I’m going to tell you this right now you do not want to completely cut him out of your child’s life you can allow video chats or phone calls or supervised visits that you can get ordered through the court but do not cut his dad out of his life completely as a child that’s father abandoned her when I was growing up it wi effect him for the rest of his life and trust me if you are the one that kept his father away your child will blame you and then you will have a bad relationship with your child my brother’s kids moved about the same distance away and the court ordered them to meet in a central location so my brother has to drive 3 hours to the meeting point in 3 hours back home it’s about the exact same distance as you’re saying they move my brother did not move she did but they have to meet a Central State that’s also an option for you
No way. Don’t t let him out of state unless ordered. If he wants to have a relationship with his son he needs to come see him at your house.
I wouldn’t even be conversing with him. As soon as he said he wanted to give up his rights…that would be the last day we spoke.
Nope leave that man right where he’s at. Move on with your life, you and your son. Don’t need to add any more stress to your life with the back and forth. He signed his rights away!
No way would I let your kid go
He would come to my child…
Why are u even asking this …he clearly gave up all rights long ago b4 a judge cause he was stressed. If he can choose to jump ship cause he is stressed…yr right…having this man in yr child’s life is unhealthy n unstable. Yr child deserves better than that even if it means doing without…but u are his voice so good luck…but I definitely would not!!
I could never imagine letting my 3 yo go states away from me for that long let alone just so he can be with someone who left and abandoned him. I wouldn’t allow it, he will be taking precious time you could be having with your child that YOU have raised on your own basically while his dad can go live a care free life it sounds like to me.
I wouldn’t! He is a stranger to your 3 year old! Would you send him to stay with a stranger 6 hours away? He needs to gradually get to know him-if he wants that-FaceTime etc.
So, similar situation. Bottom line your child bio dad has no relationship with the child. 1. A relationship needs to be built- theres a thing called facetime. You have to think of what is best for the child, that will not create trauma, right now bio dad is nowhere to be seen and for him to ask to put a kid through that it isn’t fair to the child to live in 2 different households weeks at a time to benefit daddy. Thats my opinion.
If you so easily give up your rights you’re going to have to work a lot harder to be able to see your kid. I would absolutely not send him 12 hours away. Nope not going to happen
Absolutely NOT. Id tell him he is more than welcome to come visit your son but he’s not going 6 hours away.
Nope just keep doing want u are doing I’d say you caint vist or have the child at all he give that up wen he give u full custody and he is not stamble to have the child so no I would not he might have something up his Slev and u doint know about it it can go wrong fast if u do
Leave his ass in Arizona your child does not need a father like that. He gave up his rights when he asked that from court
Nope. I wouldn’t let him go in a million years. You’re ex gave up his rights and now he wants to make the rules? NOPE. If you are wanting him to see his dad, tel dad he can come to you for a day visit every so often.
Is it even a question ? Continue being that full tome dependable and loving mama to that baby and screw him,you don’t owe the bastard a thing when he CHOSE to give his rights up and not want nothing to do with your boy.
I think you already have your answer. Remember to always document EVERYTHING for court purposes, even the small stuff. It sounds like this is going to be a continued problem. I would focus on your son and you. Keep the 
custody as is. If the ex comes and visits then that is one thing but I would in NO WAY agree to send him away for a visit.
Yikes i wouldn’t even consider this. He signed is rights away. Cut all contact
Go back to court. Ask for monthly weekend supervised visits in california (start off small cuz it can be costly to go back and fourth do often) once he shows that effort for a good while maybe switch it to monthly but one month you take him to AZ one month he comes to California. Once that’s established and consistent I’d consider maybe un supervised visits monthly for a weekend but still alternating that way they have alone time but you are ALWAYS close by and if that’s consistent maybe consider allowing an unsupervised overnight in the mix just to see how that goes before maybe once a month he spends a weekend at his dad’s 
This give him the opportunity to PROVE he is serious about being a father to son and doesn’t display any instability toward your son as you should not be discussing court proceeding with a 3 yr old or any child anyways, it stays between y’all and the courts therefore protecting the child… And he doesn’t have to live in CA to be one. Plenty of split families have parents who live in different states. Maybe this new gf is a good influence on him and making him see where he’s wrong if he’s not serious it will show in the courts and mediation at his inability to sacrifice anything to see his son in which then obviously he won’t get his son then.
Not a chance I would send my 3 year old under those conditions. At this point the man is a dad in biology only. The kiddo has no idea who he is.
