To the mamas who have problems with their in-laws, what’s your opinion? So quick background, I don’t get along with my MIL and stopped going to family functions about two years ago because of how she would ignore my son and her only interactions with him would be to tell him to “quit being a baby” “I don’t want nothing to do with him. All he does is cry”(he was a newborn-a year at this time). My husband is completely okay with my son and me not going to family functions of his anymore. Anyways, we’re pregnant with our second and had a gender reveal party. I told my husband that he is more than welcome to invite his mom because I understand that’s still his mom & siblings. He didn’t want to, but I insisted because he wasn’t going to have anyone there from his side of his friends or family. I told him that I want him to have his family support and love. So he did. We had the party at my parent’s house & his mom and siblings were incredibly rude to my parents and brother when they greeted them. They refused to shake my family’s hands and eat any of the food. Then at the end of the party, his mom has this loud meltdown where she starts crying in front of everyone so loud, like minutes after we had the gender reveal because my husband had our son go say hi to her. I ignored her as well as all my friends and family. I get on FB that night, and I see she’s saying horrible things about my family and me, like how we don’t care about, and we were so heartless. She was calling me a spoiled bitch, and this and that. I showed my husband, and he said he would talk to her and still hasn’t. It’s been three weeks. What would you do?
Your husband needs to put her in her place
My mother in law is sweet glad I dont have to deal with that
Just leave her out as much as you can. Especially if your hubby doesnt want to invite her. Distance yourself as much as you can.
I would make my man handle his mother and defend my honor. Shittt your his wife!!! Your mil sounds like a narcissist who doesn’t deserve the love of your kids
Lol my own mil wont even ask how the pregnancy is going. She says a phone works both ways
Cut all ties with them,and tell your husband he needs to stand up for you
He definitely needs to handle her. That’s not right of her to be like that towards you and your child. She sounds like a hateful, old bitch. I would definitely delete her out of mine and my child’s life. She is toxic.
Cut the ties… it is likely not going to get any better and your children don’t deserve that. Spoken from experience!
You need a meeting with her ? What the h&&&
You keep doing what you are. Your husband needs to be the one to step up for y’all or tell them adios.
Put her in her place and cut ties. The end.
Punch her out. And then never speak to her again she sounds like a dramatic bitch.
Let it go. She doesn’t pay your bills or lick your twat.
You’re always gonna be the villain in someone’s story
Fuck em
Cut em out & don’t reach out again
I think you were sweet to try to include them after everything, that says a lot about your character. And what they did shows theirs. Sometimes its ok to feel bad to cut people off…this is not one of those times. He shouldve said something, especially after he said he would, but what can you do about it ya know? No need to add to the mess by being mad at him for it. But you have every right to not do anything with them or for them ever again.
Your husband needs to put her in her place. I would completely cut her off and that includes with the new baby once he/she gets here.
A man that let’s anyone disrespect his family like that isn’t a real man. When you become married THAT family is the one that is prioritized. All family is important but if they can’t love your children they don’t love you.
Wipe your hands, you tried twice. You know shes not gonna change so just dont involve her. Next time dont insist, let it be. It is what it is
I would tell her she’s never welcome near myself or my children again, nor is she welcome near my home or any of my families homes.
Easy peasy block his family on social media. All of them and never go back. Done. You can tell your husband he can have a relationship with them but you and the children are done like dinner.
what the fuuuu- definitely stay away from them! I’m thankful to have in laws that care about my kids and me, I couldn’t handle that type of stress! It would make me cut ties completely. It sounds like she just doesn’t like you and her spite is flowing towards your kids and your family. so petty.
Maybe more space and distance if hubby doesn’t want to be involved. I am a firm believer in trying to push for healthy interaction. Communication is key. If you and her can’t communicate than there won’t be a “family”.
Forget about them. Do not feed into her narcissistic drama. You guys can be happy for you. Even if at events like this it seems like your husband doesn’t have anyone on his side you are on his side.
She needs a pat on the head with a bat.
Or a hug around the neck with a rope!
Seriously though…I think your husband will just be done with them. He knows that they will not listen. So he probably thinks why speak up. If they are this way with you then they are this way with others.
Also her Facebook post calling you names says way more about her than it says about you. And people get that when they see those
Posts.
Hug your husband because as much as this hurts you it is killing him inside
I wouldnt consider her family. Cut off and live happily ever after… Shes a twerp
Oh I would have done told her off by now. F making him do it even though he should. U have every right to defend urself and ur kids.
