I have a toxic mother. The stories I could tell. The best thing to do is completely cut ties. It is not worth your internal peace to always feel like you are walking on egg shells, not ever good enough, used, and mentally abused.
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Anyone who thinks she āmight not realize what sheās sayingā is delusional. She knows exactly what sheās saying and how rude it is.
Either cut her off or make your contact with her limited. Youāll have to lawn learn to try to shrug off her comments. Nothing you can say to a person like that will change them. Doesnāt matter how heartfelt you try to be with them about how their comments make you feel.
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Sheās your mother but that doesnāt mean you have to put up with her crap. Stand up to her or cut her off
I understand your frustration my mother likes to trash talk me to my children and then denies it and tells me my kids talk bad about me to her. My children have started to record her and well I donāt understand why she would create drama unnecessarily. I have had to keep conversation with my mother to a minimum and the minute she brings up my kids I stop the conversation. My advise stay strong and know that you canāt change a person who does not realize they are the problem. Love your mom respectfully from a distance but do not allow her to make you bitter. Remember that misery loves company
If you want to keep seeing her. Sit her down and donāt let her interrupt (but be brief), and have a paper with āthe rulesā written out you can leave with her.
Tell her if she says anything hurtful you will call her on it either telling her, or using a code word or gesture (I can think of a few 
!)She can apologize or you will leave immediately, then do so.
After X number of times not apologizing or X number of times of rudeness or X times your having to leave, tell her you will be taking a break from seeing her. Then cut off all contact for at least 3 months. Tell her you will allow her back in your life only if she goes to to therapy, with & without you.
Take your power back. May want to coordinate efforts with your siblings so you all leave together or give her the death stare after her next snark. If you could confront her with the new rules together and all abide by them, it will be easier on you & harder for mom to protest.
If she whines about not seeing you, tell her it was her choice. Also, Iām guessing she will try to bash you all to the rest of her family and friends, so if thereās a way you could let everyone know immediately afterwards what is happening, the better.
Maybe a blast email saying, you have all reached the limit with her hurtful comments that have been constant over the years, and she is setting a disrespectful example for your children. Therefore, you are trying to give her the chance to change her ways, but if she doesnāt, you will be taking a break from interacting with her. So if they wonder why you are not visiting, calling, or participating in family events where she will be present, thatās why.
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Iād call her out load and clear every time she is rude or body shames. Even print out some articles on the damage that it causes.
Make sure to remind her we are trying to teach our children self love and body shaming is rude, judgmental and beneath an adult. Every time, donāt get embarrassed, donāt back down and stand up for yourself. Iād personally distance myself from someone who always tears me down, parent or not.
No need to do it privately or gestures, she donāt need any consideration if she is hurting others!!
Call her ass about in front of everyone. Embarrass the hell oyt of her!! Sonds like she needs a dose of her own medicine!
My step mom used to tell me I needed to suck in my stomach so I didnāt look fat in publicā¦ I was in 8th grade!! You have every right to tell her what sheās saying hurts you and your sisters and if she doesnāt like it then do what you feel is best but the toxicity isnāt healthy
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Lol ypu dont associate period with toxic people. Im sorry. Blood or not toxic is pure toxic. And your kids or future kids will feel the same. So dont associate period.
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Yeah my mom still constantly tells me how when she was my age she was a size 0 and that guys donāt like fat girls. So yeah honestly the best way to stop that is to just ignore it and walk away
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Iād be telling her offā¦I got this from my dad and my brother. Well still do but much less now. Point isā¦I made it clear to them that I am happy.
Call her outā¦ tell her she should have got the right sizeā¦put her in her place a few timesā¦if that doesnt work. Go no contact. Body shaming is never a good thing and she knows she does it.
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Have a come to Jesus meeting with her, tell her if she canāt show you all respect, there will be no further interaction with her. And stick you your guns!
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Moms are just regular people who are held to a higher standard. Moms make mistakes, sometimes big ones. Talk to her rationally, like adults. She loves you and would sacrifice her life for yoursā¦
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I cant help because my toxic mother is much different than yours lol. That sounds like playful banter to me lol. But sheās done good the past year and we have a genuine relationship building. But yeah, i dont have much to say but, āwell, if it dont fit, Iāll just return it and get the 4 dollars you spent on it and buy me a coffee, cuz surely this tacky thing isnāt over 5 bucksā but in a laughing manner xD
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Yah, i just distance myself as much as i can and dont listen to the things she says, theyre irrelevant. Shes a damaged person that is never going to change, just need to accept what they are and move on.
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My mom is, just in a different way. Sheās negative about ALL things 90% of the time. She lives with me and my family. When Iāve had enough, I have to completely ignore her for a few days.
Wow! Thatās awful. Iād never talk to my daughter like that. I would tell her off.
I would tell her mom I think Iām gonna hang on to my weight I love myself just the way I am and the fact that it upsets you so much just makes my day what can she say them sheās rude and if you turn it around it might work
Jealous is what she sounds like. Envious and nasty
I grew up with my mother telling me that I was dumb, stupid and ugly which caused me to always have very low self-esteem. I canāt repeat the rest of the things she would say to me. Mean and hateful woman.
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I wouldāve left a long time ago and told her to shut up!
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My grandmother was and still is the same way. She caused most if not all of my insecurities about myself