We are looking for ways to discipline a nearly three-year-old boy. He’s just started to throw everything, not listening, spitting water everywhere. We have told him no, tapped him on the hand if he does something dangerous like trying to open the oven while it’s on, the naughty step, and nothing seems to work. Any help will be greatly appreciated.
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Dont give up. Hes testing his limits. My almost 3 year old does it to. Hes been getting better as the time goes on. He started to hate getting in trouble
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I put mine in a time out chair and everytime she gets up i put her right back in it till she gets it. Somedays it takes all day but she is getting better. Just takes alot of patience:heart:
I am a firm believer in natural consequences for behavioral issues, good or bad.
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Keep doing what you’re doing. I agree that he is testing you and seeing what limits he has. It’s like a little light switch goes off in their head and they realize they have an opinion. Or that they can say no back. He’s definitely testing you. You are doing wonderful!
Time out is definitely still a thing for us too!
Colour chart… To show when your angry and happy! If he stays on happy for X amount of time you praise him with a treat 
this worked with my daughter till she was 6!
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Being consistent is key!
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Ignore the behavior NOT the child. Dont say anything after the first time putting him on the step. He is looking for attention he gets it everytime you talk to him. But when the “punishment” is done then say wow I liked the way you sat there and thats it.
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My boy is same age…I also use timeouts, but sometimes that doesn’t work. I have recently started taking things away instead. That has been working well along with timeouts.
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Okay so for my oldest: throwing stuff I took whatever it was a way and continued to do it with everything they threw until they had nothing left and explained that they wouldn’t get those things back next time (2nd time I literally put them in a trashcan with a clean bag just for scare) and as for the oven issue I preheated it to about 275 (barely hot but hot enough for them to realize it’s hot which in most cases is uncomfortable) and had them put one finger on the door VERY briefly, enough for them to get the understanding that it is hot and also not a toy. If none of the above help, honestly with my youngest nothing did, until I “accidentally” let a toy hit me and pretended like it really truly hurt (depending on what it is it actually might) for her I basically had to physically let something “hurt” me by one of her actions or she wouldn’t understand (she’s got a learning disability currently being rediagnosed by a specialist at a children’s hospital because her previous Dr (kids psych) wasn’t doing any further evaluation
Mine is what I say deliberately disobedient. He listens when he wants otherwise he is off the wall and hard to discipline. Just have to try and stay consistent!! You got this! Day by day!
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Whatever contingency you have in place for a specific behavior, use it and be consistent. The behavior is most likely to get worse before it gets better. Sooner or later he will understand that when he does x, y happens, and then the behavior will start to decrease. Good luck!
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I guess i was raised different lol. Here in the southern USA, i got my ass whooped as a kid. Not too hard of course, but enough to let me know that i needed to correct that behavior lol
Time out. Find a place where they have to put their face in the corner. Walk past them and ignore them. If he 3 start with 3 minutes ask them what they did wrong if he can’t tell you start over. This worked with my two kids. But stay in there momma. You just have to find what works
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Beat his ass!!1980s !
Time out works for us. And we put those latches on the oven too.
Give her a spank period , I’m not talking about abuse or anything , once in a while they need to listen and sometimes the only way is from a spank 
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If they are throwing them take the thing they threw away from them don’t give it them back…
Tbh I can’t really give advice for this as my nearly 5 year old daughter never did anything like that, she never hit another child either, she was a very behaved child up until she got into school in September and she now is one little gobby girl😂typical girls I say hahahaha xxx
One of mine use to throw things constantly. I got to where everything he threw that was his went into a garbage bag. I eventually managed to collect all of his favorite toys and kept them in the bag and he had to earn them back through good choices. That was his motivator. Each of mine had a different thing that motivated them though.
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Sometimes when they do this it is actually an impulse thing rather than a disobedience thing. Particularly if he is in the right schema and his needs aren’t being met. My son was in the trajectory schema (motion) for a long time and did this regularly. When we finally clicked on and started making more motion toys accessible for him (balls, cars, water play etc) the ‘disobedient’ throwing and hitting went away as his needs were being met. I.e he not longer had the impulse to do it because it was being fulfilled throughout his day. Maybe have a look at the trajectory schema and see
You need to stimulate his mind. Get him some activity books. Does he see someone doing what he is doing?
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May be mean, but I yell, NO! Loud enough to startle and get their attention and then I say, “That is dangerous. Do not do that.” I repeat that 3 times and if they still don’t listen, he has to go to the livingroom to play on his own and calm down.
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Take him to the Drs. Have him checked out. Maybe something is going on that you can’t see.
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My daughter gets a warning and if she continues she goes to the corner for timeout. She stays in for 3 minutes (a minute per year) and when it’s done we explain what she did. Consistency is key and you have to explain why they’re going in time out. And each time they get out restart the timer. It’s frustrating but they love testing boundaries at this age! I’ve found the more I would snap and react the worse her behavior was. I would ignore tantrums (if possible) especially if she was not in danger of hurting herself. She would realize I’m not paying attention and stop. If I reacted to every single thing she did she would live in the corner lol Give yourself grace and remind yourself you’re human and it’s ok to get frustrated.
