His grandparents may be old school you made your bed now lay in it don’t know for sure but it just may be
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He shouldn’t have gone lol he should have spoken up on your behalf and the fact he didn’t speaks volumes.
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They are acting like this because of what he told them about you,red flag
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Time to find out the truth on what he told them.
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If he was a real man he would have stayed just for you, but you are excluded honey that’s a red flag from the family . if he’s asked where’s your girlfriend and kids what will he answer ?
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Maybe next year ? Family isn’t about maybes honey pack ur stuff and move on keep that ring since she gets an upgrade obviously snobby and rich let them make their bed and lay in it otherwise ur looking like a whole fool
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How long ago did you guys move back in together? I feel like if it was super recent they might not have made the same accomodations they usually would in preparation for Christmas.
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I’d go over there, give Granny back the ring and tell her family isn’t conditional - you’re either in or out.
Then I’d say thank you for everything up to Thanksgiving, turn and walk away. Go home, pack up and leave because the fact that your man didn’t fight for you is a huge red flag!
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He’s 100% be coming home to all of our belongings gone. 
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Yeah no that’s not going as a great as you think . Time to leave . You are his family now it’s suppose to be you guys against the world nown
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I feel both sides of this…like I understand the hurt of being left out, especially for the kids…if things are going so great and he’s serious about a future together I think it would’ve been better to have planned something together with the kids so no one was left feeling unwanted in that situation…he probably went more for his kid than anything but if they are serious about their relationship and possible marriage then the other children should’ve been included…he can’t force his family to feel any certain way but he CAN choose to do the right thing for his little blended family…when kids are involved you have to be either all-in or move on and go your separate ways…step kids not feeling accepted or as important in the new family is one of the worst feelings to experience and it stays with them for a long time…
On the other hand, not knowing the extent of details about the separation and how big an ordeal it was…The grandparents may not feel comfortable with things so freshly reconciled yet…and like others have said may not have prepared for the other children and don’t want them to be left out while everyone is opening gifts…but they got left out anyways…so I feel like something could’ve been worked out if the gifts were the issue…she could’ve brought gifts for them to the party or something like that…but ultimately I don’t really side with the grandparents…IF they are really serious and have been together for that long and the kids have been made to feel like family to now exclude them I feel is wrong…cause the kids are innocent in all of it…
My son broke up with his girlfriend…then later got back together with her…there were things that bothered me about that whole thing but when he wanted to bring her over or to family stuff I did not say anything because if he’s serious about her then that should be respected as his decision…if he loves her and I want to be a part of his life then I need to accept her too and so long as she’s not being physically or mentally abusive I’m not going to say anything or make her feel left out or rejected…their relationship challenges are their business to work out…it’s my job to love my son and support what makes him happy and that includes who he chooses to love
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He obviously puts his family first over you. Not good. He also may of told them things that were not true n exaggerated alot to put the blame all on you as well. Thinking you should just leave n don’t look back. The guy is showing you his true colors. If he loved you so much, he’d be with you on Christmas n celebrating it together.
I can understand maybe them not getting you personally anything for Christmas and telling you the “maybe next year”, but if you have been taking your 3 kids there for the last 4 years, and they supposedly treated your children as if they were their own great-grandchildren. I don’t know, it honestly leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If they “love” your children the way you thought they did, they wouldn’t be shunning them too. Your kids did nothing wrong, and should not be involved in or punished for adult goings on. I’m sorry punishing children and making them feel not included, as if they did something wrong, unwanted, unloved, unequal, the list goes on and on, on how you children must feel. Sorry I have a 5 year old personally and if this happened to them, I would truly be heart sick over the entire situation. You got to think this thru, seriously. This may be them showing there true colors, and you also got to question what your “boyfriend” told them while you to was fighting. Just put your kids first and look out for their best interests, and be the best mom you kids could ever need. Hugs to you
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I don’t blame u… I would feel the same…
Toxic behaviour… and ur boyfriend is an arsehole for going and not sticking up for u…
So he would rather spend Xmas without u and ur kids??
It would be the kids I feel terrible for… they don’t deserve any of that…
Make ur own Christmas… and ur own life from now on…
Because that is NOT a committed partner that cares for u and those children…
He should have at least spoken to them and stood by you…
I would run a mile … to do that to the kids… is shitty
Get out now… RUN!!!