100% cut off contact. He’s proven twice now, women come before his child and what’s best for himself is the way he is gonna go every time and this third chance will be no different. Just cut him off and make a better life for you and your son!
That’s a big NO… He left he needs to make the time and effort in california
I would tell him he has to come to the child and start a relationship with him. Taking the child to stay with a STRANGER for weeks at a time will traumatize him
Dont. He gave up all of his rights. That means he didnt want his kid. Why would you send a kid he dont want to stay with him?? NO MAAM
Absolutely not! I wouldn’t even consider it. Crossing state lines it’s hard when it’s a custody thing. Protect the child and get another custody order with finer print
Sad situation and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. As a single mom we can work our asses off and give our child almost everything. The one thing we can’t give them is a dad who cares and will share in the joy that is our child like we do. It’s heartbreaking and I know all about it. I’m sorry you and your child don’t get the benefit of a fully participating dad because you deserve it. Your child deserves it.
no way men like him r always lead by that part of their body and while that happens ur son will b 2nd best he deserves to b number 1 and he is with u
He needs to workup to that. Start with facetiming. ( it will only be a few minutes, as kids get distracted) but its a start. And then he can come to you, and see him. He is basically a stranger, untill you feel comfortable with it. And you child is comfortable, I wouldn’t be sending him anywhere
Uh… sounds like you already know the answer, but want validation.
Is this real? Of course dont send your child there! He wants to see the child then he makes the effort. If not his loss
A very big…big…big no. Be the full time parent!
I didnt start letting my son go out of state to spend days/weeks with his bio until this past Thanksgiving and he is 9 and mature enough that he knows if mom isnt gonna like something that’s going on
Absolutely not!!! My daughter is 12 and when her dad “who recently come back in her life” wanted one on one time I refused! If he was too stressed to be a dad in the beginning what is to say dealing w a 3 yr old he abandoned won’t be too stressful.
As soon as he gave up the rights to his child, I would never have spoken to him again. We were in court for a reason, and he just threw his hands up and left.
We’re good.
I just want to say all you women who refuse to let the father of your child have anything to do with your child will regret it. Your bitterness is only hurting your child. My mom did that to me and when I found out at 16 yrs old I hated my mom for a long time. My dad was not always around but I would do anything to have that time with him. I would never keep my kids from their father unless he was physically or mentally harming them… But never just because he wasn’t the father I thought he should be. My dad and I have a great relationship now and yes I forgave my mom but it still hurts to think about all the time I missed out on.
he walked away cut him off . and i would not send child out to him especially un supervised
Somebody once told me “is not your responsibility his relationship with his kid, it is your responsibility take care of your kid and love her no matter what. Make sure she es in a safety place, find peace in you”
I think this advice may work for you.
Your priority always have to be your son, your ex life isn’t your responsibility. If he isn’t a good parent protect your child.
No way in hell!!! And how is this even a consideration?
Nope. I wouldn’t cut him off but it would be more sore you’re welcome to come to where we live and see him for the day but he is not welcome to leave that town without prior permission from you.
No. He moved. He made that choice. If you have full custody he can’t force you to do this. If he goes to court he may be able to get a few weeks in the summer but likely his expense for transportation. But since he’s shown relatively little stability from giving up his legal custody rights to moving out of state, I don’t think that any court would believe that he’s a stable influence
I wouldn’t send your child there. Offer to him that he can come visit once a month or however much he can, build a relationship with your child, and then you can discuss your son going to AZ for a week (I wouldn’t do more the first time). If he says he doesn’t have the money 
oh well. He’s the one that left. It’s not your responsibility to make sure he’s a good parent. He needs to make the effort. Not expect you to meet halfway when he hasn’t seen your child in…at least a year I would assume? He could FaceTime. He could have least visited once.
HELL to The NO not now not EVER send my son to someone he don’t know. And you don’t even know know
I would absolutely not let my ex take my kid if that was my situation. He abandoned him, he left… peekaboo parents are worse than absent parents. Cut all ties and tell him not to contact you again.
No! My son is 13 and his dad only wanted time with him when he didn’t have a girlfriend. He has seen him 4 times in his life and it was for a day. It is better to keep him gone than to let the child be hurt over and over again by daddy not always being around or on the phone. Your child’s father gave his rights up! This is a child! Not something to his convenience!
Hell no way he chose woman first over his child. I personally wouldn’t let him see the child
Umm HELL NO OMG. NO way
He has no rights. Hell no. He no longer is a dad. He is just a sperm donor
You have full custody and you don’t need to give up any of your time. Sounds like it’s been a hot minute since he’s seen his son. He can come to you and stay in town for a weekend for some supervised visits if he really wants time. I would not send my child out of state especially when I’m weary of his parenting. Kids at that age need stability and a routine. Going to see a stranger for a couple weeks whenever his dad feels like being a dad is a big fat no go.