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More love. The more undesirable they act, the more they need. Catch them doing good things and freak out at how amazing they are. When they freak out, hug them instead of time out.
Affection, affection, affection.
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Keep doing what you’re doing and also take the stuff away. He will get it.
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Ahh an age old question… lol. Good luck. Consistency is key. You and the other parent must be on the same page. Pick a concequence (not spanking) and stick with it. Stick with it. Stick with it.
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If you have a child like mine literally nothing will work and you’ll be ready for a straight jacket soon 
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Maybe he is bored? If you can try getting him outside and running wild a couple hours a day. Some boys have a lot of energy, and when there is no option for safe play to get rid of the energy, those little brains get malicious 
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Time outs. Stay consistent and calm. One minute for each year of age (3yr old would sit for 3 mins) and have them sit somewhere boring where they can’t see the TV or other kids playing. Only use spanking if their actions would result in pain, like hitting another kid they’d normally get hit back, or touching a hot stove they’d normally get burned. The idea of discipline is to give them lighter consequences than what the real world would give them. Never rely on spanking because you will end up using it when you’re mad which just sends the message that it’s ok to get physical when you’re mad. Good luck momma just do what feels right!!
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Swat across the bottom
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Had to once, and just like me… my kids never did whatever that got them the spank again.
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Flick his ass in the forehead.
Time out in front of the fridge hands above their heads legs apart military style they’ll get it
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I redirect by doing a different action while doing the unwanted action.
Instead of don’t touch that. Come touch this and put it over here.
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Spanking isn’t abuse if done correctly. I get we are in a generation where it’s “abuse” to not give in to the child, but a pop on the butt will not harm the child. No, don’t grab them up and beat them. Just a light pop, and then afterwards, talk with your child and explain why they got the spanking. And then hug it out and let the child know you still love them.
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I yell and I spank. Only when needed. Yelling probably more so because he’d be doing something like reaching for the heater and yelling “Don’t touch that!” Is going to stop him better than just telling him before he hurts himself. But really, talk to them about what it is they want and how dangerous it is. My son wanted to help with everything. But he had to understand that only mom can touch the knives, only mom can use the cleaning spray because for him it was to dangerous yet. I make sure I talk to him like I would an older kid. I dont lighten my voice at all to sound cutier, I lower it because it gets his attention to understand that what I’m saying is something he needs to listen too well. But I would also show him. I let him hold a knife when he was younger, and told him the correct way to hold it before I told him that he shouldn’t touch it. Because one day he may finally pick up a knife and be curious, and id rather he know how to hold it and what damage it can cause than not know what it is at all besides something he can’t have. Kids are curious, you got to satisfy the curiosity before you go about changing that behavior. Let him open the oven with you, but tell him how to do it and then let him knkw that he can only do it with you till he’s older because he can get hurt. My son really benefited from this. I can leave glue, scissors, and craft supplies in his room in reach and he won’t bother with them, he is 4, but he wouldn’t bother with it when he was 3 either. Now other kids that are way older I’ve had over have used the scissors to cut my sons night lights. Had to have a talk with them and they said they didn’t know it would cut the cord. They need to know before they hurt themselves. Wouldn’t you feel frustrated and lash out if you were in a world where you hardly knew anything about the things around you and so you’re curious naturally but your mom keeps not letting you around these things so you get mad cause you’re still a toddler who dont know how to control emotions as well.
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We had a designated time out chair that faced the wall and had a timer on it
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Take a special stuff animal away or sit him in chair and make him flood his hands for 3 minutes and must setup straight full minutes a minute per year
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Time-ins are more effective than time-outs
This link also has a “ages and stages” section that I recommend you check out.
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You bust there butt… plain and simple. And we wonder why these kids are growing up and getting into trouble and thinking they are entitled to everything. All this coddling and redirecting is bologni… You didn’t see kids in the old days acting up a d getting in trouble. They did it once and got spanked and they new not to do it again… This is what’s wrong with the world today…
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When my 3 year old starts acting out bad, I think back and more often than not it’s because I’ve been preoccupied with other things lately and not giving him as much attention as he needs/wants. As soon as I start playing with him more again and giving him back the attention, the bad behavior stops.
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Usually a 5 minute time out with a calm reassuring conversation afterward seems to do the trick most times. You really should consider what is causing the behavior. My 5yr old son acts put when he isn’t being engaged or his sister is getting all the attention. It’s easier to keep him engaged than to deal with the behavior after. Although it’s not always possible.
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Constant redirecting … holding him for a few minutes if time out chair doesn’t work.
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Send the whole child back.
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Spitting gets a finger swab of vinegar in the mouth my kids all learned real fast they don’t like vinegar and a spanking on the butt is never fun I would start as a little pat and get a little harder everytime they still did not listen (never did i get hard enough to be like beating them)
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Rather than having a "time out"for bad behavior, try opting for a “time in”… Where you sit down with your little in a quiet, predesignated space and talk about the behavior, read books together that specify the cause and effect of said behavior. Amazon has a great line of parent/child books on different behavior scenario’s that you can read together. My son will be 4 next month and we recently started doing time in’s instead of time outs in December and his has changed his behaviors already! He still has the occasional bad day, but so do I. At 3 years old he literally is not capable of controlling his actions and emotions sometimes, so its up to us as parents to show them the appropriate way to handle those “off” moments.