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Tell him you love him now not (maybe next year).How does he feel about this behavior from them.He could be torn,however I agree that adults should not hurt children.Little of blame to go around.Even if they did not get gifts for those kids they should have worked something out.
Oh NO! Don’t let him put his child b4 yrs.if he was any kind of man he should have refused his parents. They could have handled this btr.Give him Ultimatum…
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Some of y’all are petty Bettie’s 
that is all 
…
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You packed up and took your children now you’re back and expect things to go back to normal. The family don’t see you like they did before because you walked out on him in their eyes so that makes you the bad guy. You and him may have worked things out but the family has been poisoned against you by what the boyfriend has said.
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You know what happened? HE HAPPENED. He went running his mouth about you to his family when shit got tough. My ex-husband was the same way with his family even though he is the one who ended up with two full 2 year protection orders against him for abusing us and HE was the one having an affair… with my brother’s ex-wife!!! We did absolutely nothing wrong except leave the situation. I offered to even drop the boys off to his Mom’s house for Christmas before he got there and they all refused. Run and don’t look back. If that family doesn’t want you or your children around… that’s THEIR loss! It’s been 9 years since anyone including him, has seen my boys. To be honest, I found an amazing man and his parents have accepted us right from the beginning even if stuff got hard and he admitted it to them!! We’ve been together for almost 4 years now!
This is why u never vent to friend or family about your significant other period cause they won’t & don’t forgive them like you do.
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I think you need to say to your boyfriend if your not invited then personally you should all stay together for xmas day and they shouldn’t go round for the dinner, maybe they should go round for the evening, xmas day is about family and you should always stick together, I personally think they have a problem with you now, family always take there own sides, but I wouldnt let it ruin your relationship, theres two people in a relationship and it’s not always the one person’s fault but family always seem to take sides and seem to get shity when things go wrong, when personally the family shouldn’t as it will always stick with you and make things worse for you both.
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He def spoke negatively about you to them and now they have a bad taste in their mouth. We also have no idea why y’all broke up and why you left in the first place. Another option is, maybe it’s to soon after you guys Bri f separated and they didn’t honestly think you’d be around, so they didn’t get gifts for you guys. Either way, my bf would never leave me and the kids on Xmas. That to me is more than a red flag than all the other stuff.
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Look when you packed ur ahit and left the 1st time. They all put up walls and barriers because not only did you leave him but you left the family.
You can expect people just to forgive you and let you back in with open arms. We they gave their heart to ya once accepted u and ur kids.
My fiance and I had a rough patch. We split up. Few weeks went by and we didn’t wanna be apart anymore and his family literally told him that I was unwelcomed that I was never gunna be apart of the family and more.
Guess what it last 3 months of not being treated kindly by he parents and rest of the family.
But we are all good now. So truthfully. Suck it up buttercup. You did it to urself. When u moved out instead of being a woman and staying and fixing things.
To them ur a runner and they don’t trust you not to hurt him or them again.
Even if u weren’t the one at fault. U will always be the bad guy for leaving and coming back instead of staying
What if it’s a simple as a) they didn’t have gifts ready for you and yours, and b) they had invited others in your place? I understand the more the merrier attitude in some homes, but some people are very traditional and like a sit down dinner and only want to accommodate what fits. However, part of me wonders what was said about you to his family to have them act this way. Maybe they felt betrayed by the fact that you left the house for a while. There’s always more to each story, but let’s say this issue between you and your fiancé was bad (like police needed to be called kind of bad -Obviouslly it probably wasn’t, but) they could definitely still be reeling from that shock. In order for us to give proper advice here, we’d need to know what happened in the « rough patch »…
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Maybe they did their Christmas shopping while you were moved out and were. They didn’t want to hurt you or kids by having y’all come over to nothing?
Maybe they couldn’t afford or didn’t have the opportunity to get y’all gifts?
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It’s as simple as, they have not ever included or “loved” you guys the way they made you BELIEVE they did. Thats literally not possible, if they won’t let you guys come. Your relationship has nothing to do with them. They found the first reason they could, to use as a way to treat you the REAL way they have secretly always felt deep down.
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He is definitely cheating and has his side piece at the family Christmas that you should be at!!
Make a surprise visit over to his grandparents.