If he wants to see his son, he can make the effort to come visit him. Always supervise those visits. He may have an ulterior motive for all of a sudden wanting to see him. Unfortunately, I doubt he’ll show up…
No! He left, he made the choice. Way to unstable!
Girl please you know in your heart what’s best for your child kick him to the nearest trash 
can you let go or are you still wanting contact with him? Sorry but it does sound like you still want him not your son he’s to young to even know what’s going on plus why would you even consider it SMH 
Nope. He made his choice. Not a chance would I agree to that. Especially when youve already got established custody.
Oh no, he could easily run with your child and disappear. I would never!
No. Move on. Don’t look back. Period.
Hell no an tell him to go straight to hell
Document everything & keep your full custody. Don’t change your life or the babies to accommodate an unstable man.
Weigh the pros and cons. How much child support does he pay ? How many birthday cards , phone calls , Christmas gifts , what has he provided for his child ?? Full custody and full support are 2 different things . Does he contribute anything ??? There’s your answer ! Avoid him at all cost and move on with your life !!
He gave up his rights you have to do nothing you don’t want to an if he wants to be a part of your child life again tell him to go to court don’t stress
Never let your child cross state lines unless you have a WRITTEN return date. Period. Courts will not force return of the kiddo unless you have that!!!Experience speaking here.
I would tell your ex that you would be willing to take a vacation and stay in a hotel
For a few days so that he can see his son. Do this conversation through text message, if need be it is able to be printed out and held up in court. Be willing to do drop offs at parks or things like that. Your son will appreciate your efforts. Even at his age he will remember the effort you put in. But I’m sorry to tell you, sounds like your son will have an on and off relationship with his dad. As long as his relationship with you is strong. That’s ok. My boys are 19 and 15. And they see their dad maybe three times a year. He has every other weekend visits set up by the courts. But is a dead beat and his priorities are elsewhere. They hold it in their heart that the next time will
be for real. But their brains tell
Them different. Never ever talk poorly of your child’s dad. No matter how hard it is. They will naturally become defensive, even if it’s not deserved. My boys have made their own decision about what they want. And I have never had to tell them. It is so painful the first time he doesn’t show up for pickup. And even more painful when the kids come to the realization that it just isn’t important to him. As long as your kiddo knows it’s important to you, and that you made the effort, they will not blame you.
After a while my boys stopped answering the phone other than to say “I’m busy fishing with my moms fiancée” or “not today” or just plain “I don’t want to”. Trust that your boy will make his own mind up. But if you drive a nail into it, your boy will defend him, the same as he would defend you. Good luck
He no longer has rights. Don’t send your son to him! Once he’s there, his dad could file for emergency custody in that state and never send him back.
If he wants to see his son he’ll book a motel room for a weekend and come to visit at your house until your son is old enough to choose if he wants to go stay with his dad over the summer
He gave up his rights. I wouldn’t even entertain the thought anymore.
OH GIRL. No. No thank you. HELLLL No. I would never.
I just went through a “custody battle.” And my littles were definitely affected by the change of routine, two households, and so many things. Their dad and I live within 40 min of each other. I don’t want to bash their dad, but he is unstable and has some issues to say the least.
If you end up allowing him to see your son, it could spiral from there. He could want your son for weeks at a time. He could petition to the court for 50/50 custody. He could take him and not return him. I could go on. There are benefits and drawbacks to both sides. Given what you’ve said about him WILLINGLY giving up his rights in the beginning, the fact that he’s states away, he’s unstable, and chooses women he’s just met over your son, I would say absolutely no. I would fight that. Furthermore, if you do allow it, and he remains unstable it will confuse/hurt/etc your son because his dad comes & goes. Parents that come & go frequently or here & there are worse than a child just not seeing them at all in my opinion.
Id allow him to come to you and see his son supervised first and see how serious he is first about being in your sons life. id say doing that for at least a year on some type of set schedule once a month or whatever. Before you even considered allowing him to have him out of state especially since he sounds like a complete stranger to the child. Plus you need something in writing so he would’nt be able to just keep him. On another note in my opinion your child’s 3 already so its probably just talk anyways and id personally just wait until your child is old enough to decide if he wants to do the out of state visits. since u already have full custody you would be able to just offer the visitation where he has to come to you and wait until your sons old enough to tell you if he wants more time with his dad or not.
