How should I handle my child fighting at school?

how would you handle your 4th grade daughter getting into a fight at school?

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Depends on the context. If she’s defending or standing up for herself, we’re getting ice cream. If she’s being a bully and beating on people for fun, she’d probably get an ass whooping from me.

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Depends on why she was fighting.

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Not enough information here for anyone to give sound advice.

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What was the reason?

Depends… how did it start and the basis?
Ive had a kid fight over 5cents he was in big trouble. Ive had another stand up to a bully and fight back which i stood behind and fought the discipline. Ive had one defend herself which i stood behind him and he didnt get suspended. I have my granddaughter who got written up for pulling on the coat of a boy only to learn she was getting him off her friend who was yelling at him to get off her. Soo… really it depends i will never get upset of over my kids defending themself and standing up for others which they do alot. They even pay other students lunches.

It depends on what started it. Was she being bullied constantly? Did someone hit her 1st? If she started 1st or is being a bully then she needs to be corrected and taught appropriate behavior, if someone is constantly bullying her or put their hands on her 1st, then its self defense and id personally high five her and take her out to dinner 🤷

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It depends if she was defending herself

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I got into a fight at school because a boy was being an asshole and we fought. My mom whooped my ass even though i was defending myself and i think about it to this day. Grudge? A little but i’m in my 30’s now. But i was really upset my mom kicked my ass for it.

Completely situation dependent 🤦 duh

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Depends is she defending herself!? If so take her out for ice cream!

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Handle it with patience, you’re an adult and a great example to your child remember that.

Yeah it depends on why like I tell my kids if ur gonna fight it better be cause ur defending yourself

It would depend on the reason, atleast for me…

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If she’s being a bully haul her ass to the cop shop and have them talk to her!

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With this day in age you have to see why she did it.

More info needed for this question…I need details!

At least she knows how to defend herself

Anger management classes, grounding, visit to the jail etc

Not enough information. Was the fight with a teacher or student? What was the reason for the fight? etc. You cant give a vague question and expect a correct response.

If it’s self defense give her a pat on the back. Teach her to end a fight. Never start it

There is always two sides of a story ,ask ,listen with empathy ,if she being bullied or a bully ,only then you react ,it’s hard for kids out there in the real world ,all the pressure of being the it kid ,ask talk ,listen with calmness ,:muscle::muscle::muscle::muscle:

Why is she fighting? Why is she angry?

You have to sit.your daughter down find.out what.is.going.on y did she get.into this fight.then take her to the school speak with.priciple

Is she fighting bullies? Is she fighting for someone who can’t fight their own battle? Is she fighting because she’s angry OR is she the bully. Get the info on the fight and then sit down with her when you have options she can follow and you can see a progress reward at the end (nothing big) but something she wants. Kids argue or act out when they don’t get their way …nip it in the bud now or you will have bigger problems down the road.

It depends on the WHY, not the WHAT. Find out WHY she felt that she needed to go to that extreme. If this is not normal behavior for then I would definitely want to get to the bottom of it.

When I was that age, my fights were defending myself from bullies, and because i was a girl I was told to not fight, it wasn’t ladylike, so I got in worse trouble. Until my father found out, taught me how to fight, and told the principal and teachers if they wouldn’t defend me, I could defend myself with his permission. It took a few years but in seventh grade I was jumped and ended up breaking one girl’s wrist and another’s collarbone and I didn’t get beat up much after that. The key is, find out why she’s fighting - sometimes it’s in response to words and bullying and she both needs and deserves protection for herself in addition to different coping skills (including permission from you to defend yourself).

Maybe she’s being bullied herself and stood up for herself The school will punish her exclusion or a few days school suspension

So this really isn’t enough info. What I always told my children is this: Don’t ever throw the first punch. When some one does hit you, you better beat their ass!. I know it sounds crass, but if you won’t defend yourself you are instantly a target for every bully in the school. The public schools say there is a no tolerance policy on bullying. Don’t believe it. I’ve had to take the school to task because my sweet, mild mannered son, who is also autistic, suddenly had a group if hateful assholes bullying him at school. He asked me to please let him handle it himself. So I was so proud he wanted to go that route. He was trying to resolve the issue when one of these boys grabbed his backpack and smashed him into the lockers. Problems with these same boys happened several times. I went to the school, with my son’s blessing to get it handled. Their nonchalant attitude pissed me off. I told them the school board would be contacted by my attorney. Wow , boys suspended, sincere apologies from school ect… I was sorry to have to handle it that way, no one was going to take my son’s love of knowledge and learning away from him. These children with diversified needs don’t need any more obstacles and this situation on the whole is appalling. How many others are being bullied?