Also maybe it’s time to clean up the poop from the local dog park and since she likes to dump shot on people
Maybe leave her a package of poop!
I would have put her in her place already. You shouldn’t have to put up with her bs. I would avoid her as much as possible. Leave her out of all family gatherings. Good luck with everything. You don’t need to go through that, while being pregnant.
I would cut ties and set my husband straight!!! If it were your family you would do it for him!!??!!
Block… me and my fiance dont have nothing to do with his family…
Yeah, that would be the end of any interaction with his side, period. The kids can connect when they are 18+.
Oh wow! Bless it. I’d just let it be and not even invite her to anything.
Cut them off and block them
Call the bitch out, I wouldn’t ever, ever go back you tried! Sounds like to me she’s a drama queen! She needs to grow up!
I don’t have this issue with my MIL. But my dad’s wife had a stomp out at my gender reveal last year and then showed herself at Christmas when I was 24 weeks pregnant. I haven’t had anything to do with her since and have also stopped speaking with my dad who made the choice to only see my son once in the 7 months he’s been alive. I’d cut them out of your life completely and be done with it. Move on and be happy.
Say fuck her and keep moving
Block delete be done with her.
Take the high road and ignor them totally your life much better
She’s jealous! You and your children are your husband’s priority! Dont invite them to anything else!
FUCK that bitch. Sorry but you gave her chances and she acts like that?!
Your fault, your husband didn’t want them there, you should have listened, cut them out of your life, they’re toxic.
Shut her completely out! Also your husband didnt want them at the party, so don’t get mad that he hasn’t talked to her yet. I wouldn’t want him to, what good will it do? Just don’t let them be involved!
I was blessed with a wonderful MIL. If I was in this situation, I would let her do her own thing & I would do mine. Don’t feed into this horrible situation. Don’t talk about her or anyone in his family. It only starts more problems. If you truly love your husband respect him.
Oh my god! Stay away from them. They sound so toxic. As long as your husband supports you is all that matters. Don’t worry about him talking to her at all.
If a mother has any love and respect for her son… she would not treat her daughter-in-law this way… even more so the grand children.
Say by for good.
My mil called me a bitch on Facebook once. She still hasn’t met our 5 month old and likely never will. People like her do not change. We gave her many chances with our older two kids. Sorry!!!
Wow what a bitch. Maybe your husband doesn’t want to waste his breath speaking to her because she will never change.
Go off on her stupid ass and tell ur husband to get his shit together
She is toxic and wouldn’t be a good example for your children. I would continue with how you’ve been doing things the past two years.
Maybe the MIL just needs to get laid. Idk
Kill her with kindness or be an adult and sit down with her and your husband without your child around and have an open discussion. Try to mend the relationship.
Nacho her ass. Cut her off from you. No more social media,no more anything. Leave all communication between her and your family between her and your husband. His mom, his family,he needs to be the one to deal with her and the rest of them. Be done. Trust me. Once you say “not my monkeys not my circus” the less stressful your life will be.
I personally would block her, and no longer allow her to see my children. Let her know you are doing it and why, so maybe she wont be so toxic to others as well.
What’s her problem??? And why you are waiting for your husband to talk to her she said mean things about your family and what’s the problem with your son nooo girl I will not wait for him to talk to her I’m
Not a child I can handle things on my own
Uh F her I wouldn’t take my kids around her EVER again and I wouldn’t be around her either. She just lost her right as a Grandma for sure
I’ll tell you something I have been there but differently, my husbands womb donor is a bitch and I’m not saying that out of anger. He went through a lot with her. I tried several times pushing him to call her and try to have her apart of our family but he didn’t want it, he did it because I pushed so hard, fast forward a few years and we had a come to Jesus meeting with her laying it all out and giving the final chance she swore she would change and my husband said 90 days of no improvement and he’s done for good. And he is. She doesn’t know our sons name, not because she hasn’t heard it or met him, but because she chooses to not have us as a priority. My husband made the decision to cut all ties and he’s dealt with it accordingly. If she can’t be civil towards you and your family and can’t be an adult, then with your husbands blessing do what’s best for you and your family. It was a big relief to not have to deal with the drama anymore.
tell that bitch to take a hike off a cliff
Never again talk to them!