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You just never know what he told them about the breakup. He couldn’t even stick up for you & say no he’ll go when everyone is invited.
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Make sure you have plans new years and dont end up baby sitting his kids !
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Families are funny Beasts… I don’t agree with the grandparents not including you in Christmas. Sometimes families feel they have the right to meddle in the private realm of relationships when they don’t know the whole story. Don’t feel bad girl, Just chalk it up to seeing true colors. If they really loved you and your kids you would be there. I would rather know someone’s true colors then be fooled by their second face. Ya know, now that you know their true colors, next year when they invite you, You can Kindly reply “Thank You, but Maybe next year.”
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Here’s the deal:
You packed your stuff.
You packed your kids stuff.
And you left.
Yeah. It was just a month but when you first left no one -including you- knew exactly when you’d be back or if you’d come back at all.
Your boyfriend and you may have worked stuff out…but if he’s close to his grandparents it’s likely he vented his feelings to them because he needed someone to talk to (I’m sure you did your share of venting to someone) or at the very least told them what was going on and they need some time to come to terms with how they feel…maybe they’re even waiting to make sure you’re actually sticking around this time.
Think about it like this: they’ve always treated you like family. They’ve viewed your children as their own grandchildren and they likely had a bond with them.
When you left you didn’t just leave your boyfriend…you took three of their grandchildren away. And you took grandparents away from your children.
If it had been a permanent leave…they’d have never seen each other again.
And It’s not like this happened even 6 months ago, it was super super recent. Both the leaving and the coming back.
Just because you’ve worked things out with your boyfriend and resolved your issues doesn’t mean that the grandparents have worked through their feelings about it all yet and as his family they’ve got feelings and concerns too.
Maybe they don’t want to work to hide it during Christmas.
Sometimes our actions have unforseen consequences…This is one for you.
It sounds like you expected everything to miraculously go back exactly how it was.
But relationships of any kind just don’t work like that.
Christmas dinner isn’t or shouldn’t be time to try to work through stuff like that… especially if it’s more than grandparents, him, and his child.
And…to be honest…He shouldn’t have to choose between the family that’s always been there for him and his girlfriend whose only been “back” for a short time.
Because it’s not just him it’s also his child as well. Should he deny her time with her great grandparents for you?
Would you deny your kids people who are important to them for him?
Give it a little time.
Set sometime aside after the holidays for a visit to the grandparents (or invite them over) and try to start mending the relationship with them.
If it can’t be mended the that’s a different conversation.
If this had all happened back several months ago it would be a different conversation…
But you have to really look at the timeline here too.
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That’s why people shouldn’t discuss their relationship issues with family. He probably confided in them at some point and now they have different feelings about you. I’m sorry, I hope it changes. Maybe all of you sit like adults over dinner and chat.
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Oh wow. It all depends what he told them. Was it your fault? The break up? Them excluding you guys is super wrong. I personally would rethink the whole relationship with him too. If you guys were excuded then why didn’t he stay home with you? Who is his family? You and the kids or them?
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Give it time. They see it as you left for a month. They probably do not want to get close again for fear of you leaving. If they truly are as great as you say, just give it time.
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I would definitely be upset but also can understand their side of it. Maybe it hurt them when yall split and they’re afraid to get close just yet out of fear that yall will separate again??? Idk… im sorry you’re going thru that and you have every right to be upset
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He shouldn’t have gone
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Reach out on your own time and talk to his grandparents, Maybe they are afraid to “get close” and have you leave again. Loving someone else children can be really scary especially if you are unsure of the outcome.
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Families can be funny. Who know what he said about you during the break up which was not their business. Now y’all back together and he is looking stupid in front of his family. Now, who knows what’s really going on because at this point, he is lying.
Four years doesn’t mean anything because in reality, like you said, y’all weren’t happy together. You should’ve had kept living on your own with your children instead of going back. That’s to much stress for your children alone. Is like being in a unstable relationship and home. Start getting your things together with your children and live your own life accordingly. All that back and forth is an energy waste. Move out and take care of yours. His family are HIS family, not yours. You should know that by now.
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Nope nope nope nope big ass NOPE if they fuck babies over they can gtfo my life also likely he talked shit about you
You should not have been excluded! Your relationship is not anyone’s business!
