishments (so to speak) he had “the talk” and handles the Boy stuff, and I do for the Girls. We divided and conquered. Now, with that being said. We raised 3 wonderful, smart and talented adults… The 4th one, she’s 13, 10 years younger from the others at least, like an only child which was a complete 180 for us. She changed everything. We literally switched. Because she is the other 3, rolled in a ball, lite on fire and shot out of a cannon, as my hubby puts it. Maybe you could ask him to take care of one thing, start small.
Like being in responsibile about makonh sure they take care of their hygiene, teeth, shower, etc. (my kids needed that lol) or homework, talks, breakfast. Anything. But something he might not mind, even enjoy. And then add something else, like preparing school lunch the night before, or their rooms. And if it doesn’t work, compromise, change it up. I know every family dynamic is different. But tag teaming helped us. Literally “I am tagging out of this one” was a common saying in our home when it became too much or was affecting us negatively. When it comes to your kids, it never hurts to try a new strategy. Good luck - God love them, but kids are hard headed and stubborn like their parents. Maybe you can use that to your advantage with our partner.
If you both work he should help you I no how that feels my guy friend won’t help do nothing an he isn’t working yet but when it was the other way around he didn’t have to do nothing all I ask from him he could do the cooking an I kept his house very clean
Relationships are 50/50 he should 100% support you when you discipline. But if you are a stay at home mom then it really should be 90% on you. If you both work then he absolutely needs to put effort into helping with the kids and house. And if he doesn’t like it he best be figuring out how to make enough money to make you a stay at home mom.
It should be a partnership … not just helping.
Says the single mum who didn’t have that and does it on her own now lol
Yes. If he’s home. He was once the stay at home parent so he knows what to through on a day to day basis.
Expectations… well that is just set up for failure right there. How about come to an understanding how a household functions. It’s not 1 person’s responsibility to manage it.
I have 2 teenage girls that my partner is a step dad to and a 3 year old daughter together, I’m so lucky that he does just as much as I do. We both work full time, mine being shift work, the 16 year old works casually and dances, 13 year old is full on with weekend netball, rep netball and coaching a younger team and our youngest with tennis and swimming lessons and just generally tests our ability to keep up with her
Our household is on the go at all times but who ever is home just deals with it because that’s what we do as parents and partners. He not only helps with the girls but he cooks (not as good as me ), cleans, transports, puts a load of washing on, feeds everyone their specific requirements (vegetarian) and keeps everyone alive when he is alone
Does he have issues regarding discipline? Like does he get anxiety when it’s time to take charge with the kid’s behaviors? Or is he just expecting you to do it all?
U should be equal partners in any relationship
I dont have a husband but i feel like if he isnt stepping up and helping its time to sit down and have a heart to heart. You both need to work together as a team. Kids are hard. Im a single mom. I wish i had help. Talk to him. Then seen what changes. And go from there love
He’s gotta parent up too
We work together as a team!!
Hell my husband does shopping, goes to work and help takes care of grandkids who live with us. Dam shame yout going through that.
It’s not called helping, it’s called parenting.
Apparently you’re not supposed to help or vent or vent to anyone else and or ask anyone else for help🤷
Kick his butt he should help correct them and help you more if he really loves you he will
Someone once told me “a happy home requires 100/100 not 50/50.”
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It’s not help. If we think of it as hell it’s easier to allow them to not. Their kids. Their home it’s not helping it’s doing. That said mine was not a fan of doing. It got better as time went on because I wasn’t allowing him to think he was doing me a favor. As if the entirety of the household and child raising was my job not his too. That said. Divorced after 20 years.
My ex husband didn’t do shit! Shit. Unless I screamed and bitched than maybe he would do a little. The man I’m with now. Sheesh. He helps raise my 4 children and our daughter we share. 5 kids he helps me raise. Helps me cook clean and with discipline and homework. Chores. Respect. All of it. He wakes up out of his sleep when im up with the baby asking if I need help. I’m use to doing everything by myself. He is a blessing
Its called house wife
If you’re doing all of one thing he needs to do all of something equally unpleasant/pleasant. It’s called partners for a reason.
Tell him you can’t do everything. Choose something and help. Otherwise it will wait till you decide to do it. Kids are old enough to help even at the age of 1 or 2. They can pick up toys do it with them and make it a game they won’t even realize they are helping. Try Fly Lady on the internet. God bless. It helps also to make a list of chores. Mark them out as you do it. It helps bring perspective and help you to feel accomplished. As for discipline use time outs first or taking a favorite toy if you spank him just pop his bottom 1-2 times. He should get the picture. I would do the popping as last resort.
I don’t expect my husband to do much he works I stay home with the kiddos
When he isn’t working though he helps out a lot
He should be. I have news for those of y’all saying that all men are like this
My husband 32 years this year was spoilt rotten. I looked after the house and the kids. He did not help me around house. Dump his stuff for me clean up after his lazy butt. I am your wife not your cleaner or cook. Resentment when he does not appreciate what you do. He is a chauvinistic pig. Dump your crap wherever because he makes money get real. My sons were taught by myself to be good men and tidy up after yourself.
In my family, it’s difficult because we are a blended family. But we’ve worked through hurdles. Alot of communication. Sometimes I feel he is being unfair to my son, sometimes he feels I am being unfair to his son. But we work through it. It is usually me being more of the punishing one, but im also home with the kids more too. You and your husband won’t agree on everything all the time, including punishments. So I would def communicate.
Ja ja If you have to ask social medial for the answer than the answer is 0% your spending to much time on here
Punishment is an outdated way to handle kids anyway.