Nope, nope nope. She literally would never see me or her grandkids again if that was my MIL. If her son wants a relationship with her, that’s up to him. Screw that, life’s way too short for dealing with that petty pathetic crap. But I would confront her and tell her I was cutting her out for her shitty behaviour.
Yea,no. Cut them out of your life for good! They clearly only care about themselves.
My mil was so horrible. My husband kept forgiving her and would continue to help her after his dad my fil passed away. She turned so nasty no one wanted to be around her. It came to head one night when she said my daughter wouldn’t amount to anything being raised by a single mom (me-I had her in high school and met him when she was almost 10). He told his mom off and walked away from her life. It’s been 5 years and we have yet to talk to her. Best decision for us. We don’t have the drama or black cloud anymore. We have her many chances to improve and she wouldn’t.
I don’t know. There’s always two sides to a story, why is she calling you a “spoiled bitch” “heartless” and refuses to shake your families hands etc? People don’t do that for no reason at all. I’ve never heard of someone crying because the grandson said hi to her? It doesn’t sound right. There’s a lot missing. Maybe a family talk or counseling before you completely cut people off.
Blood is not ever a reason to keep tocic people in your life. This is a dramatic example, but if she were a child molester she’d be gone…right? Well, she’s still doing harm, just a different kind. Cut her off before there’s lasting damage to your kids. I’m HUGE on family but my kids have always been first and I have cut out family who are toxic.
Confront her and see what’s her problem
You talk to her. Explain your feelings and allow her the time to explain hers.
If the behavior continues then I would cut contact. You don’t want your son growing up thinking behavior like that, treating others that way, is ok. Good luck mama
Nicole Ison
I think you are better to weigh in on this lol
Personally, I would end up posting on her status to “get stuffed” and “I hope you have a wonderfully lonely life because I’m tired of smelling all the bull shit” and just block everything and don’t invite them to anything anymore.
Sounds like she is accusingly you of what she is doing to you. She has some serious problems going on in her head. I would cut her off. She’s toxic and unstable.
Cut that shit off girl toxic is toxic
Let it go, go back to not attending family functions as you did in the past. You insisted he invite his mother so your obligation is over. You offered the olive branch so to speak and she chose to not accept it
If I were u,I would get away from him & his Family,asap!! They need psychological help!! If u don’t want your Children to
turn out like them,get away,fast!!
I don’t blame him for not wanting to talk to her. It’s like talking to a brick wall and I’m sure he’s pretty upset/embarrased about his family disrespecting everyone. I would call it a loss and cut ties.
I would have a sit down with her and tell her that she has some growing up to do and after she does, you guys can reevaluate the relationship then. You’re dealing with someone who is emotionally a child… I would treat it as such.
Been there!! Never again. My MIL wanted my husband at her house constantly. To move this or fix this with her younger husband sitting right there. She would call late at night for him to go across town to put an air conditioner in her window. She had two teenage boys living there. She stayed friends with his ex who cheated on him and didn’t want to raise their kids. And when he had an affair on me, she was friends with her too. I tried to get her to like me. I would go clean her house after work when she didn’t feel good. Took her to the dr. I bought all her Mother’s Day gifts, bday gifts, Christmas gifts. She got me or my kids nothing so at Christmas gatherings my kids sat there and watched all the other kids open presents from them. And she would slip my husband a gift card just for him. We divorced and remarried a few years later and she was ate up!! Literally told him in front of me that “he couldn’t choose me over her”. I haven’t had a thing to do with her in over three years and I don’t miss any of it! He hasn’t either, in spite of me telling him to go see her if he wants. He chooses not to and she don’t come here. I’m good with that.
Can’t say any more, they covered it all
Cut them out of your life for good. I did this almost 2 years ago and my life has been so peaceful since!!
Honestly he could have without you being there also I would havw came uncooked on her myself my husband step mom is a total drama queen and he has to keep me in the house locked up or we be homeless if it was up to her after I ringed her ass but I stay the he’ll away from her and not have anything mg to do with them ever again apparently your husband okay with not being around them
Sounds like she is extremely immature with mental problems and he is very weak and can’t stand up to her. I would let that be the final invitation for her to join a family function
It’s his family. He’s your husband. He needs to sort it which he obviously isn’t doing. You and your son are being disrespected majorly
I have a very narcissistic mil+ all of hubbys family are absolutely toxic and crazy, I’ve finally had to cut them all out and hubby is little-to no contact with them as well, I’d save yourself the drama, especially with her being so rude to your child! And your man needs to stick up for you and let them know that this behavior is absolutely unacceptable!