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He should have stayed home if you were not welcome. I would cut your losses and move on, you don’t need that drama and neither do your kids🤷🏻♀️
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You think the grandparents want drama at THEIR house in Christmas, a special time when families get together? I’d do the same thing… knowing you left, but not knowing how your relationship is going…. Yes, maybe next year just to make sure your still around 
. Can’t blame them, it’s THEIR home, not yours. Let them have their feelings, don’t punish them for it. It’s a different era from when they grew up.
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Yall are just dating yall are not married so his family is not your family. How come you dont go to your own familys?
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What did he tell them? Maybe he went and said some untrue things. Id communicate to him about how you and your kids feel being left out maybe even call grandma speak on it.
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Id never show up again.
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Maybe they wanted it to be a nice time no awkwardness
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It is not right for those grandparents to take it out on little innocent children… who had no control over the situation or decisions made by adults.
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Make your own Christmas The Christmas tradition s change
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Wow very sad. I wonder what he said to them durning the break up.
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Nope, the fact that he went and allowed that says alot. They should be not part of y’all’s problems. Time to end it
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Your boyfriend should have taken a stand to show you your relationship comes first before his family. If he cannot do that, you will ALWAYS come in second. Talk to him about that. If he stood up for you, you can bet the grandparents would give in!!!
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My.bf wouldn’t have gone to that family Xmas party without me. Rough patch or not. If your working on shit, this is part of ot. Excluding ppl isn’t how tonprogress. It builds resentment and hurt feelings. People shouldn’t tell others what to do in their relationships. If it isn’t yours. Butt out.
He should have not gone or said I’m not coming without her! Blame him not his family!
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Personally I wouldn’t go to any more get together at all I’d do my own and invite no one.
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Well since you had moved out I bet the grandparents didn’t get gifts and prepare to have the 4 additional people this year. You can’t blame them for not inviting you right after you guys split up. It seems really flakey to go back and forth.
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Maybe the Grandparents are afraid of getting too invested if you just had a break up.
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Maybe they had found out you’s got back tg too late and didn’t have gifts for the kids so they didn’t want them to feel left out??
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Do your own thing then with your kids…don’t worry it. Don’t stress. But make sure NOTHING is left over when he gets back…including yourself. 
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I wouldn’t have let him go. And if he love and respected you IMO he wouldn’t have went without you
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Back in our grandparents day they married and stay married.The breaking up n getting bk together thing wasnt in their vocabulary…honestly they may look at yall relationship a different way now and not want to consider you family because you left…just a thought.
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What the hell?! Screw that be like if we cant go to family functions then im out and so are my kids. That should show you that they no longer consider you or your kids part of the family. You nor the kids need to be around that. Thats not ok at all!
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If you really love your boyfriend, let it go! It should all work itself out with time,you will know if it does or not! Do not try to stop him from seeing his family, that’s a big mistake, and he shouldn’t have to choose!
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Just ride it out…wait for next year but don’t take it personally
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Maybe they just thought it was a wrap🤷🏽♀️ at the end of the day thats his family. He has all right to go.
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Wow he should have put his foot down and said that’s my family it’s all of us or none of us. You guys should talk about it and explain to him how it made you feel and the kids.
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Maybe its a lesson to him, so he can feel the void of you all not being there. If this grandma gave him her own engagement ring and yall are still playing house, then you left, now you’re back, she probably figured the ring was his hint. Another perspective is all.
That’s messed up. My ex and I broke up alot. He was still expected to attend every family party and same with me. Even when we were broken up.
He should not have went without you and he should of said that. Its his job to defend you to his family if you are together.
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We cannot un-ring a bell, and I’m sorry.
It is no fun being left out.
Start your own tradition this year, big dinner and all.
It is what it is… Time is a healer of all things …
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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During your break up did you keep in touch with the grandparents at all or did you cut the off?
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Dump the grandparents. 
Lol jk I’ve got nothing.
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I don’t understand how people are saying this is okay. No, no its not. That boyfriend should stand up for you and he clearly doesn’t think of you guys as his family
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So, after seeing some messed up things in family, I have seen where in between break ups, instead of talking to their partner about their emotions, they go to family and discuss all the issues from day 1 of the relationship to the point that the family hates them. When the relationship is on again, the family has mixed emotions and still has hatred towards the used to be “ex”. If only people talked to each other as much instead of their family members for gossip, their relationship just might be okay and have zero breaks.