I hope this helps!!
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All you people are nuts! Spanking a child will not kill them! What works for one child may not work for others. Every child is different!
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My almost 2yr does this now, he gets his ass popped, drink taken away, toys taken away.
It’s very difficult but try to over praise when good things are done praise praise praise and they will want more of it so be more good, also try 123 magic method look it up in you tube it’s a very good abs affective method, but also remember he is only 3 and will be pushing boundaries to find what is abs isn’t acceptable pick your battles or you will be constantly telling him off which will in turn encourage more lash outs good
Luck xx
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It depends on the child . Time out worked for my oldest or going in the corner . The second boy comes along and nothing worked ( he even laughed at me if I spanked him ) . Somehow , the third came along and she was the princess but was very strong willed . I made it through ( by the grace of God and many prayers ) and they all are 32 , 28 and 24 and are successful adults . Also , know that some kids go through the “ terrible twos “ at the age of 3 !
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It depends what generation you ask. Today’s generation believes your child is supposed to sit in front of a tv and tablet and as long as it sings the ABC’s once or twice then it’s “educational”. Versus the previous generation who didn’t grow up in a world where you could fart wrong and it offends everyone. It really depends on who you ask.
Whenever my 2 yr olds throws, he has to go pick it up.
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Let me know when you come across a mis behaved child who is spanked. They know better
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A pat on the butt not hard but firm & also say no in a firm tone remember they are little people that dont know right from wrong, you got this mama !
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At that age they’re testing boundaries and figuring out their emotions. We did time outs, they only stay in as many minutes as they are old the. Ask them why they acted that way and what they were feeling. Just punishment doesn’t work if they don’t know why they feel that way. We would talk to our kids have them tell us how they were feeling and ask them how they thought they should act when they feel that way then give them a good cuddle after the time out. It really helps
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watch Supernannys take on punishment.
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I’ve been practicing gentle parenting and learning about their brain development, what’s developmentally appropriate. I believe understanding their WHY helps us guide them better. We connect and make sure she’s heard, label her feelings and understand natural consequences. This group is amazing if you want to try a different approach Gentle Parenting International following Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s books)
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My son gets time outs. They usually work. But if it is a persistent behavior throughout the day, I will spank him.
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PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC BY FOSTER CLINE AND JIM FAY! Definitely worth a read or a skim!
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He Is looking for attention at this point in time the attention sadly is because he misbehaved. Start doing this with him so he can be praised. Ok attention now a plus
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I’m sure I will get criticism…dont care…bust that tail
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Take him away from it don’t speak to him for a few mins even negative attention is good attention in a kids eyes praise him and make a big deal of it when he does even the simplest of good things xx
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Read up on the solihull approach too might help xx
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Personally my daughter is 16 now and I’ve never had to pat her on the hand, spank her or any other physical punishment, I feel like if you spank or physically punish a child, its gonna be very difficult to punish them if they hit someone else, seeing as you the adult has hit them. Take his favorite toys away, no cartoons or shows he likes to watch, stand in the corner, and when he has a whole week where you dont have to do any punishment, reward him with a new book or toy, maybe a special trip somewhere. Make a chart to put stars on his good days and teach him what they mean, He will begin to associate good behavior leads to good things, some might agree with this and some might not, we all do things differently🤷♀️ Only you will really be able to know what will work best for your child.
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1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan.
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Spending always work for me and my kids.
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Time out, my girl its about to be 3 in April, kids are smarter than what you’ll think, I try to avoid the word “no” but replace it for a different word, for example instead of "“don’t run!!” I said walk, running its dangerous inside the house, instead of don’t throw stuff I say “hey that’s very wrong, we don’t throw things, they broke and its harmful” and every single time that she’s on a tantrum even if I’m already inpatient I said " I’m so sorry my love, come give mommy a hug, crying its okay sometimes and she always said I’m sorry mommy I love you mommy, I said I love you too, but that (whatever the tantrum its about) it’s very dangerous, you can have it later its enough for today… etc with all of this I barely use the time out she is very understanding.
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Most of the comments here are very informative. <3
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Make him clean up his own mess. Then sit him on a kitchen chair facing the wall.
I point a wooden spoon at my child and talk to them like I’m madea. Works everytime. And one the situation is calmed down and they understand their behavior isn’t okay, I invite them into my lap to find out why they’re acting that way. Do they need attention from mom? Are they tired? Cranky? Hangry? And we fix the problem. Then we turn on some music and dance it out. 
He is a BABY! Do not spank that baby!
I watch my great grandson, and when he is doing something wrong I will tell him what he is doing is wrong and why, if he keeps going it I will tell him does he want me to smack his legs(just a quit seat on the thigh) he will tell me no, if he continues I start counting I get to one he says no mamaw, I tell him to quit then but by the time I get to two he says ok mamaw and quits, he is 2 1/2.