Do not put him in the middle and ignore her. You tried. To protect your children you may have to back off for now and let him handle her.
She sounds like a self centered narcissist and I wouldnt have anything to do with her let it go and cut her out of your life.
I give u props for trying but your mental well-being is way more important
Yeah it would have been curtains for MIL!!! Especially after she treated her own grandson…As well I would have not invited her to the baby shower for your second child…she already showed her true colors… cut them off especially if your husband is not addressing the issue…then again he probably knows it’s a waste of time and that’s why he was so adamant about not inviting her to the baby shower but you insisted…
I’d personally go to her house by myself and we’re gonna about a few things
Hubby needs to man up, it’s his job to deal with his family and your responsible for handling issue with your family… I would definitely protect myself and my children from that negativity, and stay away from it!!!
Only thing you can do is stop trying to be her family. Support your husband and let him make decisions for his side of the family… BUT don’t let that woman ruin you family by not wanting you in hers.
Maybe I’m old school but I’d be a bigger person and just let it go. Sometimes people are just drama. If people are taking a Facebook post as truth then maybe these people aren’t supposed to be in your life. Some people aren’t good with babies no matter how old they are- this is your husbands mother. Most men are not going to cause issues about his Mom “saying things” because it’s his Mom and it’s not going to stop because you got upset- that was probably the point. I don’t know what kind of relationship you are going to have by ignoring her. They probably did feel ignored and mistreated. You could have said hello or forced some small talk. You may have to be the grown up in that relationship. She may want a relationship but doesn’t know how to get one started. Meet her in the
Middle- set boundaries so you don’t get on each other’s nerves and don’t take drama starters seriously. Enjoy your family but grateful for your new lo and good luck!
Ignore her… shes stirring a pot… the less you do in retaliation the better… just simply dont deal with it… nobody’s got time for that s**t… good luck.
Leave him out of it, he’s in a bad place. Just take this as a lesson learned that his family is better off staying away. I feel bad for your husband to have such a drama filled family. Love your life and love your babies and f them people.
Block them. I’ve had problems with my laws for years, and now we finally have our own place, and I refuse to go to anything at their house. I tell my husband he can invite them to stuff, because they are his family. But if anyone disrespects either of us while they are here then that’ll be the last time they are invited.
Just block all of them on social media so you can just ignore them
Yeah just leave it and your husband can talk to her when he’s ready but I wouldn’t invite her to anymore events, if your husband wants to invite her that’s ok but I wouldn’t have any communication with her it can be her talking to him
Yeah that bitch would be cut off…No if ans or buts about it. You can disrespect me because I married into your family(I can handle myself) but I be damned if you disrespect MY parents and family.
Cut ALL ties with her esp after how she treated her grandson, that would’ve set me off. Tell your husband that shes no longer welcome at your home/events…
My husband would’ve put a stop to it the first time.
Well it WAS YOUR fault for insisting oh her going. You knew she was a bitch and now your complaining about it. I mean,i dont get it, but whatever your life. Ignore the whore. Shes nothing to you. Dont ever have her over or talk to her again. There. Done. Next
I would just stay away from them, that was so disrespectful too you and your husband and your parent s , with you expecting you shouldn’t be around them.
Just cut her off. Completely. No contact from her or for her.
Here’s my advice.
- Listen to your husband about his family. If he doesn’t want them to be around honor his feelings
- Let him deal with his family in his time. There is a history of shit that’s been happening probably way before you. Let him handle it and support him in whatever way he does handle it. Even if he does nothing.
- Accept that she is never going to be the grandma you want for your children. Like seriously accept that shit. Quit forcing something that is not going to happen.
Acceptance is always the key to my worries over any situation!
Sounds like feelings have been hurt and toxic relationship patterns are playing out. Time to learn and set some healthy boundaries. Jovanna Casey has a wealth of info on her website www.newjumpspot.com and it’s all free to read on her blog. It sounds like your husband’s side of the family is enmeshed so start there. It’s a problem boundary style and very invasive. If your husband grew up with it he probably doesn’t have the knowledge to set healthy boundaries with his family. Unfortunately it can rip families apart and ruin a good marriage if it’s not addressed in a healthy way. Speaking from experience.
I had a similar experience with my MIL. I just cut her off with no access to me at all… pisses them off that they can’t be mean to you but your world will become peaceful