I always put on invites that f gifts are absolutely not necessary!
I had a similar situation. My daughter and son birthdays are 5 days apart. They are 3 years apart. I used to have their birthdays together and I would invite equal amount of friends so there wasn’t a problem.
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I’d just ask for them not to bring presents because to the kids it’s the presence that matters.
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In my opinion, I feel like the 2 year old isn’t going to be as aware as the 4 year old and would be content with something new to play with or even just the balloons from the party 💁 but I would just put a few ideas of small gifts for each child and say something to the effect of - as always, gifts for either is optional! And put something about appreciating presence over presents.
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You could do the 2 year old party first and the four year old second, and on the invitations you could say “birthday extravaganza, little one #1 1pm-2pm and little one #2 2:30pm-3:30pm”
That way the little one gets their party before getting too tired. And maybe she naps during the older kids party.
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Why are they having parties together? I have 2 sets of Irish twins & their birthdays are always seperate.
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I’m laughing because I also over think everything!! The two year old probably won’t notice she will just be so happy to see people and be celebrated.
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Just address them for your son. I always put no gifts and if they do, give books they don’t read but have. Your daughter can be included, big brother might let her open gifts but you can always put them aside and have him open when sister is sleeping or write down what you got from who and do thank you’s later.
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I’d do separate birthday parties so there’s less confusion 
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You’re over thinking it. Put both names and ages on the invitations. When the parents RSVP explain that they are not obligated to buy younger child a present. I would always stash a few extra little presents wrapped for younger sibling just in case.
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You have a separate birthday party for school kids and another one for family.
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Why do they share a birthday? Born same day two years apart? Do separate parties.
I do a combo birthday party for my girls they are 1yr, 1mn & 1day apart. I do 2 themes, 2 different invitations, 1 location. We also don’t open gifts at the party. Let’s be honest it’s only the adults that even pay attention.
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I would have their birthday parties on separate days.
Keep the parties seperate…on seperate days…so each can have thier own party or do his at his school in class
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I would make a note on the invitation to the classmates, that a gift is not necessary, that their presence will be a gift…or something of that nature, and just let your close friends and family bring gifts.
My daughers are 10 days apart. They get separate birthdays. I do one on one weekend, skip a weekend then do the other one. Maybe do separate parties this year.
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I’m having a joint party for my 4&9 year old at a soft play and I’m putting both names on it xxx
Just put his name on his friends invites and invite a couple of little friends for your dd and put her name on theirs. If they don’t know her they don’t need to buy fir her and she shouldn’t be expecting it either. I know she’s 2 but telling her they’re his friends so his presents should be enough
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My daughters are having a joint birthday this year, they are going to be inviting 5 friends each, I will send out extra invites in case people don’t show up, my daughters are going to 5 and 9. This is there 1st birthday with friends. I will get my mum to write them out and send 5 with the older on to school and give the daycare teachers the 5 to hand out to the younger ones
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Even if the invite had 2 names on I’d only buy for the one my kid knows. With the thought others would do the same I.e the other kid would have gifts off people they know too.
Just put the one kids name on each of the invites. If the youngest doesn’t have friends to invite then really it’s only the older kids party (unless family are attending as well)
Ask for no gifts to be brought. Easier on everyone!!!
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I’d address the invites from your son but also add into the envelope a small extra note on a separate paper regarding your daughter. So guests are aware and won’t be surprised. And then the other way around for guests for your daughter’s party.
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You really should do separate parties in my opinion. Do one a couple days before and the other a couple days after. The day of their actual birthday do something small with just you guys. Rotate who’s birthday party is first every year. To me they should each get their own day and this would be as fair as possible. When they get old enough you could always ask them.
I’d only invite classmates to the child’s birthday that they know. Then when the younger one has a birthday maybe invite one or two of the closer friends of the oldest child.
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well i only ever had 1 birthday which was for me and the rest was my sisters , maybe space them a week apart so that the girls can have their own party, I know at the age off 2 your younger 1 wont know that her birthday is on her sisters birthday but she still needs her own
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I don’t think the 2 year old will even notice or remember how many gifts she got. There’s parties that make double bdays and put “it’s a double bday “ on the invites. I could see if they were twins or older that there might be an issue as u stated, but two yr old? Should be ok. I remember when I was in kindergarten and I went to a party at McDonald’s for a girl who is a twin in my class and my mom sent me with one gift. They opened my gift last and everyone turned and looked at me, especially the twins! Like how could you not get me/her a gift,too? I guess it had slipped my mom’s mind that their bday was the same day lol I’m not sure she even knew my friend had a twins, I do remember crying about it and my mom showing me the invite was JUST FOR TAYLOR. (Friend’s name) so, technically they didn’t invite me to a double party. Strange how much I remember, but I still do Bc the sister was real mean to me ask the time and at the party.