More info please. It’s too vague to answer

Well. It depends. Who caused the fight? Who threw the first punch? Her or the other child. Was it self defense? Or was it malicious?

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Depends if she started it or is sticking up for herself.

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well, I’d ask her why…

Need the back story.

Depends on the situation. If she was the aggressor, then consequences would happen. If she was defending herself, then I wouldn’t be mad.

I got suspended for fighting twice in school. In neither case was I the aggressor. My parents actually defended me to the administration and got me transferred to a new school.

If she was being bullied, take her to some boxing lessons. If shes the bully, well…spank ur kids people

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It depends on the details.

We need waaaaay more details than that.

Find an outlet. Something is going on she needs to work oit

Mine know she’s got every right to defend herself. (She did have a bully issue at one point). Defend yourself and I will deal with the aftermath

I’d figure out everything first before punishing. You never know. She may of been defending herself or someone else to a bully

Depends on the situation

Depends on the situation

Who started the fight? Was she being picked on and it was self defense or was she the bully?

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First of all kudos to you for even doing something about it! We need more of you in the world!

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Depends if hes defending himself fine ill ride or die if he started it his butt is getting spanked

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Not a lot you can do apart from finding out why and grade 4 girls lol what type of fighting words or hitting

Let her get it out her system

Depends on who started it. I tell my kids to finish the fight but never to start

  1. Find out what happened

You’re not giving any real info. Is your kid the bully?

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Depending on the situation if she being bullied take her out to her favourite place for sticking up for herself and if she the bully punish her by taking away her favourite things and make her apologize to the other child

Depends on what happened.

I can’t answer this as it’s lacking detail.

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Need more information.

Depends on why, who actually started it

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Well number one get all the info you can. Number two did she start it? Number three if she didn’t start it and somebody else started it did she end it?

I’ve always said that if my daughter was ever put into a situation like bullying and ME as a parent have done all the proper things concerning the school and parents and nothing was done , then my child has EVERY right to defined herself. But if she just gets in a fight because she wants to be a hard a$$ that’s a whole other thing that will not be tolerated. I’d take games and anything that’s no a complete need . All privileges would be gone .

Was she defending herself? If so, defend her.

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Details needed! Self defense, physical, verbal?

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Depends on the cause

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I was the 4th grader getting in fights at school. I’d see if she was being provoked first. I feel if someone is defending themselves it’s different than “fighting”. I’d find this out before Id react in any way

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If she was the instigator, then ground. Take away privileges for a period of time depending on the severity of the fight and make sure the child knows that we need to keep our cool because in the future if fights break out cops are no longer caring so much who antagonized the situation and putting both offending parties in jail. Not all places do that but some do.

So sick of hearing about kids being bullies my daughter is 9 and has some girls being bullies to her physically and dead set im about ready to find there damn parents and lose my shit​:angry: if your child is generally picking on other kids discipline them or i will :woman_shrugging:

Lacking too much detail. Was this self defense? Was she bullied? Did she start the fight? Kids fight, that’s normal but it’s what caused it you need to get to the bottom of. My mother always told me don’t start a fight but if someone hits me, you hit back. If anything I gotten in trouble for staying hit lol. Besides the point though. If she was bullied you need to speak to her, the school and whoever is bullying her. If it was self defense talk to her and try to see what happened but if she initiated the fight you still need to speak to her and perhaps take away privileges

Depends on why they were fighting

If she is sticking up for herself at school rewards her with one of her favorite things. But if she is being the bully take her fun time away and ground her to doing chores

If she was being bullied she has every right to stick up for herself.

If she is the bully you better set her straight before it gets worse.

Depends was she defending herself or u did she start the fight

Depends if she started it or ended it my 5th grade some has a bully the both we and the school are aware of if my child is defending themselves then I will be both proud and sad but not punish but if they started it then we have to get to why they are so angry also there will be a lockdown of sorts

Who swung first, why did this fight happen and who got the worst of it. My mama always said dont start the fight but finish it. So if ur daughter was defending herself u reward her if not then she need to be punished.

Well it depends on my book.
Is she the bully or bullied?
Did she start it by harassing a kid or was it an act of self defense.
If its the first one you should have a very serious talk with your daughter. If its the second one I’d be proud that she defended herself because schools and cops nowadays dont do shit.