How should I handle this situation with my child's father and step mother?

Oh I would just be taking my child home. You don’t know what they are telling her, sounds to me like they are trying to make you out to your child as a danger to her. Who the f does that step mum think she is… remove her from her custody. Simple.

This is a very vague question to ask when no one knows the whole story. It can been seen either way that your daughter is with them for something that may of happened while she was with you and the step mom is just being protective of her or that the step mom is trying to push you away which is horrible and needs to be dealt with but without a proper explanation it’s hard to give you the right answer but maybe you can get a lawyer or something to help you and have a meeting for you and dad to arrange a better agreement really hope all goes well for you and you find the solution you need to be there for your daughter :heart:

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refuse to talk with the stepmother

Tell them that when your daughter visits you that the cell phone given to her is not to be with her when she spends quality time with you. The cell phone can stay with the stepmother and your daughter is not to bring it with her when she is with you.

Talk to them about it (nicely) maybe even over group text (don’t include your daughter) so that you have proof. If they refuse or things don’t change, absolutely take it back to court. And maybe talk to your daughter and see why stepmom says she has to be on speakerphone. I get that for little kids or those who have an abusive parent, but not for one as old as yours.

My son’s father and I are divorced and he had a stepmom a few years ago, and I’m dating someone with two lovely little boys that I call my new bonus kids. This would never fly in either situation.

Sounds to me like the beginnings of a “parental alienation” issue. Try to remain calm and rational and seek legal help to find out exactly what your rights as a parent are. I watched a friend of mine go through pure hell because of the father of he children and his new wife.

I would look into the law in your area and what your court agreement says. Mine very explicitly says that one parent cannot monitor or withhold communication between the other parent and child.

I work on getting her back, you don’t want unhealthy behaviors from her step mom to rub off.

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I absolutely would!!

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U and your ex hubby need family mediation with out his controlling wife. It is your child if u can’t come up help there

You have your right too

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100% you have that right

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Be careful, I dont know where you are located but there could be legal issues involved, starting with them interrupting communication. Where I am it is considered contempt of the court order to monitor and or withhold communication between parent and child. I know the struggle but be cautious to protect your character, you don’t want to look like the other party in front of a judge. Double check your original parental agreement and see if it states anything about communication or look up your state statutes regarding child custody and communication. Good luck to you mama you will get through :blush:

There’s more to this than meets the eye I say. Are you paying support?

When you say ‘we reworked our custody agreement,’ who does that include? How often do you get her now? Why did your daughter decide that she wanted to move to her dad’s house? Was your child in an unsafe environment at your house or something to that effect? Did you do something to lose their trust causing them to act the way they are when she’s with you or talks to you? There is so much information missing so it’s really hard to give you a good answer. Only thing I can say is that your child’s father should be the one who talks to you about these things, not her stepmom, but everything else I can’t say who’s right and wrong without more information.

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Absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe you need to rework your agreement again. But this all depends on age of said child. Is it joint custody with you getting visitation and they have physical custody? Honestly I’m not sure what can be done. Technically they are allowing you to speak with her, and they pay her phone so their rules on that. A judge may not have much to tell you

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I feel it’s only fair to mirror their roles for how you communicate w/ her while she’s in their physical custody with how you allow them to do the same when she’s in your physical custody. Maybe they’ll see the ridiculousness of it.

Clearly the stepmom has some problems and needs to work on them and stay in her place, she’s a stepmom and I’m glad she is caring for your child as her own but she has to remember YOU birthed her, cause she’s acting like it’s the other way around and that you are the stepmom :woman_facepalming: I’d be so annoyed.

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You don’t have to allow a cellphone in your home. You can either have her give it to them or you can shut it off/ put it up until your parenting time is over. Been there, done that, although bm sent a phone to spy. But when she tried to throw a fit about it she was told that we didn’t have to allow a cellphone especially since it was an invasion of our privacy.

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Wow, no way. Your child, not hers. I would not stand for it.

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Im not sure why the step mom feels she has a right to monitor or limit your contact that seems controlling innapropriate and an not at all supporting of your relationship . Im confused unless you lost custody due to unhealthy or dangerous things why would they feel a need to do this. I woulf extremly concerned about this. What does your daughter feel about this .

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Sounds to me like you should have a mediator someone who is a neutral part such as Guardian Ad Lidem, come an air down with all of you, including your child, and find out what the real problems are. They will then be able to advise a judge on who they feel your daughter is best suited to start with. Also, depending on the age of the child, she could tell the judge who she wants to live with. That’s if you want to take them to court over custody. I do want to also state that it sounds like all of the adults in the situation need to act as such and sit down and find out what the root of the problem is and try to come to a fair resolution for all parties. To further add, you could buy her a phone, which she can use to talk to you without having to go through the other parents, and if you don’t take their phone away from her when she is over, they can’t take your phone away from her when she is there. But this is just my two cents.

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Step mom has serious issues. I’d go back to court or mediation about that! This is the nicest response I can come up with. Good luck with that heiffer girl!

A few things missing here,

  1. Daughters age
  2. What type of arrangement, weekends only or during the week, once monthly or weekly
  3. Has there been a legal person to oversee both residences, I.e. Guardian Ad Litem.
  4. FB is not the place to air these issues. Seek professional assistance
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So is your child interested in coming back home? Because I’d seriously go get my child. That’s too much.

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Why haven’t you punched this woman yet? You gave birth to that girl not her.

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Not being allowed to text u is crazy. I can understand the rest. How old is she?

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That is wrong. Sound like step mom has a problem with mom. Its your time with your child stepmother should be interfering in that. Why doesn’t you ex step up. She sounds controlling

Whoa. I’d revisit the custody agreement if I was you. As a step mother myself. I’d never across this line between her children and thier relationship. I can’t imagine. Im so sorry. And, taking theb phone away to talk with them sounds reasonable since he’s not communicating with you and might be only way to get thier attention?

I kinda wish I had a better advice to share

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I’d buy her another phone so they’re not able to take it away.

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I am sorry to hear this. I would attempt to have a conversation with ex. after that bets are off sorry my time is my time

Yeah it should not be one sided like that

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I personally would be checking with a lawyer…

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Maybe they are trying to limit the drama…are you venting to your daughter about them? I’d definitely do the same thing…give them her phone when she comes to your house as well…I mean seriously…I myself would try my best to get along with them but if you haven’t done anything for them to be this way then you need to put a stop to all of that…your daughter could be causing drama herself and lying. Idk…so many scenarios of coulds…prayers lifted for you and God bless

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I would definitely do what you said or… I’d buy her another phone so she could contact me! Lol!

It sounds. like. something. is going. on that they don’t. Want your. Kid to talk about so they monitor. Or maybe the step mom is gelose of you

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I don’t think that sounds like a bad idea. They can still reach her. through YOUR phone, the same way they wanna do you.

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Step mother has lost her mind. That is your child. I’m wondering why is she so “ protective” that way and restricts her relationship with you. Is there more to the story? Why is your daughter living with her dad

Check with a lawyer before her next visit. Don’t use the one who handled the divorce or the changes that u made. Do u have a copy of your divorce paper and the changes. Take them with you.

I think there is alot more going on then just the cell phone. All sides need to get some parenting classes. You are all hurting this child by putting her in the middle of adult situations. Some would say it’s abuse. Just sayin’…

As a step mom, if you are my child,(don’t care biological or not), I will treat you kids all the same!!! My house, my rules!!! Peace!!!

Sounds as if new wife wears husbands balls as earrings.