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Let it go… it’s his family
They probably dislike you for packing up and leaving instead of staying and working it out.
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Sounds like he dogged you and faulted you to everyone for and during the separation.
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Next year. See where this goes. It’s a stumbling block for now Don’t know why but they were hurt too. Give it time
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When you separate from your spouse you also separate from the family. You have NO claim to HIS family or THEIR family Christmas. Your kids and you belong with YOUR family. Breakups suck🤷♀️
No if he came back his family needs to accept it with us it’s my mom so I sent her a Christmas gift she never wants to see me again because we fought and got back we have a son he’s like a father to my 8 year old too.
Maybe they didn’t buy gifts because of the split up and felt bad.
That’s why you don’t vent to your family about your relationship. It’s not their fault, it’s his. You have to hold him responsible to fix that, and make it right with them.
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Often times families arent as forgiving. Y’all need to sit down and talk with them.
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Oh this is simple. He ran you into the fucking ground to them and probably portrayed himself as the victim, causing alot of hard feelings from them. I guarantee he did that and that’s a problem alone, but to me the biggest issue is that he had no problem excluding you and your children at Christmas time after just getting back together. A man that stood up for his family would have put his foot down and said he’s not going ANYWHERE his girlfriend/fiance and stepkids aren’t welcome.
Depending on when you came back it may also be something to do with the fact that maybe they didnt get your kids presents and now they feel awkward because y’all are back together and they didnt prepare for you and your kids to be there:thinking: 
break ups in the middle of the holiday season can be super awkward for everyone involved when it comes to blended families and kids (just from personal experiences)
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Don’t read too much into it. They are just trying to protect their own and you have no idea what he told them. This too shall pass.
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He shouldnt have gone without you.
HE just literally set the precedent of how theyre allowed to treat you.
He clearly isnt on the same page as you.
Id be having a serious talk about where its headed if he has allowed this kind of behavior from his family.
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He wasn’t speaking highly of you when you moved out, therefore they have changed their feelings for you.
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Shouldn’t have gone without you. If my husband was excluded from an event, me and my Children wouldn’t be attending either!
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I’m sure your partner trashed you during your time apart.
They no longer think well of you now.
Gotta accept this and hope they come around, and forgive your partner for causing this situation.
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The fact that your boyfriend didn’t decline going to his grandparents speaks volumes. He should have told them if all of you are not invited, then none are going.
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You can see where his priorities lie and it is not with you.
Sounds like he talked allot of crap about you to people.
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To much information missing… Reminds me some of my exs… did you cheat on him or why did you split? Your fault or his? This post makes him look like the bad guy and seems intentionally done that way… I might be a guy who has been hurt to many times and don’t trust anyone but this post screams you’re to blame for the temporary break up! Not sure of you realize that. Maybe you are blaming yourself for something he did, which in that case I am wrong. Lots of times victims blame themselves for things that are not there fault. I hope you’re not the victim of whatever happened in your relationship but also if you did cheat on him or break up with him, just know things will probably never be the same and he’ll probably never fully trust you again but you can still make a relationship/marriage work with lots of work and openness on whomever was at fault. Open phones, open social media, 100% open communication and classes such as a celebrate recovery program or other programs together. There is 1 called Re-engage that I’ve heard great things about. My wife and I have not done it yet but we do celebrate recovery and step study groups that have helped us tremendously open to others, to each other and to God! If you want it truly work no matter who caused the break up, get into Christian based programs or if you’re of another faith, they all offer different programs… Honestly secular programs are okay but they’ll only help so long. Get a Christian counselor or whatever faith you believe in. Just get some help asap!
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You moved out, now they feel like it’s not as permanent as they thought so it’s not important to them that you and your kids are there. Think about it…it’s too soon to just accept you back in as if nothing didn’t happen, Thanksgiving was in November and it’s now December.
That’s his family, he’s never missed a dinner probably and y’all only just made up, regardless if things are going great. The fact that things went bad enough for you to pack your things up and move out says a lot.
He probably trashed you, BUT- what IF- they got close to you and your kids and it was hard on them. Could it be they want to make sure you two are going to work before they invest more energy and continue getting closer?
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Yea he shouldn’t have gone without you. Teaching his family that it’s okay to disrespect you.
I feel like there is a piece to the puzzle missing here. Why did you guys break up?