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Request no gifts. Let gifts be from family and close personal friends only.
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Put something about it being a joint party. Some people get upset when they show up to a joint party with only one gift. I personally would buy for both kids no matter who my child was invited for
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Is your daughter in daycare? If so, invite her friends also? Or put a note into the invitation explaining that it is a joint birthday party and no gifts are requested?
She’s 2. Doubt she will notice. Get her 20 things from the dollar tree to wrap if you’re worried about. Chances are she’ll he preoccupied by the first gift she opens and won’t care to open anymore though.
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If my child was invited to the party, I would want to have a gift for both kids. Birthdays are special. I would want to celebrate both.
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I have a 4 year old and my baby (4 month girl) shares his birthday… I am not going to do one party. My other kids all get their own day so they are too. Even if I have to space it out. They are going to have their own day/party to enjoy. And I also don’t want the same issue with the school stuff since my son starts pre k in August and their birthday is in January.
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Some parents in my son’s elementary class have joint parties. I check the verbiage on the invite. If the invite reads “Join us for Megan & Michael’s birthday!” (example) then I bring a gift for both. Others send individual invites specific to the child even though it is a joint party. When it reads “Join us for Michael’s birthday!” then I bring one. Hopefully, I’m following proper etiquette. 
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As your kids get older you may wanna do two separate parties
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Give them separate parties
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We do one invite and then a slip of paper that says “this is a joint party but please do not feel obligated to buy for both. You’re invited as a guest of —”
Our invitations also always say that gifts aren’t necessary but are welcome.
Some parents ask no gifts and really mean it. I think it’s a fun part of birthday for kids to not only open gifts but my children love to pick something out for their friends when they get invited to a party.
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Separate parties would be great. My sister and I have a birthday just 2 days apart and we always had a joint party. As a kid, I would have preferred to have my own. Just a thought.
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As a child who shared her birthday with her younger brother…do separate parties. The 2 year old won’t know it’s her bday yet so just host a party for your son and then host a small close family party for the 2 year old on a different day. When we were in school but still little my mom would host a lunch party for my younger brother and then an afternoon early dinner party for me on the same day but as we got older we had separate days to host parties and did family only on our actual birthday.
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I would celebrate the birthdays separately.
Each child is special and should have their own special day
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a 2 yr old really doesn’t know nor understand what is going on, Have a small birthday with just the immediate family & then have your son’s birthday with his friends
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I always say your child presences is a present!
I would do them separate that’s their day
Just have separate bday parties. They should be allowed their own time to shine
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As somebody else has already said put joint party on the invitation 
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Do separate birthdays. But also don’t expect people to bring gifts for the parties either. Not everyone can afford gifts for other children.
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Separate parties. It doesn’t need to be celebrated on the same day
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I did this once. I added both names to the invite but also let them know gift were not obligatory or even needed at all we just wanted the classmates to show up
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Have different parties
Separate parties. They both deserve their special day.
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Put both names and people can decide for theme selves. Most people that get a gift for one will for both.
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Instead of a gift request a donation to the Humane Society or some other charity
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If it’s combined birthday party then put both kids on invitation
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Don’t combine the party till they are both in school and can invite the same number of kids each. Asking people to buy your kid a gift that they or their kid doesn’t know is a gift grab and tacky. You can ask for no gifts that would be okay then.
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separate the bdays the one who is 2 isn’t old enough to realize what the deal is anyway. state no gifts on the invitations also.
If yhe 2 year old says anything then explain that the presents are for her brother’s birthday from his guests. Guests shouldn’t feel obligated to give another present for a child that didn’t invite them
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Yall remember that some parents can’t afford two separate parties! But I’d just do separate invitations for his class. And joint ones for family and friends.
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Just put both kids names on the invitations
Instead of gifts
A donation to a charity (of your choice)
Would be appreciated
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Regardless they share the date they were born, they are two separate individuals and should be treated as such.
Yes, It could’nt hurt
I always wrote on invites. Gifts not necessarily… if you must, just a birthday card with $1 inside…
Kids that age feel rich with a dollar, lol