I’m in the same boat it’s been 4 years and we have a 3 year old daughter and another on the way and when my bf ex found out we were having a child that’s when shit hit the ceiling I ignore it she can be petty all she wants she left him she didnt want him so it’s no ones fault but her own get over it 
Well first off she is an ex so she should not be attending his family functions nor he attend hers so stand tall and be proud she is just upset that you get treated with respect and her children love you and if you need to have surgery for health reasons that is your business not hers and let her go around a talk smack you don’t need to validate yourself to know one the family only agree with her because they want to see the children tell her to grow up and you keep praying for her you got this momma
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Do not allow this person to rent space in your mind. She has no authority over your life. Hopefully your husband will speak up to her on your behalf because those comments are not kind.
Block her and only let your husband deal with her pertaining the kids only. Everything else isn’t her business
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DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. In case needed for court how she keeps the kids ECT.
Yes document everything ! And sit down and have. Serious talk with your husband and let him know this is not ok and he needs to sit with you and the ex in mutual respectful setting and resolve this issue and tell her she need to not use the kids in this manner it’s only gonna hurt the kids! And her being jealous is ridiculous, they’re not togather so she has no say! And she needs to get over it!
It’s not uncommon for women to be shrews to one another but her making an effort to make you miserable obviously sais something about her as a person in general. Many mothers my self included know that by not putting your health first you may not be there in the future for your child. I had ovarian cancer after my third child and had the ovary removed it didn’t work so I I had I full hysterectomy. My kids are 23, 19 and 15. Selfish is not what you are Honey! It sound like you tolerate a lot and that’s stressful too! The Ex and that’s precisely what she is hasn’t moved on. As long as your SO is paying his child support and follows his court order she can’t keep the children from him or demand more money. In that case she is in contempt of the court order and if your SO wants to be nasty he could Sue for custody on grounds that the EX isn’t stable , her behavior is interfering with the welfare and safety of all said children in the court order. As far as the children being disrespectful redirect the behavior when they are at your house and make sure they know that’s not how children behave at your house and let your SO discipline the kids.make sure you tell your So how the situation makes you feel. As far as Family events she is no longer family and only the kids should attend family functions. Eventually and I am saying this loosely the EX will lose interest and move on if not Honey get a restraining order.
Dont let her know your personal business, about your health…
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I’m baffled as to why your SO isn’t putting a stop to it? If he pays child support he has his rights already placed, someone other than you should be telling her to act like a civilized grown woman or, their will be consequences. No one needs or should tolerate any sort of mess like that. Especially when kids are involved.
Why is she still attending family functions?? Thats up to your SO to stop that right now! It woukd ve different if she was civil, but she’s not. As far as diciplining the kids, just leave that up to their father. If they back talk, tell him about it, because i have a feeling if you do, it will blow up! At the same time,.make sure his kids onow that you are always their for them. All the other crap, who cares what her opinion is. Or, maybe you can try and have a sit down with her and lay it all out on the table. I wish you luck.
He needs to be the one to put his foot down. He has to tell his family that if the Ex is invited, then you all will not come. He needs to get a tight court ordered visitation schedule and he needs to stick to it. There should only be communication via text and only about the kids. She salty
I’m not understanding why you feel the need to step in and correct her. Step back and let him handle that. Stay out of that. You luv and respect the kids that’s all you owe your time to besides your husband.
All good advice up above! Go to the family gatherings because it’s now YOUR family! Even visit when she’s not there. Don’t let her bait you into an argument at any time! Be graceful and funny and loving! Be patient with the kids and show them what a loving mother is! That will be a huge challenge but YOU GOT THIS Gurl!! And you & your husband need to have a heart to heart! If he’s not willing to stand up for you then that is going to keep HER going! He’s gotta show his love and respect for you and y’alls family now! Good luck and God bless luv! 
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Hunny just keep your head up. You not going Is going to make you look guilty they’re your family now too! Standing up for yourself is the best thing you can do. And no you’re not being selfish for getting a surgery that can eventually save your life if you were to have complications in another pregnancy. Your son won’t take anything away from the other kids nor will your man leave you because of this surgery. If he loves you he loves you.
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Honestly, you have to do what is best for you in regards to a hysterectomy. It’s your health and choice, she has no say. I wouldnt let that bother you in the least bit. All you can do is tell the kids that you do love them, you didnt try and replace them with having your own. Show them the same love and respect you do your own child. If she is his ex wife she shouldn’t be meddling in the life of her now ex family. They’re divorced for a reason. Unless they are as childish as she is, they should see that. If there is a legal decision in regards to custody she cant keep the kids away at her “convenience”. The same goes for child support. If there isnt anything legal for custody or child support, I would strongly recommend that happen asap.
Keep your head up, people degrade people because they’re unhappy with themselves and shes apparently extremely jealous of you and what you have now.
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Yes do what you have to do to stay healthy. Ignore her jabs and smile and be happy she sounds miserable and bitter so she will try to tear you down. First off it’s none of her business what you do with your life she is an ex and by all means I would have a sit-down talk with my significant other and tell him he only needs to be in her life that pertains to their children other than that she should know nothing about your life except that you’re a happy woman with a new baby
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I would let her know that while I will always treat he children as part of your own family, she is not welcome in your life. Tell her that her opinions about your life may be important to her, but they aren’t important to you. I would also remind her that he may love you in a different and more lasting way than he did her, and however your relationship ends up with him will still be none of her business. When she speaks up again, ask her, “Did I invite your opinion? No? Then F off!”
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She is jus that, an EX. And it sounds like the kids are actually kids and not babies so she has no business being at family functions and if she is then she needs to act grown. Your SO needs to just tell her, you are here for the stay, and she is just going to have to get use to it. Another thing is, your personal life is nothing to her. And she should be thankful that he has someone willing to except him and his kids.
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Why is his ex wife going to his family events? If it’s because his family likes/invites her… Go! And go with grace!! Kill them all with kindness, if she rolls her eyes- call her out politely and ask what was so offensive ? Don’t give his family the chance to hate you (she’s not coming because she doesn’t like us etc…) befriend his family - on your time - go for coffee or just to visit with your son… hopefully they get to know u, and forget her
Railene Perkins, you win. This is his issue to protect you. Set boundaries with family, ex-wife, or a stranger in the street. Men naturally protect. This is not your battle, it’s his. Yes you may need to communicate with him, your standards. And don’t back down. I would not even respect a man that allowed me to be miserable and bullied by his family.
Actions speak louder than words. Love the children and they will come around.
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I think you should assert yourself and kindly tell her to mind her own damn business…
If you have to have surgery do it and when you are better cuss the ex out and tell her to stop talking shit about you.
Your SO should be the one putting her in her place and telling her to mind her own business.
Why isn’t your SO defending you?
Your husband needs to stand up for you and set boundaries with his ex.
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If the baby was healthy we were keeping it? 
Ignore her you take care of your family you don’t need her she just wants to hurt you don’t let her
What does she still go to his family gatherings?
I went through this hell and more oh god, such a terrible bitch she was. I say stand your ground and be the best step parent you can possibly be. The kids will see her tricks when they are older and you will have a wonderful adult relationship with them. It will be worth it.
If it was me first off are Kelly’s ex-wife to go fuc herself. And then I would tell my significant other if he thought I treated his children bad then why does he bring them to our house. And I would treat his children just like I would treat my own if they need a discipline they would get discipline. And apparently from what I understand you guys are not married so you have full custody of your child. I would tell my significant other that if he didn’t straighten out his ex you will leave with your child. She’s just butthurt he had another kid with you