Simple answer…nope
More than anything, TRUST YOUR GUT!! I recommended starting slow. Start with FaceTime, and if he can commit to that than move up to visits, and so on. He needs to prove himself, and most people take years to truly change. Some people even get worse, sadly.
I might allow him to pay for you to bring your son , stay in a nice room and escort your young child to get to know his father. I would do my best to pay what I could of my way but its really on him .
Nope continue to donwhat you’re doing. You know your child and its not a good to put your child in an unstable situation.
Yea heck no, if he wants to see your son make him go back to court
Fuck no don’t let him go. I understand a break would be nice but it isn’t worth it. Keep doing you mama keep your son safe and with you where you know he is number one priority.
Absolutely not. If his life is so unstable, and he already puts other women before his child he won’t magically be a good father. Also, out of state? 6 hour drive each way? Meaning any accident you’d be that far away? Wtf you even thinking about it. Do you even know this new gf? With everything in the news rn with ppl treating kids awful I would never want to just send my child to uncertainty.
Cut him off…he gave up his rights…when he’s grown he can choose to have a relationship with his dad if he wants to.
Why would you even consider this, he gave up all rights ! Are you 
Why do you even have contact with this man? Move on and keep YOUR son close!! He’s a Narcissist and putting his own needs ahead of YOUR sons needs!! Who the heck wants that in their life?? I’m thinking nobody!!
No, stop talking with him- cut it off now
Seriously stop talking to this loser. Go on with your life. More important take care of your son!!!
Do not allow a person who puts someone else before your child in your life! Even if that person is related!
Keep that baby safe.
If he gave up his rights its simple he doesn’t have right to the child period. But if he didn’t then he can take it to court and they would likely give him something
Yeah…fuck him.
Move on and let him be a loser on his own. Your son is better off.
He can come see him supervised. Point. Blank. Period.
I wouldn’t even entertain a call from him. He abandoned his kid. Keep him away from your son. I’ll bet his girlfriend wants to play mommy & this is the only reason he’s asking. I’d bet he would just abandon his son again. Tell ex he can go back to court (and pay a lawyer) if he wants to change things. If you have his medical info, cut ties & treat ex as though he is dead.
No!!! If your child is already showing behavioural issues then it’s affecting him. I would say no till he’s older and can tell you what’s going on…even then I would be iffy as he is not his dads priority. I have been through this and the child’s mental health cones first! Good luck!
Please don’t even think about it.
I wouldn’t!! Keep your baby right there with you!!
Wow, I hope you make the right decision. Your son deserves so much better.
He gave up all rights stop talking a to him until your son is old enough to make the decision for himself. Period.
He gave up rights. Cut him off, block him on everything and go on with your lives.
Don’t mind him anymore . Pretend that he’s already dead since he abandoned your child. Period.
If you have full custody … definitely not. I say cut him off
He decided along time ago. Do not put your kids through that.
No don’t send your son. But I’d ask dad to come out to see his son with you present, and create a schedule of phone and video calls, and visits where he comes out to you, so he can demonstrate a consistent commitment of building a relationship with his son. Reassess after 6-12 mths.
Nah uhh no way no how would I be sending my 3 year old that far … I do split custody we live 45 minutes apart its really stressful for the kids and we’re close enough we can switch up the schedule for them … don’t do it momma …
If he gave up all rights to the child why are you still in contact with him? How do you know all of what you know about him and girlfriends? If he did give up all rights why are you still questioning if he should have visitation? Hmmm… if he doesn’t have any rights as you say he is not entitled to nothing considering the child. So honestly I’m confused, because this really doesn’t make any sense.
Im honestly confused by this aswell…please don’t take this the wrong way but if he was happy to give up all rights and you was happy to keep all the rights and daily responsibilities of raising your son alone is the question in regards to him being able to come see your son more for your son or is it more for you wanting to see your ex and spend some time with him aswell.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Supervised ONLY if you’re feeling generous. Omg my heart goes out to you.
nope. he doesn’t get to have his cake and eat it too, and you’re being too nice to him. like seriously, stop. for the well-being of you and your son. cut this guy off and move on with your life, he’s as good as dead to you both.
Just cut him off.
Don’t send your kid.
You know this already.
You just needed someone else to confirm your decision.
If the dad wanted to be a dad, he’d be with his son. End of story
Cut him off please!!!
Do what’s best for your son him being in a car that long and for weeks at a time being away from you is unhealthy you have full custody don’t put your kid through that your sons dad made his choice a long time ago time he deals with the consequences of his actions